The Do's and Don't of Dislodging a Stripper from a Regular
Call.Me.Ishmael
Rhode Island
It was recently suggested on a board at another site that if the stripper you want to spend time with is being monopolized by a regular, then it would be perfectly okay to walk up to them, politely interrupt their conversation, and let the dancer know that you’d like a dance (or whatever…). I strongly suspect that the guy making this recommendation either never puts a lot of real estate between himself and his keyboard, or he’s just trying to see how many guys he can get into hot water at their local strip club.
I see that approach as a great way to stir up some bad blood between you and the regular, or the dancer, or both at the same time. While a physical confrontation is a remote possibility, I suspect at the very least there could be some degree of drama and awkwardness. And, if the regular is known for spending lots of money, then it’s possible that you’ll be “invited” to leave the club. Ultimately, it’s a great way to *NOT* dislodge a dancer from a regular.
MY APPROACH TO THE SAME SITUATION.
The first thing you need is a bit of patience. Eventually, the dancer will need to take her turn on stage to dance. Though some girls have the option to turn down a stage dance if they’ve got a live one hooked, let’s assume that’s not the case.
When the girl is dancing, sit at the stage and wait for her to come over. At this point, say “I don’t know if that guy is spending money on you. If he isn’t, then I’d like to. If he is, then call me and let me know when you’re here and he isn’t.” Then, give her a healthy stage tip with your burner number written on a blank business card and folded into the bills.
In some instances, the dancer will ask some probing questions along the lines of “How much fun do you want to have?” Meaning, what’s your budget? How to answer this is going to depend on the situation and how much money you *actually* have in your pocket. Don’t tell her you’re interested in a champagne room when you’ve only got $60. I’ll usually say something along the lines of “Definitely some dances, and I’ve got the money for something more private, but that’s going to depend on how we get along.” Other times, the dancer will take the tip and card, give me my stage dance, and say (with a smile), “Sneaky fucker”, and move on to the next guy.
A cautionary note: sometimes the girl will ask, “Can you wait for me to finish with him, then I’ll come straight to you?” This can be a dancer test to see how easily you wrap around a well-manicured finger. In my opinion, it’s a strip club, and not a deli counter. My response to this is: “Honestly, within the next 15 to 20 minutes, I’m going to either find a girl I want to spend time with, or move on to the next club.”
After the stage dance, if she doesn’t come over to me within that time frame, then I almost always get a text or email from the dancer listing her upcoming shifts. Sometimes, she’ll send it to me while she’s sitting with the other guy.
That’s my approach. I would love to hear alternative strategies or thoughts on the matter.
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My ATF had a policy that If I was in the club the only way you could get a dance from her was to ask my permission. Only 2 guys ever did. Both buddies of mine.
I'd pick one little nit -- well, it might seem like a nit, but some of the strippers are a bit sensitive about this kind of stuff. I don't ever say things like, "I don't know if that guy is spending money on you". It's none of my fucking business whether he's spending money on her, and not my place to reference her business model at all. I use a more neutral phrase, like, "I see you're with a customer, I'd like to get some dances if you free up in the next few minutes." VERY often, it turns out it's just a non-paying regular who she likes to shoot the shit with, and all I need to do is mention "I'd like to get some dances" and she comes right over. Otherwise, if she says she won't be available, I offer to exchange numbers so we can make an appointment for next time, and I've never been turned down for that.
Last point -- when I'm hogging my ATF for 4 hours straight, sometimes a guy will engage my ATF at the stage just as you described, and then she'll come back to me and ask if it would be okay if she dances for him. I always say, "if it's just a few lap dances, go have fun; if he's going to take you for a while, then I'd rather you didn't". It's almost always just a few lap dances, and I have no problem as long as she asks me first.
