Is it common for men to visit Asian massage parlors?

Let him know how you fell

I personally don't visit them but quite a few friends of mine (married, in a relationship, and single) do. It's not too uncommon and they don't make it seem like a big deal as far as guilt. I don't think they tell their significant others though. Did you find out or did your husband volunteer the info?

Uh-oh, looks like this is one happy ending that will not have a happy ending...

Great! Another Juice.

Common? Not at all.

Draper: no he didn't tell me how could he? he never knew how sharp i was, i know everything about AMP's, strip clubs etc, i am more informed than a average woman is about these places so i don't want any explanations from him. I know why men go ( harmless, no big deal etc) it's nothing new to me i just don't get how they can think its' not a big deal. I checked his laptop and found out AMP searches, and he spoked to his colleagues about them as well!

He said he feels guilty but doesn't know if it is cheating, he also said the whore asked him first if he wants a handjob and he nodded. I am disgusted. I meant to be marrying him haha, what an idiot, he seriously thought he could fool me.

Why do men hide this from their partners?

Why do men hide it from their partners? I think you are demonstrating why!

Here's a news flash for you kels01- we women go to AMPs too. And I go to strip clubs and I do all of the things that men do so don't make it out that we married women are all so innocent and victims. We each make our choices and sometimes pay a price for it.

Yeah this isn't the place to come to to piss and moan about what we as a group consider a wonderful hobby. AMP, SC, escort, whatever.
Go over to stripperweb and complain over there with the rest of the whiney twats.

@Kels01: "Have any of you had a girlfriend and went to this place?"

I have a wife, and I go to them periodically.

@Kels01: "did she ever found out."

Tense mangling aside, yes, she found out. When I told her. Our relationship is likely different than yours however.

@Kels01: "why would he let himself get washed by another woman?"

"Washed"? Is this a euphemism, or are you referring to the table shower that some places offer? If the latter, it can be a *very* erotic experience; I recommend it. It's delightfully sensual thing to have a (hopefully) pretty woman tenderly washing one's body, even the non-dick parts. I mean this in all seriousness: give it a try sometime, and see what you think before asking that question again. Offer to do it for him, and ask him to do it for you, but get a pro to do it first, to give you an idea of how to do it. It's not just running a washcloth over his body.

@Kels01: "what should i do with him?"

Well, if he didn't lie about it to you, you *might* consider just telling him how you feel about it, and maybe even tell him you're going to go to one before making any judgement about it. It might be something you could do together, if you can find a willing provider.

And yes, you can probably find a masseuse, or masseur, if that's your preference, who will give you the same style of erotic experience your boyfriend apparently had.

If he lied, well, that's a different thing. If you can't trust him, I would certainly not recommend marrying him.

In general, men are sluts, even if many don't actually act on it. As a group (which isn't meant to imply that there aren't many outside that group), men like variety in lots of things, including sex. If you can't live with that, either by providing that variety yourself, or letting him find it elsewhere, you have no business marrying the kind of man who fits that profile. You should find one you wants the kind of relationship that *you* want.

@Kels01...You deserve a Juicey award

Listen to George he is right!!! I am a woman and I have received some extremely sensual massages (from both men and women) at regular spas and I have been incredibly aroused and wet. I was not offered a "happy ending" but receiving massage in general is still very good healthy thing to do for your body. So I am not a man but heres my 2 cents: 1) massage is healthy 2) massage at North American spas is about $60/hr 3) AMP offer same massage with happy ending available for less $ 4) most men like the economy and availibility of #3 5) on the bright side he didnt get a prostitute, he doesnt have another girlfriend and he was honest 6) do you ever go out of your way to provide your man with a variety of sexual experiences? why not rent a book or Dvd from a library about how to do massage / erotic massage and maybe you can BOTH give eachother happy endings?

I almost never went to an AMP on purpose. There were once two located outside a strip club I wanted to visit and the Korean girls were very aggressive. They ganged up on me two or three at a time and pulled me into their club. Then they started to massage me. The next thing I know, they wanted me to pay for an expensive drink. I had no intention of even visiting.

A guy needs some way to release sexual tension. If he's not married yet, he stills needs to release the tension somehow or he'll go crazy and attack someone.

Kels01, you're right to be disgusted with your boyfriend for going to an Asian massage parlor. He should have gone to an American strip club.

