Articles - February, 2023

So much can go wrong in a strip club. Not the once-in-a-lifetime catastrophe like armed robbery. Not even showstoppers like a grease fire or a power outage. The everyday annoyances that amount to cockblocking - or that just piss us off. Like when there's only one girl in the club that you want to see. And just when the angle is…

I am a pervert and I am prepared to admit it. But, despite my occasional outrageous conduct, I do occasionally behave like I have a heart or a conscience.   I’m sure some of you have run into this dilemma.  You feel a desperate need to be desplooginated by a gorgeous woman whom you’ve never even met. You jump into your car,…

  What exactly is it about eating pussy that makes it such a deliriously fabulous pastime? From certain perspectives, eating pussy could be considered gross.  After all, women dribble pee across their pink parts.  They bleed from their vaginas.  They get yeast infections and UTIs.  If that’s not enough, some people allege that eating pussy is bad for your teeth!    https://www.tuscl.net/photo.php?id=12934   Despite these…

A long time ago, I wrote an article about my first trip to a strip club and what a great experience it was, and how you never forget your first club experience. After my first trip to The Grandview, I wanted to go back immediately. The only problem was I was a poor 18 year old working a part time…

It is important to approach strip clubs with an open mind, respect for the performers, and consideration for the establishment's rules and policies. With that said, here is a beginner's guide to strip clubs: Choose a club: Research local strip clubs in your area and choose one that fits your preferences. Look for reviews and ratings online or…

I described the glories of the once-great BallPark Tavern in a previous article (see Blowjobs on Christmas (https://app.tuscl.net/article/57816 )). Here I'm going to continue the chronicle of debauchery in response to a recent conversation about Playhouse Lounge, which is nearby and nothing like the Ballpig, may it rest in peace. I actually feel sorry for those who never experienced BP before…

As the outdoor lights faded, I stepped into a dark corridor, feeling the enveloping darkness surround me. My heart raced and my palms grew sweaty as I nervously handed my ID to the bouncer. At that time, I had only seen real breasts once, had only had sex with one person, and was exposed solely to pornography. I was a…

DISCLOSURE Hello my fellow TUSCL members. It has been a while since I have written an article or review. There was a good reason for that. Garfield has finally made the trek over to Frankfurt, Germany and Zurich, Switzerland and experienced the FKK world firsthand. Over the last two months, I have been writing my…

The following is targeted neither at beginners nor at experienced strip club customers. It's just a list of things that have worked for me over the decades (shit, I'm old). Some of these things might work for you; some might not. Also, some of these recommendations may not work at some clubs or in some regions. Honestly, for a lot…

While masks are still required in some areas such as medical facilities and some emergency laws/regulations are just waiting to lapse for all intents and purposes we are out of Covid. Unfortunately I don’t think there will ever be a return to how things were before the pandemic. Strip clubs are no exception. A lot of the dancers I really…

If you are visiting clubs in Seattle, I thought I might run down my favorites, from least favorite to most favorite. Please note I have note been to the new Sugars on Aurora, so I have left it out. The Playground in Ballard: Totally dead the last time I went in. The girls were okay, but the LDA has no…