Ever feel bad for a dancer?

oh, oh - this feels like a bad case of the White Knight Syndrome ;)

I've tried being the White Knight a couple of times. As much as they say they want to change, truth is, they don't. I even have the "you're a nice guy, but..." speech down pat. Translated "You nice nice man. Don't you know I'll never be happy unless some large meth head is slapping me around."

It is funny how many guys want to save a dancer AFTER the girl has given him a lap dance or even "other services.” ;)

A girl that dances cannot be "saved." There is usually a reason that she dances in the first place. How many well adjusted girls do you find in a SC? I could count them on one hand in all the years I've been doing this (and that assumes the few I am thinking about were not lying).

I wouldn't be surprised if the girl that was "helped" went online to SW or one of the other sites later that night and bitched about the White Knight guy who burned an hour of her time trying to "save her" and didn't even pay her :)

Just wondering whether any Bible preaching groups have ever "raided" a strip club "to save people"? You know, entered with Bibles in hand preaching scripture and confronting dancers and patrons, etc.? Now THAT would make the news for sure...

Aye, CTQWERTY, it's happened to me. Last Samhain, during my set on stage, I wore a nun's wimple and white gloves, for the sacrilegious element. When I descended the stage and made my way to the bar to check up on a customer who had been eyeing me during my dance, an older gentleman strode toward me angrily and proceeded to give me a five minute lecture on how my attire was "evil" and "blasphemous." He ended by trying to save me -- I laughed and said a 'real Christian wouldn't be in a strip club, you hypocrite.' He left. I have NO tolerance for preachy fundamentalists -- I'll respect your religion if you stay out of my face about it.

When you stop thinking about screwing her up and more about her job screws her up you need a break or move on to a different girl before you dump a ton of cash trying to save her.

LOL nice one fetish_dancer

Not all White Knight acts are futile. Some strippers can be saved. I helped a dancer emotionally and financially 3 years ago. I had known her for about 7 years. I helped her through a divorce with her loser husband, a custody battle and launch a new career(paramedic) I gave her (not loaned) about $2,000 during this time. A drop in the bucket for me. Last week I paid cash for a brand new 2011 Mustang GT(6 speed 5.0 litre V8). She is now talking about buying a house and eventually a Mustang.So what did I get in return? A great friendship. We are having lunch together this Friday in Columbia SC. To illistrate, below is an email from her on June 4th. We have talked on the phone since then and I emailed her photos of my Mustang. If I were 30 years younger, I would marry her.

Hi honey:) How are you..sorry about taking so long to get this, between work, not feeling well and helping my mom deal with my dad being gone..(died)it has been crazy around here. I am on my 4th day in a row and still have 2 more to go before i get a day off. I am glad that u are having success with the AA meetings. I am very proud of you. I can't believe they gave XXX 5 years, there must be something horrible on that computer. I hope he will get out before then, that is crazy! They are actively working on this months schedule as we have several employees taking vacation this month with the fire convention in town..ugh. I will call you as soon as I have a day off considering we are now 2 and can't use cell phones during work hours and I don't get off until late so I don't want to call you in the middle of the night. I hope to talk to you soon!
Love You Much
S_____:)(gridget)

I didn't lose a stripper. I gained a daughter.

Saving is probably the wrong word to use. Helping those who help themselves. If anyone does not want to help themselves there is nothing anyone can do to help. I think offering advice and direction to anyone, not only strippers but anyone we meet or know is good for all. There is nothing wrong with being kind, but there's a fine line between being kind and being taken for a fool.

Somehow it doesn't seem like I should be giving career advice to someone I just paid $20-30 for 3 minutes of "work."

"I didn't lose a stripper. I gained a daughter. " (slowly shakes head)

sc, I'm gonna agree with deogol on this one, for perhaps a different reason. In other posts, you've implied that you've been more than "close" to this young lady. That's not a father-daughter relationship.

potheadpl: Ya' did good. Whether you "save" her or not is not the issue. You dealt with her as a real person and gave her sincere advice that she seemed to appreciate. I've given similar advice on several occasions and never regretted it, regardless of how it turned out.

steve229, I don't think most strippers go asking customers for career advice. This has to be a conversation you might have with an ATF, otherwise why would the customer care less what the stripper does for her career. This topic brought up saving some newbie stripper and I think the idea of saving anyone is ridiculous. Saving a drowning victim maybe, but saving a stripper from her job no.

deogol and george, my real daughter shakes her head too. Perhaps just saying SPECIAL friend would be a better description.

