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I can't help it if she wouldn't believe me.

A couple of nights ago, I'm in a club I've only been to a couple of times, and this skinny no-butt dancer in leather with a riding crop comes over to me and starts with a predictable gambit.

Her: (smacking her hand with the crop) So, have you been a bad boy? Do you need a spanking?
Me: No. If there's any spanking to be done, I'll be the one doing it, thanks.
Her: OK, that'll work, too. Here give me a little swat.
Me: No thanks. If I can't do it hard, it ain't worth doing.

About this time, the bartender comes over to watch, obviously waiting for the opportunity to ply me for a drink.

Her: (shoves the crop into my hand) Come on, just one light one.
Me: No, if I do it, it's going to be hard. It will hurt.
Her: (turns around) Go ahead.
Me: I'm telling you, you probably won't like it, and I don't want you getting pissed at me because I did exactly what I said I would.
Her: Just a little one. Not too hard.
Me: No. I want to *hurt* you.
Her: (looks at me for a second) Alright, I'm ready.
Me: Last warning.
Her: (nods)

At this point, I wind up and smack her square in her leather covered nutty cheek, the meaty part where it really stings on bare skin. She let's out a yelp that every one in the, admittedly small, place hears, stops what they're doing and looks over.

Her: Hey, that really hurt!
Bartender: No shit, girl, he said he was gonna make it hurt!
Her: But I didn't really think he would!
Me: I don't lie about that sort of thing.

I hand her back her crop, and she heads to the other side of the bar rubbing her butt.

When I left, she was still looking over at me occasionally, so I walked over to her, gave the bartender $25, and told her to give the girl a drink as I left. That's actually encouraging enough that I think I may have to stop back and see if she wants an extended repeat performance. Worth a shot, even if she wants to start out a little lighter.