tuscl

10 things about Rachelmmm

Monday, December 2, 2013 8:05 PM
I saw duo posted a little about me discussion a while back and I decided I'd do the same. 1) I've been dancing for almost two months. 2) I'm not 21 so I'd never been in a strip club before my audition, and I've never been to any clubs besides the one I work at. 3) I auditioned on my birthday. It was awesome. 4) I'm a full time student. 5) I also work a retail job. 6) My parents don't know I'm a dancer. 7) Only my close friends know I'm a dancer. 8) I went to private Christian school. 9) My favorite shows are Breaking Bad and Mad Men. 10) People tell me I look like a particular celebrity all the time. It's flattering, but when I started dancing the house moms straight told me that I would go by this celebrity's name. At first it was pretty cringe-worthy but I've gotten used to it. I guess it's easier for customers to remember so I'm okay with it now. Part of me still hates it though. I might change it in the future. Ask me anything! I'm procrastinating

65 comments

  • Clackport
    11 years ago
    The obvious question is which celebrity do you look like?
  • Alucard
    11 years ago
    Are you rebelling against your upbringing? WHY dance? Will you do EXTRAS? DON't get trapped in the Spider's WEB of the Stripper life.
  • GoVikings
    11 years ago
    You're a full time college student, a dancer AND you have a retail job? How can there be enough time in the day. By the way Rachel, your pictures are fantastic!
  • Dougster
    11 years ago
    Breaking Bad was an awesome series.
  • Dougster
    11 years ago
    @rachel: who was your favorite character in Breaking Bad?
  • SlickSpic
    11 years ago
    Please don't tell me your stage name is Carrottop.
  • Papi_Chulo
    11 years ago
    1) As Alucard mentioned – why did you become a dancer – purely for the $$$ - if for the $$$ did you need it bad or just liked having the extra cash/income – if not for the $$$; was it for the “thrill” for lack of a better word (do you have some “bad girl” in you) 2) what are your stats (height; weight; bust; waist; hips) 3) at what age did you lose your virginity (assuming you’re still not a virgin) Any questions you don’t want to answer just ignore
  • Papi_Chulo
    11 years ago
    4) What are you studying or hoping to become?
  • carl95
    11 years ago
    "The obvious question is which celebrity do you look like?" Is it January Jones? My guess after seeing the hair in the second profile pic. (beautiful breasts btw.)
  • sharkhunter
    11 years ago
    I always wondered if dancers such as yourself worry about the parents finding out especially if they think they will disapprove and/ or threaten to cut off whatever funds they may be giving to go to college unless you quit. Maybe you're not getting any money from the parents. It sounds better than what at least one of my sisters went through. She was getting some money but it wasn't enough and she was going hungry on some weekends.
  • sharkhunter
    11 years ago
    Are you having fun dancing? Do you plan on doing it even after you graduate from college? Do you plan on keeping it secret from your parents their whole life? I never told my parents about the fact that I visit strip clubs. I understand not wanting to rock the boat with parents with a very religious background.
  • Rachelmmm
    11 years ago
    I started dancing for a lot of reasons. I have a scholarship and I could make enough money to support myself at my retail job but I literally had to work ALL the time. This was just enough to pay my rent and utilities without putting anything aside. I'd have to go straight from school and it was just the same thing every single day. I was really burned out of the mall environment and being around only women 24/7. Two girls I knew from high school were dancing at the club I currently work at and both of them were the opposite of what you would stereotypically think of as a stripper. I asked one of them about it and she told me how much money she was making and how she only had to work three nights a week. I could get help from my parents if I wanted but I know they have a lot on their plate (they're probably going to support my older sister for the rest of her life) and I'd rather not be constantly reminded every time they help me out of what a burden it is.
  • sharkhunter
    11 years ago
    If you don't mind answering, what is your average hourly or daily take home pay after all the tip outs and other tips, etc.? What's the most you ever made in a day or weekend? Feel free to skip if it's too personal or you are afraid someone you know will find out.
  • sharkhunter
    11 years ago
    Thanks for the answers. It's always good in my opinion not to be a burden on the parents even if they probably won't approve. I think you break the mode of what some psychologists think of people who strip. I always thought psychologists were full of crap forming a broad opinion based on a little bit of evidence. Then they say there might be exceptions. That would be like me saying almost all matter in the universe is visible because that's what I see. The truth is that most matter is not visible.
