Navigating Strip Clubs ... Things that Work for Me
Call.Me.Ishmael
Rhode Island
Honestly, for a lot of experienced strip club guys, this stuff might be pretty basic. But knowing the basics isn't a bad thing wherever your are in your titty bar journey.
For context, I'm clubbing in Rhode Island mostly. I'm a factory-standard middle-aged white guy with a decent build (but no one would mistake me for a fitness model). Honestly, you've walked past hundreds of me in any given strip club.
::: WHAT TO BRING INSIDE THE CLUB
I have a separate wallet for strip club visits. It contains cash, a condom, and blank business cards (from those printable Avery label packs). The blank cards are useful if you want to take or provide contact information when you don't want to fumble around with your phone. It's also helpful if, while I'm talking to a dancer, I recommend a [THING] to a dancer. I can write it down, hand it to her, and she doesn't need to immediately put it in her phone.
I don't bring in my ID, credit/debit cards, or anything else that resides in my "civilian life" wallet. I know too many guys who have lost a card or entire wallet in a club. I also know a lot of guys who submitted to the call of their little head and made multiple ATM withdrawals that they couldn't afford.
So, it's my club wallet, phone, and keys. That's it.
::: THE NEVER-ENDING PANTS QUESTION
Before posting a new discussion thread, go here:
https://www.google.com/search?q=tuscl+pa…
This has been talked about *A LOT*. Ultimately, you want to wear lighter, non-coarse fabrics if you tend to get more grinding lap dances or nude non-extra VIPs. Both your own and the dancer's genitalia will thank you for it. I'm not an LDK guy, so I don't go in for basketball shorts that have been infused with WD-40. I also don't have a section of my closet dedicated to strip club pants.
::: WHAT DO DANCERS WANT
It varies a lot on a dancer-by-dancer basis, but you'll be dialed in on the 80/20 rule if you focus on "cash" and "hygiene" (likely in that order...). I don't have the most expensive car, the fanciest clothes, or high-end bling, but I have no problem getting and keeping the attention of hot dancers. That's mostly because I spend money and I know my way around a bar of soap.
Also, don't be creepy, but we'll talk about that later.
-- Cash --
Dancers are there to work and make money; that is their top priority. So, if you want dancers to gravitate to you, then spend money. I don't like to waste money (I'm not a 'make it rain' guy), but I do target my tips and spending at dancers that I want to spend time with. I also tip the bartenders generously (it helps in a variety of situations). I also tip the club staff managing the VIP rooms or lap dance areas (they are sometimes more generous with time allowances as a result). Club staff and dancers talk to each other about customers that spend; that will help you usually.
-- Hygiene --
It's not a heavy lift. Take a shower, brush your teeth, clean the chowder out of your beard (or wherever...), and wear clean clothes. Just being clean will put you ahead of anywhere from 40% to 80% of the other customers, depending on the club. As I've said, I'm pretty much a "gray man" in the club. I don't want to stand out and I don't get any benefit from it. But, being clean definitely helps.
::: WHAT IS THE 'ISHMAEL' SYSTEM FOR GETTING A DANCER'S ATTENTION
This is pretty complex, so get ready to take notes:
STEP 1: I talk to them. There is no Step 2.
Honestly, if a dancer isn't sitting with another guy or deeply engaged in some other activity, then I just walk up to them and ask something like "Hey, can I buy you a drink? I might be in the mood for dances." Works 90% of the time.
What if a dancer is locked down by a regular or always busy? I wait for her to take her turn on stage, I sit at the stage, I tip $10 or $20 and say "I'm interested in spending time with you. Come find me whenever you're free." That doesn't work if they're sitting with a guy who spend a lot, but it does if they're sitting with a guy just to sit with someone. I've had several dancers peel away from another guy to sit with me because I demonstrated that I'm actively interested and spent $20 on a stage tip.
::: WHAT IS THE 'ISHMAEL' SYSTEM FOR GETTING DANCERS TO LIKE YOU
Similar to the above topic...
STEP 1: Don't be creepy. There is no Step 2.
Honestly, for some guys this is going to be a bit harder, because I've rarely met a creepy guy who was self-aware enough to know that they're creepy. If you're clean, spending money, and still struggling to have fun in a strip club, then you might need to practice some introspection or check in with your friends. I can't help you beyond that.
For me, I just try to keep the conversation light and fun. I try to be open, engaged, and I don't smile like a serial killer. I avoid topics like politics or religion. I do ask them non-invasive questions about themselves (hobbies and favorite TV shows are usually safe).
