more self destruction
LMN
I blew through one of my custodial trust accounts. My family's financial manager called me and told me I zeroed out the account as of yesterday. I have plenty of other custodial trust accounts and a six figure salary so it's not that I'm in financial trouble, per se, as it is the concept of how much I spent. All on stupid shit such as:
- strippers
- cocaine
- sports cars
At the end of the day, I have nothing to show for it. Not even the material objects. I get bored of a car days after I buy it. It gives me pleasure for all of one or two drives then it's boring and dull.
I'm doing some construction on my condo (the one I live in) and I had to ask my father for $10k because I can't get the other custodial accounts released for a few more days and I blew through my last few paychecks on stupid shit.
I texted my psychiatrist that I needed more roxis. Stupid bitch still hasn't texted me back. $250/hour and doesn't take insurance plus she bills me an additional $250 for every scrip I "request."
Tomorrow, I will find out if a business that I have equity in will be sold or not. If it does, I'll make about 750k. I will probably shut down the strip club when I get that cash, lol.
Makes me wonder, though: is this life?
- strippers
- cocaine
- sports cars
At the end of the day, I have nothing to show for it. Not even the material objects. I get bored of a car days after I buy it. It gives me pleasure for all of one or two drives then it's boring and dull.
I'm doing some construction on my condo (the one I live in) and I had to ask my father for $10k because I can't get the other custodial accounts released for a few more days and I blew through my last few paychecks on stupid shit.
I texted my psychiatrist that I needed more roxis. Stupid bitch still hasn't texted me back. $250/hour and doesn't take insurance plus she bills me an additional $250 for every scrip I "request."
Tomorrow, I will find out if a business that I have equity in will be sold or not. If it does, I'll make about 750k. I will probably shut down the strip club when I get that cash, lol.
Makes me wonder, though: is this life?
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Stripper keeps texting me asking if I'd mind making the down payment on her new car.
Surrounded by parasites.
Anyway, strippers are financially irresponsible given their spending when they are at risk of running out of money. Its different when you know that isn't really possible.
I don't claim to be responsible per se, but financially I have a lot of lucrative investments that I've invested money from my trusts in. I spend a lot because I can. I'm never going to end up broke and homeless, or taking my clothes off for money.
Sociopathy
My current psychiatrist is a woman who basically sells me drugs. She also told me that I was most likely a sociopath but our interactions in person are usually just mindless bullshit for 30-40 mins. She knows I need to see her weekly to keep my trust funds and I know she gets $250 per visit plus $250 for every scrip I want (which is a lot). it's a symbiotic relationship.
Off topic, but have you been to that new strip club that opened downtown? I think it's called E11even. I haven't been, but am curious about it. Sounds like a shit show. Thoughts?
Yes, my "favorite" stripper worked there until she quit stripping and lived off me. Its an attempt at being more high end, attracting 6 figure professionals, etc. As you may know, a lot of strip clubs down here get very "urban". Even the more expensive ones as they get filled with rappers and athletes. That's not my scene at all. So, I liked e11even. Prepare to spend, though. I was paying this chick $900 for sex and she was working there. But she was also, IMO, the hottest girl there by a mile.
@papi_chulo: fair enough, lol. Miami is a big place, though. I rarely venture off South Beach as I live in one of those islands across from port of miami. Everything is kind of a hassle to get to.
Most people comfortably exist in the confines of the rat race. Perhaps when that is taken away, you may find that life is actually just a meaningless sequence of events.
I always felt like if I "needed" a 9-5 job to make ends meet, I would be more functional out of necessity. That's why I initially got a suit and tie job after grad school.
Unfortunately, that's really dificult to do for a sociopath, so you're really in for a rough life.
For me, I keep it simple. One day at a time, take pleasure in the simple things of life. Get a simple daily or weekly routine down and stick with it. You want to be challenged in life? That's your challenge. Being self destructive? That's easy. Not being self destructive? That's hard work.
Since meeting my ATF I've been paying her about a grand a week. I've smoked crack, snorted line of blow, injected coke and white(the last time I OD'ed & ended up in the ER). I've had a fucking ball, I've fucked several other dancers from her club, and knocked several items off my sexual bucket list.
Now, 5 years later I'm starting to ask the same questions as you. What's it all about Alphie?
We could go together. Unless this LMN is the second coming of Golith, we could handle him. Plus we have your boys and I have mine as backup if needed. :)
Of course this could never happen since LMN is the figment of some 12 year old geek's imagination!
For me, I think it's about boredom and emptiness. I find my life to be an empty meaningless sequence of events. The strippers and drugs seem to liven it up, temporarily. But it constantly requires pushing the envelope, because what excites me once I find dull the second time.
Its also about control. I prefer these relationships because she is my subordinate due to the finances. That gets me off, in some way.
I often wake up and wonder "what the fuck is the point of going to work, getting out of bed, or doing anything?" it's all so mundane and meaningless.
I often find myself disgusted and self loathing after sex with this strippers and I want them out immediately.
My "favorite" once asked me "why I'm so unhappy when I have such a nice life." she explained that she had so little compared to me but it seems like I can't appreciate anything. At the time, I blew off the comment. It has since stuck in my mind as a shockingly accurate evaluation.
I assume the strippers will get boring soon and I'll move on to something else.
I have had many self destructive habits, since I was a child. I am just afforded the unfortunate ability to indulge in my vices due to my financial situation. Most people are limited to drown in their vices by monetary confines. Perhaps it would be best if I had those shackles.
Ironically, I think my girlfriend is cheating on me. We have a long distance "relationship" and lately I think she's seeing someone else. I'm not sure how to feel about it. It does bug me though.
I could always use a partner with more money than brains. The wells drilled this past winter came in at $15mil to $35mil per. Next winter I am aiming at much deeper targets and the wells will be much more expensive.
Want to sign on?
Lol, I work in private equity. That's why it's so important none of my extracurricular behavior leads to drug offenses, dui's, etc. Would cause major issues with SEC.
we mostly deal with software startups. Don't have enough knowledge on Nat gas to get involved though a friend of mine constantly talks about it.