When I first started dancing almost 2 months ago I told myself I would never meet with anyone outside of the club. I met a guy earlier this week though and I'm very attracted to him. We exchanged numbers and most likely are going to hang out some time this week. Most of the girls I've talked to that have met guys outside the club have a SD/SB situation happening and I'm not really into that concept.
ANYWAY I'm wondering what it was like for you guys the first time you met a girl outside the club
What did you guys do? Or if this is a regular thing for any of you maybe you can elaborate on some especially awesome or horrible experiences
As you mentioned, most dancers that do OTC is purely a business thing.
It is not rare at all that guys will want to take you out (date you) – but you must keep in mind where you met him and under what circumstances.
As you should know, guys often think w/ their penises especially when one is in a SC surrounded by naked women.
His sole motivation may be to just want to get into your pants b/c he was in, and met you in, a sexily charged circumstance/environment – that is why dancers and PL often just cut to the chase and do the P4P thing.
If you are not looking at it from a biz angle; then it should be like any other guy you would meet – i.e. go out to dinner etc. and get to know each other. If you are looking to get paid; then just be straight up.
First time was dinner, shopping and then bumping uglies at a motel down the street from the club. It was amazing and it was to be the beginning of a great and very expensive hobby. Most of my excursions involve some sort of shopping or dinner before or after sex. The only time OTC ever went south for me was when I got involved with a SB who wanted more than I was willing to give her.
@Rachelmmm, if you are going into this with some expectation that you are on a normal "date", I don't want to put a damper on things, but I suggest that you prepare to be disappointed. By all means don't *assume* it won't be what you expect, but don't be surprised if it isn't.
Every single solitary OTC relationship I've ever had with a dancer has been about sex for me and money for her, and both of us knew before going "out" that this was the point. In addition, with the exception of one person, meetups OTC were never about anything more.
Honestly, if I were you, I'd have a frank conversation with the guy, preferably before your "date", to make sure that it's going to be what both of you think it will be. If either of you finds out that your expectations won't be met, it's better to find that out *before* he picks up you and heads for the hotel room or you get your hair done special for dinner and a show.
Papi's right, you should decide up front whether it's business or pleasure, and make it clear to the guy. Sounds like you're thinking pleasure. I have taken dancers out socially, like to dinner or to see a band. There are even a few I consider friends on some level. But I would never consider dating them in a romantic sense.
I imagine you already thought of this and may have done so already; but you could post your question on stripperweb.com and see what other dancers’ experiences have been.
Most of the posters on this board; especially the OTCers; are old dudes so of course their OTCing is going to be all about P4P.
But as Doug said, you mentioned you were attracted to him so I would imagine he is not too much, or way, older than you.
People meet people at their work place all the time so I imagine it’s not unheard off for dancers to meet BFs in clubs (they have to meet them somewhere) – you should just be aware that dudes are horn dogs to begin w/ and many are just looking to get laid whether he met you in a SC or not (and maybe more so if he met you in a SC).
It should be as any other guy you meet – you go out and then gauge his intentions. But again; the fact you are a dancer may make him think of you as possibly promiscuous and just a booty call – but one cannot know for sure.
Ahhh good memories. I took her to dinner, she came back to my place and we smoked a lot of kush, and then I fucked the shit out of her. I'd like to think I took her body places sexually it's never been before, but maybe she doesn't feel that way :)
I liked her, but she kept blowing up my phone all the time so I had to drop her pretty quick. Looking back though she was probably one of the best fucks I've ever had.
I agree with everything everyone has said so far, make sure you're both on the same page on what the expectations are.
@Rachelmmm -- haven't done it. In a LTR so I don't cheat. Like to look...get a lapper...but draw the line at that. Like to joke 'bout more than that. But that's just a joke.
Sounds like you're in more of a date situation. Just be careful like you would with any dude you don't really know.
Just go out and see what happens babe. Not all guys at the SC are PL's. I have seen it go both ways. Go out have a good time. Have a little dinner and wine. See if you like each other Hun.
