tuscl

Miami Bound

Saturday, November 23, 2013 9:27 PM
It turns out I have a son in the USA. On his 18th birthday his mum told him about me and now he wants to meet. Always open to bribery I decided to come when his mum and step dad contacted me with the news and offered to pay for my airfare and hotel if I would visit. I intend to experience some strip clubs and I'm anxiously looking forward to some hot blooded Latin putas. Wondering if there is anything left of the famed Miami Vice era. Are the clubs still drug fueled or are those days gone? I plan to go upscale on day one looking for the best Miami has to offer and I don't want to see any old, fat or ugly women. Is the talent at Tootsies or Scarlett's true top-quality or are they just run of the mill slags? I'd also like recommendations for follow on clubbing in neighborhood pub type strip clubs where I can have a few relaxed pints while getting friendly and chatting up a bed warmer for the night. Do such strip clubs exist or are they all just corporate flash establishments? I should also ask about strip club etiquette in the States but I won't do it correctly regardless. Cheers.

12 comments

  • Alucard
    11 years ago
    Ask Papi. "I should also ask about strip club etiquette in the States but I won’t do it correctly regardless" Why ask?
  • jackslash
    11 years ago
    I visited Miami earlier this year, and I enjoyed both Tootsie's and Scarlett's. Scarlett's is a smaller club with very hot dancers. Tootsie's is the largest club I have ever seen. I would say the average dancer in Tootsie's is not as hot as the average in Scarlett's, but Tootsie's has over 100 dancers. You should find some you like. The two clubs are only about 5 miles apart, and so you can easily visit both. During the day, they have no parking or cover charges.
  • sharkhunter
    11 years ago
    As far as etiquette, I would suggest not saying anything specific about your night time fun to those paying your airfare unless they suggest strip clubs first. Your hosts could have a negative opinion about certain types of clubs and you could be shooting a gift horse in the mouth. I tell be relative I'm just going out to visit some night clubs if they ask without getting specific. Maybe they don't care. I don't know a thing about them. I just know some people have a negative opinion about certain types of clubs so I choose not to open that can of worms.
  • Clubber
    11 years ago
    You want upscale, then hit SOBE (South Beach). That's where the monied crowd parties. There are not any decent strip clubs there. One, Club Madonna, is a "stay away from" spot. That said, you should be able, if the cash flow is correct, get anything you wish in the other "normal" clubs. BTW, that is not an area I've visited, but it is common knowledge. And from what I hear, don't waste your time there till after midnight. Others may have more specific information. Enjoy your time here in S. Florida. Also, there are many "hot blooded Latin putas" most anywhere in the Greater Miami area. Just take a walk on SOBE in the afternoon. Almost as good as a strip club. :)
  • Dolfan
    11 years ago
    Scarlett's is generally regarded as having the hottest girls the area. It is smaller than Tootsies, but its not what I'd call small. If you go in when its slow, they've got two fairly large area's closed off but as it picks up they'll open them up. It used to be very consistent with a number of freakishly hot dancers every shift. My experience lately has been hit or miss as there's been a few visits where the girls were very average. Like Jack mentioned, its a bit more of a clubbish feel. Also as mentioned, Tootsies is maybe 10-15 minutes from Scarlett's, and Cheetah Hallendale is within 2 minutes of Scarlett's, and seems to be picking back up these past few months. Tootsies is pretty big, and sheer numbers suggest you'll find what you want. It's also divided up so you've got the low end/high end feel in the same building. They've been cutting songs lately, prices for the girls in rooms can be a bit high, and you've got to be on the lookout for ROB's. At the same time, there's value to be had - just trust your gut and if you get a ROB vibe move on. Tootsies is the only one of these three where anything extra happens with any regularity. You'll have to arrange take out at the others. As far as low end goes, there's a bunch of black clubs and various dives. IMO, they're pretty similar. They've all got the dollar parade (which you won't find at Tootsies, Scarlett's or Cheetah) and most have hit or miss dancers with a lot of 6's and the occasional diamond in the rough. I'm not that familiar with those joints, but if you move a very slight notch up I'd say Booby Trap or Pink Pony in Doral are probably the class of the middle of the road establishments, I've got a soft spot for Showgirls in Cutler Ridge too. I always recommend Tootsies, its not the cheapest, doesn't have the hottest chicks, etc - but its versatile, reliable, and easy for out of towners. There's probably better places if you can establish a bit of a regular status, but anyone can score at Tootsies. Proximity to Scarlett's is a nice backup plan as well. If neither of those work, another 20 minutes north of Scarlett's and you can hit Cheetah Pompano, Booby Trap Pompano, Diamond Dolls, Club Pink, Pink Pony Pompano, and Porthole Pub all within about 5 miles of each other. The Pompano clubs are all smaller and more laid back/local feeling than Miami. Its much easier for a non spanish speaker to blend in too.
  • SlickSpic
    11 years ago
    Pikey, I didn't know that I was part Pikey. Where have you been Pops? You missed out on so much! When we get together, we're gonna club like it's never been done. I'm gonna change my name to SlickPict.
  • Papi_Chulo
    11 years ago
    Good comments by jack - and Dolfan pretty much covered it. And as clubber mentioned; if you just want to hang and not necessarily do the SC thing; then South Beach is a good place to hang out and have a drink (several sidewalk open type bars on Ocean Drive).
  • IanSmith
    11 years ago
    Thanks all around for the excellent feedback. Sounds like Scarlett’s, then Tootsies and some time at SOBE. I’ll give both the Booby Trap and Pink Pony in Doral a go and then take it as it comes. And SlickSpic just fair warning but if you can’t live up to the pikey family genes I’ll cut you and take my DNA back.
  • IanSmith
    11 years ago
    ^^^^^Cunt Fuck one sheep and they never let you forget. Fields Ave in January. See you there.
  • SlickSpic
    11 years ago
    @Pikey-No worries Pop. My scrapping skills are top notch.
  • Clubber
    11 years ago
    pike, vincemichaels (unseen for some time in these parts) used to come to S. Florida and we would club together when we could. Some of his post on here always reference SOBE and what it was like. You might check them out.
  • edak94
    11 years ago
    Try Booby Trap in Doral - about 10-15 minutes south of Tootsies. Just as nice as Scarletts but more "liberal" benefits.
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