I never got a shower or wash at an amp. Most of the time I tried to sneak past them. The girls inside started moving their hands on me without asking after they dragged me inside their parlors.
These girls probably mean nothing to someone visiting or a mere distraction if you walk by and get pulled inside.

I remember a dancer once asked me if I ever got worried about a bunch of girls ganging up on me and having sex. It hasn't happened yet so I never worry about it. I consider a HJ no big deal and it is not sex. However I can understand a committed gf or wife getting upset. I think if a girl starts stroking a guy in the right spot, it becomes impossible to think clearly. I remember being determined to tell the girls in one parlor no but one girl reached inside and started massaging me. I still had my shorts on too and had told her no. After a few minutes I was feeling too good to think rationally.

@Kels01-Maybe you should ask Eric and Fez what they think while you're in the basement.

Yes.

It's uncommon for Asians to visit Asian massage parlors.

As i am reading these responses i wonder if it is worth for women to stay loyal...

The biggest mistake you could make is to think that things will change after you get married. If you have a problem with it now, it will be a problem later on. Better to know the deal now than make the mistake of marrying someone, having kids, etc. and having a problem dealing with it. Just my 2 cents.

kels01...it depends on what kind of man you have. Kinda obvious.

"As i am reading these responses i wonder if it is worth for women to stay loyal..."


If your Significant Other in a committed relationship DOESN'T believe in Fidelity and loyalty, you may need to end the relationship.

"As i am reading these responses i wonder if it is worth for women to stay loyal..."

No not really. Why not have an open relationship that you both can explore fun outside while staying together? You get yours and he gets his. Fair is fair.

sclvr5005: why is it worth staying together with someone if both of you have sex with other people? i don't understand that. If you want to have sex with many people then just stay single...not hard. Isn't a open relationship something like having friends with benefits? if the other partner is ok with it then it's ok but if you are being discreet and do kinky stuff behind your partner's back then there is obviously something wrong with you.

Even if there are no emotions, it only happens once in a while, it still brings a terrible feeling to your significant other. It might be harmless for YOU but not for your partner. But yes i think an open relationship is exciting and a lot of fun.

Kels01- you have a partner to share your everyday life with financially, economically, socially. But you both are free to go outside the boundary to explore sex with others if desired. Sex is just sex. But I agree that both parties have to be open to it and agree upon it for it to work.

sclvr5005-i probably would not be able to have this kind of relationship, not because i think sex is something special, because i really think it is NOT, but i just would get extremely angry NOT because i have been betrayed but because i am a possessive person and wouldn't want mine man to be pampered by another woman. I am a jealous person and i know there are people who don't take physical touch as cheating just emotional well i am the opposite of those.

Possession isn't love, and it's not a thing on which to base a relationship. If you only want to possess someone, go to one of those countries that still permits slavery. It's not any less despicable, but it's more honest.

georgmicrodong: when i said i am a possessive person i didn't mean it in a bad way. To me a physical relationship is much more important than emotional. But that doesn't mean that i want my partner to fall in love with someone else. If i imagine my boyfriend getting rubbed by another woman i get jealous and angry at the same time because i don't think anyone else except me should do that to him ( this is what i meant by possession) to clarify that my boyfriend should not share any sensual touch with anyone else . He can touch other women but they can't touch him that's all.

I would also rather have him sex with the woman instead of her touching him ( to me touching his genitals would be way more intimate than if he would have sex with the lady.

Whether you meant it in a bad way or not is irrelevant. Jealousy, anger and possessiveness are *not* love.

And just exactly how does one have sex with someone without touching that person's genitals?

really good sex sometimes changes your philosophy and outlook ... AMP and SC experiences are just a tiptoe into the wonderful world of sexuality that is best when shared in a private relationship. have you ever had your nails done by the asian ladies? u know some are better than others and it all depends on the day time etc that u go. SCs and AMPs are similar in that no same wonderful experience is guaranteed. u dont have to stay with him but every man is going to have different healthy temptations. personally as women i think its better to approach men with more allowance and compassion. even though men are sexually different they still are people who need to receive love, with love to give.

It sounds to me like this dude is not going to be the man for you going forward. There are men who won't go to strip clubs and amps when in a relationship. I never went to an AMP or had sex with other women when I was in a relationship.