  • Rachelmmm
    11 years ago
    @Dougster - I always had a soft spot for Jesse and Gus @Papi - Measurements are 39-26-39 I was 16 when I lost my virginity I'm currently studying film and hope to become a screenwriter one day. @sharkhunter I'm having a lot of fun dancing. My life is so much more interesting than it was 2 months ago and I've met a lot of awesome people, customers and dancers. At first I felt pretty overwhelmed because I had no idea what I was doing (and I still kind of don't) but I've learned to really enjoy it. The main objective at my club is really to get VIP customers, and I've gotten much better at that. This website actually helped me a lot surprisingly. I don't plan on doing this for more than 2 years at the very most, hopefully less than that. I want to save up around 100k and then make a clean break and I'm on track to do that I don't plan on telling my parents as of right now. They're extremely religious and already think I'm being corrupted just by living in the city, so I don't want to worry them.
  • looneylarry
    11 years ago
    Ditto on the great pics. Love the black outfit--you'd hook me right away from across the room. The January Jones guess is a good one, or maybe even Marilyn. As long as your attitude is that the stripping money supplements the other job and that you will finish school controls, then you should be okay. But once you let it control your schedule and your income, then you will get sucked into the vortex and you will be wake up and you'll be 30 and worse off.
  • Rachelmmm
    11 years ago
    @sharkhunter Average take-home varies a lot. I've tried to set increasing goals for myself as I get better. For the first 2 weeks I tried to make at least $300 a night. Now I consider anything below $500 to be a bad night. Usually I can count on taking home $600-$1000 a night, but it's all pretty dependent on how long I stay in VIP. I want to consistently make $1000 a night and I'm working towards that. If for some reason I can't get a VIP at all it'll be less than that obviously. The most I've made so far in a night after tip out was $2800
  • sharkhunter
    11 years ago
    Does your college roommate know or does she think you're a vampire? :) One tip, don't go out and buy a new car until you graduate with another job or your parents might start asking where you got the money. You sound smart. I haven't talked to too many dancers who said they were on track to saving that much in only two years. Good job if you keep that up. You will dissapoint some guys though.
  • sharkhunter
    11 years ago
    I'm not sure what club you are working at, not asking, but I might add during the better tourist days at Myrtle Beach, I know a dancer said she made about $4k one weekend. Many dancers travel around following the money. I believe Saturday night was probably disappointing to some dancers in my area. The local college lost and the club was not busy at all. A bad night supposedly for some dancers is when they are still working late at night just trying to break even. Glad to hear that is not a problem. Thanks for the answers. It makes sense when I know some of the better looking dancers in my area ask for 20 to $25 per dance. I rarely pay that much.
  • Rachelmmm
    11 years ago
    I've noticed this too. Fridays and Saturdays often bring out women and college kids. They're fun but not great tippers. The most money I ever made was actually on a Tuesday and the majority came from one guy.
  • Clackport
    11 years ago
    "39-26-39" I love it! Nice ass pic by the way!
  • Club_Goer_Seattle
    11 years ago
    Rachel, Very nice of you to offer an "on line interview." You mentioned that TUSCL has helped you get more VIP customers. Care to explain?
  • sharkhunter
    11 years ago
    Yes nice pics! Thought of a new question. What's the weirdest thing you've seen in a club or have been asked to do? I've heard a number of weird and gross things. I was just wondering in only two months what you've seen.
  • Rachelmmm
    11 years ago
    @sharkhunter all of my roommates know and are generally really cool about it actually. @Papi I forgot to add my height is 5'6" and I haven't weighed myself in forever but I'd guess it's around 125? and thanks ranukam :)
  • Rachelmmm
    11 years ago
    @sharkhunter A couple of weeks ago this guy that I assumed was gay asked me to come dance for his group while I was on stage. He was wearing this really flamboyant paisley shirt that was unbuttoned pretty much all the way to his belly button and his chest was waxed and he just didn't look like the kind of guy I usually see in the club. I get offstage and he tells me he wants me to dance for his girlfriend. So I spread this lady's legs and realize she's not wearing any underwear so I'm like "oops!" but she just keeps her legs spread and scoots down in her chair, further exposing her vagina to the entire club. Then she points to this other guy and is like "this is my husband" and points to the guy that got me onstage and was like "that's my boyfriend." Then she starts rubbing her husband's crotch while I'm dancing for her (this is all on the main floor, not a VIP room) which I just kind of tried to ignore. Then her boyfriend leans over and starts fingering her while I'm dancing. I guess it just weirded me out since this was literally in front of everyone in the club and the bouncers somehow didn't notice. They tipped really well though and left right afterwards so I was cool with it. Also a black guy recently asked me if I'd be down to role-play some slave/slave-master's wife fantasy. I politely declined.
