The men dancers marry

37 comments

• GoVikings

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  13 years ago

  wait, let me get this straight. so you were his favorite, and he come to see you regularly, until he got jealous because you would spend time with other customers? is what what you're saying?
• samsung1

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  13 years ago

  I will lie to a dancer and tell her "I don't care if she is married or whatever" but really I prefer if they are single! It is all about the fantasy. Congratulations though...
• HonestT

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  13 years ago

  It doesn't bother me one way or the other, unless their man works at the club. Then it makes me paranoid and uncomfortable; and I'll find another girl. If a dancer is wearing a ring, I will ask about it.
• kumasdaisy

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  13 years ago

  GoVikings - Basically. He would roll up at around midnight, ask if I had done other dances. If I said no, he would accuse me of lying. If I said yes, he would freak out, get a dance with another girl, and ask her to point out which customers I had danced for. Weird dude. He once tried to get me fired by calling the club and "outing" me as a bisexual, as if they weren't already aware, having witnessed my persistent flirting with the other bisexual/curious dancers. :p Samsung - That was exactly what I was worried about! Fantasy plays a huge role from what I understand... I still generally don't tell customers unless they are persistent about wanting to meet OTC, which generally only happens with Latino customers who only like me because I can break the language barrier. I especially avoid telling my recently-divorced customers! HonestT - My man won't go near the club because he's worried about preventing me from making money, even though the management likes him. If he is picking me up he usually "plays customer" and chats with the other guys hanging around the bar. It's very fun. I think I'm just going to take off the ring from now on, unless my fingers get fat to the point where this is impossible. Although I don't like secrets, some things are better left unsaid perhaps.
• georgmicrodong

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  13 years ago

  I care only to the extent that some jealous boyfriend/fiancé/husband doesn't take it into his head to come after me for having sex with his girl. Her man is *her* issue. If she can manage him, fine. If not, I'll find somebody else. In the 30+ years I've been doing this, the notion that every single girl who told me she was single was actually telling the whole truth is unlikely, and I've only had to pull my gun once, and that wasn't a jealous man situation, but a straight up robbery attempt. If I was just getting dances, and nothing extra, I wouldn't even care *that* much. I don't know how typical I am in that regard, though. There might be lots more people who subscribe to the fantasy.
• shadowcat

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  13 years ago

  First of all rings mean nothing. I know married strippers that don't wear one and single strippers that do. Just to keep guys from hitting on them. Their status doesn't bother me as long as they are providing what I desire. Having said that, I have found that married dancers have more scruples than single. Their personal limits are higher than the rest. Usually no petting the kitty and a HJ is as far as they will go. Dancer with BFs are a little more liberal. Some will do DFK, BJs and allow kitty play. With unencumbered ones the sky is usually the limit. DFK, DATY,BJ, FS ITC & OTC. BIG BIG caution YMMV is an understatement.
• troop

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  13 years ago

  i used to finger and suck tits of a former atf from the past while her boyfriend was often in the bar and seeing that it was a small bar he wasn't far away, but i usually prefer the illusion of them being unattached.
• troop

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  13 years ago

  i should add that they were engaged at the time and i believe that they might be married now.
• looneylarry

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  13 years ago

  I don't think that too many guys would care one way or another. Many of the guys are wearing rings, too, and that doesn't stop them from doing what they do. Whether you are wearing a ring or not, a guy might at some point be interested in whether further advances could result in a boyfriend/pimp/dealer jumping into the picture, which makes things messy. Nothing dissolves a fantasy quicker than the possibility of a fucked-up dude with a weapon kicking in a door. We kind of steer clear of that. And if there is a ring on her finger, we either think that it is a dummy ring or that the dancer is doing it with the tacit approval of her spouse. If she is giving all of the green lights, then the husband must be okay with it. In a way, the aggressive married stripper may be more safer than the stripper with the low-life boyfriend. I try to get a sense of what is going on in her personal life so that I can assess the risks to me, but dancers rarely divulge the whole truth. Evidence of drug use and bruises usually are the red flags. And Daisy, about your avatar. I don't know if you were shooting for the no-nonsense ball-buster image, but that is what is conveyed by your avatar. A little road-weary, a little prickly.
• StrongSilentttt

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  13 years ago

  Truth is you should leave your ring in your car. Ring is reminder to you (and me both) that you're married and shouldn't be doing some things with me. It's a reminder to me that you and I aren't going to be riding off into the sunset (or getting together OTC). You know that the real hook you have is not the physical contact (altho that also is good) but the whole scene you are creating. The ring on disrupts the scene. Like it or not, u need to take it off. Not for the sake of your favorite customers, but so that you have some customers at all.
• scatterbrain

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  13 years ago

  On the flip side, you don't mind if we're married, do you? It shouldn't bother us (and for me, it doesn't) if you're married. At the end of the day, we're all just trying to have some fun and some are trying to make some money. The only ones that would bothered by your engagement and ultimately your marriage are the ones that are deluding themselves all along the way. Can't we all just get along?
• steve229