But with some men they have to have to have it all the time and if their gf won't provide it they will find it elsewhere. Some will do it even if their gf are providing it. Look at Tiger Woods and David Justice. Their ex-wives (Elin Nordegren and Halle Berry)are gorgeous and They cheated on them. So I think you have to have a conversion with him and tell him what you want and how what he did made you feel. If he is understanding and if you guys can come to an understanding of expectations within the relationship then you can move forward with it. If you have any doubts you have to end it.

But if you do move forward think about what it is you provide him sexually and if his needs are being met and if he is meeting your needs as well. There are many men on this site who go to strip clubs because their sexual needs are not being met at home. I even went to clubs when my ex-wife stopped having sex. I never had sex with anyone but sometimes i just wanted that feeling of being wanted even if it was just a fantasy for an hour or so.

I hope this helps.

Women have got to start thinking more with their clits & less with their societal reinforced emotions. Life would be a helluva lot easier, that's for sure.

Kels posted: "Is it common for men to visit Asian massage parlors?"

Sure, when they want to get off with hot young Asian girls. How did you ever find out anyway? Was this dude actually stupid enough to use a credit card, or was he just too much of a pussy to keep his mouth shut? Inquiring minds want to know. ;)

Kels posted: "I would also rather have him sex with the woman instead of her touching him ( to me touching his genitals would be way more intimate than if he would have sex with the lady."

Well, then you're in luck, because the odds are good that he got a lot more than he is admitting to. LOL.

Any more questions?

You seem to place higher value on sexual fidelity than on emotional commitment and behavioral kindness. Are you also going to demand that he have no other friends than you and no hobbies or interests beyond those that he shares with you?

Maybe we should try to love each other like we love our dogs. We tolerate and love the unique features of our dogs (even when it licks it balls or humps the leg of a visitor), without incessantly demanding that our dogs be something that they are not.

George-if you have sex with someone you don't see or touch their genitals directly, but those Asian whores do. They make direct physical and visual contact with the other persons genitals whether it's a man or a woman. That makes me much more jealous than if he would get a stripper and have sex with her.

Trixxi- do you mean we should allow men to sleep around with strippers and Asian ladies? if so then sorry but you sound like you place a lot of emphasis on emotional bond than physical. I don't so i can't agree with your theory. If that's the case then me giving other men blowjobs is justified as well.

RICDUGAN: thank you for being and honest and telling me that most men are frequenting these shady places. No i believe he used cash, i found out through searching his laptop, so no he would have NEVER told me he's been to this place it it wasn't for my sharp personality. Why do people want to get off with hot Asian girls if they are already taken? i don't get how some men can't understand that handjob or any erotic touching is cheating. If it's so harmless then why won't they allow us to do the same thing to other men?

"why won't they allow us to do the same thing to other men?"

WTF? Are you a prisoner or something? Are you living in the dark ages? Women can do whatever the fuck they want to.

Kels stop asking questions!!! I think your General Comprehension Level is beyond the numerous intellectually competent responses you have received ... My advice is to get off the forums and live a little ... you are thinking in circles and not seeing the truth in the responses.

Lol Lopaw has it right!

@Kels01: "if you have sex with someone you don't see or touch their genitals directly"

That's not sex, that's copulation. While fun, it's only *half* the fun. Maybe not even that much.

Frankly, your entire outlook is so foreign to me that I'm afraid I completely fail to understand it. For my wife and me, sex is the *least* important part of our relationship. Far more important are the mutual love, support and commitment that we share.


@Kels01: "do you mean we should allow men to sleep around with strippers and Asian ladies?"

"Allow" doesn't enter into you; you don't own us, and you have no right whatsoever to tell any of us what to do. We get to do what we want, and accept the consequences of those actions.

Did he lie about what he did? Did he *explicitly* promise not to have this type of contact with other women? If the answer is "no" to both of those, then you can either accept his behavior, or not and move on. You don't get to whine about him not lying or not breaking promises.

If, on the other hand, *either* of those answers is "yes", then such a person would not be worth *my* time. I would seriously consider moving on.


@Kels01: "i don't get how some men can't understand that handjob or any erotic touching is cheating."

And I don't get how you can't understand that a handjob or any erotic touching, all by itself, is *not* cheating. Lying and breaking promises? Cheating. Blowjob? Not cheating.