My opinion... dancers spend a lot of time trying to build up a rapport with guys who are in a strip club because they're some degree of socially awkward, and it takes effort as part of their sales hustle. If you're the guy who doesn't require that kind of work, they appreciate it and it helps put them at ease.
Baseline: Be polite and respectful. I never get angry at or engage in conflict with dancers. I'll walk away before I do that.
::: WHAT IS THE 'ISHMAEL' SYSTEM FOR GETTING EXTRAS
Here we go again.
STEP 1: Politely ask for exactly what you want. There is no Step 2.
Caveat: I club in an area that is high mileage at least and open to extras very often. So, some of this may not work for you. That said, I've often found that being vague about anything you want (be it low or high mileage) often leads to confusion, opportunities for the dancer to willfully "misinterpret" what's on the menu, etc. So, politely and respectfully ask for exactly what you want (without referencing any male vocalists), and then let her respond. If she's vague about what she offers, I might try once or twice to get her to be more specific. If that doesn't work, then 90% of the time I'll politely end the conversation (especially if she's a new-to-me dancer) and invite her to come back to me if she has a change of heart.
But, if she's on board with what I want, then I'll ask "What are you looking for in exchange?" Then she says a number. If I don't like the number, I might make a counter offer. Or I might not: It depends on the situation; It depends on the energy; It depends on just how high she's quoting; It depends on how hot she is and how horny I am.
I will say this: I don't recommend haggling to nickels and dimes with a dancer. Even if you get to a price you like, a dancer will resent being brow-beaten to below what she thinks she deserves, and it likely won't be a great dance or VIP even if you get what you asked for. Just move on to the next dancer.
One final note, don't be afraid of a dancer "freaking out" because you've asked for extras. I've asked in non-extras clubs in non-extras regions, and while I might get a solid "no", they don't make a spectacle or call the cops, etc. The chances are overwhelming that you're not the first guy to ask them for extras. Honestly, you're very likely to not be the first guy to ask them for extras that shift.
::: SO, OTC. HOW DOES THAT WORK?
I usually do *at least* one VIP and/or several lap dances with a dancer before asking them about OTC. There's no set number; it's based on hunches and experience. Ultimately, though, the point is that I've had fun with her and she has seen that I know how to behave myself in VIP even where extras are involved. Meaning, she has some sense that I'm not scary, volatile, or creepy. And then I say this:
"Would you consider seeing me outside the club?"
99% of the time they know what I'm asking for. They might say 'yes'; they might say 'no'; or they might tell me that they want to spend more time with me ITC before doing OTC (which is sometimes genuine, and sometimes a means to keep you coming back). Sometimes they will respond by asking for more detail regarding what OTC means to me, and (similar to asking for extras) I tell them exactly what I want (which is quite a lot, but not butt stuff). If they're open to what I want, then we talk prices.
In terms of the pricing question, there are too many variables to make that discussion worthwhile (as we've all seen). If a hot dancer insists that I make an offer first and I have no clue what she might want, then I start at $400. It's a number that I can afford. It's also a number that's high enough to not insult the vast majority of dancers who normally ask for and get a higher number. That may not be the best method, but I've done fine. Generally speaking, though, I try to get them to put a number out there first.
::: BEING A REGULAR
I like being a regular (as you'll see from my club reviews...). Of course, I'm lucky to have several great strip clubs in my area. So, it's easy for me. I recommend being a regular because it makes life easier. I have a good reputation in my base club. The staff knows and likes me. The dancers talk and know that I'm safe and spend money. So, I often get to skip some steps when it comes to ITC and OTC.
So, if you have a good club in your area, then it's not a bad idea to make that a home base. I'll also note that some guys who are a little weird (but otherwise harmless) benefit from being a club regular. As I've mentioned, the dancers talk, and so a guy who might be avoided at a new club might benefit from a dancer telling another dancer "Oh, that's Larry. He's a little kooky, but he's cool."
That's all I've got for now. I might add or modify things via the comments if this gets posted. Again, I'm not putting this forward as "expert" advice. It's just my advice. Take it at face value. I hope it helps you.
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12 comments
In regards to being a regular, I gave some of my thoughts here: https://app.tuscl.net/article/58459 Totally respect if someone prefers variety, but small benefits and enormous benefits can come to those who are regulars and put in even a little time getting to know the staff. I am talking about, up to high contact and extras in an incredibly strict, bouncer patrolled and cameras club. Regulars can have a different experience than everyone else in the club.
