MY System; "The System"

Normally I'm so busy paying hookers for sex that that's the only thing that I have time for, but something I get a bit of free time. Like now. One of the things I like to do then is remind myself and others of what a generous genius I am. Hence, here is an old classic of mine for the rest of you to enjoy!

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The following is solely a portrayal of a fictional character and is provided for entertainment purposes only. Nothing in the following article should be construed as representative of any experience of, or activity conducted by, the author.

All too often, I read that it is difficult or impossible to find girls that will provide "takeout" in this city or that club. While there are indeed some clubs where it is difficult, for the most part this is complete crap.

The reality is that, with the rare exceptions of some small town, one-off clubs in the boonies, wherever there are dancers there is takeout. I travel extensivley across the country and I would estimate that about 35% of all dancers are open to it under the right circumstances, though the ratios may fluctuate a bit from city to city and club to club.

This is particularly true now when times are tough and these girls are not making what they used to. Many of them have kids to support, which makes the thought of an after-hours cash infusion that much more appealing to them.

Before we venture further, however, it is important to note that this is not for everyone. If you need to be "loved" by the stripper, are looking to make a long-term connection, or are just timid then move on. This is purely about how to get her from the club into your hotel bed, which is always something I am on the lookout for. I don't care about making any type of connection, nor am I really interested in wasting time in some crappy lap dance area, so if I think a girl looks good on stage then she would look great naked in my bed.

Now to the meat of the matter:

Remember that she is trying to sell something and so are you. She is trying to sell the fantasy, t&a, etc., in the hopes of eliciting cash from you. You need to be seen as someone who can feed her with cash. I always wear a nice suit (which I usually have on anyway when I am traveling), but I would imagine that other nice clothes would work. A good suit will make you well noticed in many clubs and opens up your options dramatically, particularly in the right clubs (more on that below). If you look like a bum then you are playing handicapped. Remember you do not necessarily have to spend like a heavyweight, just look like one. Also, when the stripper asks you what you do, have a good answer. If your job is less than special, then make something up, like a chemical engineer or something else that sounds "complicated" and "important." She won't know the difference anyway, but it will keep you on her mind as a source of possibilities (including cash flow).

Play it cool. NEVER sit at a stage - it makes you look desperate to see t&a. Sit at the bar or at a table if the bar is not available. If you are suited up then the girls will find you. When a girl that you like sits down, offer to buy her a drink and be confident, calm and friendly, with a warm smile and direct eye contact (remember you are playing the part of a friendly but sucessful person) . When the girl asks for a lap dance, I usually respond with something like "thank you for asking honey, but that's not really my gig." If she presses, I usually let her know that "I never handle my stuff in these places." If she is a pro, this will ususally prompt her to follow up with a question that leads to the right place. If she does not respond but stays sitting with you anyway for a while longer, nonchalantly give her something for her time (I usually use a $20) and feel free to take the initiative. When she says thank you I am ususally ready with something like " No problem - you have to make a living too. It's been good talking with you. I have to say that I also have every intention of trying to talk you out of here tonight." If things have been going well up to this point and she is open to it, then this will usually move things along. However, keep your eyes and ears open - if she refuses you outright or you are getting pleasant but noncommittal responses, then time to fold a bad hand and move her along. With the way you look, another girl will take her place soon enough.

Pick the right club. This stuff works in many places, but picking the right club helps a lot. A club with only a couple of girls working in it is not a good option as this can be a game of numbers. Also, if you are in a big city, stay away from any club close to the downtown business district as it will already have a bunch of suited guys trying to do the same thing - not only is the competition high, but the prices get high too. You want to find a club with a decent number of fair to good looking women that is frequented mostly by locals. Ideally you will be the only suit in a club full of hungry women :) DO YOUR RESEARCH.

Have your hotel close by and negotiate upfront. Your hotel should be no more than a few miles from the club. I usually try to pick a hotel near a few target clubs. The girl will not want to travel 20 miles out of her way in the dead of night, and this kill what would have otherwise been a good score.

Negotiate upfront and know your market. Work out the terms BEFORE you leave the club and NEVER give her money in advance, either in the club or when she gets to your room. If she insists on advance payment then let her know that it is payment after or you will need to move on. If she is serious about doing it then she will relent - if this is a deal breaker for her then you were never going to get laid anyway, just scammed. Also, know your local market. Short visits to EROS and Craigslist will usually arm you with the going rates in the particular area you are in.

Hopefully this is helpful and good luck!