Aggressive or Passive?

46 comments

• jackslash

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  12 years ago

  You're right. Dancers are not mind readers, and so you have to let them know you're interested. Walk over to them, tip them, ask for a dance. Whether they're strippers or not, women expect men to make the first move. If you want pussy, don't be a pussy.
• lopaw

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  12 years ago

  gmd said it better than I ever could. As usual, he nailed it perfectly.
• sharkhunter

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  12 years ago

  Do whatever you want to do is my motto. It works as long as the consequences don't get you in trouble. I have not seen the article yet but I do remember one club where the dancers did not ask the guys for dances unless you came up to the girl first and said you were interested. It has been so long since I wanted a dance from a particular dancer and she wasn't in my face before I knew it that I have trouble remembering that many years ago.
• Dougster

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  12 years ago

  Do whatever's most convenient. They're just whores and this isn't dating. Don't overthink it.
• steve3003

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  12 years ago

  As with most things, depends on the situation. In a new club, if it's not busy, sit back, tip well, and they'll come to you. Unless they're sitting with their regulars in which case you gotta follow microdong's advice. If it's busy, gotta be forward unless you don't care. The principle's the same as in singles bars and life in general.
• dallas702

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  12 years ago

  I tend to straddle the line between aggressive and laid back. When I see a dancer who is appealing to me I will approach her, express my potential interest and let her know where I am sitting. If she is on stage, I tip, watch her act a few minutes, and invite her to join me after her set. The next move is up to her. If she doesn't come by, it a write off for me and I look for the next love of my night. In a club where I am not a regular, this routine works well for me. If I am known, I simply sit down and I am shortly joined by a beautiful young lady. Either way, I don't waste time, nor money, and I usually enjoy my visits.
• rickdugan

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  12 years ago

  I don't know gmd. Maybe it is just me, but I tend to like to leave the "possibly flaky, possibly popular, possible overworked, possibly crappy (or good, depending on how you view mine) judge of character" in the scrap heap. I hear what you are saying gmd, but I just don't like the position it puts me in when I have approach them first. I have no concerns about my negotiating skills, but I find their mindsets to be different when I approach them vs. when they approach me. So much so, in fact, that I'm inclined to sit alone for the duration of a club visit rather than to take the inititiave. I like my girls hungry and motivated and if I sense that the girls in a club are not, then I really don't have much use for them. Anyway, just my 2 cents.
• crazyjoe

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  12 years ago

  Who cares. Just say things you dont normally have the balls to say to women. If they dont like it or they think they have the upper hand...next... Just be done talking to them. Its your money and you can give it to whoever you want.
• Papi_Chulo

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  12 years ago

  I prefer dancers to approach me b/c it tells me they are interested (in the $$$ of course) and thus I tend to think they’ll put more of an effort into their LDing. I’ve seen reviews and comments on threads about going into an SC and the dancers are sitting around talking to each other (even sometimes dancing w/ each other) and not paying any attention to customers. I don’t want to approach a dancer w/ that kind of work ethic b/c her dancing and “customer service” probably sucks. Also, if for some reason you are not the dancer’s type for whatever reason but she still gives you a dance(s) b/c you asked her, then you’ll probably get a sucky performance. But as many have commented over time, sometimes dancers don’t have a clue. I’ve seen comments from other TUSCLers (and has also happened to me) where dancers will sit w/ guys for extended periods of time w/o the guy spending a nickel on them while you are there ready, willing, and financially able. Along these lines, I’ve often been in clubs where I’ll stare at the dancer to let her know I am interested and she will not come to me all the while I may see her getting turned down by other customers. I will on occasion grab a dancer and ask her if she’ll give me a dance and it has usually worked out well – but I still prefer to be asked mainly for how “rickdugan” put it – “I like my girls hungry and motivated …”
• minnow

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  12 years ago

  I've done both. When in a new (or non-regular club after long absence), I like to get the lay of the land before approaching any particular dancer. Likewise, in a familiar club, fave dancers will come by. Yet, there are times when a proactive approach is called for. If dancer is truly a flaky ditz (or a princessy stuck up, etc), I can often tell early on- better to get that out of the way, and move on to other appealing prospects. Life is too short, as gmd says........
• jester214

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  12 years ago

  There's a time and a place for everything. In certain instances it makes sense to let them come to you, in other cases if I see something I want I sprint to it. If I never approached dancers I would have missed out on a lot of quality.
• Doc_Holliday