Not many chicks get out of the SC. Seen to many old bitter strippers. Just don't wear your CAPTAIN SAVE-A-HOE shirt to the stripclub, because they will roll right over you. Btw good for you
shadowcat, alot of guys would kill for a special friend like yours.

congrats shadow, whatever the relationship is, but that is a rather unique outcome. These girls have lots of guys giving that type of advice, usually after they come out of the lap dance room with her ;) It is one of the most common stripper complaints.

Normally, you will at best ave a girl who will roll her eyes when you turn your head and, at worst, she will turn your "White Knight" urges into a way to lever money out of you.

But I have to wonder, is it truly an altruistic venture when you get "close" to her while you are "helping her" or was that just coincidence?

And I wonder why so many guys get that surge of altrusim when they are looking at young girls in a SC? I guess the SC girls are just EXTRA deserving of that special help ;)

rick, I am not sure I understand your meaning. I was not looking to be a White KNIGHT. Just helping a good friend. But in the process, I suppose it must appear that way. Another email from 6/13

Wow she's beautiful!!(Mustang) I love it..you will get used to the power..it took me awhile to get used to it when I had mine...I will have another one some day..lol..can't wait to see it in person! See ya Friday..love ya

Yes. Then I remind myself it's just business.

"She burst into tears and sobbed on my shoulder"

Are you crying? Are you crying? ARE YOU CRYING? There's no crying! THERE'S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL!

To answer the original poster, yes I do feel sorry for them, but by and large, there's nothing you can do about it. You can give them advice if they ask about leaving the business, but they aren't necessarily going to take you up on it. My ATF talks all the time about leaving the business, but she is also one of those meant to be a stripper, especially considering all the Miller Lite she has consumed.

fetish,
loved the post, truly a LMAO moment!
pot,
"save" is a word too loaded to apply to most situations. I think you did right by advising someone who seems to be trouble, both in their personal and professional lives, but whether it makes a difference or not, only the future knows.

Shadowcat... your Gridget sounds genuine. A good person with high morals and ethics.
Just how much influence you had by taking her under your wing by advising her and giving her money (to help her) is something else, entirely. It's possible that she would have ended up making enough money, had the drive and motivation to succeed the way she has, even if she had never met you. But, then it's also possible that without you, she'd still be stripping in some club. I don't know either way so I need to objective.
But, one thing I do know is... your father/daughter relationship, with Gridget, that evolved from customer/stripper relationship is the exception, not the rule.

CT, there's a group run mostly by ex-dancers and/or hookers that does exactly what you described. I forget their name though.

-----------

"I gained a daughter"

...that you apparently want to marry...ugh... You must fit right in there down South scat...yuck!

Rick---I think it's just that this girl looks so young. She could pass for 16, easily. And she seems like a kid. Doesn't smoke, can't drink.

I guess it was the look of hopelessness on her face that got to me. The girl has herself convinced this is ALL she can do. At 18. Sad.

mustang! Good to hear what car you decided on shadowcat. I remember the thread from a few months ago about deciding on what car to buy.

Mostly I feel sorry for those that have no business dancing, but I blame management for that, not the dancers.

Got it pot. Now just so that I am clear, this is the same girl that jumped you in a back room not too long ago (making out, hickey) and now she is blubbering all over you in tears about BF troubles and her life in general?

Like I said before, it is funny how many guys want to save a dancer AFTER the girl has given him a lap dance. ;)

I don't know, she kinda' sounds like a headcase to me, which IMO makes her IDEAL stripper material. She just needs a little time to toughen up and learn the ropes.

Next time tell her to get off her cute but lazy ass and hustle up some lap dances or a VIP or two. Tough love, baby. ;-)

lol steve.

Of course pot, if you REALLY want to help her you could tip her for her time while you share all of this wonderful advice that she has never heard before. This would help alleviate one of her most pressing issues - money - while also giving her more time to soak up that good life advice.

Of course, nobody here would blame you if there are limits to your altruism ;)

Rick,

You said "I wonder why so many guys get that surge of altrusim[sic] when they are looking at young girls in a SC"

I believe that the answer, at least in part, in many cases, is plain and simple guilt. While I'm sure there are exceptions, I'd guess that a large number of the guys who pull the White Knight routine feel guilty about looking at, touching, and in many cases, fucking, naked girls who are as young as, or in some cases younger than, their own daughters. Trying to help some "poor young thing" with her problems, even if it means never seeing her again, lets them feel a little less bad about themselves, and maybe even a little noble instead, at least for a little while.


I won't claim that this is the reason for the majority of such actions, but I'd be willing to bet it accounts for a large minority, at least.