Boob Job Payback Period

jackslash
Detroit strip clubs
I was relaxing in the club with my favorite dancer Mandy and her blonde friend Kelly when another dancer, Memphis, stopped by the table to show off her new boobs. Memphis pulled down her top so we could see the results of the procedure. Mandy and Kelly immediately reached out and felt her boobs. For the sake of science, I felt them too.

Memphis said she had been in horrible pain for 3 days, but now after a week she was fully recovered. She liked the way her new boobs looked, and we all agreed that they appeared natural and in proportion to her body.

I took another feel to gauge the softness and texture, which seemed very natural. The taste, I am pleased to report, had no artificial flavor.

I asked Memphis the cost of her improved boobs, and she told me $6000. Her boyfriend, she said, had not wanted her to do it, but now he liked them. Her purpose for getting a boob job was to increase her earnings in the club.

I asked her how long she thought it would take for the boob job to pay off. She had no idea. So I quizzed her about how much more she expected to make in dances. Between $500 and $1000 a month seemed reasonable to her.

So her boob job payback period should be between 6 and 12 months. Assuming a 3 year useful life of these titties, she will realize a profit of between $12,000 and $30,000 on her investment. (For the sake of simplicity, I have not included any tax effects--but I am sure Memphis scrupulously pays her income taxes).

I also calculated the internal rate of return on her investment, which was much better than any investment currently available to me. I am wondering about getting into the business of investing in stripper boob jobs. I could make a large profit and improve the world at the same time.

12 comments

Latest

goodsouthernboy
11 years ago
That's a very philanthropic invesent scheme you have going there. Maybe we should nickname you "Carnegie" after you get this idea in motion
SlickSpic
11 years ago
"Carnegie"-Hahahahaha. A quality boob job should last 5-10 years.

@Jackslash-Did she get them through the belly button, nipple or underboob?
farmerart
11 years ago
I think I will stick to wildcatting, jack. Much more money up front and much higher risk but much, much, much higher return on invested capital with a successful well.
ilbbaicnl
11 years ago
Problem with the business plan: repos involving surgery are not legal and extremely messy.
crazyjoe
11 years ago
Tig ol bitties. I love rockey ford
Alucard
11 years ago
"but I am sure Memphis scrupulously pays her income taxes"

Right! LOL
Estafador
11 years ago
Or you can just become a plastic surgeon
Club_Goer_Seattle
11 years ago
Sounds like you've reinvented the pimp profession.
Ermita_Nights
11 years ago
Jack, it's not an investment, it's a capital expense. It doesn't pay anything by itself, but it makes the work more productive. More like buying a new front-end loader than buying index funds.

If a stripper was short of cash, could she just do one boob for $3K then use the earnings from that one to do the other one?
jackslash
11 years ago
@SlickSpic, she had them done thru the belly. I'm not sure how that works, but it doesn't leave any scars.
SlickSpic
11 years ago
Jack, I know how it works. I have a twin sister whose had the belly button job.
Papi_Chulo
11 years ago
^ post some pics of her LOL
You must be a member to leave a comment.Join Now
Got something to say?
Start your own discussion