Feng shui... And when I first read that I thought you were talking about interior decorating.

To help you out...

I think colors do help and I often am drawn to black, white and hues of green and blue which I don't see much on dancers in clubs. There's so much black, pink and reds those don't stand out to me, unless the dancer is in total black.

I tried to remember the last outfit colors of dancers that stuck out to me on my last club visits and I can remember 2 over the past 4 months (and about 10+ club visits). 1. A dancer in a bright yellow bikini who was average in looks and 2. A dancer in all black thigh highs, garter and bra which was very attractive. I couldn't even begin to tell you the outfits of the 10+ girls I received dances from and talked to during the last 4 months. The two girls I mentioned I had just viewed on stages and never interacted with.

I'd stay away from the gowns. I remember there was a time when a few clubs did that (maybe still do) but I think a dancer can keep the attention of a patron a lot better in lingerie or a bikini over a gown no matter how sexy the look is.

The effect of color depends greatly upon the complexion of the woman. I'll never forget the vision of my ATF dancer the first time I saw her. She was blonde, fair completed, wearing a sky blue outfit. As she removed her clothing I was of course, mesmerized by her body, but the lasting image, was her dancing in blue. I recently spent time (and money) with a Chinese dancer. Her jet black hair, flowing like silk down her back, was offset by an outfit in the same shade of blue. It's effect on her was different but no less effective. Both of these women have reached deeply into my wallet and my psyche but for very different reasons. One with sex and guile like I've never encountered; the other with a personality and allure which I've found to be rare in strip clubs. Not being a student of Feng Shui I'm unsure of how that affects each of these women, but their impact on me has been memorable.

Lena,

I like women to dress for me, but it isn't going to be quite the same as what strippers do. High heels and makeup of course. But as for the rest of it, if it needs to be taken off, then what is the point of it. So I like them to be in action uniforms, stuff that isn't going to get in the way. Say thigh highs and stockings, or boob out and open crotch teddies. She can wear a sheer robe on top of that if she wants. There are other patterns too.

Strippers usually don't like to do it quite this way, for very practical reasons.

This seems to be the manual for colors: amazon.com

But where I do really agree with you is about that mental and emotional connection.

See my comment on Trixxi's article: tuscl.net

I've never really gone along with the "extras" approach in strip clubs. And I remain skeptical about the quality of SC FS. Not interested in just getting and endorphin rush.

So if you want to get a guy like me into the VIP Room, then yes of course we need to have that mental and emotional connection. What the girl wears is important. But equally important is that I need to see that she and I are connecting to such a point that she is getting off of any type of a service script.

I mean money is why she is there and all dolled up and available. But what I am going to want to have happen goes beyond anything money alone could ever by. I don't want "extras"-FS. I mean sure, I like the way strippers do their hair and makeup. But most of all what I want is to be the one who gets to mess up their hair and makeup. This is just how it goes. So I want her to be emotionally and physically surrendering to me before we get anywhere near any VIP Room.

The best is as it is done in some of the most extreme black and mixed race clubs, a front room makeout session. I would let it start slow and gentle and provide some front room money, money which does not need to be cut with the house. If she and I can do that, then I know that what will ensue in the VIP Room will be phenomenal and life changing.

I will be interested to hear any comments you might wish to make about this.

Wecome Lena to TUSCL and please do keep posting. We need more women's voices and when we have them they do so much to improve the quality of the discussions.

sites.google.com/site/sjgportal/ SJG

21st Century Doors, 2004 youtube.com

Well as a woman club goer you'd think that color would have an even bigger impact on me (coz well we all know how important that is in a woman's life,right?) but ya know what? Nope. I don't give a damn what color she's wearing or even WHAT she's wearing to be honest. I want her naked and it's her inherent natural physical beauty - independent of clothing - that first catches my eye. It's her personality that keeps her there.

You say that your are an experienced "lap dancer". That is a British term. So I am guessing that you are a Brit. That is fine but don't expect the answers given by us yanks to be the same as a limey would.

I couldn't tell you the color of the outfits worn by any of the 4 girls I got dances from last Wednesday. So a specific color has no effect on me. I do like the classy gown look but I think I am in the minority when it comes to that.

I'll be the first to say that I have absolutely no fashion sense, and, in a club setting, it really doesn't impact me. I'll go into a club with some subconscious expectations on what a dancer might or should be wearing -- gowns in higher-end clubs, one-piece minis and other party-style clothing in probably what you might call the middle-class clubs, and anything from blue jeans and t-shirts to street-walker clothing in the dives, with bikinis and lingerie tossed in to random clubs at random times. Nuts, one higher-end club I went to in Indianapolis, I met two dancers -- a gorgeous, older brunette in an evening gown and a girl-next-door blonde in a bikini -- at the same time. The occasion is also going to make a difference. I've been to a couple of clubs where the ladies dressed up in costumes for Halloween and seen some in sports jerseys after sporting events.

