When was the last time you saw a really good "feature" dancer?

8/17/2009 11:07:52 PM

It has long been the practice of some clubs to bring in porn stars as feature dancers for limited one or two night gigs. For whatever reason, most of them put on dreadful shows with bad music ("Grease" for example), goofy costumes, and totally unerotic talents (fire breathing and a freaking puppet show--no shit!), then expect you to tip them on stage and buy their videos, photos, etc. It doesn't seem to make a difference whether they are nude or not (the same girl can be nude at one Diamonds and not at the other), the shows are often pretty lame and kinda bring the whole place to an embarrassed standstill (the DJ is screaming to make noise, but nobody is excited by the boring show). Back in the old days, you might run into a "feature" who really rocked it by playing with herself, shooting ping-pong balls out of her pussy, or at least showing some pink; now, its kinda sad to see so much buildup and so little "win".
So here are a couple of questions to ponder:
Has anyone seen a really hot feature lately and what made her good?
Why do porn stars who fuck for a living feel obligated to display lame and unsexy talents totally unrelated to what we all admire (ahem!) them for in the first place?

22 comments

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CCRiderm

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15 years ago

I agree DD. The features that I have experienced just thought we should be in awe just because she was there. What is worse, is I have seen totally anti-social behavior at the tip rail. When a guy put up a dollar, she would come down for the classic "Rub the titties on his face" thank you move. However, instead of the sexy rub, she delivers a left hook to his jaw with a silicone stuffed bag. I saw glasses flying one night and the guys kept tipping!! I wonder how many of them woke up with a black eye or a bruised cheek the next morning. How do you explain THAT to a SO?

I would have thought that filing for assault would have been a better move.....

Yoda

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15 years ago

Never....I generally avoid clubs when there is a feature dancer. They attract a different kind of customer and it tends to put the house girls in a bad mood.

Player11

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15 years ago

I saw this once. It will make your ATF jealous. It is like seeing a celebrity close up and when you going to stage to tip you can sneak a feel. This one had a BF / bodyguard with her handling the props. She put on a sexy show but while watching it I kept thinking about all the fucking she had done....she had said in a web ineterview that her bf understood it was just for work - cmon now that pussy is being stretched big time in the porn flicks and he doesn't care?

harrydave

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15 years ago

Yoda, you stole my word. Never.

Let me ask you guys, when was the last time you saw a beautiful girl with a big rack in an upscale strip club? 'Nuff said.

CTQWERTY

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15 years ago

A contrary viewpoint: Silk Exotic in Milwaukee regularly hosts feature dancers. Why is this a good thing? Because by far the best value here is $1 rail tipping for boobs in face, legs wrapped around head, dancer head in lap, etc.

The $20 dances are topless and one way contact. The champagne room is just as lame. So, for a measely $1 tip, your money goes a long way, including the feature's appearance. Anything else one could spend on at Silk is a rip-off compared to other clubs.

Mobw

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15 years ago

I saw an advertisement for Jenna Haze a few months ago. She was going to be at a few clubs by me in a 2 day span, so I decided to go. Wow, she can put on a show. I was impressed with her. She is really petite which I was not expecting. I was very happy I decided to go see her dance. The best was the club I saw her at was a bikini club and she was toppless for most of her dancing and she even made a with a dancer from the club. It was great to see.

wallanon

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15 years ago

"Let me ask you guys, when was the last time you saw a beautiful girl with a big rack in an upscale strip club?" I don't get it. Without making a list, I've seen at least a few I'd call beautiful (or at least smokin' hot, which is stripper beautiful). Big natural rack would narrow the field, but I'm pretty sure I've seen some in the last year or so.

For the OP, I saw a feature dancer at Secrets in Fayetteville, NC that put on a decent show. A while ago now, but one of the better parts of the routine was when guys could stick dollar bills all over her naked body as she strutted around. Some kind of oil was all over her by then. Not the greatest, but the crowd was into it and it kept me there for an extra half hour. I'd have to go digging for her name.

The last feature I almost saw was at Crazy Horse in SF. I'd missed Jenna Haze by a week, and basically blew off whoever was there since she wasn't a gal I recognized or said porn-o-famer. Next show wasn't until midnight and I had to be up way too early to stick around for a no name.

Clubber

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15 years ago

I've seen two and still waiting for "a really good "feature" dancer".

I believe it was in Key West years ago, that I saw the dancer that ran for governor of CA, I think it was.

harrydave

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15 years ago

Actually, my question was kind of a put-on. In most upscale clubs I have been to, say in Vegas, there are plenty of beautiful women, many with big racks, and some of them have skillful dance routines. So I guess I don't see what is so special about feature acts.

Now, in average clubs and dives, it's a different matter, so a feature girl might be a welcome diversion.

txtittyfan

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15 years ago

The only FD I have seen was Janine around 15 years ago when she was pre-tat and coming off her Blondage tour. It was a pretty hot show.