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  12 years ago

  I tip my hat to you, sir! I want the finer things in life. In my elementary experience, they rarely fall into your lap, you have to go get them.
• GoVikings

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  12 years ago

  I agree with you with. But I don't walk up to dancers when they're off stage and tell them to come over to see me. That just seems awkward to me. Especially since they're usually talking to other customers/ co-workers. What I usually do to get the attention of the dancer I want to see, is simply let them know to come over to my table after one of the songs end and they're making their way over to the next stage. But yeah, sometimes you have to be aggressive in the club, otherwise the girl or girls you want to come over and see you, never will. Good post, GMD.
• 3LeggedMan

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  12 years ago

  I usually spend 2-3 hours in the club per visit, and there's about 10-12 girls, so any girl I'd want will make an appearance on stage. If we make a good connection at the tip rail, then all systems are GO. If not, so be it. Other than that, sometimes making eye contact gets their attention, but if they're already seated with a customer, it rarely gets them over to me very quickly.
• motorhead

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  12 years ago

  ^^^ Well said 3LeggedMan. My thoughts too. Almost always I'm at a club for a several hours. If I see a girl I like, certainly I will walk up and tip her. But then it's in her court. I won't ask her to come over to me. If she's does, then great. If not, I would rather have a more motivated dancer. But whatever works. Each guy should choose his own technique. However, just think about this: Scenario (a). Gorgeous dancer approaches me at my table, touches my thigh, purrs in my ear, "hey sexy, let's have some fun." Scenario (b): the dancer of my choice has been in the dressing room all night. She finally makes a stage appearance. She is hot. Catches my eye. So you go to the stage and tip her. She says I'll come see you after I'm done with a dance i promised a guy. (a) or (b). Just think about it. I know ny answer
• vincemichaels

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  12 years ago

  I like to check out the babes first. Far too often, as others note, they disappear after their dances on stage. So as they do come back, I'll walk up to the ones I am interested in and talk with them a minute. You could die of old age waiting for one to stop by, otherwise.
• MADDOG_ROMEO

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  12 years ago

  Aggressive is default mode... Occasionally to mix it up, will tip/expose semi-agressive interest up at the stage...and then let (somewhat passively) whatever happens happen
• rickdugan

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  12 years ago

  To add to what I said before... I just don't need the services of any one dancer badly enough to chase after her. And if you've been eye fucking her for the past hour from your seat, you can bet that she already knows that you're interested. She's just not as motivated to try to sell services to you as you are to buy them from her, which in my humble opinion is a bad position to be starting from. Now there have been times when I've sat there all night with money in my pocket and not a single dancer approached me. Fine. Now it does not happen very often as I'm usually suited up and obviously carrying cash, which if anything normally gives me the reverse problem of hustlers and ROBs pestering me almost upon arrival. But every so often I'll end up in some weird ass club in the middle of east bumfuck where I swear that I could tape a Benjamin to my forehead and not get any interest. When this happens, I just say fuck it and chalk it up as a cheap night of titties and booze. If they aren't interested in working for my money then I'm not going to run around the club trying to convince them to take it from me. It is a matter of discipline. In my experience, girls that have to be chased down give crappy service, either because they have a certain sense of entitlement or are shy/nervous, and are absolutely horrible candidates for anything dicey. Now I am in clubs an awful lot, so coming up empty a few nights or so each year really don't phase me, but I do suppose that I could see the other side of the coin for guys who only get out about once a month or so. Anyway, there it is fwiw.
• windowsidiot

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  12 years ago

  I have never not received a dance. Occasionally girls will avoid me when I first arrive at a new club but as soon as they realize I'm not a rock I've always had dancers at my table. Occasionally I have asked the waitress or bouncer to recommend someone and they have always brought a girl over even if they had to check the dressing room. Once they realize you get dances, pay and are not an ass about it the flood gates open. Just prime the pump. I am old, bald with a grey beard, no longer good looking and seldom drop over $300/night.
• Dougster

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  12 years ago

  Wow, so even for asking for a dance Rick has a "system". Wonder how long in the making that was? The full blown system (have sex by paying) was 10 years in the making, but just getting a dance is, obviously a much less ambitious project. Maybe only took him 2 years to come up with that one? Again, though, works no better than approach/let her approach/whatever just ask!
• rickdugan

