Getting the Stripper Smell Off

Smoke cigars. This not only works with wives, but also with bird-dog LE wanting to smell if you have been drinking.

Me and my team of scientist are hard at work on a strip that is to be placed on the tounge, killing all traces of stripper: perfume, lipstick on collar, wet spot on crotch & thighs, phone# in blackberry, etc. Real ground-breaking shit! Pending approval from FDA. After that, you can call me...Noble Prize winning Staxwell!

Stop and get gas on the way home, and "accidentally" get a little bit on your hand. Then wipe it off on your shirt. Gasoline smell is overpowering, and a little goes a long way. It will overpower stripper smell.

Lemon does a good job of removing "fish" smell from your hands.

LOL Archie, but NOTHING overpowers stripper smell, at least from those girls who use the variety of ridiculously stinky Victoria Secrets scents. Get that stuff on your shirt and it never wears off unless a good washing is applied. That same shirt can also stink up a whole room, or a suitcase, or a laundry basket.

I wrote an article about this very issue a year ago:

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@staxwell - while working on your Nobel, don't forget glitter (damn hard to get off) and the stray strand of long blonde hair (difficult to explain if your wife is a brunette, or vice versa)

A shower and the laundry. The above suggestions are decent enough for covering up, but you're gonna need soap to get rid of it.

Glad I don't have to worry about the consequences, other than to my nose, bringing that stench home.

For "smells" Purell hand sanitizer works quite well actually, if you don't have time or the place for the shower before heading home to the significant other. With glitter though, you're basically fucked. That shit gets stuck in the most obscure places on clothing, hair, etc. I've actually turned down a guaranteed score because of it. You think those whores would learn.

I hose myself off in the backyard. But if I can remember before I head home, I'll ask someone at the club to blow cigarette smoke on me, then splash some beer on me for good measure. As much as my SO hates cigarettes & booze, I'd rather smell of that then strippers.

Not being married helps a lot too, it makes the smell not so much of a problem.

I wrote about this somewhere in my first few months of membership. When I was married, I'd prevent the problem in the first place. I would sneak an extra shirt with me out to the car. I wouldn't change into it until I arrived at the club. Conversely, I'd change right out of it once I got back into my car upon leaving the club. Also, before leaving the club, I'd stop in the men's room and thoroughly wash face and at least get my whole head wet. That, along with some fresh deodorant just as I pulled in the driveway at home nipped the problem in the bud.

The first guy said it. Smoke a cigar, or half of one. They won't smell anything else.

@rickdugan-How could you trash Vicki's secret? Im so pissed lol

And for the rest of you, I had no idea customers had significant others. All this time I thought I was their only one. This blows!

Ever hear of a shower?

I'm with canny.

Honk the horn a few times when you pull into the drivway, slam the garage door and then the front door, turn on all the lights and while on the way to the bath room sing "Show me the way to go home". Piss in the center of the toilet. Fart a couple of times while doing so. Finally burst into the bed room as shout "anybody in here wanna get laid?"

Trust me. You won't hear a thing!

I live alone so this is not a serious concern for me. I do have a dog; a very possessive old bitch who hates all human females and vociferously makes her displeasure known whenever such a despicable creature shows up at Rancho farmerart. I came home one evening liberally dosed with Eau de Stripteaseuse and poor Daisy was just flumoxed. I smelled like one of the hated creatures but I looked like the beloved master. One very confused old dog for a few hours!

Interesting comments. I especially like the cigar ones. I recently started smoking them as a way to decrease alcohol consumption. Now I see another positive side effect! Thanks!

Start wearing Victoria's Secret perfume and smoking, then you'll always smell like a stripper, so you can never get caught. You're going to have to start wearing glitter too, though, if you really want guaranteed success.

lol

I think hakanlube has the best solution so far.

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em!

lopaw,

When you start wear "Old Spice"! :)

I had to mess with an electric generator this AM. Diesel would very effectively camouflage any malodourous stripper smell an unfortunate PL brought home.

Not so sure that a wife would be any more understanding of a husband reeking of diesel than she would be of a husband reeking of Chanel No 25.

(Apologies, stiletto. A cheap shot, I know, Just couldn't resist.)

art,

A problem here...?

Two good ways to hide the smell, fuel (gasoline or diesel) AND cigars. Is it just me that sees problem?

clubber,

Diesel is difficult to ignite. Now gasoline and cigars? NO THANK YOU!!

And it tastes terrible as well!