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  13 years ago

  Me and Mrs. Jones We got a thing going on.
• Club_Goer_Seattle

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  13 years ago

  I like the fantasy of a dancer being as close as possible to being single, childless, and available. I often seek out a dancer with the intention to determine if I might want to do OTC with her. If I determine her to be OTC-ineligible, it could be because she has a b.f. or husband. Some dancers don't know that I know their relationship status. I strongly prefer my OTC girls be unattached. (There are also other, non-relationship factors I use for determining whether or not a dancer is OTC-eligible.)
• samsung1

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  13 years ago

  also kind of depends on who you are marrying. If you are marrying a professional athlete or health professional then yeah that is cool. But if you are marrying a strip club employee or some burger king manager than I will not take you serious and lose interest. Again it all depends on the individual though but these are just generalizations I make.
• runrdude

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  13 years ago

  I wear my ring, and don't mind if you wear yours as long as it doesn't have any sharp edges.
• Dolfan

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  13 years ago

  I'm not sure I can be defined as a fine upstanding gentlemen, but I'll add my two cents anyway: It is a nontrivial change. At best I would expect a change in your customer base, which depending on the overall customer pool may result in a corresponding change to your profitability in either a positive or negative way. The reactions here range from indifferent to somewhat negative, I haven't seen a positive for keeping it on yet... I don't check fingers of dancers, but I prefer stable strippers (yea, I believe in Unicorns too) and marriage is a sign of stability. I'm in a strip club for a short term casual relationship, a dancer who's not likely to latch on to me is a plus. For the times when that short term relationship extends beyond the club I think the percentage of psycho husbands is far lower than psycho boyfriends, and even "single" strippers sometimes have psycho stalkers to deal with. I'd certainly prefer to avoid altercations with displeased significant others or jealous nutjobs, and married strippers figure to have the lowest risk based on my absolutely scientific method of pulling it straight out of my ass. I know my opinions are in the minority here, as my intentions and goals heading into a titty bar are not the same as many here. What I haven't been able to figure out is how accurately the opinions this group of ass grabbers projects out to the titty groping population at large. So, like shadowcat said - YMMV! If you do end up wearing it I'd be curious to know if you notice any change other than it becoming part of the pre-dance chat list of topics.
• 59

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  13 years ago

  Doesn't bother me. Actions speak louder than words (or rings). The most "fun" OTC arrangement I had with a dancer was with one who was married.
• SuperDude

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  13 years ago

  Many of the parking lot shootings in Detroit SCs involve a dancer, a customer and the dancer's husband/boyfriend/SO. I avoid married dancers for safety's sake. Just because she's cool with it doesn't mean he is. Some women, not all, think that they can get men to accept almost anything. An armed, drunk boyfriend in a parking lot at closing time may not see things the same way a dancer hopes he will. Any agreement between a man and a woman in a committed relationship that allows other men to grope her is meaningless.
• jackslash

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  13 years ago

  All the dancers I've known have had a husband or boyfriend. My current ATF has a loser ex-husband and lives with a boyfriend who doesn't work, and while I question her choice of men, I don't have any right to object to her personal choices. As long as she keeps doing me, I'm happy. However, I don't think it's a good idea for dancers to wear a ring. The ring sends a message that the stripper is not available, and so some men may not want to get dances with them.
• farmerart

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  13 years ago

  I am not a regular at any club and apart from one brief infatuation I have no ATF. Marital status of any dancer that appeals to me is of no consequence. What happens in the VIP is of GREAT consequence to me whether she be married or single.
• GoVikings

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  13 years ago

  kumasdaisy- damn, that's messed up. he doesn't have any rights to you. i can't believe a dude would be that pathetic ok, on to answering the question like farmerart, i don't have an ATF (and have never had one) and i'm not a regular at any club considering i usually only go one per month. that said, there is this once dancer that i met about a week or so ago, that will probably become my ATF. gorgeous black & Filipino girl that i'll definitely be going back to see soon. no matter what her martial status is, it won't matter to me. that kind of thing doesn't affect my interactions with dancers at all. but if i do see them wearing a ring, i'll ask about it because i'm curious
• Clubber

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  13 years ago

  Well, my ATF no longer dances, but when she did, she asked my what I thought about her moving in with another customer. I didn't think it was a good idea, but she did anyway. Didn't last all that long and she is better off for leaving.
• sharkhunter

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  13 years ago

  I tend to be distracted in strip clubs and looking for rings on fingers is something I never seem to notice unless it scratches me. I've had a few dancers tell me they were married but then they continued to treat me the same as before. One or two dancers told me they were unhappily married. One told me he was an asshole one night. She was on my lap and all over me but she never tried to do anything I considered extras and I never thought about trying anything out of the ordinary for a high contact club because I remembered she was married. There is one dancer that slept with me so fast I assumed she was single and looking but I did forget to ask. I figure if she knew I would have never agreed to see her if she were married, then she would have lied to me. I try to avoid getting into situations where a horny married dancer or one with a potentially dangerous boyfriend could get angry with me because things went too far. I believe some dancers are looking for replacements to their so's and I don't want to get involved in that.
• sharkhunter