I like my OTCs to be a long party, punctuated by the sex at the end. That usually means eating, bar hopping, maybe going to a strip club together (one that she doesn't work at). All of the party time beforehand, I expect "for free" -- if I pay, it's for the sex at the end. Or, in other words, it may be a 4-hour OTC "date", but I'm paying only for the last hour. I say "IF I pay", because occasionally I see a girl and she doesn't charge me... when this happens, it's always because I've spent some time cultivating the in-club relationship. I choose to believe it's because she digs me and wants to be friends with benefits, but of course just as likely she's just occasionally throwing some OTC reward-sex to a good customer that she wants to keep exclusive. Either way, it works :)
I've had a 4 year relationship with a dancer which started out as pure business P4P but we developed feelings for each other and it went beyond that. There's another dancer I've met OTC but mainly just hanging out, Christmas shopping ( with me paying) and on two occasions we ended up in a hotel. The third dancer is my current fave and she never dates guys she's met at work, but we've met twice for lunch just to have a sounding board for our troubles - mine when I came to the realization that I was being fucked over by my ATF, hers when she realized her new baby wasn't fathered by who she thought. She has been clear as crystal that I'll never get the key to her bedroom, but I respect her and enjoy her company even when she has her clothes on. Were meeting for lunch next week when I'm giving her gather key to my condo down south so she and her current boyfriend can have a long weekend vacation there. She's a friend, who I fantasize about, enjoy, and am proud to call a friend even with no benefits.
That is the full range of options for OTC and you and he should decide up front what your meeting is to be.
I've exchanged numbers with a dancer who is interested in getting to know me outside of the club. I wish it were p4p but right now she doesn't seen interested in my money and even refuses to take my money for dances in the club. I just started clubbing earlier this year so I'm not sure what to expect; I don't know if it genuine or if its just SS.
Are you kidding us? A strip club as incubator of true love? You mention that you have been dancing for just 2 months. I believe that.
As for my first OTC venture with a dancer? My good friend, Mr. Wood was quickly probing the depths of her delightful pink clam. All subsequent OTC adventures have been similar.
Like a lot of you guys have mentioned, I don't think this will be a normal date just because of the setting we met in, but I'm also not trying to get paid for anything that might happen. And to farmerart, I'm pretty sure I never mentioned a strip club as an 'incubator of true love.' I'm 20 and working in a strip club. Obviously I'm not trying to get into anything serious right now.
But to everyone else, especially Papi, I really appreciate the advice! :)
My first time resulted in the dancer crying and me a bit ticked off because she wanted money for time but she said absolutely nothing about that prior to going out and not until later in the night. I initially refused. I think her crying got to me. I never paid another dancer money just for time again. In one way she did pay me back by providing half priced dances in the club but that was a deal she made with me later on. Her prices were lower than what I paid other dancers. However she must have wanted to do extra dances for me.
I like to make sure expectations are not way off before meeting up with someone unless the meeting is simply to discuss whatever. Maybe I'm jaded or too paranoid now. A couple of years ago one girl in a strip club approached me and said she wanted to take me back to her apartment so that I could do to her whatever I wanted. I was highly suspicious. Plus I just arrived at the club which was open several more hours and I just gulped down some beer before last call. I did not want to drive after drinking like that. I never saw her before. Maybe I did but do not remember. A dancer last night stopped me and said, you don't remember me do you? I did not. I think alcohol and time makes me forget everyone.
At one point I thought maybe I died and woke up in an alternate reality. So many people suddenly changed and were acting different. One girl did not even have breast implants anymore. Another suddenly lost like 40 pounds in only 3 or 4 months. It looked like she had never been fat. A couple of people who I never remembered seeing before acted like they knew me. Someone else who I had been friendly with suddenly acted a lot more distant.
Wish I could meet a stripper for a cup of tea and pleasent conversation outside the club. None of these gents here can help you because your version of OTC isn't listed in the guidelines on being a patron
Estie: "And their old men too, so...they forgot what it's like to actually DATE."
