Actual Real-World Interaction with Dancers

33 comments

• how

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  10 years ago

  I'll start: I met (in their club) two dancers in Texas who were roommates. One of them made a date with me and had me pick her up at their apartment. While there, I got along better with the roommate than the one I was going out with. Months later, we established an actual friendship that never involved money nor sob-stories. She had her stuff together, relatively speaking. Once and only once after that time did I go to her club while she happened to be there. She told me she "felt naked" because I had seen her there, so I never went there again. She's actually a fine person, and a good example that dancers can be people, too.
• Dougster

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  10 years ago

  Depends how central stripping is to their lives and how long they've done it for which is related. Many seem to become normal a year or two after they've quit.
• motorhead

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  10 years ago

  I would never actually date a dancer. I'm much too old for that. But my ATF texts me at least once or twice per week. She's been retired for nearly 2 years so it's not about money. I'm Facebook friends with both her and her husband. They both have solid careers. As normal as can be. I guess you could say we are friends as odd as it sounds.
• Clubber

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  10 years ago

  I believe I've well documented my ATF relationship on here. Going on 14 years now, but sadly, contact is very irregular these days. :(
• how

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  10 years ago

  It is important for us guys to remember the reality that dancers are principally about our cash; however, I hope folks don't start to resent all dancers as if none of them have any actual human qualities. That's what some threads on TUSCL sometimes suggest might be happening to our brother club-goers.
• Dougster

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  10 years ago

  how: "I hope folks don't start to resent all dancers as if none of them have any actual human qualities" It's not like NONE of them have human qualities. I would say at least 2% do. :-)
• how

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  10 years ago

  It may be a small percentage, indeed. But I appreciate those special few...
• Clackport

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  10 years ago

  The key is to treat them like normal people, not whores. Although, most of them are whores. @motor- maybe your ATF texts you weekly to express her gratitude for you spending thousands on her over the years? Lol Just kidding. I do find it interesting that you are Facebook friends with her husband. Does he know about you and his wife? Lol.
• skibum609

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  10 years ago

  Knew a dancer for a long time, but just from chatting, having never gotten dancers from her. She's very bi and lives with her b/f about 5 miles down the road from us so wtf wife and I made plans to hang out with her and her b/f. First few times was fun. Alcohol, 420 and great sex. As time went on we got to know them both better and while the guy is "normal" she is absolutely insane. The better we get to know her the more bizarre she becomes. Finally convinced wife 6 months ago to cut the ties and guess what? Not that easy.....
• SlickSpic

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  10 years ago

  I've hung out with some cool dancers out of work. I've gone to the school where one dancer has classes and I've met the folks and sister of another. I've also had a dancer who became a FWB retract her FWB status and ask me to for back to P4P.
• lopaw

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  10 years ago

  I've known many dancers OTC and also many former dancers and sadly most maintain a dancer's mentality even after they quit dancing. I'm beginning to believe that it is genetic.
• tumblingdice

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  10 years ago

  Real-world connection,encouraging words,reasonably normal life?OP,are you high?
• rockstar666

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  10 years ago

  I've had a couple dates with my ATF as friends. She's even hotter with her clothes on, but alas she's remained a flake, so I'm not allowing myself to take it too seriously.
• how

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  10 years ago

  @tumblingdice, I've experienced real interaction with fine gals who happened also to be dancers. They are not ALL cut from the mold you imagine.
• SlickSpic

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  10 years ago

  If I ever saw a dancer with mold, I'd let her know. That's just not sanitary.
• how

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  10 years ago

  Clever retort, Slick.
• gawker

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  10 years ago

  There are two dancers who I've gotten to know outside and they both want & need friendship, but are unmitigatingly fucked up. Total flakes with little semblance of what I'd call normal. I enjoy the entertainment. There's a third who I began to get to know outside the club but she got royally pissed at me for a faux pas and cut me off. She is the closest I've known to normalcy.
• dallas702

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  10 years ago

  Some dancers are just too "out there" for me to be comfortable interacting outside a club (Hell, some are so far out there I'm not comfortable interacting with them inside a club!). A few more live lifestyles that would naturally exclude me (committed lesbians for instance). But, in my experience, most dancers are pretty much OK - even if many of them are a bit strange in one way or another. I dated one dancer for more than two years, unfortunately she was one of the many dancers who had severe problems dealing with everyday life outside the club. She couldn't manage to keep a car (they always broke and she always picked a shade tree mechanic who ripped her off). She couldn't manage to pay her rent on time, or balance a check book (which meant banks refused to let her open accounts), or keep groceries in the house. Our times together were usually very pleasant. It was never a P4P thing, but I was generous with dinners out, gifts of clothing, shopping, short trips together. Often I stopped at a grocery store and picked up a few staples on my way to her apartment. It ended after she checked herself into a mental health facility because she didn't want to take her meds anymore (bi-polar). After a talk with her, I cut it off - she was refusing to take meds - even in the facility.). A few other dancers have, over the years, been in (or at least on the edges of) my circle of friends. Some were perfectly normal, notable only because they were prettier and healthier than most other people. Others were walking disasters, not bad people, just very bad at living life!
• Subraman

