Joke of the day
gawker
Older than dirt
Paddy is sitting on a train across from a busty blonde wearing a tiny
mini skirt. Despite his efforts, he is unable to stop staring at the top
of her thighs. To his delight, he realizes she has gone out without
underwear.
The blonde realizes he is staring and inquires,
"Are you looking at my vagina?"
"Yes, I'm sorry," Paddy replies and promises to avert his eyes.
"It's quite all right," replies the woman, "It's very talented, watch this, I'll
make it blow a kiss to you."
Sure enough the vagina blows him a kiss.
Paddy, who is completely absorbed, inquires what else the wonder
vagina can do.
"I can also make it wink," says the woman.
Paddy stares in amazement as the vagina winks at him.
"Come and sit next to me," suggests the woman, patting the seat.
Paddy moves over and she smiles and asks,
"Would you like to stick a couple of fingers in?"
Stunned, Paddy replies, "You're kidding—you mean it can whistle, too?â€
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A Man asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an unusually
attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a cozy little restaurant.
So the waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, 'This is from
the gentleman who is seated over there'..... and indicated the sender
with a nod of his head.
She stared at the wine coolly for a few seconds, not looking at
the man, then decided to send a reply to him by a note. The
waiter, who was lingering nearby for a response, took the note from
her and conveyed it to the gentleman.
The note read:'For me to accept this bottle, you need to
have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank
and 7 inches in your pants'..
After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of
his own in return. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter
and instructed him to deliver it to the lady.
It read:
'Just to let you know things aren't always what they appear to
be, I have a Ferrari Maranello, BMW Z8, Mercedes CL600, and
a Porsche Turbo in my several garages; I have beautiful homes
in Aspen and Miami , and a 10,000 acre ranch in Louisiana . There
is over twenty million dollars in my bank account and portfolio. But,
not even for a woman as beautiful as you, would I cut off three
inches. Just send the wine back.'
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