2011 PL of the year nomination
supertramp79
I recently took a job out of town and decided it would be fun to have a regular. Tried out a bunch of clubs and found someone that I liked at one club and began visiting 1-2 times per week for a few months. It was a low cost club, so I decided I would try to be extra nice and win her over by giving her 2x and 3x the dance amount - often blowing at least a thousand dollars on her each time I went - and I went a lot. Just lap dances - nothing more requested or offered (these were at least very good two-way lap dances). This is for someone who averaged maybe $200 a night (but, probably less).
She started to be more aggressive and demanding in my visits to the club - wanting an extra $500 or so - and I always obliged.
In addition, I started getting texts of emergencies and wired money on several occasions to her to help out with things.
I was trying to get her to join me for dinner (I made clear that nothing more than dinner) since I was alone in this new city and she finally agreed. On the week of the date, I got a call at about 2am being very demanding for some money. I gave her a little bit of grief and she actually got upset with me even though I wired the money.
On the big day, she decided that she wanted another girl to come along so she felt safe - no big deal but she had never mentioned it before and started worrying me. But, I was paying her $1500 for the date so what was one more dinner. Then, she asked for the money before the date because that's how she normally (?) did it. At this point, something woke me up and I told her to forget about it and realized how I was being taken.
Now, the day after our supposed big dinner date, I am still having a hard time getting her out of my mind. I am sitting here writing this as therapy instead of heading to the club. How sick is that?
I would appreciate support or advice, but I know I am likely to get (and deserve) scorn and abuse.
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My advice - if she's on your mind, just go out and spend some time with other dancers. Don't become a regular - just make sure you get a fair return on every transaction, and don't get emotionally involved. If you're not getting a fair shake (no joke intended) just leave or look for someone else.
you were played bigtime though, and even though you seem to know it you still let it happen. honestly you give us sane guys (although when i read what some of the guys here throw away $$$ at times i wonder how many are really sane) a bad name.
there's still hope for you though because you woke up before paying her 1,500 dollars (???? YIKES FOR A FRIGGEN DATE?) so maybe you aren't a total lost cause.
you want advice?
get your head screwed on right before you enter a strip club or talk to any stripper, especially the rob in this story again!!!!
or better yet, meet me at a club with your wad of cash and let me blow it on strippers while i show you what not to do. at least one of us will gain from it.
My suggestion is that you find a new club and become a regular. But don't confine yourself to one girl and don't pay extra. Become friendly with 3 or 4 girls and get dances with all of them, and then they will know they have to compete for your time and dollars. Never let a dancer know you're hooked on her because then she'll take advantage. Never pay in advance for a date. Learn what the market price for OTC sex is, and don't pay more. There are plenty of dancers who will be glad to take your money and also treat you fairly and respectfully.
Wear it in sheepishness and red-faced embarrassment.
PL of the year? "Bloody Well Right!" I can understand wanting to "Give a Little Bit", but $1,000 a night is not very "Logical." The girl really took you to "School," but I'm guessing you're kind of a "Dreamer." You certainly "Took the Long Way Home," but glad you finally decided to tell her, "Goodbye Stranger."
Finally, some words of wisdom (which you may already be familiar with):
"Feel no sorrow, feel no shame, come tomorrow, feel no pain
Sweet devotion, it's not for me, just give me motion and set me free"
An absolute CLASSIC !! Well done, steve229.
We do learn by out mistakes.
Steve 229 - Masterful!!
Famerart - that means a lot coming form you :)
Troop - I appreciate the offer.
Honestly, I would love to meet up with any of you and learn in person from a pro. I will fund a fun day or night of activities just for the learning experience. Even though I try to learn from what you all write on here, I would love to see it in action and learn from the best. I get around a lot, so please PM me if you would be willing to meet somewhere to show me the best way to work a club.
And, thanks as always for your willingness to share!!
Take it on the chin, and don't make the mistake again. Getting over her is the easy part, as there will always be someone hotter, funnier, far more charming and seductive. The hard part will be regaining your dignity.
Ha! "Goodbye Stranger" love it!
I was also looking for someone to hang out with regularly - more of a relationship type thing - and that was part of my downfall. That's why the pornstar alternative doesn't really work for me.
Imnumnut - sorry to disappoint you, but this one is true - I guess sometimes truth is stranger than fiction.
harrydave - I don't gamble - thankfully.
Pay the customary fee for the time spend/services (dances etc) that's reasonable and tip well, but what struck me especially, besides the amounts in general handed over, was the wiring of funds to her.
The advice to learn and move on is the best.
just wow.
Then write down a list of material things you could have acquired for that amount, and material things you could have acquired for half that amount. Then annualize the total amount.
That's it. It's an exercise in "perspective". You probably got a great-paying job because you are able to analyze things. So analyze this. There's no shame in the SC hobby; but you need to pay a reasonable price for both your physical and emotional needs. Otherwise, it becomes destructive.
There is no glory in wearing the PL Champ crown for more than a year.
I haven't been to a strip club for years and years. Why? I was a major PL to some girl. These days, I think of the other things I could have done with that money. It was a lot of money too, like supertramp it ended up being thousands and thousands. Now, I have no idea where she is, etc.
For the moment you realize you blew a lot of money. Later on, you will realize you blew a lot of time.
From her perspective, I was probably the biggest stupidest loser SOB in the world. When I realized that, I quit going to strip clubs. Between those three things, it just wasn't fun anymore.
I think it's a fair trade. YMMV.
But like Supertramp, I was stupidly looking for something else in the club. I was far to open minded. It was a nicer world when I was naive, but those days are over.
wow, dude, you need to watch how you spread that cash.