joined February, 2014last seen December, 2014
RickyBoyDugan
Growing up my father was confined to a wheelchair and did nothing but complain bitterly about the injustices of the world. He was able to find fault in anyone and everything. I was consequently neglected, and dying to escape that world. Since he was too self-absorbed to love me, I was forced to learn to love myself. And really learn to love myself I did.
I wanted to show my always complaining father and really rise up in the world. In my early 20's I was on a bit of a roll doing it too. I was in the corporate world for some time. Unfortunately I was in way over my head. I guess if your motivation is getting back at your father but you don’t have the talents to go with it it’s just a matter of time. In the corporate world there were many people who actually were competent that called me down on my ass-clownery time after time. I had to accept that I just couldn't make it there and be Gordon Gekko as I planned.
During this time, I also married a psycho chick for a couple of reasons – First I thought it was my ticket into a rich family. A world I so deserved to be in. Also my lack of understanding of other people, since I always only think about myself, meant I couldn't really tell she was crazy anyway until it was too late.
Things ended in disaster on both fronts. It was hard times for the RickyBoy, but I pulled out of it. First I started a small snake-oil sales business. Through accounting tricks I defraud the company, using what little revenue we do generate to pay for my strip club adventures. If anyone ever realized how badly in debt we are...
But I'm getting a bit off track here. As I was saying, after my bad luck during my 20s the next 10 years were much better. I solved a problem that has challenged great minds for centuries - i.e. how to pay hookers for sex. It was complicated, but mine is a genius mind, so I finally zero'ed in on the solution. You see it's all about being the only one wearing a suit in a dive club. Amongst all the different suits out there the white three-piece polyester suit is my favorite since it best suits my personality. It so impresses the hookers that they want to have sex with you. Sure you still have to pay, but don't you know hookers, contrary to popular myth, really are very selective in who they have sex with. So if you do manage to have sex with a hooker, even if you have to pay, it proves you are a RICH STUD.
Since I only care about myself I routinely drink and drive and put my wife at risk of STDs and cervical cancer via BBFS with strippers. As far as drinking and driving goes – well the legal limits are ridiculously low and a real man like me knows I can handle much more.
I've come to realize that I have personality damage and have admitted this openly on the board. Actually it's a personality disorder, but I figure by changing one word I can throw others a little off track. I do know exactly what the disorder is, but when others calls me out on it, I lie and say "that's not it". I just like to fuck around that way.
My other big thing is constantly contradicting myself. Sometimes in as little as the space of one paragraph. There are a couple of reason for this. First it's partly biological for guys with my personality damage. Secondly I have too much contempt for others to think they will catch on - I know my charm and considerable wit will allow me to tap dance my way out of any situation.
Finally, lately, I've been getting involved in market predictions. My analysis has a nearly perfect negative correlation with what happens in reality, so just do the opposite of what I say and you'll be fine. Things really OUGHT to work the way I think which is what really matters right not what happens in reality? And one day they will too. Right after the SEC gets on the people who manipulated the market just to make me look bad.
So that's me. I am. I am. The RickyBoyDugan!