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  10 years ago

  I've dated or become friends with a number of dancers. The amount of craziness they took with them when they retired from dancing varied, some were worse than others, but I know of only one out of my small group who moved onto a normal life -- got married, went back to school and has a good job now, has kids, etc.
• ReadyPayerOne

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  10 years ago

  Are they all about money? No. Is it possible to make a real-life connection outside of the club? Yes. Can I share stories about them leading normal lives? I've only befriended one dancer outside of the club. I'll have to say no on this one. She is unconventional, hence wouldn't fit in many people's definition of normal. I wouldn't encourage anyone to go to strip clubs with the goal of TRULY befriending dancers. Way too high a risk of getting played. Even if you manage to hack through all the hustling, like a jungle explorer with a machete... Well, be careful what you wish for. You just might get it.
• steve229

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  10 years ago

  @ how - your recent posts seem to have a different tone than the How of old - or am I just mis-remembering?
• how

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  10 years ago

  @steve229 I do not know what you remember, but I have not changed.
• ilbbaicnl

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  10 years ago

  Not me. But none of my closer friends are under 40 either.
• sclvr5005

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  10 years ago

  Once they've danced for any serious length of time can they ever really lead a normal life? I don't think so. Many aren't strong enough to shrug off the bad shit that they encounter while dancing and will drag that baggage around with them forever.
• alabegonz

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  10 years ago

  I've dated a dancer I met inside the club. We went out, became good friends and is now in an undefined relationship. The hard part is the lie she plays on me when we are outside. I just let it slide like she never said it, this technique works well with me because I can easily just forget about it without raising any flags. I've met a lot of her family members, even her ex-husband. That was a bit awkward shaking his hand and him telling about it is my turn to take care of her. You say normal life? I don't think this lady will switch her way of thinking to a normal life. It's probably because she learned so many stripper skills it blended with her real persona and she can pull them out and apply it as we go. Not really impressed with that skill, so annoying. But we do have a connection, I guess this is the thing that keeps me close to her. Same thing probably happened to her ex, though. They connected very well, then something happened, I'm guessing she played around with another dude(custy) and got busted by the ex. So, maybe I'm good as while she likes me, until the next dude comes along showing up as the next cool dude who will make her happy. My advice to you is to just know the stuff she plays on you. If she is into you, she will not play tricks on you.
• jackslash

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  10 years ago

  I had a 2-year relationship with a dancer who said she loved me. Was it a normal relationship? Well, it contained normal elements like going to restaurants, attending concerts, meeting her parents and other family members, picking up her child, etc. She was a lot of fun. But she was also a drunken, lying, cheating whore.
• how

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  10 years ago

  A dancer I met in her club over a decade ago surely broke the stereotype. She and I dated awhile, never P4P and never a single "help me" or sob-story. She was studying criminology in college, and never behaved in any manner that made me suspect her stripper-alter-ego was weighing her down with baggage. In fact, when I started this thread, I did not think of her, because I never thought of her as a stripper. I refused to get dances from her, because I could tell from first meeting her I was interested in her personally. When we first kissed (second date, not the first date), I felt as if I had been struck by lightening. Boom! I had to move out-of-state for work; otherwise, I'd have been very happy to stick with her as long as possible.
• 7

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  10 years ago

  Plus1 jack took my story lol
• berge1

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  10 years ago

  It can happen... has to me! Beendating my ATF for 2years. She texts me EVERY morning and we keep in touch throught the day. It's not about money...that ran out long time ago. She still stays with me...I guess there is something to say about making a connection despite many differences in our lives. She graduates college next month and I will attend with her family. Yes, it can work!
• sclvr5005

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  10 years ago

  Lol I think that jack's last sentence summed it up nicely.
• Tiredtraveler

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  10 years ago

  I never stay one place long enough to get to the relationship phase. I however do try to treat the girls like anyone else trying to earn a living.
• sharkhunter

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  10 years ago

  I've met up with various dancers over the years, no money involved. With one dancer, the club closed at 2AM and she routinely left work with me whenever I visited. I used to meet dancers for the first time in some clubs and on a few occasions they would talk about meeting up at various parties or whatever. I occasionally went to regular clubs with the one dancer who was leaving her workplace with me. I once tried to go to another strip club with her but I remember her saying the last place she wanted to go on her day off was another strip club.
• sharkhunter

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  10 years ago

  Oh, if you're not careful, you could be visiting a dancer with a boyfriend that she never told you about. Then if he leaves her, you could become her number one choice. I didn't figure this out until later. I was trying to figure out why she wanted me to drive 2 hours to where she lived at just to watch a movie with her. She was acting strange. Her former boyfriend got her pregnant and then left. She wasn't showing at all when she told me. For a while until I moved, she got a job as a waitress in the strip club but still did dances for me. I never traveled to meet up with her and see any movie. She started looking a bit pregnant a few months later. We both liked each other. She was pregnant and I had been looking for a better job. I might start looking for another job sooner or later. My current boss is like a slave master. He just keeps demanding more and more and never seems to be satisfied and then tells me how I'm already behind on other projects, duhh, whose fault is that really? An overdemanding boss. Half the people working for him already quit. I believe not being happy with your boss or work conditions, other than your pay rate, might be the number one or two reason for looking for a new job.