@Kels01: "If it's so harmless then why won't they allow us to do the same thing to other men?"

Again, "allow" doesn't enter into it. You're not a slave or a possession, do what you want. Accept responsibility for your own actions, like I do. It's much easier than kowtowing to some nebulous "they" who probably doesn't even exist.

Perfect summation, george.

WOW, ok i DO come from a different country so my views are a lot different to what the majority of people on this forum believe.

SORRY TRIXXI but since you are one of the FEW female's on this planet that side with the men and support them in having sex with any "woman" they want while they are in a committed relationship( taking account what my dirty fiancee did) you won't and WILL NOT understand what a woman who is using common sense feels. The responses i have received are intellectually competent to YOU because you only live in open relationships therefore you can't see what's the wrong in what my boyfriend did but you can criticize me. I can see the truth behind all these responses very clearly ( i just don't agree with SOME of them). Sorry i don't give my man enough allowance and compassion, but i think the majority of women wouldn't either.

George-i really DO APPRECIATE your thoughtful responses, but i don't think my boyfriend thought of what the consequences would be since he didn't even know if he CHEATED. We are definitely not getting married. I will give him a second chance and try and make promises with him and then SEE if he keeps them or not ( although i don't know how long this will be going on for since he is away on business trips and probably will think he will get away with it.)I decided that in the meantime i can find someone else who i can get attached to, as soon as i will find someone like that i will dump my boyfriend and explain my reasoning's behind my decision. If someone can't see how being touched by someone someone else OTHER than your partner while keeping it in secret is cheating then they need to be taught a lesson in all seriousness OR just don't get in a relationship without telling the person what you do with other people ffs. I will take everyone's responses into consideration but i will NEVER forgive someone who is letting other women touch him in a sexual way and is thinking SHE will never find about it. These people think in a reckless manner and destroy other people's lives.

Sorry if my English was a little illiterate.

look and reread my responses, i never said that and i dont know how you could put your assumptions and misunderstandings on me

" i think its better to approach men with more allowance and compassion. even though men are sexually different they still are people who need to receive love, with love to give."

By this i think you mean that we should love men and allow them give them sexual freedom, i RESPECT your opinion but most women wouldn't agree to this condition.

"AMP offer same massage with happy ending available for less $ 4) most men like the economy and availibility of #3 5) on the bright side he didnt get a prostitute, he doesnt have another girlfriend and he was honest 6) "

i don't see a difference between a AMP and a brothel, both offer sexual services for money and therefore women who work in them are prostitutes, therefore he DID get a prostitute. Because men like them doesn't mean we have to agree with them.

" I think your General Comprehension Level is beyond the numerous intellectually competent responses you have received ... My advice is to get off the forums and live a little ... you are thinking in circles and not seeing the truth in the responses."

Either my English is not good enough OR you are saying that i should snap out of it and accept it that men are obliged to have more than one partner. There is no way in hell i will see the truth that SOME people see in what they are saying. If you want to live then i can't see a reason why you should hurt your significant other by visiting AMP's and strip clubs behind their back. Yes my bf felt guilty BUT he didn't realize what he was doing, and if it wouldn't be for my instincts i don't want to know what would have happened in the future.

Sorry if i misunderstood what you were saying.

well in a committed relationship,I do believe in not cheating. If the definition of not cheating is not going to amp,that would be easy since I haven't been to one in over 15 years. Now if the definition is never even looking at another hot girl or never being able to get a regular massage in a regular massage parlor, that would be too strict and. would never marry her knowing she would think I was cheating just by being human.

If I visited a strip club with someone I was committed to and a dancer came over and kissed me on the lips, I would hope someone wouldn't think I was cheating. I would not like it if some guy did that to my girl and I would definitely have a few words with someone who did so. I'm not in any committed relationship. right now though and am wondering if I ever want to be. I understand not wanting to worry about getting stds because your so could be cheating or not wanting your so to be emotionally involved with someone else or even to be looking for someone else to hook up with. If there is no sex in a relationship, I think that relationship may be doomed with enough time unless you are talking about being just friends.

@Kels01

Look I think you've made your mind up already. You asked for advice from an experienced group of men. They told you that more is available from escorts than AMPs on average, you rejected that deciding it was all prostitution so it doesn't matter.