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  12 years ago

  ^LOL. Absolutely! I cover acceptance of dances in Chapter 3. Now to be accurate, I was paying for sex 10 years ago as well, but as I perfected the unparalleled Dugan System, I became much more efficient at sourcing it. AND FOR THE LOW LOW PRICE OF $19.95, YOU TOO CAN LEARN TO SOURCE STRIPPER PUSSY SIMPLY AND EFFECTIVELY, LIKE ME! ;) Too funny. By the way Fraudster, how's the current batch of "reviews" coming along? You must be running out of VIP ramp soon (if you haven't already), so I'm expecting your next round of special gems anytime now. Now remember what they say: If it comes from at least 3 sources, it isn't plagiarism. LMAO
• Dougster

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  12 years ago

  Hey, Rick, I notice in your review of 2001 Odessey that you fail to mention the range of age of the dancers. Also you mention cover price which is just duplicate information from other reviews. Hence, by Dugan logic, you review is a fake! Oh, but, also by Dugan logic, I cannot flag it as such because of its "crafty wording"!
• minnow

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  12 years ago

  I see what both gmd and rick are saying. To use a non-clubbing analogy on both approaches: Lets say a neighborhood has a bunch of "for sale" signs posted curbside. One could choose to park in the middle of neighborhood in luxury sedan/SUV, and make a show of perusing real estate listings. Some homeowner just might notice the realtor looking vehicle parked in the middle of the neighborhood, and trip all over themselves to offer a deal. Or, one could simply walk up to desired house, ring the doorbell, make satisfactory offer to its owner and get their home.
• motorhead

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  12 years ago

  ....or let's say you walk into a high end furniture store with commissioned sales people. You're looking at an expensive rolltop desk while the 4 sales people are just talking and ignoring you. Do I approach them? Fuck no. I get in my car, go to the next store with the same desk.
• minnow

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  12 years ago

  Gee, I didn't know Detroit had 2 high end furniture stores on the same block. OK, mh, what if they ignore you at that store,or their rolltop is already sold ? Off to yard sales and corporate office auctions ??
• motorhead

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  12 years ago

  I guess then I go across the street to Value City Furniture. Some of the desks sre old. Some are scratched. All are well used. But they're cheap and always in stock. And it's still a workable desk. Seriously. I see both sides too. I think it depends where you're at. If you're in Detroit, Tampa, Indianapolis, Houston, etc. I think maybe you have the luxury of waiting. If your in Des Moines for a night, aggressive might be the better play.
• bang69

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  12 years ago

  I like to sit back & check out the girls first. Then make my move
• georgmicrodong

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  12 years ago

  @Dougster: "Do whatever's most convenient." I agree. And what's convenient is to get to the fucking point, and the point is fucking. :) Or a reasonable facsimile thereof. @steve3003: "As with most things, depends on the situation. In a new club, if it's not busy, sit back, tip well, and they'll come to you." Yeah, but that's more a "taking stock of the situation" scenario, and not a "bargaining position" one, no? @rick: I continue to believe that our difference is a result of our different situations. You're a persistent road warrior, and I'm a homebody. However, even on the rare occasions when I'm on the road and have the opportunity, I tend to sit back and take stock, as steve3003 suggests, and then still follow my own advice. And for the record, "expressing an interest" doesn't mean stalking her around the club, or chasing after her when she comes off the stage or any crap like that. As others have noted, if an offer of a drink while tipping at the stage, or a request for time when she's walking from the dressing room to her current custie, or something similar, doesn't produce results, I'm not going to spend a lot of time wishing she'll come by. But I hear constant complaints on here that girls are spending time by themselves, or at the bar ignoring customers, or something similar. It makes me laugh. If you don't even *try* to get a girl's attention, don't bitch when she doesn't pay attention. Sure, if you ask for time, and *then* she goes to sit by herself, then bitch. That's just stupid on her part, unless you're giving off stalker vibes or some shit, of course.
• Alucard

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  12 years ago

  I have always advocated asking dancers if one doesn't approach. It isn't a strike against my manhood to ask.
• jackslash

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  12 years ago

  Motorhead and minnow, I was planning to hit the strip club today, but you convinced me to go out and buy a desk.
• gatorfan

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  12 years ago

  Does the lion wait for the antelope? Does the shark wait for the seal? Does the bullet wait for the victim? Does the bear wait for the mountain climber? No I say
• farmerart