But I've never been influenced by a dancer's color or clothing choices (at least not to my knowledge).

No, the thing that really gets my attention is eye contact and a smile, especially if it's from a distance, such as when she's on stage, and I know she's looking at me. Course, when she yells, "Hey, Geek! Get up here and tip me already!" then I know that she's talking to me And, yeah, I go a-running.

Pay no attention to SJG. Notice his "take control" phrases? Sociopath. Plus he already admitted to idolizing serial killers.

Flag on the play for self advertisement.

I think the choice of outfits is personal for the dancer as it should flatter her body and promote the appearance she wishes to project. As for me, I prefer a dancer who looks like she is dressed for a night of clubbing. I guess for me that look works. I'm more inclined to spend my money on a girl dressed that way, then on a girl in a g-string and bra alone.

Color Me Beautiful, 4 seasons

colormebeautiful.com

Asians and Afro Americans are predominantly Winters, and they look best in strong pure colors. Except that I find Vietnamese to often be in-between Spring and Winter.

IME, most women do have a good sense of what colors they look good in. This also applies to strippers.

About making compliments, it does have to be done carefully: tuscl.net

But if you want to try it, say something about how good she looks in that color. After all she might not be wearing something sexy. It is safer to talk about the color then say how skimpy something is or how nice she looks without a bra, or something like that.

But even so, such compliments will not be welcome in all situations.

Once in a restaurant a young Latina wore this devil costume for Halloween. All black, little horns, and pants. But she was also wearing a halter top, exposing her back, and wearing no bra. Few days later I complimented her on the costume and on how good she looked in black. She was smart enough to figure it out. From then on every time I came in there she was getting in my face and taking hold of my hand and smiling at me. And because of her, the other women were also starting to come on to me. This was at Spoons in Sunnyvale. Gone now. They hired very attractive young women exclusively, almost like a Hooters.

But in other situations, no compliments or comments of any type on how a woman looks are welcome or appropriate.

I think strippers usually do know what colors they look good in, and I could even today describe the colors they were wearing when I saw them. I spend a lot of time thinking about what colors they would look good in. I've discussed this with them, and usually when I suggest a color they respond that they agree and that they already have things in that color. I think about the colors because what I would want to do is buy them things to wear for me as I would be photographing them. I want them to dress for me. The pictures would be mostly a ruse for that.

As far as making a mental and emotional engagement with customers, this is really important. I would never agree to any dances without this. Generally I don't agree to verbal pitches for dances, but instead try to find ways to get to know the girls some first. The easiest way I have found to initiate this is to sit at their stage and tip and then let them see how much I am paying attention to them as they pour it on.

I am flabbergasted by how many of the regular TUSCL posters think this sort of mental, emotional, and spiritual engagement is unimportant, or even undesirable.

But I still go back to what I have posted, that SC's are designed to be relaxed hang out and fraternizing places. If a dancer really wants to engage, understanding that the is also there to make money, then she will be on guys laps and trying to get them to start making out with her. She will get a lot further this way than by making verbal pitches.

In AMPs I pick my girl carefully and I manipulate the selection process to let her see that I am doing this. I start verbally courting her right away and I get her DFKing as soon a possible. This does not always work, but there are things one can do to greatly increase the chances. When it does work, what ensues will be mind blowing and both parties will remember it for the rest of their lives. They will also want to start sleeping with each other, that very night if possible.

SC's, because they are more relaxed and hang out oriented places, should be able to be even better.

sites.google.com SJG

Thin Lizzy youtube.com

I don’t like gowns. The more covered up a woman is; the less I get turned on – in fact; in certain dives where dances are given out on the floor; sometimes dancers are walking around totally nude and that is a huge turn-on.

Customers’ preferences are all over the place; and there may be some that do prefer gowns or dresses.

As to outfits/color – I guess it does have an effect when I see a dancer w/ a sexy outfit with a nice color – I think pink often looks good and feminine and I love femininity – yellow is also a nice color – so a nice outfit w/ a nice color helps; but it’s not as if it’s going to put the custy in a trance that he can’t help himself but to get a dance.

I’m into black dancers and often times a bright color like yellow or green neon contrasted on a black dancer’s dark skin (or a nicely tanned non-black dancer) is very sexy to me.

I'm a burlap man, myself.

