Old age and treachery overcomes youth and skill
steve229
"...a cute girl that Ive seen there before but never had the chance to spend any time with named Cassie was onstage so I rushed over to tip her for a little bit. As soon as I sat by the stage she came over and danced and flirted a little and it didnt take long for her "regular" to come over from the bar and start tipping her as well. Knowing the drill, I backed off and started sizing up the rest of the girls. Cassie, who is probably 20 or 21, went straight to the bar and started making out with the guy, who is at least 55-60. I was turned off by that..."
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But, see, I go to strip clubs IN ORDER to find available girls. The LAST thing in the world that I would want, is to have a clear and present indicator that the girl isn't "interested" in me as a partner for the limited time I would pay for. I am a total failure at dating-mating-boys-meet-girls games in the REAL world, because they're too subtle. I never read the cues right, and I haven't learned to "dance the dance" the way we're "supposed to" (and, as an aside, I also suspect that the "dance" is generally set up in favor of the female and to the detriment of the male, but that's a different issue). I'm kind of "aspergers" about hooking up with people, and I HATE the fact that the real world puts such an onus of performance and bad-person good-person judgment onto the top of this whole mating ritual, such that the typical understanding is, that if you can't pick up girls, that's because you're a LOSER and therefore LESS WORTHWHILE AS A HUMAN. This is a downer, this whole system, for me.
So my visits to strip clubs are about AVOIDING that game, and instead being able to rely on the more straightforward indices of potential contact, and the more cut-and-dried systems of interaction: I am clean, decent, polite, intelligent, generally smart and humorous; I am willing to spend cash and to respect her limits. Therefore, I get some tits mashed up in my face. That's WHY I'm at a strip club. I know it's a fantasy, but it's one that I rely on, for my strip-clubbing benefits. Without that fantasy, without that straightforward cut-and-dried set of rules, strip-clubbing is just more of the real world with all of the real world's detriments, for me.
It brings me totally down, therefore, if I see a hot young female thang making out with someone -- whether or not the guy is an older gent -- and then showing interest in him in that real-world kind of way. He has "won" her according to the "dance" that I am very bad at dancing. All that I can naturally conclude is, that this gal has decided the guy is someone in whom she is interested in a way that I will never achieve. He doesn't resemble an asperger's sufferer; I do. I don't want the reminder.
Therefore, whereas it's true, as SuperDude says, that strip-clubs aren't high-school dating and any girl can hang with any guy she wants without having to suffer the censure of her onlookers, as long as she figures that she really likes the guy's company and he knows how to pick her up and get her to be with him; nevertheless, strip-clubs for me can also be BETTER than high-school dating because any girl can hang with me, and yet I DON'T KNOW HOW to pic her up and get her to be with me and make her figure that she really likes me.
I go to strip clubs in order to NOT be reminded that I can't get hot chicks to be my girlfriend. I am there because I can't get a hot chick in the real world, I fail in the competition with higher-achieving males and their "mojo" and "secret sauce" and "je ne sais quois" which evidently I will always lack, but despite these weaknesses in the real world, I can still PAY for a hot chick in the strip club. Therefore, probably the last thing in the world that I want at a strip club, is for some higher-achieving male to show me that he's landed a hot chick in the strip club, and for the hot chick in the strip club to start acting the way hot chicks in the real world act toward me and toward him.
Strippers? Do me a favor, gals: don't remind me that I'm a pathetic loser who can only get chicks by paying for them. Instead, please act like you like me despite the fact that the only way you'd ever meet is if I pay for your time in a strip club. Please do NOT act like you like some other guy even though he did NOT necessarily pay for your time in a strip club. If you find that he's so charming ya gotta make out with him? Don't do it in front of me in a strip club. Take him home with you, fuck him for real in the real world, and stop ruining my fully-paid-for fantasy.
Or give me my money back. :)
I've been the regular she comes back to when she gets off the stage, and it's not unusual for her to give someone a dance. 'Course, I'm not spending big money in the club, but outside, and she knows how to get the real money from me.
I don't mean to DEFEND this attitude. It's really pretty lame, on my part. I can just SEE a few hot women enjoying themselves as customers at a strip club, and end up getting a depressed and downer feeling that lasts for the rest of the night. In fact, I make unnecessary assumptions about those women: I assume they're hot and desirable (I can't really see them all that well, and they aren't disrobing; and I certainly don't know what their behavior is like for the rest of the week); I assume that the men with them aren't getting cockteased, but actually are fucking them like crazed rabbits every chance possible; I assume they aren't paid escorts but instead are actual girlfriends of the men with them; I assume that I can't possibly have one of those women for myself; I assume that the whole problem is some kind of "system" in North American (I used to say, "the West," but now I'm thinking that parts of Europe aren't so fucked up as us) in which the dating-mating game is geared toward women "using" the men for relationship-destructive ego-boosts, despite women's supposed interest in a committed, long-term relationship with a caring, sensitive man; I assume ...
Oh I assume so much, when I make this wrong association. But it just "happens." And the only point I'd make about it, is, that a stripper can either use my fantasy for her benefit, or she can foolishly destroy my fragile fantasy, to the detriment of the earning power of EVERY girl in the club that night, by bringing her real-world-style hook-up methods into the strip club and showing them off.
He NEVER went to the stage to tip her when she was dancing but sent other dancers up with a wad of money. And that was ONLY after newbies, who hadn't learned he was her REGULAR, had already competed to drop ever increasing $$$ on stage in hopes of getting an LD.
After their VIP he left the club and she went to the backstage, dressed and left. She never danced with any other customers [but gladly accepted their tip$$] and rarely worked nights when he wasn't coming in.
Learned from other dancers that he wasn't just her regular he was her ONLY regular. Basically, she was a paid escort; the guy liked to show off by getting off in the club. She got to work at the club because her regular was "connected" and the club owner wasn't going to object. Some other dancers complained that "goldie" never paid her full tip out but that may have been envy or SS.
Several times at Bazookas I saw well-dressed businessmen with stylishly dressed business women. From repeated contact the BZ dancers had identified these women as upscale escorts who were paid as companions for these guys from the after business meeting cocktail party / dinner to the extracurriculars in the hotel room and late breakfast in the AM.
So the dancer-older gent make out can be golddigger-sugar daddy affair, not true love and paid escorts who don't look like hookers do visit SCs with their "dates."
...or you ARE the old dude she's making out with, lol.