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  12 years ago

  I am with georg and gator on this one. I see the merits of rick's position but I do not do the amount of clubbing that he does so I try to maximize my pleasure on my drive-by dine-and-dash SC visits. I am also 63 years old. Time does matter when you reach my age!
• rickdugan

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  12 years ago

  @gmd: Fair enough and to each his own I suppose. My approach works for me and yours does what you need it to, so there it is. @Fraudster: "Hey, Rick, I notice in your review of 2001 Odessey that you fail to mention the range of age of the dancers. Also you mention cover price which is just duplicate information from other reviews." LOL Dude. It is not a checklist. You're absolutely right that the cover has been often mentioned and I did not indicate the ages of the girls that saw, in large part because I couldn't rightly guess with 3 of the 6 girls that I saw as they spent most of their time in the DR (which I mentioned in the review and is itself good information). The important point is that I posted a review that provided specifics about the visit, including (1) what it cost me to get in, buy a drink and buy lapdances; (2) the rough number and types of girls vs. the number of customers and the fact that most of the girls hid out away from the customers; and (3) my particular experiences with one of those girls, including how she looked, how she performed and the nature of her upselling activities. Net-net, there was something of specific value that a reader could take away from the review. Now I'm not saying that every review that I write is a masterpiece, but I simply won't post a review if I cannot provide something of value. By contrast, your "reviews" are simply not additive. Now you provide ample details about a club layout, the parking situation and even your drive to the club, but everything gets hazy and extremely generic once you start describing the girls and activities. Heck, most of your "reviews" don't even provide tangible data regarding the costs of anything. Net-net, if all of your so-called "reviews" disappeared from the database tomorrow, absolutely nothing in the way of original content or real value would be lost. But of course yoiu already know this. My only point in pointing all of this out is to let you know that I, and likely every other seasoned club hound on this board, know it as well. ;)
• Dougster

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  12 years ago

  @rick: Hilarious! Now you are watering down your claims from "fake" (since you couldn't back it up and ran when I asked you to) to just "not useful, to me" - as locals do find them useful. It's a replay of how you backed off on your claims regarding "the system" the more I and others made fun of it over time. Let it be a lesson to you though, ricky-boy, anytime you and your ego start getting too big on here, making claims too big, I'm ready to smack you back into line as I always have in the past.
• txtittyfan

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  12 years ago

  In related news, a Seattle area man was found unconcious in his short bus with a severed penis in his mouth. Witnesses say he appeared to be prancing around the bus in a delusional state talking to himself when he started choking on the penis. The victims mother and sister, both dancers at a nearby club told officers on the scene that "little Dougie liked to fantasize about strip clubs and suck penises". A police spokesman said there would be no further investigation as no one gives a shit.
• rickdugan

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  12 years ago

  LOL Fraudster. For any avoidance of doubt, I am absolutely convinced that most, if not all, of your reviews are fakes. ;) I ask again, why do you bother? What makes a guy want to turn what should be a good informational site into a circus sideshow? Just how many aliases do you have on this thing anyway, each no doubt posting equally fake reviews? What motivates you to go through all of the time and effort necessary to create and perpetuate this nonsense? Are you homebound? Disabled? Again, I'm not trying to be mean, but I just don't get it. Unfortunately for all of us, you have no qualms about derailing these threads and turning them into Dougster sideshows, no doubt since you don't have any real perspectives to add anyway, but yet have ample time on your hands and an inexplicable desire to post on this site. In any event, I'm not going to contribute any further to derailing this thread.
• mikeya02

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  12 years ago

  Hey Rick, I can relate to most of your views, good information. Now we are forced to use our intuition to determine what sounds useful and real and what is ego driven crap. But there is only one wierdo here who actually blathers out "prove it!", "show me proof!", "give me real examples!", "tell me your real name!". It's not you, it's the other guy.
• motorhead

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  12 years ago

  gatorfan, But the Tiger, the meanest, baddest mutherfucka in Siegfred and Roy's zoo DOES indeed wait for his meal. And he could take down any old wimpy lion or bear any day of the week.
• Dougster

