An Argument Against Naming Dancers in Reviews
Call.Me.Ishmael
Rhode Island
Over time, though, I had more conversations with dancers about their jobs (occurring here, reddit, and in person). I became a little more knowledgeable about their safety risks and worst experiences with customers. As time went on, I became less enthused about naming dancers in reviews. At some point, I posted this debate thread on the topic, and this was the point at which I pretty much decided to switch up my entire review style.
https://app.tuscl.net/discussion/81481
In any case, here is the chain of reasoning I've adopted with regards to naming dancers in reviews.
1. I LIKE DANCERS. No, I don't fall in love with dancers or catch feelings, but I like the dancers I see in the club. I chat with them (some more than others), hang out, and I see a few outside the club (OTC). I get to know them a little bit and there is a familiarity. Don't get me wrong. I also appreciate what dancers do for me in VIP and during OTC, and they like me even more when I pay them. In sum, though I'm not under the impression that we're friends, I don't think of dancers as disposable toys. They're people that I like. Ultimately, I don't want shitty things to happen to them. And also...
2. I WANT MY FAVORITES TO KEEP DANCING. I'm not completely altruistic. When I find a dancer that's cool and does the things that I enjoy, I want to keep her around. Generally speaking, I want to encourage any decent dancer to stay on the job. With this in mind, I also know that my favorites have other customers. And a big factor of what keeps any dancer dancing is the overall experiences she has with all of her customers. Now, I know that there's not a lot I can do to influence who a dancer interacts with in the club, but there is a *little* that I can do. And I'm happy to do even a little because...
3. SOME OF YOU GUYS ARE ASSHOLES. No, I don't mean the users I don't get along with on the discussion forums. That's irrelevant to this topic, but there are users here who read and use the reviews who are absolute dickheads to dancers (and we've all read their reviews and discussion posts...). And then there's a segment who go beyond just being jerks. Creeps, stalkers, clinically troubled individuals, and I'd venture that there's a small population of TUSCLers who have an arrest record for sex crimes (plus another demographic that hasn't been caught yet) among others.
When I post dancer names to my reviews, I believe that there's some chance that I'm putting a dancer on the radar of off-his-meds "Surprise FIV Guy" who has a double-digit number of restraining orders against him. First of all, I don't want that to happen to any woman, let alone a woman I know and like. But also, very selfishly I don't want my favorites to have those experiences because it might cause them to pull back what they offer or just plain quit dancing. One could make a counter argument that Surprise FIV Guy could wind up with my CF regardless of me not naming her in my review. And while that's true, there's nothing I can do about random encounters, but I can avoid painting a target on my CF as a direct result of a review that I write and he reads.
Meanwhile, there are also users here who I judge to be good customers that treat dancers right. If they PM me for more information based on my review, then I can make a judgment call as to what information I share privately (if any). I don't mind purposefully steering good customers towards my favorite dancers; that helps them and makes them happy (which can have positive results for me).
Listen, I'm not under the impression that I'm saving lives here. But I am trying to lessen the chance of harm, even if it's only a little. Meanwhile, it's still possible to write a detailed review, explain what a club is all about, note the overall "hotness" of the dancers, and what mileage is generally available, etc. What I'm not doing anymore is providing a "Chinese take-out menu" style review that lists dancer names and details in place of of General Tso's Chicken.
I'm posting this knowing that there will be a group of TUSCLers who will disagree vehemently. That's fine. Feel free to debate in the comments.
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Like you , I don't want to be responsible for sending a dickhead/asshat in the direction of my favorite dancers. However, most dancers have had to deal with some asshats and out-of-control perverts and know how to do so. Also, the number of people on this board who should be restrained is likely not much higher than the general population. Most all of the guys I have met have been very cool people with good jobs who are just out to have a good time. Like many of our politicians and the news media, you are using a few bad actors to scare or disparage a group.
And there are the dancers with Golden Pussy awards and Rip Off Bitches. I want them named up front.
When writing a review, naming specific dancers is a judgement call. However, I don't go to clubs for the food. If there are several clubs in the area and one has a few quality/fun dancers that I can identify by reviews, that is the club where I want to spend my money. That is what makes reviews valuable.
If a dancer chooses to be expensive, that's her business. It's not dishonest. Similarly, we can choose to not buy dances from her.
So, naming ROBs is a case-by-case basis thing.
I won’t name names in reviews out of courtesy to the dancer and respect for her safety. You never know who is reading these things. If an established member PMs me for details I will share - within limits.
I do believe that ROB's should be outed, BUT with the caveat of providing a physical description of dancer in addition to name. Some clubs may have 2 dancers with same name or similar sounding name (eg, Sofia & Sophia). Also there is dancer turnover, so blonde buxom ROB Bubbles may leave in a few months only to have a brunette spinner good Bubbles take her place. Wouldn't want to hurt new Bubbles prospects.
