I'm faced with a mystery. When I left my home this morning, a stripper was asleep in my bed. When I returned, she had disappeared.
I had left her sleeping peacefully at 7AM, and when I called around 1PM, she was still in bed and sounded groggy. I told her I would be back by 5:30 to drive her home.
But when I pulled into my garage and walked upstairs calling "Christie," I heard no response. My bed was empty except for a tangle of sheets and blankets and a pair of pink and white panties. Where was she?
I searched the house. Her iPhone, purse and joints were gone. My iPad, MacBook and TV were still there, so she hadn't robbed me. Christie is my ATF and considering the amount of money I spend on her, it would be very short-sighted to rob me. Of course, strippers are often short-sighted.
She had not left a note. I found some dirty dishes in the sink, revealing she had eaten lunch. I checked the front door. The dead bolt was open but the spring lock was locked, so she had gone out that way. Someone must have picked her up.
I phoned her and texted her, but she has not responded.
So where is she? Lying drunk at home? Lying drunk in a motel? Lying dead in a Detroit drug house?
The mystery continues.
Dude chill happens to me all the time....she is a zombie now