gifts for dancers?

avatar for LeeH
LeeH
Georgia
Ever give a (small) gift to a dancer? I've done so on a couple occasions, with better-than-expected results.

1) I knew that my ATF had had a couple of lousy weeks (moreso personal life, than financial) and so I gave her a rose after a VIP. She really, really liked it. When she went back to the dressing room to put it in water, she walked past all the other dancers, holding it VERY conspicuously, so they'd all ask. I thanked her afterward, telling her that it's a massive ego stroke when a guy gives a lady flower(s) and she shows them off to her female friends.

2) Backstory on the other incident. During a VIP with another fave at another club, she asked me a question (I don't recall what it was now) and whatever I answered, she said something like "Don't get all sappy on me now". I told her that I wasn't being sappy, but kept that in mind.

On a previous visit, she had given me a nickname of a particular animal. (No way am I giving that name up. ;-) I got a small (beanie-baby-size) version of that animal and took it on my next visit (after the "sappy" issue). After a VIP, she went to "freshen up" and I ran out to the car to get the stuffed animal. When she came back out on the floor and sat down, I had it on my knee under the table. I asked her, "Would it be too sappy if I gave you this?" and pulled out the animal. To say that she squealed with delight would be a gross understatement. She seemed 100x happier then, than when I had paid her for an hour-long VIP earlier. She took two laps around the club to make sure she showed it to as many dancers as possible, and was still talking about it (to anyone who'd listen) an hour later.

So am I just a nice guy or a PL ? ;-)

Seriously, though, it's not like I'm trying to get a dancer to be my girlfriend. But are my actions *that* out of the norm?

39 comments

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avatar for mmdv26
mmdv26
15 years ago
What you did was fine. It made her happy to get a gift from you, and it probably made you happy to give it.

I had a disappointment once when I took an dancer shopping, and later found out she was trying to sell the gifts (clothes) to other dancers in he club. I confronted her about it, and of course she denied it. Maybe the girls who told me she was offering the stuff were lying...SS.

I don't buy gifts anymore, and I don't tip generously either. I tell 'em they're lucky to have a regular who does 4 or 5 dances each visit, and pay scale. Of course extra's usually involve "merit pay".
avatar for skeets35
skeets35
15 years ago
Yeah, they are out of the norm. This is a professional relationship, not personal. You pay them to make you feel good. If you make it personal you are heading down a dangerous path.

Treat them nice, be respectful, but realize they only give a shit about your wallet.
avatar for LeeH
LeeH
15 years ago
skeets, please up the reading comprehension level. I specifically said that I wasn't trying to get a dancer to be my girlfriend.
avatar for SuperDude
SuperDude
15 years ago
I have given gifts with mixed results. I really believe reactions vary by individual personalities. One dancer looked at the gift, smiled and said she would have rather had the money. Another shed real tears and said no one had ever been so nice to her. A third made so much of a fuss that other dancers asked me why her and not them. It's all unpredictable.
If you enjoy giving gifts then do it. Don't expect anything in return and you might get an occasional surprise.
avatar for samsung1
samsung1
15 years ago
If they have young children, then gifts for the children will help you get brownie points...but as always, cash or drugs will work best with strippers.
avatar for Dudester
Dudester
15 years ago
OTC Gal had a birthday in June. I met her at the club-bringing in a special card and a vase with two very beautiful violet colored carnations.

While I was waiting for her, several dancers saw the flowers and wanted them. So, if you're looking for a better than average time, bring in flowers.
avatar for gatorfan
gatorfan
15 years ago
what's the lesson learned by the gift giving? if the girl had the choice she would rather get the money, otherwise sure she'll accept your gifts or flowers.
avatar for imnumnutz
imnumnutz
15 years ago
we've had this discussion before, so forgive me if you've already read this. May ATF and I usually ended up in the same vip room. so I went to my computer and printed out a nice "proclamation" for lack of better words, comemmorating our use of the space, and put it in a nice, inexpensive frame. this was 2 years ago, and she still talks about it...
avatar for jablake
jablake
15 years ago

It has always worked better than cash. I like giving gifts that the person receiving will truly like and this goes for strippers and just ordinary boring folks. Gave some winos "bad" wine (a couple cases)-----I explained that the wine didn't agree with *my* taste buds and if it didn't taste good dump it! The winos loved the shit----all they cared about was the alchohol and thought it was insane that I'd give it away.