And then there is that psycho alutard seriously thinks dating in the normal sense and paying a hooker for sex are equivalent so uses the word dating to also describe the latter...
I went with my ATF for HER to buy the truck. I was just there to watch her back. I always felt, with her, I was a father figure. She was 20 when we met and I was well over 50. She asked my advice often, and on many topics. The most expensive item I ever bought her was a handgun. Luckily, she never used it to protect herself against me! :)
AS a younger man I meta woman OTC, but in a very non-traditional sense. Picked her up at her house at about 5 am; we drove to New Hampshire, climbed Mount Monadnock, had lunch. Smoked some 420 and a few beers on the way home which led to sex and we dated in this manner for about 18 months. She graduated, got a regular job and we both moved on.
If you like the guy and do not want a P4P relationship then you must feel him out and not give it up on the first date. If you want a sugar daddy be up front. He may be playing you for free sex. An acquaintance of mine used to chase after unobtainable girls for fun of the chase. He used to brag that he could get any available girl to give it to him for the cost of dinner. We were out one time clubbing and he got a stripper's number and told me later that he "dated her" for a couple of weeks and bedded her every time he met up with her and after the first date he just met her for sex. He never even got a private dance from her at the club. Knowing his MO he spent $50 or $100 on the first dinner to dazzle her then off to bed. He later just stopped calling and was on to the next chase. He has a separate phone for his "social network".
Don't go in with high expectations.
I am blown away that a good percentage of the responses are rational, allowing for the possibility that nothing is planned/expected that would get you arrested if you did it in the middle of a Waffle House at high noon. And the handful of responses that state that OTC is all about sex are measured by "that's how it is for ME (the writer)", not "that's how it is for everyone". Are the "my way or the highway" assholes finally leaving TUSCL? (Granted, I've had Dougster on iggy for years.)
Rachelmmm, it might be wise to get an idea of expectations, given where you met. He could be an idiot that thinks that strippers are only good for fucking. OTOH, the fact that you met in a SC may be irrelevant to him. That said, setting a specific agenda can kill all the fun. Most guys that go on a "regular" date are hoping for some adult fun at the end of the evening, but there's a thrill in the chase and the uncertainty. If he's still unsure if he's gonna get some, he'll have better table manners. :)
For you customers out there, if your expectations are low, it goes a long way if YOU make that clear up front. I never said "no sex", but I'd always couch my offer with words like "just" (e.g. "I just want to take you to dinner sometime").
The only thing that I would object to (in the rational responses) is the implication that us old farts only want sex out of an OTC experience; that we don't remember what it's like to date. Bullshit. None of my OTC's came with expectations on my part. In all of them, I had determined that I liked hanging with the dancer, that we had good conversation, and I wanted to spend more time with her at less than 300 dB. A nice bonus is turning heads at the restaurant as I walk in with a woman less than half my age -- you can almost *hear* people thinking, "How'd that fucker end up with *her*?"
I remember my first OTC like it was yesterday. I picked up my date in my Hot Rod Lincoln. She was looking keen and I was looking cool. We went for some pop at the drugstore. After that, we met up with Bobby Joe and his date, Betty Lou. We all convened at the sock hop and twisted the night away.
We ended the evening up at inspiration point where I think I got to second base. Not sure. By golly we had a swell time.
@tumblingdice yes because dating and building relationships is stupid. I'm glad we got these priorities settled. Since you're leaving it to the young bucks, stop stealing all the young woman sheesh
@LeeH Perhaps Lee, but the abundance of older gentleman here usually are there to pay for the sex. Nice conversation and good times is generally a bonus for the majority here.
@LeeH: "The only thing that I would object to (in the rational responses) is the implication that us old farts only want sex out of an OTC experience; that we don't remember what it's like to date. Bullshit."
