The Reality of It All

You can dwell on that reality (which is probably the reality for most of us) or you can ignore it and get into the fantasy of it all. On my last club visit I had two very attractive young women in a row grinding on me like we were having sex. The reality is that if i didn't pay them they most likely would never do that. Am I fooling myself? Sure, but we fool ourselves all the time to make life interesting. There is, IMHO, nothing wrong with it as long as you keep the right perspective.

If Amber is one of your ATF's best friends, maybe she's also been staying away from you as to not seem like she's trying to steal a customer.

Let's say you're running a business from a place in a shopping mall. There's someone who comes and hangs around your shop, but he's never going to buy what you're selling. You know that and he knows that. But there are other people who come to your shop and buy. So ... are you going to spend time chatting with the guy who is never going to spend anything at your shop, knowing he's going to spend his money in the shop next door, just to be kind to the owner of the mall?

Remember, these girls are NOT employees paid to charm the club's customers. They are individual business operators working out of the club. They're there to make money for themselves, not to help other girls (call it what you want, but those are her competitors), just to please the owner of the club.

I agree with ohioman

Ohioman and Stiletto make good points and I can understand that position. However, I have had good success in maintaining a "conversational relationship" shall we say, with many dancers whom I have stopped getting dances from. We still speak to each other, and are otherwise friendly. This is even though, in some cases, I started to like dancer friends of theirs that they actually introduced me to.

There are always exceptions, but you do have to realize its mostly (if not completely) about the money. Don't dwell on this, just indulge yourself a bit in the fantasy and enjoy it for what it is.

This has never been my experience as a dancer. I do see a point to interacting with customers who won't spend money on me. It creates an atmosphere and adds to the overall fantasy for customers. While I won't spend more than a few minutes talking to someone who won't buy a dance, I will chat for a bit because I know that word of mouth is great advertising, and if I can build a good reputation as a friendly person with interesting things to say who also happens to have a great ass, there's no harm in that. So when I'm not busy, I spend time establishing a little rapport.

On that same token, the girls at the club I work at often go out of their ways to help one another. If a guy won't get a dance with you, he might like another girl, and if you can set them up together, that girl might return the favor in the future.

I guess every dancer and club is different, but to me, being polite, helpful, and friendly has been profitable, and even if it's not, I don't see much harm in it.

Yeah, I understand everyone's point....but after seven years, it seems I warrant a smile and a hello or something. Makes me, well kind of paranoid, like I have cooties or something. And maybe sometime I'll drop my ATF, so don't ya think the other one should be at least "cultivating" a relationship so when I'm ready for a change, she would be in the running. That's just good salesmanship.

kumasdaisy- "I can build a good reputation as a friendly person with interesting things to say who also happens to have a great ass"

Along with having a great ass, eh? Well, how are we suppose to know that? lol. You're such a tease, kuma. ;)

Seems to me that if maintaining good relations with all the dancers is a priority then it wouldn't be a bad idea to spend some time at the tip rail and spread some wealth around.

I guess I'm different because if I'm at a club to see my ATF(s), the LAST thing I want is to be pestered by a girl I have no interest in and no intentions of dropping any money on. It's a mood-dampener for me to have to say, "Sorry, but I'm here for ------." I cherish the ones who get it and usually reward them with stage tips for not pestering me, hoping to take money out of my ATF's pocket.

"I mentioned that "Amber", one of her best friends, has NEVER spoken with me once over the past seven years."

Motor - Wow, 7 years and nada? Not even a, "F.U. you cheap bastard!" ? ;-)

An ATF's BFF that hasn't said so much as a "hi" after seven years is indeed a bit odd.

And her was reply was, "Is he going to buy dances from me?" and my ATF replies, "NO", so Amber responds, "Then why should I talk to him."

Amber sounds like a bitch. You're better off not having to talk to her.

If you don't plan to get a dance from her then that shouldn't bother you, but if you really want to change her mind then start buying dances from the best friend and explain to your ATF if you have to that you want to expand your horizons a little.

I mean think about it. People are beast of habit. If a friend of yours has been going to the same pizza restaurant A for 10 years and one night you ask him if he wants to go out for pizza at restaurant A or restaurant B which one do you expect him to choose? You might as well have just said "Lets go out to eat at restaurant A." If you want your friend to go to restaurant B then you say "Lets go out to eat at restaurant B tonight. I'm getting tired of the same old."

In your case, I don't think the girl is being shallow as much as she is being rational and from the sounds of it, you want her to make an effort to impress you when you also have the power to impress her and change her opinion. Simply buy her a drink or a dance and see where it goes. It all comes down to her work is your pleasure, so you have to pay to play.

As a former business owner, it would be stupid to ignore a customer for any reason, even if both of you know no business is going to transpire. Things do not remain the same forever! It the case of motorhead, if he and she were speaking of an involved conversation, not a problem, but a courteous "Hello, how are you this evening?", would hurt no one and take little time.

Hey troop. You're supposed to type something in the box before you hit "post comment". That makes about 6 today. Are you just trying to boost you comment count?

Troop - A little early to be hitting the sauce, eh buddy?

there's a method to my madness guys

Do tell, troop. LOL

you already know vince, just don't mention it out in public.
i just pm'd shadow and i'm about to pm steve

btw, just for the record i couldn't care less about post counts.

Hey, I already know vince!

Back to the topic at hand. A stripper with a poor understanding of business principles. Yeah, that's a possibility.

LMAO, troop, now I understand.

I gotta say that I'm with "Amber" on this one.

Now, there are several dancers that will sit and talk with me for an hour for just one lousy dance when they could be hitting up others for a VIP for 15-25 times as much money. But that's because I made the initial investment with more dances from her in earlier visits. Then we talk, she discovers I'm not an asshole and can carry on a conversation, and so she's glad to see me even if I don't represent a lot of cash that night.

These dancers are at their job, and as stated, they're independent contractors, not employees. Go into any crowded store at the mall, find a salesgirl who you don't know, and try to get her to talk to you for 15 minutes about nothing in the store. When you're successful with that, then you can be pissed at Amber.