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The Case of the Missing Stripper

Avatar for jackslash
jackslashDetroit strip clubs

I'm faced with a mystery. When I left my home this morning, a stripper was asleep in my bed. When I returned, she had disappeared.

I had left her sleeping peacefully at 7AM, and when I called around 1PM, she was still in bed and sounded groggy. I told her I would be back by 5:30 to drive her home.

But when I pulled into my garage and walked upstairs calling "Christie," I heard no response. My bed was empty except for a tangle of sheets and blankets and a pair of pink and white panties. Where was she?

I searched the house. Her iPhone, purse and joints were gone. My iPad, MacBook and TV were still there, so she hadn't robbed me. Christie is my ATF and considering the amount of money I spend on her, it would be very short-sighted to rob me. Of course, strippers are often short-sighted.

She had not left a note. I found some dirty dishes in the sink, revealing she had eaten lunch. I checked the front door. The dead bolt was open but the spring lock was locked, so she had gone out that way. Someone must have picked her up.

I phoned her and texted her, but she has not responded.

So where is she? Lying drunk at home? Lying drunk in a motel? Lying dead in a Detroit drug house?

The mystery continues.

Comments

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Avatar for JuiceBox69
JuiceBox69

Dude chill happens to me all the time....she is a zombie now

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Avatar for Club_Goer_Seattle
Club_Goer_Seattle

It's only been a day for you so far, so I wouldn't start drawing conclusions until you're actually able to talk to her about it.

Dancers are notorious for being unpredictable, unreliable, unconcerned about others, even the "hands that feed them." I had a former long-time fave show similar lack of concern when she felt it was time to kick me out of her life. If this were my situation, and she didn't have an adequate explanation, once I could speak with her, I'd just dump her and go on to another. I don't have any tolerance for flaky dancers.

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Avatar for Doc_Holliday
Doc_Holliday

This happened to me with the second I ever fucked. Except around $350 out of my dresser and some DVDs/XBOX games also walked out the house.

I guess you could say I did pay one stripper for sex.

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Avatar for carolynne
carolynne

ur just lucky u didn't come home and find her boyfriend asleep in ur bed with her.

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Avatar for Alucard
Alucard

You're fortunate you weren't robbed. Where did she go? I suppose somewhere else where she'd much rather be.

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Avatar for Doc_Holliday
Doc_Holliday

Shit I don't know if carolynne's boyfriend is dumb or just sweet, considering every week she claims a different regular's pad as her own...

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Avatar for Doc_Holliday
Doc_Holliday

I mean, he has to wonder why she has both a beach house in Malibu and a trailer in Compton.

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Avatar for carolynne
carolynne

huh???

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Avatar for motorhead
motorhead

"I found some dirty dishes in the sink"

She ran out to Wal-Mart to get a bottle of Dawn.

She came back, but before she could do the dishes, she spied the Stueben crystal egg on your mantle. Proving the old adage, "you can take the stripper out of the club, but they will always be lying, thieving, whores", she took the egg and headed to the nearest pawn shop.

Moral of the story: buy a dishwasher

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Avatar for Alucard
Alucard

Different moral - Don't leave a dancer alone in your home.

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Avatar for staxwell
staxwell

Jacklash, I can decide who I want to be like more when I grow up, you or the Shadowcat.

That's some risky business, motor. Risky indeed.

Alucard, ...

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Avatar for jester214
jester214

I suggest you call the local authorities and inform them of this mystery, see what they can deduce.

Would make for an interesting phone call though.

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Avatar for crazyjoe
crazyjoe

Jester... what the hell are you thinking?

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Avatar for lopaw
lopaw

Have you checked behind the sofa?
Sometimes they roll back there.

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Avatar for staxwell
staxwell

LOL lopaw

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Avatar for Pablo Antonio
Pablo Antonio

My ATF once disappeared for 9 days. After frantically looking for her during those 9 days, I finally found her in a club on the other side of the city.

"I*******" I said, "Where have you been? I have been searching everywhere for you."

"Oh, I guess I forgot to call you." she said.

I had forgotten that dancers are like that, silly me.

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Avatar for TortillaChip
TortillaChip

Jeezus Pablo, unless you go to clubs evernite a 9 day "disappearance" is hardly concerning. Almost makes you seem like a stalker...

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Avatar for tumblingdice
tumblingdice

Crazy Janie and the mission man.

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Avatar for JohnBuford
JohnBuford

Perhaps she "got the calling" and joined the convent.Her new name is Sister Mary Bambi.

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Avatar for jackslash
jackslash

She finally texted me, and said her boyfriend picked her up. No explanation of why she didn't reply to my calls.

But if I want girls who are responsible, thoughtful and considerate, I should go to the library, not strip clubs.

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Avatar for mikeya02
mikeya02

Unlikely, but just hope she's not reported as missing and a detective comes to your door.

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Avatar for mikeya02
mikeya02

jack, missed your last post. oops!

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Avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl

It's not unusual for strippers to have never had a normal job, and be too wrapped up in themselves to know most people can't get away with ditching work all the time. She may be pissed that you told her she had to wait till after work to get a ride.

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