BaddJack

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15 years ago

Years ago a small-time porn starlet named Blondi Anderson danced at a local club. She was supposed to be a "feature" and her string of "Anal Party XXIV" and "College Bukake III" (or whatever lame movies she had been in) were on sale in the lobby. She acted just like one of the girls. She danced three sets, was passable with OK pole work, came out during the lame times when all dancers came out for the quickie dollar air-dances, and she even came out after her third set and did private dances. She seemed like one of the girls, and was a fair to good dancer. She was, however, very pretty and VERY stacked with huge natural boobs. Her mileage was as high as the club would allow, and I had a great time. So, yeah, I have seen one. One.

samsung1

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15 years ago

a club in Ohio called Columbus Gold has a feature dancer working every weekend. The feature dancers are usually ex porn stars. Columbus Gold lists the features on their website with a couple of pictures. On top of that I use google to find even more pics/videos on the feature dancers. After looking at their videos/pics I realized that I know local strippers who are hotter than these out of town feature dancers!

SuperDude

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15 years ago

Porn stars on the decline become feature dancers, grabbing the last dollars they can. Their only real talent is what we saw in the movies and, in most clubs, they can't do that stuff on stage. Thus, the stage show is boring compared to what we have seen in the movie. We are expected to pay for the aura and and awe of her presence. It's just not worth it, unless the VIP with the feature would match the movie. And that's just not possible. Right?

potheadpl

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15 years ago

I saw Shay Lynn a couple of weeks ago. I was impressed. She was smoking hot---really fit with nice implants. Great pole work. Dynamic personality. She did this cool show where she painted targets on her body with latex and handed out suction cup dart guns. If you got the dart to stick she gave you a picture. It was fun.

The girls at this club are good dancers, but Shay was much more athletic.

DickJohnson

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15 years ago

I once saw Ron Jeremy at the ponderosa sun club...he put on a good show.

imnumnutz

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15 years ago

Penthouse Pet/Playboy Playmate Linn Thomas was by far the best feature. I am totally in the tank for Linn, even though she left the biz years ago. She was beautiful, enthusiastic on stage, and gave pretty decent private dances. A winning, outgoing personality was the icing on the cake.

Very, very few playmates ever go the feature route. From what i've seen, the hot porn stars and penthouse pets used to do frequent club tours, but not as much recently. Oh, sure, occassionally a Jesse Jane or Kaylani Lei will hit the road. For the most part, though, I hardly recongize any of the names of the so-called features that tour today.

Clubber

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15 years ago

imnumnutz,

I didn't recognize the name, Linn Thomas, so looked her up and very happy I did. As one with yellow fever, I just got a shot!

shadowcat

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15 years ago

I like them because while she is on stage there is more privacy in the lap dance rooms.

Techman

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15 years ago

In 50 years at the 'business' I have seen two.
Shadowcat, best idea so far!

clubscanner

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15 years ago

Almost 20 years ago me and some friends stopped at the Admiral Theatre in Chicago as part of a bachelor party celebration. The feature that night was Vanessa Del Rio. She gave a pretty good stage show but some of the regular girls were a little better I must admit. After the stage show she posed for pictures and signed autographs. I posed with her and spoke with her a bit. She was actually smaller then I expected (not a tiny woman, and full figured, but smaller then you would think). I spoke with her for a little while and she was perfectly nice. Feature dancer appearances used to be advertised in the chicago area papers but I have not seen this in a while. I guess you have to go to the clubs web site to find this information now.

That idea about getting a lap dance in the lap dance room during a feature dancer appearance is pretty good. If I ever have a chance to do this, I would.

DoctorDarby

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15 years ago

Thanks for all your responses. I was glad to see some of you remember the old days with the first wave of real porn stars as entertainers in the burlesque theaters. I saw Marilyn Chambers in Cleveland a week before she got busted for giving a customer a BJ in her show. Annie Sprinkle asked me to take polaroids for her in the lobby of the old State Burlesque, but like an idiot, I did not get one for myself. She was the one who shot the ping-pong balls and is now a respected speaker on the college sex-ed ciruit. I don't expect the new features to be like those old timers, but it would be nice if they offered a bit more erotica and a bit less hype to their stage shows. I will say that many of the features I have encountered were quite friendly and avoided the worse excesses of diva behavior, even if they didn't arouse my . . .ahem . . . "interest."

MisterGuy

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15 years ago

"Has anyone seen a really hot feature lately and what made her good?"

Yea, I've never been much on featured dancers (since they usually only cause the cover charge to double), but there was this one Canadian featured dancer that blew me away once at Bar Le Gentlemen in Quebec. Her name & website are in one of my older reviews from there. Her combination of energy, a great, fun attitude, and a really great stage show was a huge surprise to me personally.

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