Dancers who don't seem to want anything from you -- the most confusing kind

avatar for luckyone
luckyone
Florida
&nbsp;Understanding the dancer/customer relationship is usually simply a matter of economics. &nbsp;Most any interaction is going to be governed by the simple fact that you have money and she would very much like to take it away from you. &nbsp;Some girls are more subtle than others, recognizing you as a regular customer who can be cultivated and who might turn out to be a regular source of income. &nbsp;Others are more direct and short-term thinkers, giving the occasional &nbsp;&quot;wanna dance&quot; but mostly seeking out someone who is going to easily be separated from their wallets right then and there. &nbsp;As a pretty regular customer at two clubs where I rarely get dances, I have observed some other behaviors which are a bit harder to explain but not impossible. &nbsp;Sometimes girls will just park themselves at my table, usually willing to accept a drink but rarely asking, and sit for a while. &nbsp;Often it is a girl I tip regularly on stage but not always. Sometimes she will sit for a while and seem to want to talk. &nbsp;Other times, she may just sit down long enough to smoke a cigarette and then excuse herself. &nbsp;I suspect this serves two purposes. &nbsp;I am not the type of customer who tries to grope or hit on the dancers when they sit with me. &nbsp;I am not offensive or smelly or gross. &nbsp;I am, I suppose the right word is, &quot;safe.&quot; &nbsp; So I serve as a safety zone if a dancer wants to take a break. &nbsp;If I tip them, it also allows them to &quot;reward&quot; me with their presence. &nbsp;At times, the girls just doesn't want to work. &nbsp;Sometimes she has already made her day and other times she has simply given up on making it. &nbsp;In that case, they may sit for 30 minutes or an hour or more. &nbsp;Of course, it also helps if the place is not crowded but that isn't necessarily always the case. &nbsp;I've even had them tell me to pretend I'm paying them to sit there because they don't want to deal with some of the other customers in the place. ( I should say that I never pay for conversation, regardless of how much I may be attracted to them. )<br />
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So what of the dancer who does this all the time? &nbsp;I suppose there are few explanations. &nbsp;She enjoys the conversation and finds you more interesting than sitting in the back texting on her phone or hanging around some random dude. &nbsp;Doesn't mean that she wants to be your best friend outside the club but that you are the &quot;lesser of many evils&quot; when she is at work. &nbsp;She might also be really into you. &nbsp;I find it hard to believe that women attractive enough to make money off their looks are flocking to me because they want me to rock their world. &nbsp;I occasionally get the feeling they might but I suspect that, in most cases, they are just hoping to lure me into dances (however unlikely) or perhaps some sort of OTC arrangement. &nbsp;You may want to adjust your own expectations in these cases. &nbsp;If attractive young women often come on to you, then it is possible the dancer is too. &nbsp;If not, I would proceed with caution. &nbsp;That being said, the warnings about &quot;dating a dancer&quot; on here should also serve as a warning about pursuing anything with her.<br />
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But what of the dancer who actually refuses drinks, sits with you for way too long, gives out her real name and contact information, actually buys you little gifts, remembers every little detail about you that you've ever discussed and even agrees to spend time with you outside the club? &nbsp;What of the dancer who says she will give you a ride home if you have had too much to drink and need it? &nbsp;What of the dancer who texts you her random thoughts in the middle of the day? &nbsp;What of the dancer who comes by your work just to say hi? &nbsp;She has a boyfriend and doesn't seem particularly interested in me romantically. &nbsp;So what is in it for her? &nbsp;I am very tempted to conclude that this young lady just wants to be my friend and is serious about it. &nbsp;It is confusing as that is the last thing I would expect one of these ladies to want. &nbsp;There's no money, no sex, no drugs, really nothing in it for her except my company. &nbsp;So there you go. &nbsp;The most confusing kind of dancer. &nbsp;I'm perplexed.<br type="_moz" />