I think your advice on the SC wallet is good advice, and probably the right advice for most. I always just bring my real wallet. I want my medical card in case something happens, I want my credit cards in case my buddies want to go eat afterwards or a stripper wants me to take her for drinks on her break, I want my ATM card because even though it's dumb to go to the ATM, a few times having this option let me take advantage of an amazing opportunity. I have never lost my wallet at the club, but I do put it somewhere it can't be easily pickpocketed, and then I never take it out -- all my 20s on down are loose in one pocket for stage tips and drinks, all my 50s/100s for VIPs are in a money clip in another. I never have to take my wallet out to pay for anything. Just a different way to go, but probably not good for someone who can't control themselves as far as spending, or for someone who gets absent minded in the club.
On OTC, to expand on strippers who say "Maybe; I need to get to know you better" as you point out sometimes these are girls who have no intention of doing an OTC with you and just want to string a few more dollars from a few more trips from you (smart sales strategy). But I can tell you firsthand, sometimes it's genuine, and I've absolutely had "maybe" girls turn into yes girls later. I play it ear and instinct. Typically I'll see her a couple more times and ask again. Sometimes it becomes a yes, and we're off to the races. Sometimes it stays a "maybe" and usually I cut bait there. Since I enjoy being in the SC, I don't look at this as wasted time or money, it didn't pan out but I like had a great time those trips (which is why i asked her OTC in the first place).
I would never leave my wallet in the car, that invites a visit from Seattle's car prowl crew.
I asked her schedule and every week I’d come in and do 10 lap dances. After 7 or 8 weeks I’d really gotten to know her and she knew me. I had her phone number, knew where her apartment was, knew she had no license or car and she asked me for details on what I had in mind for OTC. I told her I wanted a blow job, vaginal sex and to hold her body against mine for a long time. I wanted to know her in a way that was impossible in the club and that I’d like to have a relationship of sorts ( I was more than double her age). I told her that I HAD to have her and if it was no then I’d accept that and leave her alone. She then told me a ridiculously high price and for that we would go to her apartment with a king sized bed and she would be my sex slave for 24 hours. She finally agreed to four 6 hour trysts which were heavenly.
We continued seeing each other at her apartment and I did stay overnight a couple of times. I ended up furnishing her apartment and she consistently beat me at chess. Her last night at the club she got in a terrible screaming match with the woman overseeing the dressing room from which she emerged crying & asking me to take her to VIP - no charge. She was crying and we had wild sex for which I was unprepared and ended up nutting in her bareback (I should have had your wallet). Then she just disappeared. We connected a few times later and she and her BF (who I met several times) have 2 kids and we lost track during the pandemic. Proof that OTC can work no matter what the first answer may be.
The bit about going into details and specifics before you go back is something I've always avoided. Your approach is probably safer, around here though the basic range of what's gonna happen in a room is pretty generally accepted. My approach is to simply agree on a price and let things happen naturally once there. If she's insistent upon getting down to specifics up front, I usually pass and just move on. I don't always get exactly what I want from a new girl with my approach, but to me its worth that risk. Much like haggling over nickels and dimes will sew resentment and sour your time in the back, I find agreeing to every specific act turns it into a shopping list and we both feel like we're just going down the aisle checking stuff off the list instead of me just enjoying her. If it turns out something's not on the menu, I'll go to another restaurant next time.
The general principle of simplicity I couldn't agree more with though.
On one occasion, I decided to just tell a smoking hot (but very new) dancer what I wanted at the highest level and said "I just like a lot of contact." She replied "You think we're going to touch each other?"
I dodged that bullet and encouraged her to talk with her new coworkers about dancing in Providence.
Yeah, just a personal preference thing. Like you, I feel more comfortable with my wallet on me. Not without reason -- cars are broken into very often in SF, the car is not safe, even in the attended garages I favor.
Beyond that, I don't have trouble controlling myself, in decades of doing this, even drinking, I've never gone to the ATM and blown some ridiculous amount I later regretted. Someone who might be tempted todo that, should definitely leave their cards home. The other thing is that I want to be able to take advantage of any other fun opportunities. I might my next ATF and want to do a few more dances than I brought cash for? I have a surprise opportunity to take her to dinner or for an OTC tonight? I'm with my buddies and we want to head off into little Italy and have some dinner? There's an earthquake or other power outage and it's not possible to get into the garage, and now I have no credit cards or anything? (yes, unlikely but not impossible). Get hit by a car crossing the street and need my insurance card?
I've never lost my wallet in the club, feel it's safer on me, and for all the reasons above, I always bring it.
I'll note that the club I go to most often has a very safe parking lot that is under watch consistently. I also have a clever non-standard hideaway for the wallet (not the glove box...). If it was a sketchier club in a sketchy area, then I'd probably bring the wallet in with me.