I don't think it's hard to outbid me ... if you have $500, that's definitely more than I'll be spending on her. But I think the reason random guys NEVER pull my ATF from me is because she knows that it's not just the $300 I'll be spending on her today that's at risk ... if she leaves, she doesn't know whether I'll drop her, and that means she's giving up next week's $300, and the $300 the week after that, and the $300 the week after that, ad nauseum. And since I"m her regular, she also knows she can call me on super slow shifts and I'll be there, so if she's smart about managing me, it will work out super well for her. So the marginal extra $200 you'll spend on her this shift -- or hell, a marginal extra $1000 you might want to spend on her -- is chump change. Then again, strippers aren't always great at thinking ahead so you always do have a shot
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Agree! I start getting jealous of my stripper, it's time to take a break. But I also didn't go to the club to sit by myself, I went there to hang out with her, and there's nothing remotely in it for me to just sit around by myself so some other PL can be satisfied. And, I too, never get in the way of my ATF making a few bucks -- but she'll be making it with me (hell, she'll be making more than a "few bucks" with me), that's why she's happy to be there at my table. Some of you guys must think you're worthless as customers ... she's getting paid fairly to hang out with me, and if she doesn't think it's fair, she can move on to other customers and I'll find my next CF. Truly, no hard feelings. But I know my value as a customer, and given what I"m paying her, there's no reason for me to spend chunks of my afternoon sitting around by myself, when there could be tequila shots and feeling-up going on.
If someone wants to dance with the chick that is sitting with me, have at it - it enables me to move on to the next dancer.
I have no loyalty and I don't expect (nor want) the dancers to have any either.
But I have on occasion ran into the locked-down dancer that I want particularly at a mixed-club and it sucks – I don't go out of my way to pry her away except maybe eye-fuck-her some while her regular isn't looking in-order to let her know my interest and maybe she'll make her way to me at some-point – but yeah; approaching her on-stage seems to be about the safest-way and most-polite way to try and get w/ her.
As I said over on the discussion side, I think that's a fine strategy, especially if getting turned down face-to-face is troublesome to you. But the thing is, there's nothing magical about the waitress or bouncer coming over. Guys send waitresses and bouncers over to my table occasionally, and my ATF tells them, "tell them I'm sorry but I'm with a customer and will be a while, I hope to see them next time". If you send the waitress and the stripper comes over, she would have come over anyway if you'd engaged her at the stage and Ishmael suggests. If she's with an important regular and would NOT have gone with you if you'd asked her at the stage, she's not going to come over when you send the waitress or bouncer (at least, that's how it seems to work for me),
The difference is, if you do it yourself face to face at the stage, even if she doesn't leave her regular, now she knows your face for next time (their memories are sometimes remarkable), you can ask her her schedule, you might even get her number so you can arrange to meet her (if making appointments is your thing). There's always little rewards for taking a little risk and handling things yourself.
Depending on how busy it is I tip the stage for the girl I want, and if they dont go to the stage I utilize the waitress and bartender's as a concierge. I have about a 98% rate with these techniques.
The waitresses can do alot more than you think. I get cool with them, get to know them, tip them good. It's been many of times I thought the baddest girl I like was on the floor and she was in the back chillen. I get Intel from the waitress of how many in the back and is there any my type. The waitress will go in the back and bring them to me.
Some days you can't get the one you want so I make the most out it. I get couple dances from others and leave in about an hour and go to another club. Don't let the dancer dictate you having fun, because believe me she looking at you and dancers talk to other dancers about who spending money and who's not. You have to be willing to walk away from any negotiation. Its psychology too.
The cellphone appointment thing with text is cool too. I would say have about 5-10 possible backups because dancers are not the most reliable people to show up or on time.
One thing I can guarantee though if you make your presence known to a dancer, the next time you come in she will be coming to you because the regular will probably be gone and then others will have to wait.
If you can prove you can outspend her regular, chances are she'll visit with you.
My former ATF would simply follow the money. It didn't matter about past visits, etc.
It helped shoot me back to reality. I have no loyalty anymore.
I see showclubs for what they are. I have my fun but don't get tied down to one entertainer.
And if you can't do that, get number if possible to build on when it's slow- you'll be a PL, but hey, EVERYBODY IS SOMEBODY'S PL!= You are her PL if you are spending money. And she is your PL when you are spending money!
If a really hot girl will make note of her then seek out when he not there. I don't go to SC to spend hours with a girl. I may spend money on 3 or 4 dances or do one in VIP for say 200 or proposition one to meet me otc making an offer. A really high demand girl can make 500 and hour or more with quickies at an extras club. Your going to pay her that an hour to sit with you?
I don't own her and she doesn't own me. She is there to make as much $$ as possible, and I am there to have fun. I always prefer to spend $$ on her, but we both understand the business. It is what it is.
There was one time that my ATF was busy when I arrived, and I never did get to spend time with her.
She did come over and apologize. That was one of my most disappointing club visits.
However, she made up for it on my next visit!!