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  12 years ago

  Rick, the explanation is very simple. There are no multiple aliases and no fake reviews. Your mammoth ego merely constructs these elaborate conspiracy theories that no one in the world* agrees with to protect yourself from the facing the fact that someone disagrees with you. (You hint in one of your articles that there were some issues around this with one of your parents when you were growing up.) Not does that person disagree with you, which your ego couldn't handle on its own, but that person is right which completely devastates you. (*ok mikeya02 might agree with you, but he also beleives strippers who say "you're the only one I do this for", so let's just say he is a little more suggestible than most. *being polite here* :-) ) You are the fraud since it obviously to anyone with a grip on reality that there is no need to spend 10 years developing a system to get sex from strippers, but still at the end of day having to pay. Just ask works equally well from day one. You are scared of me because I expose this and lash out with these ridiculous theories because you know I am the one who sees through *your fraud* and *calls you down* on it for others to see. So much of your identity is built around strippers/strip clubs and being the master of the art and science. But, in reality, it's like being the master of tic-tac-toe. Anyone who has played the game a couple of times (besides mikeya02) is already master of it. But hey, tell you what, try telling people in the real world about your mastery of strip clubs and see what kind of an accomplishment they think it is. You hate me, because I destroy that fantasy of yours even here on TUSCL where you ought to be "safe". And conspiracy theories that convince no one, including yourself, is all you got to fight back with. But don't worry, I'm here to continue thrashing you from now until infinity. Nowhere for you to hide, ricky-boy!
• sharkhunter

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  12 years ago

  That would be a crappy club if you sit in it and no dancer ever approaches you. That's worse than a dancer coming over to you just about every single minute asking for a dance for 2 hours straight. I say worse because at least some of those dancers were sitting in my lap giving you some attention rather than getting in your face and nothing else. I will return to the club with the over eager dancers but not the club where I was bored to death.
• shadowcat

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  12 years ago

  I guess when it comes to flame wars, I am passive.
• lopaw

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  12 years ago

  When I first started clubbing, I would go with a male friend or with a bunch of guys to try and get a feel for the clubs & how they worked. I remember being ignored constantly. It really sucked, and at the time I didn't understand why. I haven't had that problem in a very long time, but the one thing that it taught me was to approach dancers that I was interested in, which was instrumental at the time in having the dancers realize that I was a spending customer.
• deogol

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  12 years ago

  WTF? She asks you, you pay her to get naked. You ask her, you pay her to get naked. What strategy am I missing here?
• rickdugan

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  12 years ago

  LOL Dougster. I don't hate you at all. I'm just a little boggled, and perhaps even a touch saddened, by anyone who has such a compulsive need to do what you do on here. Over 2000 silly and/or nonsensical comments and over 20 pseudo-reviews. Why would anyone work so hard to gain attention and acceptance in a place like this? My only conclusion is that you are homebound, disabled or, at the very least, under psychiatric care. I just cannot find it in myself to get mad over the stuff that you say. If you want to use this place as an escape and for some adolescent fun, no skin off my teeth. Heck, even your fake reviews are relatively harmless as they really do no more than rehash what others have said. But if someone is actually ever gullible enough to think that your review and comment counts actually mean that you know what you're talking about, then your "advice" is gonna' get some poor slob hurt somewhere. If some guy were actually dumb enough to go into a club in downtown Chicago, or Boston, or one of a number of other tighter areas and "just ask" some girl if she would have sex for money, he'll be lucky if it ends with her screaming "I'm a dancer, not a whore!" and he very well could be leaving the club headfirst. Know what I mean? Not a very cool thing to do to someone else dude - LOL. And if you are one of a number of aliases, which I continue to suspect is the case, then everything I said in the first paragraph above applies doubly. Anyway, just my two cents.
• mikeya02

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  12 years ago

  Rick, there is no suspecting, the liar used to be "bobbyl". The bobbyl that tried to insult GMD, Parodyman, Misterguy, Shawdowcat, the Founder, and oh, everyone else. Not the bobbyl who appears at the top of the search, but the bobbyl who commented to these guys. Seems there are two bobbyls. Fucking weird. And of course he still does this crap.
• Dougster

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  12 years ago

  Too funny! Per his usual MO ricky-boy, when cornered, temporarily waters down his claims (only to go back to his usual BS, no doubt, when he thinks I won't be there to call him down. Now we have Rick saying the system is only needed in maybe five of top of line clubs in the country. Everywhere else just ask will work equally well. (I'm skeptical of even this much weaker claim, however. I was told Vegas was a hard city to score OTC in, but I found it trivial. Again, just ask.) Ricky-boy also watered down his claim from definitely using multiple aliases to it just be something he "suspects". Keep responding to my smacking you down by continuing to water down your claims there, Ricky-boy!