In the immorality of lore a man saw me giving wine away and wanted to buy. I explained it was bad to anyone that knew this particular wine (it was bad)----it was only good for winos from what I could tell. He argued buyer beware!!! I sold and was probably wrong to do so because he would sell at a high mark up not giving a damn that his customers *may* be very unhappy.

So yeah, I like giving good gifts to strippers and they don't need be expensive and better normally that they aren't unless she really is into that filth. The ol' confelicity at work where giving value is just as good or better than receiving value.
avatar for 1988oim
1988oim
15 years ago
My only problem is that I think you should have given it to her before you went to the VIP room this way you would get better mileage in there.
avatar for LeeH
LeeH
15 years ago
imnumnutz, you're a geek -- I like that!

1988oim, well, it's not like I won't be going back soon, and I don't think she'll forget. ;-)
avatar for LeeH
LeeH
15 years ago
mmdv, you're right -- it made us both happy. Although I appreciate the assurance that it was cool, I was even moreso asking about the "normalcy" of it, and you kinda answered that, too.
avatar for BaddJack
BaddJack
15 years ago
So, am I the only guy that likes to give his girl the classic "pearl necklace" ??
avatar for wallanon
wallanon
15 years ago
No, it's not normal. But who's to say it matters? I'd be more concerned about what prompted the question than the answers.
avatar for Clubber
Clubber
15 years ago
LeeH,

Like everything in our "hobby", there are no set rules. Any advice given here is just that, advice. Do not take anything as gospel. Only experience will teach you, but in my experience, gifts never hurt.
avatar for txtittyfan
txtittyfan
15 years ago
I have never given a gift. I kind of find it creepy. I just enjoy the relationship for what it is.
avatar for Clubber
Clubber
15 years ago
ttf,

Creepy? Care to explain that?
avatar for Digitech
Digitech
15 years ago
^^^ I guess it can come off in a desperate or wierd way.

Last week was the first time I ever gave a stripper a gift.
She didn't seem too surprised or even interested in the gift. Not really the reaction I was hoping for :/
avatar for Clubber
Clubber
15 years ago
Dt,

You could be correct, but I was thinking along the lines of giving a gift to a dancer one knows and not just on a first time meeting.
avatar for txtittyfan
txtittyfan
15 years ago
I think it borders on being obsessed with the dancer. Now if I knew the dancer outside the club, a gift outside the club would be different.

I have seen patrons throw flowers on stage and give flowers directly as if to win special favor. It just strikes me as unecceassary and that the giver is cluless.

As nice a guy as Shadowcat may be, if I were to see a fat old man giving candy to dancers all day I would find that creepy. Just my personal perspective and bias.

We are there for entertainment and T & A. The dancers are there for our money.
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
15 years ago
fxtittyfan, FYI, I will be 68 in Jan. I am 5'10 1/2". 156lbs. I have never been fat. I only have had one same day surgery. Hernia repair. I am otherwise in perfect health physically.

Now mentally, You might say, I was/am fucked up. I have probably given more gifts that the rest of you combined.

Besides the candy that I always carry with me. there have also been home burned CD's and DVD's, gum, 2 birthday cakes,sample bottles of perfume at Xmas(larger ones for my favorites), a used computer console,an art print of butterflies,cards/letters, pickled eggs, potato salad, Watergate salad, Hickory farm's Summer sausage along with cheese and crackers(in the club and my mail), a 6 foot stuffed animal (dragon), flowers from my yard and by FTD, Sees candy by mail, Omaha steaks by mail, many lunches, And when I recognized the need MONEY. I gave $1,000 to my favorite charity last week.