  • Papi_Chulo
    11 years ago
    LOL – that was a funny and interesting story
  • Briguy78
    11 years ago
    Mad Men is awesome. You have good taste!
  • sharkhunter
    11 years ago
    Good interesting story. I remember the first time a dancer on stage grabbed my hands and put one on each of her tits and held my hands there. I was looking around nervous afraid the bouncers would be coming over. I don't even know if they noticed because it wasn't the main stage. Then she said she had recent implants and her doctor said her breasts needed to be massaged. That was a great way to get me interested in a lap dance but I'm not sure if that move would be kosher in every club.
  • Essdub
    11 years ago
    Rachel, your pics are fantastic and you have the attitude to match. A beautiful girl that is intelligent and having fun dancing isn't all that common. Even if you feel like you don't really know what you're doing yet, your attitude and personality will come through for you.
  • jackslash
    11 years ago
    Rachel, thanks for giving us all this information. You're a smart, good-looking girl, and you can write clearly and grammatically. You have a good plan for dancing a couple years, saving a lot of money, and then getting on with your life. Don't get involved in drugs or heavy drinking at the club. That would derail your plan.
  • Rachelmmm
    11 years ago
    Thank you essdub and jackslash :) you guys are awesome! I didn't get a chance to respond to club_goer about how this website had helped me with getting VIP customers. Before I would approach guys and ask if they'd been, lay out the price and hope they'd go for it. This usually led to them asking what they could do to me back there and I wasn't sure how to respond without killing the sale. Now I seldom bring up VIP. I wait for customers to ask if we have private rooms and then I tell them about it. I tell them up front I won't have sex back there. I stress that it's not a matter of wanting to or not; I just don't want to jeopardize my job. I also stress what we CAN do back there much more than what we can't. A lot of times I'll spend time with a customer getting to know them and I'll present VIP as the best option if they want me "all to themselves" for the night. This way I don't have to go back onstage or to do dances for anyone else. The discussion post I made about private rooms definitely helped but a few members wrote me PMs and I can't tell you how much those messages helped me. Particularly, one member described VIP experiences as elongated foreplay. This took a lot of pressure off of me as far as guys wanting sex. Pretty much every message helped me in some way. I won't go into too much detail. I guess in a way you guys have been like a good luck charm. Like I mentioned earlier, I don't bring up VIP to guys often. Most of the time they'll approach me and bring it up or bring it up after a few dances, which rarely happened before I made this account when I'd just started :)
  • goodsouthernboy
    11 years ago
    What's yor favorite part of being a dancer, other than the money of course? I'll echo the appreciation on your posts and especially your pics. Wish we lived in the same area!
  • Estafador
    11 years ago
    If a young college guy came to your club and tipped sparingly but got a whole mess of lap dances (or V.I.P. whatever wasn't a tip and equaled $200+) would you still try to avoid him the next visit or would you actually look past his age and give him those favorable lap dances
  • Rachelmmm
    11 years ago
    @goodsouthernboy My favorite part about dancing besides the money would just be the opportunities to meet amazing people I wouldn't have been able to meet in any other line of work. The vast majority of the girls I work with are some of the most sincere and nonjudgmental girls I've ever met, and I genuinely believe I'll keep in touch with many of them even after I stop dancing. I also have met a lot of interesting men. Like I said, at my other job I'm surrounded pretty exclusively by women 95% of the time. I know for a fact I would NEVER get to meet most of the guys I've danced for in any other setting since most of them are much older than me, are traveling, or both. On another note, I'm also a HUGE sucker for high-end lingerie, especially anything from agent provocateur. Before I started dancing I couldn't bring myself to splurge on lingerie, especially if no one was going to see it. Being a dancer has allowed me to indulge this habit and not feel bad about. Hey, maybe I can even write that off of my taxes? lol (not really)
  • Rachelmmm
    11 years ago
    @estafador If a younger guy got a lot of dances from me without doing a VIP I definitely wouldn't avoid him if I saw him again. This actually happened to me this weekend. Of course, I'd rather do VIP but I'd definitely approach him at least to say hello.