If I wanted a date, I'd go out with my wife, which we do almost every week on a day where she doesn't work the next day. We do dinner, or a movie, or a play downtown, or we go down to the river and sit in the park and watch the water and boats go by.
I haven't forgotten what dating is like, and if I implied that I thought anyone else had, I didn't mean to. I just don't need "dating" from strippers. :)
I meet them at motel and fuck them. A stripper at Cover Girls I offered $200 to for otc is going to meet me Wednesday. She is 30 and really hott.
I only pay for services rendered. To me otc is about meeting a stripper and fucking her. I scored with my first one in 2004 and did her on regular basis for 3 yr.
A stripper that just wants go shopping is a ROB. As a strip club player I make clear to them that if we meet otc then I expect pussy otherwise no me gonna pay.
With gals from SD sites or Sugar Babies while I may meet them for dinner drinks the first date, the next date I expect fucking. Many of women I have met from SD sites want directly go to motel for sex. POP avg 100-150.
gmd, who said that I thought *you* were rational? (J/K)
I didn't have anyone in particular in mind -- I just read the over-generalization at least twice. But in looking back at your post, I see nothing there like that. So no need to mea culpa.
Rach it sounds like your parents did not let you participate much in the "normal" world, so you need to be very careful. Sadistic people prey upon adult entertainers because police and prosecutors will often brush them off when they are victimized. It sounds like your dad is a domineering person, so you may be attracted to domineering men, who are more likely to be sadistic. I don't believe in the double standard, it doesn't make woman a bad person if she wants to hook up on the first date. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't go slow for safety reasons.
I've never dated a dancer. I was friends with a dancer for a while but, for reasons I don't understand, she soured on me and didn't want to hang with me any more. Some dancers have gotten to know me well enough to do dances at my or their place. But we don't do anything we wouldn't do in the club (no "extras").
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There is no implied sugar baby relationship either.
It is not rare at all that guys will want to take you out (date you) – but you must keep in mind where you met him and under what circumstances.
As you should know, guys often think w/ their penises especially when one is in a SC surrounded by naked women.
His sole motivation may be to just want to get into your pants b/c he was in, and met you in, a sexily charged circumstance/environment – that is why dancers and PL often just cut to the chase and do the P4P thing.
If you are not looking at it from a biz angle; then it should be like any other guy you would meet – i.e. go out to dinner etc. and get to know each other. If you are looking to get paid; then just be straight up.
Is your angle biz or just pleasure?
Every single solitary OTC relationship I've ever had with a dancer has been about sex for me and money for her, and both of us knew before going "out" that this was the point. In addition, with the exception of one person, meetups OTC were never about anything more.
Honestly, if I were you, I'd have a frank conversation with the guy, preferably before your "date", to make sure that it's going to be what both of you think it will be. If either of you finds out that your expectations won't be met, it's better to find that out *before* he picks up you and heads for the hotel room or you get your hair done special for dinner and a show.
Most of the posters on this board; especially the OTCers; are old dudes so of course their OTCing is going to be all about P4P.
But as Doug said, you mentioned you were attracted to him so I would imagine he is not too much, or way, older than you.
People meet people at their work place all the time so I imagine it’s not unheard off for dancers to meet BFs in clubs (they have to meet them somewhere) – you should just be aware that dudes are horn dogs to begin w/ and many are just looking to get laid whether he met you in a SC or not (and maybe more so if he met you in a SC).
It should be as any other guy you meet – you go out and then gauge his intentions. But again; the fact you are a dancer may make him think of you as possibly promiscuous and just a booty call – but one cannot know for sure.
I liked her, but she kept blowing up my phone all the time so I had to drop her pretty quick. Looking back though she was probably one of the best fucks I've ever had.
I agree with everything everyone has said so far, make sure you're both on the same page on what the expectations are.
Sounds like you're in more of a date situation. Just be careful like you would with any dude you don't really know.
That is the full range of options for OTC and you and he should decide up front what your meeting is to be.