13 comments

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avatar for Dudester
Dudester
15 years ago
I ran into someone like that recently. Things were very slow at the club. I had dropped by, thinking I'd spend two hours there, max. Because of work, I was waaaaay overdue or bedtime. Anyway, it was two hour before I could peel her away from her stripper friends. Once we started talking, we talked for another two hours. Then, she started prowling the place for a take out menu (she wouldn't eat the club's food, even though it was quite decent). After about 45 minutes of her prowling (THEY couldn't agree), I was able to get her in the back room for some intimate contact.
avatar for MisterGuy
MisterGuy
15 years ago
<span style="font-size: larger;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">Dancers do this kind of thing all the time.&nbsp; It's hard to remember that dancers are people too.&nbsp; They will have the need for conversation to pass the time while at work, and some of them indeed have a hard time asking a customer for a LD if they fear rejection.&nbsp; I think, in general, you are reading too much into this kind of behavior...she's really not that into you...lol...in fact, she might just be a stalker.</span></span><br type="_moz" />
avatar for sanitago
sanitago
15 years ago
as was said by others, strippers really <i>are</i> just people, and as such, they will do things for their own reasons. I can't tell you one way or the other whether a particular dancer is &quot;into&quot; you, but if she hangs around and acts decently towards you (i.e. not pressuring you for money or to go for a dance), don't just figure she's playing some sort of game. treating her decently in turn doesn't cost a cent and might earn you at least one dancer who will always come by to spend some time with you, which ain't exactly a bad thing, is it? anything beyond that, well, that's where your luck/skill/persistence comes into play, so good luck and keep and open mind.<br type="_moz" />
avatar for steve229
steve229
15 years ago
&quot;What of the dancer who comes by your work just to say hi?&quot;&nbsp; Two words for you:&nbsp; restraining order!&nbsp; <br />
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&nbsp; <br type="_moz" />
avatar for neoguy
neoguy
15 years ago
I have told one (young and very hot) stripper who lives close to my work to stop in and ask for me, we would do lunch.&nbsp; Don't ever expect her to, &nbsp;so it is all good.&nbsp;
avatar for luckyone
luckyone
15 years ago
My work is in a very public place so I don't think a restraining order is necessary. It has only happened a couple of times and it doesn't bother me. .Hardly "stalking" behavior.
avatar for steve229
steve229
15 years ago
Just joking about the restraining order.&nbsp; Seriously, if you are close to the dancer in age, and have other things in common, then just treat her like a girl you met in different circumstances (dance club, bar, party, etc.).<br type="_moz" />
avatar for jabthehut
jabthehut
15 years ago
I believe there are PLs on both side of the $.&nbsp; We already have a definition for the guys but for the dancers they are the ones who don't hustle their ass.&nbsp; They aren't going to make their club fee on a slow night dancing the pole.&nbsp; They've got to get a private, table, or VIP dance or two.&nbsp; Too, there is a difference between asking if you want them to dance for you and hounding for it.&nbsp; I appreciate the former and hate the latter.&nbsp; I went to Harper's in Winston-Salem a couple of weeks ago and there were only two dancers that were there on my previous visit about a month earlier.&nbsp; My fave said they were fired because they weren't making the money.&nbsp; On my previous visit they would dance two dances on stage and then go huddle up at the bar amongst themselves and there were plenty of customers.&nbsp; I sat with my fave most of the time and when she left me for a while, another dancer (the other one who is still there) came over and straddled me and talked for a while rubbing her hands all over me and letting me do the same to her.<br type="_moz" />
avatar for Houndguy
Houndguy
15 years ago
Years ago I became a regular at a strip club across the street from where I worked.&nbsp; It was the &quot;neiborhood bar&quot; for my company and it got to the point where the girls would not even ask us for dances or expect tips.&nbsp; We were simply part of the bar.<br />
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They just liked that a bunch of big strong construction guys were hanging out in the club, watching out for the girls.&nbsp; I remember one of the girls telling me that the owner of the bar felt that if something went wrong we have their back&nbsp; <br />
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Sadly that bar is gone and the company is no more, but the memory lives on.&nbsp; What I can remember.&nbsp; Freaking bunch of alcoholics.
avatar for bumrubber
bumrubber
15 years ago
It's weird, in the South I always have dancers glom onto me but in California I can hardly get their attention to get a dance.&nbsp; So far my southern states exploits (fewer than 10 visits) have gotten me a bunch of real-life dates with one girl, a real-life fling with another that also happened to go to my gym, and in about half my club visits a girl befriends me for no reason at all.&nbsp; Not in California though.&nbsp; I can't figure it out.<br type="_moz" />
avatar for skibum609
skibum609
15 years ago
My guess is she is just lonely and since you seem nice and harmless this allows her to have some human connection without the expectation she will perform like a trained monkey.
avatar for luckyone
luckyone
15 years ago
&nbsp;I think skibum609 is closest to the truth.
avatar for bumrubber
bumrubber
15 years ago
MisterGuy, I think you're right.&nbsp; Just be nice and they'll be nice back.<br />
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I had a young dancer (19-20?) glom onto me for like an hour before pressing for a dance.&nbsp; As you say I think she had a hard time asking, so she tried to win me over by hanging out and getting me to like her (it worked, BTW).<br type="_moz" />
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