Need CF Help
curiositycat
Ohio
I've been seeing my current CF for about 6 months. (I go to her club maybe twice a month) Lap dances and VIP two way contact is great and occasionally kisses (on lips, one DFK) but lately when I come to the club, she doesn't offer dances or VIP to me(she will other customers). For me all she does is sit right close by me and we talk between her LDs. If I ask for a dance she tells me to wait til near closing. I have her number and have met a couple times OTC as friends(most i've gotten are kisses) so I have to assume she would tell me. I just am wondering if this means she doesn't want to dance for me anymore.. i'm not hideous and I tip well so I don't really understand. Should I move on to another dancer? Or is this stripper shit to make me confused? Any advice would be appreciated.
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43 comments
Often times dancers (at least the non business-wise types) will take their regulars for granted once they have them on the hook.
Most likely she holds you off until the end of the night b/c she knows she has you hooked and you are sure $$$ - so she probably is investing her time with other customers since she knows/feels she doesn’t have to hustle for yours ($$$).
As long as you let her set the rules; you are going to be getting the short end of the stick IMO.
If you start getting attention/LDs from other dancers; she’ll probably show you more attention and more respect.
My statements are *not* irrefutable facts; just my 2 cents.
Also, just go ahead and ask her when you feel like getting dances from her. If she either says no (or not right now); or gives you uninspired dances – then you may want to seek someone else that will want to give you dances/attention.
JMO.
1) The OP SCs in San Diego – not the best SC experience from what I’ve heard/read
2) the OP’s profile states the following – “SCing for almost a year now..pretty sure I am addicted since normally i'm frugal as fuck on everything else. It sucks that you cant just discuss strip clubs with everyone since all they do is judge you for going..especially as a woman..so here I am..where I fit inâ€
i.e. the OP is a chick – don’t know if this changes the equation any?
@CC: In light of the new evidence... you need Lopaw's advice.
As for me being a chick..could be. She is Bi so she isnt freaked out by that..but maybe she just feels like giving men dances at the moment..I am bi too and go through phases where i only want women so I could see that
I seem to be perpetually stuck in that phase
I am not sure how there is a market for SD clubs when TJ exists. I realize people can be scared but it's really not that bad.
Maybe next time I come to SD, I can show you around TJ?
And pay attention to lopaw. :)
At first I chuckled at this but then I realized that looneylarry may be right. If you have not told her what you want then she probably doesn't know how to read you and is playing it safe with you. She can obviously get her $$$ from other customers in the club, so she has you on ice. I think that you need to be firm in telling her what you expect from her, whatever it is. She might simply see you now as a "friend". You may have become someone that she can chill with and talk to. It's often hard for dancers to really open up and chat up guys with personal info. I have been in your situation a few times but I made it clear to the dancer what I wanted and it worked out fine. The fact that both of you identify as bi and neither one of you is gay can make it even murkier.
And don't be intimidated by TJ. I've been there a few times and had my SKO by some amazing chicas down there. It's an experience that you won't soon forget ;)
@ curiositycat: Please do keep us posted on your progress on this subject. I find this fascinating. Glad to see Lopaw commented. Take note of her comments any time you see them.
Often subjects will repeat themselves on TUSCL after I period of time. When I see a "rerun," I have to decide if I'll make the same comment I did last time, or just pass on commenting altogether. This is definitely a new one!
I left you a PM. Check it when you get a chance.
@looneylarry: Yeah you might be right, I know she has tried to sleep with a friend of hers but it did not end successfully
@ibbaicnl: If that was the case, she seemed alright with it all the other times that she gave me dances/contact enthusiastically
@lopaw: Definitely see why everyone has been telling me to look out for your comment. I think about it more and think you are right. She is Bi but hasn't been with a woman yet, I have been respectful because I don't want to come across as only about sexual motives. I think I have been friend zoned, I guess I'll just have to ask. I am almost torn between asking, because i either find out i've been friendzoned, or she'll go back to dancer/money making mode to please me.
@3leggedman:ill start looking at my options for LD replacement.
@clubgoer:I hope to go this weekend..if she is there and I get the courage to flat out ask..I will come back and update..otherwise just assume I am still a PL chasing after her til I get tired or accept that she is just not that into me
Broadly speaking, society considers dancers to be victims and/or losers and/or trash. So most dancers are iconoclasts who care little about what society in general considers to be true or right. Iconoclasts open up to other iconoclasts, some only with those with similar thinking, some only with those who have an examined life worth living.
When dancers want you to think that you special cause your old, young, female, lesbian/bi, etc. normally that's part of a sales pitch.
wtf?
Pole tricks, you'll find some pretty talented dancers who put in more effort than American clubs, yes, and pretty much anything you could want (really good lap dances all the way up to sex at affordable prices) is available.
If you don't mind the friend zone, and she doesn't mind you getting up close and personal, or even intimate, with others, then at the very least you have a friend in the club that can point you to potential good dancers.
I wish I could be as much of a romantic as george :)
Zipman – if you read some of the earlier thread comments or the OP’s profile – OP is not a “bro†– OP is a chickie
Actually neither do 99.9% of the dancers IME.
I think the dancer may feel uncomfortable getting close and personal with a female customer? I’ve read something along these lines in some of the comments in stripperweb.com
Dancers rarely turn down $$$ b/c they want to be “friendsâ€. Not saying this is absolutely the case in your situation – just my 2-cents.