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What is the dumbest thing you ever had a stripper say to you?

avatar for CCRiderm
CCRiderm
Pennsylvania
What I got last night almost made me fall out of the chair. We were into the second dance in a club that has, shall we say, loose rules.

I slid a hand down and snuck it under her gstring for a little tickle. She kind of squirmed away and brushed my hand aside. I can understand that, every girl has rules and I respect them.

She then looks at me and says....verbatim...."I'm sorry, but I'm really not comfortable with that." Then, after about a 10 second pause with a big smile "Would you like me to give you a BJ instead?"

It took every bit of restraint to not bust out laughing. In my head I'm thinking, "My fingers teasing you makes you uncomfortable, but putting little CC in your mouth doesn't". Go figure.

Gotta love this thing that we do.

31 comments

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avatar for casualguy
casualguy
•
15 years ago
Maybe she considers fingers to be taboo but she's ok with a bigger digit. I wonder how many other girls are like her?
avatar for Philip A. Stein
Philip A. Stein
•
15 years ago
Two words: RED ALERT!!¡!
avatar for samsung1
samsung1
•
15 years ago
yeah how do u know it was really a she!?
avatar for samsung1
samsung1
•
15 years ago
The dumbest thing I have been told is "no touching, trust me it's better that way".. She was bouncing around my dick and it was rather uncomfortable for me.
FUCK YOU BITCH! was what I thought...I am never buying another dance from her again.
avatar for Philip A. Stein
Philip A. Stein
•
15 years ago
Uhm Sam, a few more words: River Rouge, cotton pony, red week, strawberry swirly, the crimson wave, menstruating, on the rag.

Need I go on?
avatar for chandler
chandler
•
15 years ago
CC, what's dumb about that?
avatar for gatorfan
gatorfan
•
15 years ago
I think what the girl said was more strange than dumb but do we really have to analyze everyones word choices: dumb/strange/ironic/etc?. Dumbest thing a stripper ever said to me, "What's the name of the manager, I'm new here." and I'm only a customer sitting at the bar, I dont work for the club.
avatar for Player11
Player11
•
15 years ago
"Keep your hands and tongue to yourself"
avatar for Skyrbuoy
Skyrbuoy
•
15 years ago
I need to bail my boyfriend out, wanna dance?
avatar for harrydave
harrydave
•
15 years ago
Real conversation...
Shot girl: "Would you like a shot?"
Me: "No thanks."
Shot girl: "OK, would you like to tip me a dollar?"
Me: "I don't think so."
Shot girl: "OK, would you like to tip me two dollars?"
avatar for Dougster
Dougster
•
15 years ago
So many dumb things over the years:

a) a stripper told me that the 2008 election was between Clinton and Obama, because, by law, the republicans had won two presidential terms so there could not be a third

b) had a stripper tell me that antibiotics are used to treat viral infections like the cold

c) had a stripper tell me she was very good at math. I asked which was bigger 3/4 or 5/8. She thought about it for five minutes then told me the 5/8

d) mentioned to a stripper that Obama was in Cairo. she had no idea where Cairo was
avatar for CCRiderm
CCRiderm
•
15 years ago
That was a great conversation HarryDave. A real classic. Actually Gator is right, it was more strange than dumb. However dumb made a good title.
avatar for how
how
•
15 years ago
CCRider, many women are okay with covered BJ, but not digital penetration. I think they are worried about whatever germs they think might be on your hands.

Dougster, those are some great examples of "Glittering Jewels of Colossal Ignorance" (per Limbaugh), or "the GALACTICALLY STUPID" (per Cruise in "A Few Good Men").
avatar for chandler
chandler
•
15 years ago
Maybe she thinks playing with her pussy is too intimate, but a blow job isn't. Nothing especially dumb or strange about that. I can see how the timing of her offer could have been funny. Maybe you had to be there. So how was the blow job?
avatar for Dougster
Dougster
•
15 years ago
Back to the BJ versus fingering thing. The first is active on her part the other passive. Besides the possibilities already mentioned, it might be that she likes being the one "in charge" or, possibly from experience, she doesn't trust customers to finger her well, or maybe some have done it so poorly she felt uncomfortable.
avatar for txtittyfan
txtittyfan
•
15 years ago
A lot of women regardless of their occupation still hold their pussy in high regard and protect its sanctity. But back to the question, the dumbest question I hate is "Do you want to tip me extra?"
avatar for gatorfan
gatorfan
•
15 years ago
For the BJ situation, I've seen a few girls have rules, what they will or wont allow. Some dont like sucking the nipple for fear of us biting it. Some allow licking of the pussy but dont allow FS or fingering. I think good interviewing is required before the lap dance is required to know you will get out of the lap dance what you want.