But, as stated above, I don't want to put a dancer I like on the radar of a bad or dangerous customer. Because, guys fixate, obsess, and/or stalk dancers significantly more than the average service industry worker for all the obvious reasons.
I feel perfectly fine letting guys know that it's a good club, and then they can talk to the dancers and find a good one (like all of us do). Or, if I know them to be solid, they'll get a response if they PM me.
https://tuscl.net/discussion/81366
...where Mickey said about halfway down: "Knowing who will do what is actually very helpful in a review. There seems to be concern about dancer protection. It doesn't seem like anyone understands this but dancers use anonymous stage names which can be changed. The 'I got extras but I cant say from who' isnt useful. I dont get the secrecy when this kind of info is available on usasg."
After which he got his ass handed to him, and not just by me. Hence, his hurt feelings from then on.
"We don't hesitate to compliment or call out good or bad service in other industries, why the difference in this industry?"
Because in other industries, the service providers don't get naked with complete strangers in a small room, play with their cocks, and try to convince said strangers that that they're wildly attracted to them. That's why. But hey, maybe you have a different relationship with your car mechanic than I have with mine. Good for you.
(Regarding ROBs, I addressed that above.)
Feel free to keep not liking me and what I say, anonymous petulant dickhead. It's fine by me.
Similar to a review left in any setting, why would I ask them for permission to leave a review? If I said, "if jasmine sits down next to you, dont shoo her away. I had a great night with her and I look forward to seeing her again" , are you saying reviews should be turned down for being as vanilla as that just because I mentioned jasmine?
You act like you're some sort of expert because you might have completed the cliff notes to moby dick. Others might be impressed by you, I'm not. I have no problem being a petulant dickhead to know it all assholes like you who think they know better than everyone else.
I'm not saying that you have to ask permission to talk about a dancer by name in a review. I'm just suggesting that you give it a shot, because you asked about this versus any other industry. And the difference is that if I tell service providers in mainstream industries that I'm going to write up a great review of their work online, the vast majority will appreciate that. But I'm pretty sure that you'll get a very different reaction from most dancers in a strip club. But if you disagree with that, then just give it a try next time you're coming out of VIP.
This is a relevant topic to the customers here, and I'm posting my own practices and opinions. Obviously, I can't control what others do. But, as a guy who used to name names a lot, I'm giving my reasoning as to why I don't do that anymore.
You're the one choosing to get pissy about it. Unlike pretty much everyone else on this thread.
That said, I speculate that the dancers prefer that we do not name them in association with specifics, and therefore I do not. It's just respectful to treat the people you do business with in the way they would like to be treated. Easy peasey.
As I said above, I'm not naming names because I don't like even the possibility that I'm going to steer a bad or dangerous person towards a dancer I like via my recommendation.
Most PLs don't look at or even know about TUSCL. Would be nice if the creeps on here were the only creeps, or even that we have a higher percentage of creeps compared to non-TUSCL PLs. Sadly, I don't think either is true. That's something dancer members will hopefully relate their experiences about.
My profile makes it clear I don't look for extras in strip clubs, and I'm very vague about details (beyond "she was great"),. I think getting her more customers is part of appropriate gratitude towards someone who does a very hard job that greatly helps my quality of life.
If you think you're doing them a favor, then tell that dancer that you're going to name them in an online review here. I'm sure that they'll express their appreciation immediately...
"I’d rather read names than reading CIM & Mickeyjerks bicker like Real Housewives."
Every time someone thinks they're the school yard's most clever, clever boy by calling me "CIM", it's not actually me on the sharp end of that "joke".
However regarding the stalking, obsessive/violent behaviors and such, it’s important to consider why thats occurring on a large scale.
The sex work industry, due to its illegal and semi legal nature, has a major scamming problem. Just like the drug trade industry, and even the auto repair industry (particularly in states where safety inspections are required).
Are all these violent stalker customers that way just because they see a hot dancer they like and she rejected their advances? That seems silly; theres hot girls everywhere and people have been rejected everywhere.
Escorts, strippers, even onlyfans girls have a major scamming and theft problem in their industry, which encourages violence, and the semi legal or illegal nature of the industry can also encourage violence.
Agreed as far as simply being expensive not being akin to being a ROB. However if someone is claiming they get lots of sales at a certain price, yet don’t, or claim their very expensive price is the norm and is a market rate, that can be venturing into ROB territory. A reddit thread had commenters claiming 2k+ OTC is the norm in their area, which seems impossible.
Most Hoe's appreciate the free advertisement.
Is that an outcome you want?
I don't know why it's so hard not to use a dancers name.
That's not true at all. But, you can prove me wrong. Next time you get extras, tell the dancer that you're going to post a review here and identify what she did and her stage name. Let us know how she "thanks" you.