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  13 years ago

  About 99.999 percent of dancers I never try to hook up with even though several start making suggestions. I do like it when a married dancer volunteers the information to me. I have hooked up with several single dancers. If a dancer tells me she is married and she tries to hook up with me, I won't. Since hooking up is not something I think about, just trying to have a little bit of fun, asking if a dancer is single or not or has a boyfriend is usually something I always forget to ask about. A lot of dancers volunteer the information to me without me even asking if I see them more than once or twice. I appreciate that since I don't care for all the games. Of course one dancer could lie to try to catch me off guard. People lie all the time in strip clubs.
• mmdv26

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  13 years ago

  At the club, the participants know their roles. The so's bf's gf's etc. understand that they are not included in the sensual/sexual encounter, and have to be satisfied knowing that they benefit in some other way - like bf gets some money or drugs from dancer's earnings. The only complete loser is the s.o. (wife or gf) of the customer who pays for the dances. That person gets nothing in return, and probably loses out on money given to dancer. The hell a jealous boyfriend or husband of a dancer must live in can hardly be imagined. It is imperative that such a person understands his/her role, and accepts it. The whole concept of strip club is so false and deceiving as to render rings just a simple ornament while on duty. After work all of that can change.
• johnbrwon001

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  13 years ago

  Not looking for anything long term or any kind of commitment from the dancers so their relationship matters little to me. Most dancers are pretty honest and upfront about their bfs or hubbies and most sound like complete losers. As long as they're willing to make me happy that's all I care about.
• bang69

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  13 years ago

  It doesn't matter if the stripper is married or not
• JGoose

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  13 years ago

  I would prefer that they didn't tell me if they had a boyfriend or husband. Once they say that, the fantasy dies, and since I will not mess around with another mans woman, I can not get a dance from her. But that's just me.
• Dudester

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  13 years ago

  IMO-a stripper is s sex worker. Her BF/SO knows that she's coming home with the spit of a dozen men on her nipples. If she agrees to go VIP with a customer, at that moment, her BF/SO is insignificant. Furthermore, if she does OTC, a BF/SO should not be part of the equation in the act or transaction. On the other hand, if she's holding back because she has a BF/SO at home, she should re-evaluate her profession.
• georgmicrodong

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  13 years ago

  Dudester, what do you mean by "holding back"? IMO, if she's not making money servicing at her comfort level, whether that be air dancing or bareback P2A2M, *that* should be the evaluation point, not whether she's "holding back" something because of a BF/SO/H. If having a relationship makes her unwilling to perform at some level, then she shouldn't perform at that level. If she's still making money, and can do it without misleading her customers, then I don't see a problem.
• rickdugan

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  13 years ago

  I steer clear of married dancers. I have never, ever arranged an outing with a dancer who admitted to being married, or even had a particularly good time ITC with one. Between the vows that many seem to take seriously and the fact that their husbands often also work, thereby making them less desperate for the $$$, upside potential with them always seems to be low. Nope, I'll continue to enjoy my time wading through the fields of needy single mothers, thank you very much. Shit, over the years I think I've fed more kids than the Save the Children Foundation ;)
• thesamurai

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  13 years ago

  I don't care if she has a bf or is married. I also don't care about whatever problems she is having with them. Keep that shit out of the club. If I find out the hubby or bf work or hang out at the club though, I will steer clear of her. Too much potential for SS becoming My S there. Its probably just me but the girls I have the best time with either are single or pretend to be.
• gatorfan

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  13 years ago

  Lying thieving whores marry PL
• minnow

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  13 years ago

  kd- If you're who I think you are, you have a few months to figure out how wearing a wedding/engagement ring will affect your earnings. That said, I have very little clue as to the marital status of my various "faves". I don't bring up their marital status in conversation. I assume most dancers have SO/BF/GF anyway. I don't recall noticing a "ring" on any dancer, may have missed it on some dancers wearing a lot of jewelry. If I were to actually encounter a dancer obviously wearing ring, that would probably kill the fantasy element for me if I were meeting her for the 1st time. If I had prior good sessions with a familiar dancer, the continued quality of the sessions would dictate my continued spending on the particular dancer. Agree with samurais' last 3 sentences.// rd- I dub thee Sir Rick,OTWK.
• JuiceBox69

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  13 years ago

  I have 2 atf n 2 different clubs both r married and both r great at giving me some otc all they say is my husband is out of town and that's my green light for otc hot damn !that 2 can be a fantisy
• motorhead

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  13 years ago

  I have accepted the fact that all dancers have some sort of S/O. It's unrealistic to think that any woman, as hot as many dancers are, is going to be unattached. So I don't mind the fact they have a BF, but I don't like the see the BF...whether they drop them off at the club or have pictures posted on Facebook, or come into the club.
• Alucard

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  13 years ago

  Don't care about their status, as long as I get what I want & avoid SS!