I can afford all of these things, even though I am retired. You can't take it with you. My kids have been well taken care of in the form of my will. The thanks that I get, make it worth wile and I will continue as long as I enjoy it and my health allows it.
avatar for gatorfan
gatorfan
15 years ago
If you give a gift, you might as well give one which will benefit you as well. For instance: boxes of condoms, perfume yuo like, lube, or anything else which could enhance lap dance experience.
avatar for lopaw
lopaw
15 years ago
I've never given dancers anything but cold hard cash, often tipping generously for services rendered. I'm not real big on receiving gifts myself, so I don't give dancers any. I agree with others that it may come across as creepy or desperate under certain circumstances.
avatar for Clubber
Clubber
15 years ago
Might be an "age" thing, but I agree with shadow. Perhaps the younger are less generous.
avatar for brewerfan
brewerfan
15 years ago
Really, what is the purpose of giving a dancer a gift? I mean, you know that they have to like it, whatever u give them. To me, it's all an act. Think of it this way, if you bought a dancer flowers and she didn't seem to appreciate it that much, would you wanna do dances with her afterward. Heck no!! So, it's all an act. The bottom line is that they all want cash. After all, flowers don't pay the bills. But, it all goes back to what i first asked, "what is the purpose of giving a dancer a gift?" I do believe that guys want a girlfriend out of it.
avatar for samsung1
samsung1
15 years ago
I heard a story from a non-tuscl strip club buddy about when he gave a gift card to a dancer...she had always paid cash for everything in her life and asked him questions about using the gift card? ("do you have to use it all at once?") Maybe she was playing dumb in order to make herself seem more attractive or maybe she truly was ignorant enough to have never used a gift card/credit card before.
avatar for steve229
steve229
15 years ago
I was getting ready to take my “broke ass” home, when my baby got called to the stage. I went by the stage to tip her on my way out, but when I started going thru my pockets found out I really was broke – not even a dollar on me. The only thing I came up with was a couple rolls of those “Smarties” candies. I shrugged and sheepishly showed her the candy in my hand, but she smiled, said “I love smarties!”, and held her garter open so I could slip them in. Maybe not really a gift, but definitely the strangest tip I ever gave
avatar for judyjudy
judyjudy
15 years ago
www.secretsinlace.com

Please inquire further for address and shipping directions.
avatar for gatorfan
gatorfan
15 years ago
jamie, I dont think the gift givers on this forum are trying to score a GF out of it, I think it's an old school polite gesture. I personally am not a big believer in giving strippers gifts especially since 1 girl has said rather make cash/do more dances.
avatar for jablake
jablake
15 years ago
"Really, what is the purpose of giving a dancer a gift? I mean, you know that they have to like it, whatever u give them."

No, they don't have to like it. It should be child's play to read whether she is being polite or she actually likes it. I gave a gift and the dancer made it MASSIVELY clear she didn't like or want the gift! Guess what??? I insisted she try it. She starts yapping that she has tried it and isn't going to try again. Of course, I don't play that idiocy. I wanted her to try and insisted. Extremely reluctantly and after plenty of whining she tried. That is all I required. She hates it, then not a problem. She loves then fantastic. She loved it. Believe me this dancer isn't some mindless pussy afraid to show her true feelings and express 'em with a vengeance. God, I love the hood----with the whole damn country could be turned into the hood.

I feel contempt toward most manners and prefer the dancer be from the hood. IOWs, the dancers don't need to claim she likes. With the dancer who didn't want to try----the agreement was that if she didn't like it after trying then BINGO she doesn't have to like 'em. I didn't need to hear BS that she'd already tried 'em----she tried the filth that I can't stand either. So she is in love with 'em-----does she call 'em by their correct name? No, she insisted on referring to them with the wrong name because that is what she insisted they were. They weren't what she believed and refused to use the correct name. BTW, it is impressive the number of imbeciles who refuse to use the correct name. Just amazing.