Another dumb question "can I borrow some money which is probably the stupidest question on many different levels.
avatar for wallanon
wallanon
•
15 years ago
What is the dumbest thing you ever had a stripper say to you?

"I love you"
avatar for slickpeter
slickpeter
•
15 years ago
Not to sure she loved you (ROFLMAO) she just loved your wallet!
avatar for Dougster
Dougster
•
15 years ago
Along the "I love you" line... "Would you like to have me as your girlfriend?" Um, no.
avatar for samsung1
samsung1
•
15 years ago
harrydave,
Real conversation...
Shot girl: "Would you like a shot?"
Me: "No thanks."
Shot girl: "OK, would you like to tip me a dollar?"
Me: "I don't think so."
Shot girl: "OK, would you like to tip me two dollars?"

LMAO!!!
I know exactly where you heard that from! mother/daughter stripper team at Dreamgirls in Columbus, OH.

I tipped the mother and she flashed me her boob. I tipped her another dollar and she showed the other one. Not worth the $2 but I was having a good time... I hope those stupid bitches got fired or moved.

I have to second that as being the dumbest thing I have heard in a SC.
avatar for harrydave
harrydave
•
15 years ago
Samsung1, exactly! Probably related a bit of this in my review at the time. Mother and daughter collaborated in their petty rip-offs. The daughter got to me first and gave me 2 of the worst lap dances I have ever had. By the time Mom, as the shot girl, got to me, I was in a foul mood. My answer to her last question was to stare at her for a few seconds and give her a sharp "No." She sniffed and waddled off to pester someone else.
avatar for Yoda
Yoda
•
15 years ago
Without a doubt it was the chick, about seven or eight years ago, in her early twenties who swore that she had flown choppers in the first Gulf War. The guy I was sitting with happened to be a licensed pilot who actually DID fly choppers in Vietnam. I had quit an enjoyable time watching this airhead spin her BS story as my drinking buddy and I snickered under our collective breaths...
avatar for DandyDan
DandyDan
•
15 years ago
I made one of my occasional Kansas strip club trips just this weekend, and one of the ladies asked me if the lady who was dancing on stage at the time was the manager. I just told her I had no idea.

Most of what I remember for dumb things they tell me is really inane stuff, like one girl who told me she had a headache and that it was because it was biological.
avatar for magicrat
magicrat
•
15 years ago
I didn't actually hear this one, but it came from a reliable source so I'm going to mention it. First of all, I'm in the South, where NASCAR is a major religion, although I never watch it myself. Anyways a dancer supposedly asked if they stopped the race during the commercials?
avatar for how
how
•
15 years ago
Stripper is traveling from Indiana to Los Angeles. She has a coach-class ticket, but plops herself down in first class. When the actual occupant of the seat asks her to move, she replies, "I'm young, I'm beautiful, and I'm flying to LA in style." The flight attendant tries to get the stripper to move, but gets the exact same reply. The pilot comes back, whispers in the stripper's ear, then returns to his checklist in the cockpit. The stripper immediately moves back to her coach seat. "Captain," the flight attendant asks, "what did you say to her?" He replied, "I just told her the first class passengers weren't going to Los Angeles."
avatar for BaddJack
BaddJack
•
15 years ago
I think what would be MORE fun is for us to admit the dumbest thing we ever said to a stripper.

Mine? "If you could quote 20 consecutive lines of Shakespeare, I would leave my family...." I was lucky that she couldn't.
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
•
15 years ago
Some of you may remember this from 3 years ago. A member of this board was visiting my favorite club and brought up my name to one of the dancers. She replied that I was the "house mom". We all got a big laugh out of that.
avatar for Book Guy
Book Guy
•
15 years ago
You look just like Charlton Theron.
avatar for stripclubspy
stripclubspy
•
15 years ago
Stripper: You remember I don't do penetration
Me: yes, I remember
Stripper: So, are you going straight for the penetration or do you need a fluff girl first?
avatar for rmasecret
rmasecret
•
15 years ago
Columbus... very drunk stripper

Stripper: "Have we met before?"
Me: "No"
Stripper: "No, I didn't mean in this life" (indignantly like I should have known she meant that)

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