The New And Improved Catholic Church
Sunday, May 11, 2014 12:03 AM
Check it out people. I went to my niece's first holy communion this Saturday and who am I greeted by but none other than church ushers who look more bouncers than ministers. Seriously, one usher looked like an extra from Sons of Anarchy. One usher looked like a squat Yakuza. And another usher looked like a DI-barrel chest, crew cut, high and tight, no humor.
Let me tell you that they ain't fucking around. These new ushers dog you hard until you tip a little extra in the collection basket. Heaven ain't cheap.
By the way. Lots of hot Catholic chicks in my parish. I might just start going to church again.
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