What is the purpose? A little concept known as confelicity. Yep, confelicity. Another dancer threw a hissy fit over a puzzle book-----she knows she is too dumb to solve the puzzles. I insisted. Any surprise there? Months later I notice puzzle books in her car! Guess what? She not only loved the puzzle book after first declaring holy war against me, but she used her own money to buy more and was teaching her kid and sister and mom how to solve 'em. Besides confelicity was there any reason that I went on a limb and bought what I knew she'd declare holy war over? Yep, yes, affirmative, she needed a boost in self-esteem. Most people are slow and even highly intelligent people are slow in some areas-----she needed to know that she could solve complex puzzles despite her supposed lack of intelligence.

avatar for jablake
jablake
15 years ago

The mullet story of the ages. As child, I had all manner of smoked mullet shoved down my throat. I *did* HATE, DETEST, REVILE, LOATHE, ECT. smoked mullet. Finally, I got some muscle and don't need to put up with these nasty smoked mullet forced on me by "do-gooders." The game had changed.

An old man starts practically crying that I need to try his smoked mullet. I explicate the whole sad history of all the wrongs done against me in the name of smoked mullet. He promises that his smoked mullet is wholly different. Please he just try it he keeps whining. I ask what part of my story did you fail to comprehend? This is truly nasty shit and I'm sick to death of the smoked mullet and feel a total rage at the mere mention. I felt like beating this old pathetic man into the ground, but I figure let me just spit some mullet in his face. That will teach the asshole a much needed lesson.

Disbelief-----I loved his smoked mullet. Decades later I kept searching for another who knew how to smoke mullet. It is heaven. To the old man was it total heaven once my eyes lit up and I exclaimed this it is fantastic!!! :) He told he'd been working on his secret recipe and smoking for over 25 years and this was his best batch ever. He thought he was going to get rich-----I'd be in line eager to buy.

avatar for brewerfan
brewerfan
15 years ago
exactly gatorfan; so, when u do give gifts to a stripper, do u expect an even better relationship with that dancer? I guess a better question is, "how far do u plan on going with her by giving her gifts?" Or do u expect nothing? I mean, u mentioned the purpose was to be a polite gesture. So, wouldn't spending you're hard-earned money on a girl be considered polite enough? I mean, of all the girls you see in that club, you chose her, shouldn't she appreciate that enough as is.

Now, Jablake, you said a girl hated your gift u gave her; how did that make u feel? really? Did that make u want to go to VIP lounge with her and get dances with her. I mean, for a girl, sorry, person, to tell you that she hated the gift u got her, that's just plain ruid. And as far as the puzzles you gave that one girl, really, what was the point in that? I mean, seriously, I don't think strippers are far from stupid. They are not dumb at all. I mean first of all, most of them strip to get through college. They are very intelligent.
avatar for jabthehut
jabthehut
15 years ago
Used to have an ATF that I would give a Gift Card to on BD and at Christmas and for her sons BD. She worked at a no contact club (local ordinance) but she would always let me suck on a tit (covered it up with her long hair). Heck, I even went to her house for her son's BD once. I had no delusions about a relationship with her other than stripper-customer but I always knew she would sit and talk with me the whole time I was in the club.
avatar for jablake
jablake
15 years ago

I appreciated that she was so in my face with stories of a tortured childhood to boot and it reminded me of my mullet story; adults can be cruel to children. Besides, I knew that if she tried it that she'd love it. Here in Miami the street vendors sell this nasty fruit and for some strange reason everyone thinks the fruit that I have is the same one. They don't even look the same; one is green and the other is red---also one has soft white flesh and the other has orange fiberous flesh----one has smooth skin and the other is like sandpaper with bumps. But, stripper or no stripper it is normally claimed in this area that they're the same. Apparently being round and growing in bunches and coming from a large tree makes 'em equal??? Weird, but that is how it is. And, for cultural reasons it seems that mine will be grouped and named with the nasty fruits forevermore. Reminds me of "sapote" which among some indian tribes is the name for all soft fruits----the indians think giving different fruits different names is insanity and state be lucky you have fruit!!! What a bunch of loonies, imo, and that anti-naming of fruit is found right here in Miami.