Hey everybody, thank you for your replies, I’m happy there’s keen interest here in the subject I’m so passionate about, I didn’t expect any less of you, after all US customers are the most visual and outspoken type in the whole world. Now to my responses, I’ll try to attend to everyone:

To shailynn: very helpful feedback, yes color yellow is the most approachable of all the colors and a bright yellow bikini is as catchy as vibrant blonde hair full of highlights. Color white is obviously most visible in nightclubs, especially with dark lighting and works guys better than neons since it communicates peace, serenity, freshness and newness and signifies new beginnings. Also although as you said women tend to go for ‘safe’ black, feminine pinks or bold reds, research shows that men’s favorite and most trustable color is blue, with shades of green coming second on the list. Also when I say gowns I don’t mean a trench coat lol, of cause it can be tiny and flaunt all the key assets, but if a dancer has got a show-stopping body I agree colorful bikinis are the best.

Here’s an example of a ‘power’ gown in the strip industry, just like a ‘power suit’ in corporate world: spurst.com

The power gown is pretty sexy – but still covers up too much for my personal tastes. I def prefer just a small g-string especially if the dancer has a nice booty – why cover it up IMO (unless the dancer is trying to cover up less flattering parts of her figure),

It's totally different in a nude club versus the bikini bars like we have here. In this latter, what they wear for that last unremovable is everything. Can't take it off, and no touching! So it has to be selected very carefully.

But in a nude club where they are just going to pull it off, I think a little more can be better. One in San Francisco had her face done up in white, white shoes, and her hair silvered. She wore a sheer long white skirt with a high slit, and then a matching halter top over her huge tits. She was just delicious to behold.

Very difficult girl to deal with though. Much more friendly on stage for $1 at a time, than in the $20 booth dance. And if she wanted more than $20 she could have said so up front.

That kind of a girl you just have to shine on, which is what I did after the booth dance. If possible to get to know her outside the club somehow, or another day maybe. Otherwise she just had her head up her ass. I heard her talking to other girls about how much she, "Didn't like dealing with this shit." I think what she meant was the place had just opened and so there were not many customers and so it was competitive.

But the other girls, no more awesome than she was, were making money. They were having to build some emotional rapport with guys before they could do that though. This one in white, just wasn't willing to verbally and emotionally engage with people, and her attitude about the money was disrespectful. I always take that as a clue to sit tight. Don't want to try and give more to someone like that as it is a bottomless pit. In some other setting she and I might have been able to get along quite well.

No matter though, as there were two others who I got on with very well. And of course they ended up with most of my money, which is exactly how I would have wanted it to be.

The long skirt and top outfit was good for this one in white though. Totally sheer, and easy to take on and off.

SJG

to gawker: I agree sky blue outfit can really contribute to the lasting mental image in a guy as it’s like a breath of fresh air, a color of pure oxygen, communication and emotional security, inflating and evocative in feng shui it signifies abundance and opportunity.

to san_jose_guy: yes the outfits do need to come off but there’s a point in dressing with intention using colors: to stand out in a crowd of beautiful women in various stage of undress and make that arresting ‘posh’ first impression then be able to instantly upsell.

to lopaw: male and female brain is different. Males have larger right hemisphere, which is responsible for processing colors and images and is intuitive, so they follow it more, are prone to acting on impulse and can be very reactive to subliminal advertisement. Women can use their whole brain when making decisions including the left side, which controls critical thinking, reasoning and language.

to shadowcat: yes I’m british but I’ve met countless American guys when working in London, Edinburgh and Harrogate in UK, I know too well how nations differ and what would work for different cultures, I have the whole chapter complete with a table that includes US, Canada, UK and Australia where I describe what sort of look, colors and style they want on a dancer. US guys are especially visually oriented whether they aware of it or not.

to PhantomGeek: I agree some men are more heavily interaction oriented than others, but still for dancers it does help to advertise smart!

to mjx01: I disagree, there is difference between advertisement and exposure. What I did here is invited an open discussion (I have no control over) on my favorite industry topic - the outfits! If too many men argue with my article surely I am doing more harm to my book sales than favor? Also if my article was an advertisement the tuscl founder wouldn’t publish it. It was a lot shorter initially and he sent me an email saying it seemed incomplete and more detail is needed and that I was welcome to edit and resubmit. Hope this suffices.

to lostsoffun201: I’d have to agree - g-string and bra don’t create much of a unique or personal image, what is being advertised is basically flesh, and the going rate for that alone is very competitive in big and ‘open-minded’ clubs.

to Papi_Chulo: some guys prefer dives where women walking around nearly naked and want to be spoilt for choice of what body to go for, but they are different from a guy who wants to go to middle-class or higher end club and be surrounded by charming ladies. There’s all sort of demand and supply out there, its a free market, but I find if a dancer has to make a choice on how she wants to make decent money in the strip industry then it’s a choice between doing ‘extras’ and creating a fantasy (and upsell).

to SlickSpic: burlap sounds fun. I think it’s a valid dressing strategy if a dancer wants to collect charitable donations towards a warm meal and a generic stripper outfit lol

to Papi_Chulo: thanks for 'digging' the power gown, and in case if you want to get to know her body better it will cost you the price of at least one dance or some tips near the stage! :)

to san_jose_guy: darling I can tell you are a passionate writer.I think you should start your own separate blog away from here,complete with illustrations.Can you draw? Well doesn't matter,you can draw something like freestyle comics depicting your strip club adventures, or you can try to express how you feel using moving GIF images from popular movies. I think people would wanna see it - what really goes on in that head of yours! Words can sometimes fail us.My best wishes.