  • mikeya02
    11 years ago
    Yes Rachel, you can write off your clothes, shoes, make-up, perfume, gas to and from, check it out.
  • Club_Goer_Seattle
    11 years ago
    @ Rachel: Thank you for the thorough response to my question. Very enlightening! However, to better understand how the situation is in your club, would you please describe your club's VIP room (ambience, prices, privacy, cameras, human supervision, etc.) ???
  • Club_Goer_Seattle
    11 years ago
    @ Mikeya: I'm not a tax accountant, but I've legally deducted things I've bought myself that were work-related, that my employer wouldn't pay for. In some professions, employees are forced to buy certain clothes or uniforms. Those are tax deductible. So, if a dancer needs to buy clothes, costumes, make-up, accessories for work, at least a reasonable amount or percentage of those purchases may be tax deductible. There was even a story in the news some years ago about a stripper that was allowed to deduct the cost of her breast implants. The matter went to court. The dancer explained that she intended to have them removed after her career had concluded. With that premise, the judge considered the implants as a "prop" for her work--perfectly legally deductible expense.
  • Rachelmmm
    11 years ago
    In my club there are a couple of different options for VIP. The following is for 30 minutes, double for an hour. 1) Executive room - $25 to enter, $150 to bring your girl back there. This is the only room is the club with a pole. It's semi-private and there will be bouncers at the entrance. There's a bar and televisions also. 2) The Lofts - $100 room fee, $150 to bring your girl, this is usually what most guys go for if they're in for VIP. These rooms are completely private, no cameras, bouncers, ect. They're small and cozy with usually 2 leather couches and a chair. The lighting is pretty dark and you get to choose your own music which is always nice. There's a coffee table that lights up different colors when you put your weight on it in every room. If you strike the bouncers as sketchy they may peep their head in once just to make sure all is well, but they usually don't. I want to say before a certain time of night the room fee is $50. I'm not positive. 3) The Penthouse - I wanna say it's something completely ridiculous like $500 plus $150 to bring your girl back there, but it may be slightly less than that. I've only been up here once and it was just a room with a big TV, big leather couches, and your own bar. Pretty similar to the lofts but larger. You will NOT be disturbed by anyone in this room. They keep a bouncer outside the doors to make sure no one enters. You'll be treated like a celebrity in this room.
  • Lone_Wolf
    11 years ago
    Rachel: Great posts. Thank you. Regarding exiting the profession in two years. Just food for thought here. I imagine the majority of burned out middle aged dancer told herself she would only dance for awhile then get out when she first started. There are few (almost none) professions where you can earn anywhere close 1k a day. It will be very difficult to walk away from that kind of income while still in your peak sexy years.
  • goodsouthernboy
    11 years ago
    Maybe I'm misunderstanding, but why would you pay to go to one of the rooms without bringing a girl with you?
  • Rachelmmm
    11 years ago
    I think the problem for a lot of girls you're referring to is that they enter the business with no exit strategy or it's the "only" thing they're doing (They don't have another job, they're not in school, ect.) It makes me sad to hear girls talk about how they're hoping to meet an old rich guy to provide for them. I never want to be in the position where I need to be "taken care of"; I want to take care of myself. I think this has a lot to do with the fact that my parents have an extremely unhappy marriage, but my mom would never leave my dad because she's so dependent on him financially. (TMI sorry) I also hear a lot of girls talk about their future plans traveling with their SDs or guys they've met in the club to an exotic location or on his yacht, ect. Even though I'd love to travel and I plan on doing it, I hate to hear that this is the grand plan some of these girls have for themselves if/when they get burned out of stripping. I want to use stripping as a stepping stone so I can live more comfortably in the future. I've saved all the money I've made so far (besides the occasional lingerie shopping spree) and still live pretty much the same as before I started dancing. I want to put my money towards something that can really benefit me in the future. I just haven't decided what that is yet.