Point about the puzzle book was she had low self-esteem and time to burn during slow hours. The puzzle book was met with the extreme dislike that I anticipated. Her negative reaction was what I expected and it was only a hope that she'd come to appreciate the puzzles. A very happy surprise that she actually started buying her own puzzle books and then went further to online puzzles. :) Her reaction didn't bother me at all and I even found it amusing.
avatar for samsung1
samsung1
15 years ago
gator, If a dancer ever told me that she would rather have cash/more dances I would peg her as a ROB
avatar for CarolinaWanderer
CarolinaWanderer
15 years ago
I have never given a gift to a dancer. I might if it was something that related to one of my favs and would likely bring a laugh.

I did once tip a dancer $100 over the normal dance and HJ amount. She was trying to make extra money to fly to her home town because a relative was gravely ill. Yeah, it might have been SS, but her reaction made me think otherwise. I saw her a couple of times later, but we never really had any special relationship other than mutual respect.

That said, I don't think that would ever happen again.
avatar for jablake
jablake
15 years ago
LATEST AND GREATEST GIFT?!

Since you're so curious, I'll share and elaborate. ***SUNPASS*** That be right a government privilege to drive on certain roads. A wacked gifted to give a stripper? Hopefully. :)

Anyway, a stripper had a problem raking up hundreds of dollars worth of violations due to not paying the tolls-----usually she'd mail in the dollar, but that didn't always work resulting in a loss of $$$ to her purse. Since she didn't have any ideaological problems with having SUNPASS the solution to losing hundreds of dollars was straight forward. Buy a SUNPASS! I'd suggested she do that, but no she raked up hundreds more in violations instead of buying the SUNPASS. She thought the SUNPASS was too complicated . . .

How did I know about her ticket problems? Well, she got arrested for driving with a suspended license. Nagged her into calling an attorney to fix the problem and she chooses the cheapest ticket attorney which is a good start. He, however, was an ignoramus and said nothing could be done. That's it she refuses to contact any other attorneys. A single attorney opines the law says X and by god that is that---typical cattle class mentality. *I* called another ticket attorney and he solved the problem cheaply and quickly. Stripper says how did I know to call another attorney. I explained the law is basically filth that says whatever a judge chooses it to say----it is profitable scam. Besides from reading the rules I knew there were supposed to be remedies available for her type situation.

So, she sees the SUNPASS that I'm giving her and is one unhappy camper-----thinks it is too complex to operate. I explain just stick it on her windshield (I pre-loaded it; yes I knew the vehicle details) and bingo the government just collects the money. I then showed her how to load it online and what a change of attitude. :) Now she loves SUNPASS----no more toll violation tickets or suspended license (for that reason) and it is so easy! :)

No, I don't think she'll be my girlfriend because I gave her the gift of a SUNPASS--------here is a newsflash: I don't want her as my girlfriend and I don't want a girlfriend.

Would she really be happier with a cash gift over the SUNPASS??? I highly doubt it---the cash would be forgotten almost as soon as she received it. Now she has a story and a new skill and a memory that is triggered whenever she does a reload.
avatar for Digitech
Digitech
15 years ago
^^^ Ah, the behavior you're talking about is soooooo stereotypical of strippers.
avatar for jablake
jablake
15 years ago

Yes, sometimes those stereotypes fit perfect. I believe that if you asked her, she'd probably say that she strongly prefers cash to gifts. Her behaviour belies that.

Customers with money, much more money, than me definitely want her services. Instead she wastes time with me and I need to force her to go to work; I don't want her blaming me later when she has no money in her purse. Instead of SUNPASS let's say the I gave her $20 cash-----that truly has almost no value to her. Hang out with the drug lords and they're handing out $20s like they're $1s.

So should I believe her actions or her words? She says she is all about the money and then don't waste time with a financially depressed old man when they're real customers spending real money. Another benefit of the SUNPASS is now she will teach her friends and family---if she can do it she'll argue, then anyone can, so she gets an ego boost and brownie points. BTW, when she complains something is too complex it seems like she really means it is an unpleasant chore that requires thinking; she is an all pro when it comes to using her cell phone and that phone seems complex to me.
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