CELEBRITY FUCK

Rachel Ray. After we're done sweating out a pint of olive oil, she'll hook us up with a meal for under $40 a day. My kinda chunky monkey.

Paris Hilton. I like her looks, she is obviously into sex and has money. I would get ragged because of her public image.

I'm not sure that if I fucked any celebrity I'd be ashamed of it if I didn't have to pay for the privilege. I fucked a very well known British glamour/porn star in the 80's. Very few people I meet believed me at the time but it's true. I have a movie clip of her to remind me of her.

Corey Feldman

Who was the British chick? Samantha Fox?

Patricia Heaton

No, my conquest had a little more class than Sam.

LiLo

Julia Childes.

I was thinking LiLo for the same reasons Shadow picked PH.

Sharon Stone

George Stephanopoulos, What? Wait, no! no! that's from the "Who I'd like to FUCK UP list...Oh, hey! Here it is Chelsea Clinton! Yeah Chelsea Clinton because it would kinda be like fucking the whole Clinton family all rolled up into one pudgy little ball (although I have to admit the girl did finaly manage to grow out of her "butt ugly" phase and is not unattractive now).

Embarrassed because hey, even overweight old white guys have standards, right?

Other than Eleanor Roosevelt, not too many come to mind. As a kid, I jacked off to a picture of Jayne Mansfield and her daughter has a certain appeal, but nobody would give me shit about them.

Slick....

I hear you on Rachel Ray. I'm into love handles.

But the truly hot chef I'm into on the Food Network in Cat Cora. Meow! I miss her on the Iron Chef. Too bad she doesn't like guys because she is incredibly hottttttt!

Kevin James.

Would they have to be living, and no, I'm not talking necrophilia?

For me it would be Miley Cyrus.

My friends would tell me "you must be crazy to fuck that bitch."

Runner up would be Paris Hilton.

Pamela Anderson

Pam is Size Queen

Selena Gomez is starting to look good to me. Is she still jailbait?

Salma, Salma, Salma, or perhaps Sung Hi Lee.

Lucy Liu

Wendy Williams. I had heard the name but I had no ideal who she was until this week. i was sitting alone in my hotel room in Chicago with nothing to do (no good SCs in Chicago). I flipped thru the TV channels and came upon the Wendy Williams show. Boy, she has some big soft-looking tits!

Cat Cora, Giada, Nadia G., they got some cuties in the kitchen. I got an idea for a show-"Pregnant and Barefoot In The Kitchen". Hollyweird, here I come.

Will smith

Tina Fey in the ass.

Ann Coulter