Navigating Strip Clubs ... Things that Work for Me

The following is targeted neither at beginners nor at experienced strip club customers. It's just a list of things that have worked for me over the decades (shit, I'm old). Some of these things might work for you; some might not. Also, some of these recommendations may not work at some clubs or in some regions. Honestly, for a lot of experienced strip club guys, this stuff might be pretty basic. But knowing the basics isn't a bad thing wherever your are in your titty bar journey. For context, I'm clubbing in Rhode Island mostly. I'm a factory-standard middle-aged white guy with a decent build (but no one would mistake me for a fitness model). Honestly, you've walked past hundreds of me in any given strip club. ::: WHAT TO BRING INSIDE THE CLUB I have a separate wallet for strip club visits. It contains cash, a condom, and blank business cards (from those printable Avery label packs). The blank cards are useful if you want to take or provide contact information when you don't want to fumble around with your phone. It's also helpful if, while I'm talking to a dancer, I recommend a [THING] to a dancer. I can write it down, hand it to her, and she doesn't need to immediately put it in her phone. I don't bring in my ID, credit/debit cards, or anything else that resides in my "civilian life" wallet. I know too many guys who have lost a card or entire wallet in a club. I also know a lot of guys who submitted to the call of their little head and made multiple ATM withdrawals that they couldn't afford. So, it's my club wallet, phone, and keys. That's it. ::: THE NEVER-ENDING PANTS QUESTION Before posting a new discussion thread, go here: https://www.google.com/search?q=tuscl+pants&rlz=1C1CHBF_enUS899US899&oq=tuscl+pants This has been talked about *A LOT*. Ultimately, you want to wear lighter, non-coarse fabrics if you tend to get more grinding lap dances or nude non-extra VIPs. Both your own and the dancer's genitalia will thank you for it. I'm not an LDK guy, so I don't go in for basketball shorts that have been infused with WD-40. I also don't have a section of my closet dedicated to strip club pants. ::: WHAT DO DANCERS WANT It varies a lot on a dancer-by-dancer basis, but you'll be dialed in on the 80/20 rule if you focus on "cash" and "hygiene" (likely in that order...). I don't have the most expensive car, the fanciest clothes, or high-end bling, but I have no problem getting and keeping the attention of hot dancers. That's mostly because I spend money and I know my way around a bar of soap. Also, don't be creepy, but we'll talk about that later. -- Cash -- Dancers are there to work and make money; that is their top priority. So, if you want dancers to gravitate to you, then spend money. I don't like to waste money (I'm not a 'make it rain' guy), but I do target my tips and spending at dancers that I want to spend time with. I also tip the bartenders generously (it helps in a variety of situations). I also tip the club staff managing the VIP rooms or lap dance areas (they are sometimes more generous with time allowances as a result). Club staff and dancers talk to each other about customers that spend; that will help you usually. -- Hygiene -- It's not a heavy lift. Take a shower, brush your teeth, clean the chowder out of your beard (or wherever...), and wear clean clothes. Just being clean will put you ahead of anywhere from 40% to 80% of the other customers, depending on the club. As I've said, I'm pretty much a "gray man" in the club. I don't want to stand out and I don't get any benefit from it. But, being clean definitely helps. ::: WHAT IS THE 'ISHMAEL' SYSTEM FOR GETTING A DANCER'S ATTENTION This is pretty complex, so get ready to take notes: STEP 1: I talk to them. There is no Step 2. Honestly, if a dancer isn't sitting with another guy or deeply engaged in some other activity, then I just walk up to them and ask something like "Hey, can I buy you a drink? I might be in the mood for dances." Works 90% of the time. What if a dancer is locked down by a regular or always busy? I wait for her to take her turn on stage, I sit at the stage, I tip $10 or $20 and say "I'm interested in spending time with you. Come find me whenever you're free." That doesn't work if they're sitting with a guy who spend a lot, but it does if they're sitting with a guy just to sit with someone. I've had several dancers peel away from another guy to sit with me because I demonstrated that I'm actively interested and spent $20 on a stage tip. ::: WHAT IS THE 'ISHMAEL' SYSTEM FOR GETTING DANCERS TO LIKE YOU Similar to the above topic... STEP 1: Don't be creepy. There is no Step 2. Honestly, for some guys this is going to be a bit harder, because I've rarely met a creepy guy who was self-aware enough to know that they're creepy. If you're clean, spending money, and still struggling to have fun in a strip club, then you might need to practice some introspection or check in with your friends. I can't help you beyond that. For me, I just try to keep the conversation light and fun. I try to be