Besides the fact the men above were right. Let me just put it to you straight. If you are this impossible to talk to on a topic on which you are ignorant why would you expect your boyfriend to try and communicate with you? You obviously aren't interested in hearing other people?

What answer would you want to hear for why he did it? Let's look at some options:
a) He was getting bored of sex with you and wanted a little variety?
b) You had refused him that day and he wanted to get off?
c) He considers this part of his life and doesn't intend to change for you?

What answer are you looking for?

____

Anyway you've decided to string the guy along and then dump the guy when a better prospect comes along. Which establishes that while extra marital sex bother you, dishonesty doesn't. As someone who has been married for 18 years... creating an environment of lying will do far more damage to a marriage then getting off with people other than your spouse. I think you've decided to learn this the hard way.

So we'll talk in 5 years before your second marriage.

Kels01: "I decided that in the meantime i can find someone else who i can get attached to, as soon as i will find someone like that i will dump my boyfriend and explain my reasoning's behind my decision."

Wow. And you are criticizing *him* for "cheating"? This is far worse, in my not even close to humble opinion.

If you don't have the balls, metaphorically speaking, to dump him now, whether or not you have anyone to replace him, you deserve everything you get.

I don't want an answer from him as to why he did it because he can't justify his reasoning i believe. I am not ignorant, i am always willing to listen and talk out things, but it's usually the man who has the communication problem. I think that the person who cheated has been dishonest FIRST so what i am doing is just showing him the pain and what it feels like to be on the down side. THIS THREAD HELPED A LOT BY THE WAY THANK YOU to everyone.

So from your PM, you're only keeping him around for his money.

There's a word for that. I'll leave the search for that word as an exercise for the reader.

Glad this thread was an eye opener for you, Kels01.
Sometimes the truth is hard to accept, but it is what it is.

I'm glad I didn't get involved in this thread!

It's a pretty bad train wreck, Club_Goer.
You're fortunate that you missed it.....if it is indeed over :-o

Sorry that you experienced this painful disappointment.

Cheating is very common, and there is no simple way to predict who will and who won't cheat. Men who cheat by having paid sex are less likely to want to leave their SO, compared to those who cheat by having "free" sex. But obviously that doesn't matter if a relationship for you required sexual exclusivity.

@Kels

You seem to be very young. You don't understand typical men at all, and you wish to mold your B/F into something he is not. This will not work.

In the long history on civilization, only recently has marriage become synonymous with sexual exclusivity. In the past, marriage was more of a business arrangement. The man made the money and provided social status while the woman raised the children, ran the household and was in charge of the social agenda.

Today in America and much of the Western world, this has changed. Women are also in the workforce in huge numbers while men are far more interactive with the children. But this has not changed men's attitudes towards sex.

Men enjoy the company of beautiful women. Paying for it is convenient because it compartmentalizes it away from the family. An affair is far more destructive than someone who frequents SC's, massage parlors or prostitutes, although most women in America would disagree with that. But men to frequent sex workers might be quite happy in their marriages. Men who have affairs are not.

You should break up with your b/f if you can't deal with his behavior. There are men who will be how you require; you can't force them to change. And your b/f needs a girl who understands his desires, or even is willing to SHARE them with him.

Men go to AMPs to get serviced. Reason wise, it's not much different than going to a strip club except that the service provided is different.

He's not going because he wants to step out on you, he's going because he wants service. If you're gonna get upset with that, then I imagine that you'll get upset with him jerking himself off, which is just self service. As far as your relationship with him goes from his vantage point, he's just getting service. I realize that this is a slippery slope, but as long as he's not emotionally stepping out in you and carrying in an affair, going to an amp or stripclub is largely about meeting physical needs.

Haven't seen you before Bellaco. Welcome to TUSCL.

I go to AMP's all the time. Been doing it for over 30 years. The most common service is massage concluded by an HJ. But I have no real interest in that. At most of these places the girls do FS if you want. GFE ( girl friend experience, meaning with deep kissing ) is not the norm, not at all. But if you can spin it the right way with the girl, it happens. So I always try to spin it that way and often enough it works. So it becomes a mind blowing GFE-FS hour, with DATY + FIV and BJ, and the girl lets it become more live a civilian date.

SJG