God Bless The Dollar Bill

sinclair
Strip Club Nation
Traveling the world, you see that most countries only have paper bills for high denominations. Coins are standard for low denominations similar to a dollar or two dollars.

America has a very unique strip club culture where we can physically take a small denomination of currency and slide it right into a strippers g-string. For guys like me, I cop a feel as I make the deposit. You can also make it drizzle or rain. You can make the stripper pick up the dollar with her ass cheeks. You can make a stripper grab the dollar with her breasts. You can give the dancer an origami present. The list goes on...the dollar bill is so versatile.

The government has made several attempts to get us to switch to the dollar coins. Americans are stubborn and don't want to adopt them. A paper bill lasts about six months, then needs to be replaced. A dollar coin would last 30+ years. A full switch would amount to a cost savings of something like $4.5 billion over thirty years. With the way our government is bankrupting our country, I wouldn't be surprised if at some point a more draconian attempt to make this switch arises. It will inherently change the American strip club culture. Leave the nontipping culture/loonie toss to those faggot Maple Leafs.

God bless the dollar bill.

22 comments

Latest

SlickSpic
11 years ago
You can't snort coke with a dollar coin.
zipman68
11 years ago
In China there are bank notes for jiao (1/10 of the yuan, the basic unit). 1 yuan was less than 10 cents when I was last there. Talk 'bout bills with low denominations...

On the other hand, I didn't even get to check whether there were SCs. SO was along for the trip...
Clubber
11 years ago
sinclair,

If they ever outlaw the bill, dancers have a ready made slot into which coins could be deposited. :)
SlickSpic
11 years ago
Clubber, you clever man.
shadowcat
11 years ago
Clubber - I once saw two guys jamming up that slot with dollar bills. I left the club after that.
farmerart
11 years ago
I sure don't miss those old rags that used to circulate in Canada but I don't think much of the loonie, either.

I like the toonie much, much better. Can't wait for the finnie; I have already chosen the nickname for the future $5 coin in Canada.

However, I just received my first plastic $5 in change; perhaps we will never have a finnie. We now have all-plastic currency in Canada. Some paper is still circulating but it will quickly disappear. You never see a paper $50 or $100 now and barely a third of the $20s that go through my hands now is paper.
Clubber
11 years ago
sc,

I wonder how those $'s would be listed on "Where's George"? :)
SuperDude
11 years ago
Too many coins overload and tear pants pockets. Jangling noise with every step. Pop machines, parking meters, grocery store self check-outs and cigarette machines will have to be retooled if coins replace the paper $1 bill. Lots of resistance on that one. Will we have to redo the cash drawer inserts? Will people be told not to bring them to sporting events when drunk fans start throwing them at players? How do waiters, parking attendants, doormen and other service providers feel about being tipped with $1 coins instead of bills? Of course, it would be nice to have a piggy bank full of $1 coins for emergencies.
SuperDude
11 years ago
Plastic may work in Canada, but not the USA. The counterfiters are already causing the Department of the Treasury to change the look of large denomination bills almost every year just to stay ahead of the fake money threatening to flood our country.
SlickSpic
11 years ago
We just got new $100's and they already misprinted them.
Ermita_Nights
11 years ago
The US has never attempted to switch to dollar coins. Introducing a coin while leaving notes in circulation doesn't count.
Dougster
11 years ago
Speaking of Canada, they actually mint the coins for many countries of the world. Not the US's though. They've also developed some new techniques recently to lower production costs (such as using mostly cheaper metals but adding plates or layers of more expensive metals to make it look good), adding colors to coins and enhancing security via magnetic fields.

Maybe if the US decides to adopt coins one day they can outsource production to out friendly neighbors to the north with their coin production expertise?

ilbbaicnl
11 years ago
A tip jar would work for both coins and bills, and be more dignified for both dancer and custy. Juice and his followers could tip quarters then.
Club_Goer_Seattle
11 years ago
I prefer to swipe my debit card down a dancer's cleavage.
mjx01
11 years ago
The problem in the US is that the ONE (as in only) company that makes the paper for US paper current is politically well connected and bank roll several high profile politicians. They've always been able to care out protection for the $1 bill in the $1 coin attempts to ensure that the dollar would not cease to exist. (We make more $1s then anything else.)

The US should switch to plastic. Cleaner, and should be much harder to counterfeit. (Hard to keep you with North Korean state sponsored counterfeiting of US money.)

4.5 Billion over thirty years is chump change when you're spending 1+ Trillion (1000 Billion) more than revenue each year.
mjx01
11 years ago
carve (not care)
Papi_Chulo
11 years ago
I believe I heard Ben Bernanke make the same argument as sinclair :)

In all reality, a major change w.r.t. $$$ would probably be among the lines of most of the changes we’ve seen as of late; i.e. $$$ going in some kind of digital form and hand currency becoming obsolete or much much less common.

sharkhunter
11 years ago
If I ran a strip club, I would allow conversion of one dollar coins or even electronic money into paper club money, convertible back to real money at any time.

Anyone want to throw one million dollar bills at dancers on stage? I might add an ultraviolet band or red mark in the corner to make it easier to tell the difference between real money and club money. Maybe an ultraviolet naked girl dancing on a pole. A holographic topless girl visible in black light but not in regular light would be cool. You could show people club money outside the club and it would look pretty ordinary, but in the club, you would see tits and a girl swinging around a pole at the right angle.
ilbbaicnl
11 years ago
In five years, the world's reserve currency will be Shark Booby Hut Dollars.
Clubber
11 years ago
I just saw this weekend, one dancer had the little credit card reader plugged into her phone. Left it sitting on a small table she carried on stage with a sign to scan your card and enter tip amount.
SlickSpic
11 years ago
@Clubber-Too much info for a stripper to have.
Clubber
11 years ago
SS,

I hope you don't think I was serious.
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