Direct & Inverse Axioms
minnow
Any place that interests me.
1month down, 2 mos of winter to go, so, time to take a "tongue in cheek" stab at various SC axioms. I offer the following 1) The likelihood of waitress showing up with your drink order is inversely proportional to how stongly you want(need) your drink 2) The likelihood of being interrupted by waitress inquring about drink is directly proportional to fullness of present drink, stageside mileage, AND attractiveness of dancer ABOUT to give you said mileage. 3) The length of the line outside club is directly proportional to the length of time since last club visit . 4) Dancer attractiveness and/or mileage is inversely proportional to cash in your pocket. 5) Likelihood of your ATM network computer system going down is directly proportional to your desire to get cash from ATM.
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31 comments
31) The uglier the tennis player, the hotter, more stripper-like his girlfriend in the stands will be.
30) The amount of contact allowed is directly proportional the to distance to the nearest major university.
24) The cost of the beer is proportional to the size of the club.
And my favorite: 25) the friedliness of the dancers (or anyone else for that matter) is proportional to your distance from New York City.
I suppose I could add that the number of minutes to closing time is directly proportional to the attractiveness of the dancer you are getting your lapdance from.
6) Percentage of boob jobs is directly proportional to the amount of neon in the room.
7) Average number of tattoos on strippers is inversely proportional to the value of precious metal in club's name.
8) Likelihood of mensroom being out of paper towels is directly proportional to your need to wipe your hands.
9) Number of TV screens is inversely proportional to there being anything to watch.
10) Number of DJ interruptions is inversely proportional to his having anything to say.
12) How strongly attracted you are to her is directly prortional to how many beers you've had.
13) You are most likely to spot the girl you find most attractive in the place immediately after you've committed to spending time with another girl.
14) The odds of a girl's regular customer arriving are highest when you've decided from a distance to ask her to join you but haven't yet done so.
15) The closer you get to the club the more likely your SO is to call just to say hello.
16) The closer it gets to the time you have to leave, the more likely you are to finding that once-in-a-lifetime spectacular.
17) The further away from home you get the better the clubs are.