  • Rachelmmm
    11 years ago
    @goodsouthernboy some groups of guys like to go in to the E room without bringing a girl because it's a little less hectic and the seating is more comfortable than on the main floor. There is usually one or two girls that dance on the pole in there; that's the only pole in the whole club. You wouldn't go into either of the other rooms without bringing a girl though.
  • gawker
    11 years ago
    Rachel - very interesting thread and lovely pictures. I'm 68 years old and generally enjoy strip clubs for the fantasy. However, I've found many dancers will fulfill my fantasies for the right price, while others are great fun and beautiful to look at, but draw the line very clearly. I understand and respect when the line is drawn, but wonder if in your experience, the line may waver from time to time. Are there regulars who tip well where limits might be stretched from time to time?
  • canny
    11 years ago
    Strippers can deduct a lot of their expenses as legitimate tax deductions. But that would require them to report their income and I'm pretty sure that few, strippers report their income from stripping on their taxes.
  • Rachelmmm
    11 years ago
    @gawker for me having sex in the club, no matter what the price, is a no. It's not worth jeopardizing my job over, and if you were to get caught you'd forever be that girl that got caught sucking dick or getting fucked in VIP. Like I mentioned earlier, my parents don't know I dance and I tend to think of crazy hypotheticals if I were to go through with it. (the guy being a cop, getting kidnapped/murdered, ect.) I'm also pretty paranoid about casual sex in general so at this point I don't see it happening. The only time the line my waiver is if I'm already attracted to the guy and decide to meet him OTC. If I do that though, I don't intend to get paid for anything that might happen.
  • Rachelmmm
    11 years ago
    @canny I've heard fellow dancers say they don't file taxes, but that just seems like a really bad idea in my opinion. No one at the club knows exactly how much you make, but there is documentation that you're employed there.
  • Papi_Chulo
    11 years ago
    Other TUSCLers have commented that they know dancers that file taxes but they only state a fraction of what they make. This is probably a good idea since they can be obtaining Social Security credits by being employed. Also, many dancers get money back during tax season especially if they have dependents/kids – so they may actually come out ahead if they declare a smallish amount.
  • Rachelmmm
    11 years ago
    Papi, that's pretty much what I was planning on doing. I wasn't aware of the Social Security credits though. Someone else told me it would also help that I'm a full time student?
  • Club_Goer_Seattle
    11 years ago
    This is one of the best TUSCL threads, ever! A great subject matter, and well-appreciated responses. Keep it up folks!
  • Papi_Chulo
    11 years ago
    Rachel, IDK much about taxes and I’m not a student nor a dancer :) – but I’m sure some on here can give some feedback and I imagine being a full-time student would def help w/ taxes. Try to find a descent accountant and see how to best work your situation to your advantage.
  • georgmicrodong
    11 years ago
    If you are employed, the income you report is used to calculate your eventual Social Security benefit. The more you make, to a limit, the more you'll receive when you start drawing SSI. Not only is the yearly amount important, but the total lifetime amount is important, as well as how many years you've been "contributing", so the earlier you start reporting income, the better. The downside is you have to pay more taxes, and so have less disposable income. As well, if you're an "independent contractor" type of dancer, then you're legally self-employed, which means that not only do you pay the employee portion of your income tax and FICA (Social Security), you have to pay the *employer* portions of those as well, since your "employer", the strip club is not doing so. So that increases your tax burden even more. Not only that depending on your status as a self-employed worker, you may have to pay taxes quarterly, and in advance. And don't under *or* over-estimate your quarterly payments, because there are penalties involved for either one of those. Quite a scam, eh? If you're going to go that route, make sure you get a tax accountant. :) The downside of not paying taxes is the possibility of getting caught, of course, and short of storing it in a safe in your home and only using it on consumables, it's becoming harder and harder to spend large amounts of cash without raising the suspicions of the IRS.
  • Papi_Chulo
    11 years ago
    Geez gmd – you sound like you work for the government or IRS. I’m sure you already scared the shit out of Rachel. Don’t worry Rachel – almost all folks that get paid in cash hardly ever declare everything – it’s kinda like an understood loophole – as has been mentioned – just get a good accountant and follow his/her advice. One needs to take advantage of every angle possible when it comes to taxes – if not you’ll get bled to death by our not so favorite uncle.