As for my first OTC venture with a dancer? My good friend, Mr. Wood was quickly probing the depths of her delightful pink clam. All subsequent OTC adventures have been similar.
But to everyone else, especially Papi, I really appreciate the advice! :)
I like to make sure expectations are not way off before meeting up with someone unless the meeting is simply to discuss whatever. Maybe I'm jaded or too paranoid now. A couple of years ago one girl in a strip club approached me and said she wanted to take me back to her apartment so that I could do to her whatever I wanted. I was highly suspicious. Plus I just arrived at the club which was open several more hours and I just gulped down some beer before last call. I did not want to drive after drinking like that. I never saw her before. Maybe I did but do not remember. A dancer last night stopped me and said, you don't remember me do you? I did not. I think alcohol and time makes me forget everyone.
At one point I thought maybe I died and woke up in an alternate reality. So many people suddenly changed and were acting different. One girl did not even have breast implants anymore. Another suddenly lost like 40 pounds in only 3 or 4 months. It looked like she had never been fat. A couple of people who I never remembered seeing before acted like they knew me. Someone else who I had been friendly with suddenly acted a lot more distant.
If you want to pursue a "normal" relationship with this guy, you need to consider retiring from the dancing business.
And then there is that psycho alutard seriously thinks dating in the normal sense and paying a hooker for sex are equivalent so uses the word dating to also describe the latter...
Clubber,
Do you like old fat guys? I will PM you my number. Maybe we can meet OTC sometime.
I went with my ATF for HER to buy the truck. I was just there to watch her back. I always felt, with her, I was a father figure. She was 20 when we met and I was well over 50. She asked my advice often, and on many topics. The most expensive item I ever bought her was a handgun. Luckily, she never used it to protect herself against me! :)
Don't go in with high expectations.
Rachelmmm, it might be wise to get an idea of expectations, given where you met. He could be an idiot that thinks that strippers are only good for fucking. OTOH, the fact that you met in a SC may be irrelevant to him. That said, setting a specific agenda can kill all the fun. Most guys that go on a "regular" date are hoping for some adult fun at the end of the evening, but there's a thrill in the chase and the uncertainty. If he's still unsure if he's gonna get some, he'll have better table manners. :)
For you customers out there, if your expectations are low, it goes a long way if YOU make that clear up front. I never said "no sex", but I'd always couch my offer with words like "just" (e.g. "I just want to take you to dinner sometime").
The only thing that I would object to (in the rational responses) is the implication that us old farts only want sex out of an OTC experience; that we don't remember what it's like to date. Bullshit. None of my OTC's came with expectations on my part. In all of them, I had determined that I liked hanging with the dancer, that we had good conversation, and I wanted to spend more time with her at less than 300 dB. A nice bonus is turning heads at the restaurant as I walk in with a woman less than half my age -- you can almost *hear* people thinking, "How'd that fucker end up with *her*?"
We ended the evening up at inspiration point where I think I got to second base. Not sure. By golly we had a swell time.
If I wanted a date, I'd go out with my wife, which we do almost every week on a day where she doesn't work the next day. We do dinner, or a movie, or a play downtown, or we go down to the river and sit in the park and watch the water and boats go by.
I haven't forgotten what dating is like, and if I implied that I thought anyone else had, I didn't mean to. I just don't need "dating" from strippers. :)
I only pay for services rendered. To me otc is about meeting a stripper and fucking her. I scored with my first one in 2004 and did her on regular basis for 3 yr.
A stripper that just wants go shopping is a ROB. As a strip club player I make clear to them that if we meet otc then I expect pussy otherwise no me gonna pay.
LOL!
I didn't have anyone in particular in mind -- I just read the over-generalization at least twice. But in looking back at your post, I see nothing there like that. So no need to mea culpa.
I've never dated a dancer. I was friends with a dancer for a while but, for reasons I don't understand, she soured on me and didn't want to hang with me any more. Some dancers have gotten to know me well enough to do dances at my or their place. But we don't do anything we wouldn't do in the club (no "extras").