Cut out the left pocket of my microfiber slacks?

Unless I'm going to a Higher Class Club with a "Dress Code", I prefer shorts with no underwear during my Apr to Oct Clubbing Season. The Ultimate Access. (short of Nudity) LMAO

Yes, so black microfiber golf shorts with no left pocket, too. Point well taken, Sir.

You wear pants?

I always wear a Kilt! Scottsman style no less!

So I take it the pants have a left pocket but you've cut out the inside? Honestly coming too well prepared for sex at a strip club has a certain creepiness factor to it.

What if she is left handed ?

The kind of pants doesn't matter as long as they have a zipper.

Motorhead raises a good question. Best idea is to cut out BOTH of the front pockets. Keep your money in one of your socks for security.

Personally, I have my own "dick in a box" apparatus a la Justin Timberlake's SNL skit. The peelers always love a present!

Isn't there suppose to be some popcorn involved somehow?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqmqxtlDc…

I just unzip. Works for me.

Motorhead, Joesparty: thanks for the insight! It seems that I'm discriminating against left-handed dancers. That's just not right. Thus, I shall do away with both front pockets as Joesparty recommends. @ inno123: there's no hiding it, I actually am a creeper...a first-class pervert of the lowest order. @ Bubbletop, Jackslash: I'm afraid of the floaters/bouncers-- that's one thing. I'd also like to "surprise" dancers with my ingenuity/creativity. It's also an easier way to toss out the discarded condom if I'm not wearing shorts.

Sirjack.....I find this funny and practical if your going to one of those clubs wear stuff don't to maybee do happen....but if your in a dive or ultra high mileage club wear extras are sold just take you dick out and wave it in the air like you just don't care ! You down with opp ? Ya u know me : )

Just hope the dude to your left doesn't mistake your crank for a roll of cash and try to pick-pocket you!

Her: wanna dance
You: sure, let's go
Her: let's sit here, that creepy bouncer can see me here.
You: yeah, good, creepy yeah bad....
Her: want me to start on this song?
You: sure, baby
Her: hey ur kinda turned on already....hahaha...I like that.
You: hey, uh, I cut the left pocket out of my slacks so you can slide your hand right in there and give
me a hand job. Also, there's a little lotion dispenser down toward my knees, and a warm towel for
clean-up over here in my other pocket. Yer hands aren't cold are they?
Her: Creeepy night at the club again.....give me a c-note and I'll think about it. Hey, you're not so turned on
any more...what's wrong

Mmvd26 omfucking god ! This shit made me squrt all over my iphone then dip my ballz in my cold glass of milk !!!

"Hey, you're not so turned on any more...what's wrong"

Too much talk, maybe... LOL

Well played mmdv26. Well played, sir. hahahaha

On a more serious note...do any veterans have some suggestions on kinds of pants to wear? I usually wear jeans or khakis which are not all that accessible/comfortable. But I refuse to wear shorts or sweatpants...I mean, I don't want to look like a complete tard. And besides, don't most clubs frown upon you showing up in shorts??

I weae shorts 99.5% of the time. I have never had a club object to it and if they did, I would just go some where else. Why go where they do not appreciate your business? I am off to the club this afternoon and will be wearing shorts and a T-shirt that reads "I am just a blow job waitibg to happen".