  • georgmicrodong
    11 years ago
    Papi: "you sound like you work for the government or IRS" Not at all. In addition to a "regular" job, I'm self-employed. :)
  • Rachelmmm
    11 years ago
    I do fall into the independent contractor category on this one unfortunately. I've only had to file taxes once before for my retail job and my parents pretty much did the whole thing for me. So I guess I'll be looking into hiring someone to help me with this *sigh*
  • yndy
    11 years ago
    Hi Rachel- As Jackslash said, you write well (and pose even better). If its not too personal, what are you studying in school?
  • sharkhunter
    11 years ago
    I believe monthly health care premiums will cost more the more income you report unless you are still covered by your parents insurance. I've heard about dancers reporting a large amount of their income in order to qualify for a mortgage for a house. Then they had to pay a lot higher taxes. I'm not sure how that worked out.
  • jackslash
    11 years ago
    Rachel, as a student you have several tax deductions or tax credits you can take. As an independent contractor (entertainer), you can reduce your taxable income by all business expenses, as Hotstuff says. You may want to consult a tax expert the first time you prepare your taxes so you can take advantage of all the deductions available to you. There are many paid tax preparers but there are also some free services that may help you, like AARP tax aid. Some dancers, I've been told, do not report all their income to the IRS.
  • 23cambyman
    11 years ago
    what is your favorite sexual position and what is your favorite food to eat?
  • sharkhunter
    11 years ago
    When are your Finals over with?
  • Club_Goer_Seattle
    11 years ago
    @ yndy: In the 16th post, Rachel mentioned: "I'm currently studying film and hope to become a screenwriter one day."
  • GoVikings
    11 years ago
    Maybe I'm alone on this, but I'm still amazed/impressed that you can go to school full-time, dance AND work a retail job without having a nervous breakdown. I understand that some people can handle more on their plate than others. I have a friend who worked 30+ hours all 4 years while he was in college and finished with a 3.6 grade point average. But he's one of those naturally smart people who doesn't have to put a lot of effort/studying in to do well. Maybe you're one of those people, too. I just know from experience that when you go to college as a full time student, it's just like having a full time job. You've got to go to class, spend countless hours studying outside of class, do research and group projects. ALL things considered, it's just extremely time consuming. On top of that, you dance 3 days a week AND work a retail job. Your two jobs put together probably equals one full time job. And we haven't even gotten to the fact that everyone needs a social life/time to do what THEY enjoy doing. I gotta give you props Rachel- I don't know how you do it.
  • ilbbaicnl
    11 years ago
    I don't see how it make sense for you to have a retail job when you're making so much dancing. You should concentrate on studies I would think. You can tell your parents you got a different job or got a scholarship. Film is a very competitive major. Think about minoring in accounting. It would be useful in or out of the movie business. LOVE your pics BTW.
  • Rachelmmm
    11 years ago
    I won't lie and say I haven't gotten a little burned out this semester. I work Tuesday, Friday and Saturday. Wednesday and Sunday are the only days I'm really exhausted, and I just make sure to take a nap or go to bed early those nights. My school always comes first though so my social life has kind of taken a back seat. Next semester I've tailored my schedule so I only have class 4 days a week and my classes Wednesday start at 1 so I'll have more than enough time to sleep in. I also wanna change my availability at the club to Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. Tuesday is usually my best night and I've heard Thursday is good too. I just feel like I don't get a real weekend when I work Friday and Saturday, and both of these nights generally bring out a younger crowd. I've kept my retail job for a couple of reasons. I have an elevated position and if I for some reason want to apply for another where this experience would be applicable, I don't want there to be a gap in my resume. My parents know I have a scholarship but they'd still be suspicious if I quit my job. Another reason I'm reluctant to quit is because I get an amazing discount on lingerie. I'm not quite ready to give that up. And thank you ilbbaincl! I'm glad you like my pics. I haven't decided on a minor, but that's one I may consider.
  • looneylarry
    11 years ago
    Good tax advice from gmd, canny, Papi, et al. The only thing I would add is that if your deductions are so far out of kilter from your income, you might arouse suspicion. In other words, if you declare such a small income for your work but you write off a ton of expenses, their software may raise some red flags. But my guess is that the odds are on your side. A tax accountant could set you on the right path. And you look absolutely stunning in the photos. That is, if this is a legitimate poster and not some demented alter ego cooked up by one of our trolls. I would just have to check out the physical evidence first hand(s), eh?
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