open, engaged, and I don't smile like a serial killer. I avoid topics like politics or religion. I do ask them non-invasive questions about themselves (hobbies and favorite TV shows are usually safe). My opinion... dancers spend a lot of time trying to build up a rapport with guys who are in a strip club because they're some degree of socially awkward, and it takes effort as part of their sales hustle. If you're the guy who doesn't require that kind of work, they appreciate it and it helps put them at ease. Baseline: Be polite and respectful. I never get angry at or engage in conflict with dancers. I'll walk away before I do that. ::: WHAT IS THE 'ISHMAEL' SYSTEM FOR GETTING EXTRAS Here we go again. STEP 1: Politely ask for exactly what you want. There is no Step 2. Caveat: I club in an area that is high mileage at least and open to extras very often. So, some of this may not work for you. That said, I've often found that being vague about anything you want (be it low or high mileage) often leads to confusion, opportunities for the dancer to willfully "misinterpret" what's on the menu, etc. So, politely and respectfully ask for exactly what you want (without referencing any male vocalists), and then let her respond. If she's vague about what she offers, I might try once or twice to get her to be more specific. If that doesn't work, then 90% of the time I'll politely end the conversation (especially if she's a new-to-me dancer) and invite her to come back to me if she has a change of heart. But, if she's on board with what I want, then I'll ask "What are you looking for in exchange?" Then she says a number. If I don't like the number, I might make a counter offer. Or I might not: It depends on the situation; It depends on the energy; It depends on just how high she's quoting; It depends on how hot she is and how horny I am. I will say this: I don't recommend haggling to nickels and dimes with a dancer. Even if you get to a price you like, a dancer will resent being brow-beaten to below what she thinks she deserves, and it likely won't be a great dance or VIP even if you get what you asked for. Just move on to the next dancer. One final note, don't be afraid of a dancer "freaking out" because you've asked for extras. I've asked in non-extras clubs in non-extras regions, and while I might get a solid "no", they don't make a spectacle or call the cops, etc. The chances are overwhelming that you're not the first guy to ask them for extras. Honestly, you're very likely to not be the first guy to ask them for extras that shift. ::: SO, OTC. HOW DOES THAT WORK? I usually do *at least* one VIP and/or several lap dances with a dancer before asking them about OTC. There's no set number; it's based on hunches and experience. Ultimately, though, the point is that I've had fun with her and she has seen that I know how to behave myself in VIP even where extras are involved. Meaning, she has some sense that I'm not scary, volatile, or creepy. And then I say this: "Would you consider seeing me outside the club?" 99% of the time they know what I'm asking for. They might say 'yes'; they might say 'no'; or they might tell me that they want to spend more time with me ITC before doing OTC (which is sometimes genuine, and sometimes a means to keep you coming back). Sometimes they will respond by asking for more detail regarding what OTC means to me, and (similar to asking for extras) I tell them exactly what I want (which is quite a lot, but not butt stuff). If they're open to what I want, then we talk prices. In terms of the pricing question, there are too many variables to make that discussion worthwhile (as we've all seen). If a hot dancer insists that I make an offer first and I have no clue what she might want, then I start at $400. It's a number that I can afford. It's also a number that's high enough to not insult the vast majority of dancers who normally ask for and get a higher number. That may not be the best method, but I've done fine. Generally speaking, though, I try to get them to put a number out there first. ::: BEING A REGULAR I like being a regular (as you'll see from my club reviews...). Of course, I'm lucky to have several great strip clubs in my area. So, it's easy for me. I recommend being a regular because it makes life easier. I have a good reputation in my base club. The staff knows and likes me. The dancers talk and know that I'm safe and spend money. So, I often get to skip some steps when it comes to ITC and OTC. So, if you have a good club in your area, then it's not a bad idea to make that a home base. I'll also note that some guys who are a little weird (but otherwise harmless) benefit from being a club regular. As I've mentioned, the dancers talk, and so a guy who might be avoided at a new club might benefit from a dancer telling another dancer "Oh, that's Larry. He's a little kooky, but he's cool." That's all I've got for now. I might add or modify things via the comments if this gets posted. Again, I'm not putting this forward as "expert" advice. It's just my advice. Take it at face value. I hope it helps you.