Lena,

Besides knowing what to wear and in what color, how do you find it best "to make a mental and emotional ‘connection’ with a customer"?

I've posted lots of things recently about how I find this mental and emotional connection to be essential and that I really am not ever going to agree to anything besides sitting and talking or stage tipping, with out that. Otherwise I don't ever accept dance offers in SC's.

And likewise in AMP's I really don't ask the girls for anything. And I certainly don't offer them money. Really its just flirting, flattery, and making it happen with them. I treat them like civilians. This is how the mental and emotional connection is formed. The girls love it. They don't want to discuss. I don't want them to be in service for money mode. I treat all women like civilians in all situations. This is what makes the difference.

Unfortunately, in my opinion, many strip clubs have too many gimmicks installed which mostly make more money for the house and not the dancers, and they certainly destroy any free from fraternizing. As an extreme example of this I would suggest San Francisco's Crazy Horse.

tuscl.net

How to beat the local ordinances which make it very hard to open new strip clubs and which subject them to rules which don't apply anywhere else.

tuscl.net

AMP's are actually not intended to be hangout places and allow for free form fraternizing, but people find ways to change the rules themselves.

tuscl.net

About some underground strip clubs which were lots and lots of fun while they lasted:

tuscl.net

SJG

to san_jose_guy: how should dancers make that mental and emotional connection to a strip club patron? Above all they should just attempt.But the guy will try to resist as there they are spoilt for choice.A solid natural color on a girl would speak to him and make her come across as fundamentally relatable/obvious choice.

Make that emotional and mental connection? I was hoping you would tell us how it is done. The right outfit and the right color will certainly help. But at least as I see it, it takes more than that.

I like tipping them when they are on stage. They see that I am paying close attention to them, and they are showing their stuff. It is lots of fun, basically low cost fun. It is a great start.

I don't think guys will try to resist that mental and emotional connect because there are lots of girls to choose from. See, too many of the girls don't want to promote that connection. They just want to try and sell dances. I for one am always going to deflect that. I'll deflect it for some lower cost activity, or just to get time to talk to her.

Here, I talk about a table dancing circuit which ran in some Mexican Bars. It was lots of fun, and this connection was most definitely formed. It worked because it was playful because it was for a dollar at a time, and it was both pawing and talking, and because the Mexican girls are just fun like that.

tuscl.net

But in the most extreme SC's in the country, the girls just climb on to a guys lap and try to get him to make out with them.

At the Hong Kong Bar in TJ it goes even beyond this. If a guy sits at the stage to watch one girl, another girl will climb up on to the drinks ledge, and get in front of him and try to get him to make out with her.

At AMPs the best sessions are always when somehow the selection process has gotten short circuited and so I am picking my girl in such a way that it has much more meaning for her than it otherwise would. So usually I will end up kissing her up against a wall, or on my lap. Those places are not really supposed to be GFE, but these kinds of sessions turn into GFA ( girl friend auditon ). Yes, I would love to draw pictures of all this. But even more than that, I plan in the future to have such girls here with me to give their own take on it.

And yes, I am starting to make my own web site about such things: sites.google.com

But why don't you tell us how you make that mental and emotional connection yourself. Some others have been posting about how tough it is to make money in strip clubs now. So this would be extremely beneficial.

At this point we still have no idea where you are even.

SJG

to san_jose_guy: sorry I had to ignore you now,you were cluttering my thread with your 'stuff', I was trying to be nice but subtlety wouldn't work on you.It goes with feng shui rule no.1: De-clutter! :)

sorry, Lena....I'm not buying your rationale. You'll find that overall, regardless of gender, or race, or other defining factors, that the average SC goer really doesn't care all that much about color of outfits in general. It's just the way we are. First we see the face, then the boobs,ass,pussy (if it's visible). It is what it is. Not to say that a dancer shouldn't choose outfits based on her own color preferences. I just don't think it will factor in much on a customers ultimate decision on whether or not to buy any dances from her.

I can speak only for myself, Lena. I am an absolute sucker for a woman wearing the proverbial 'little black dress'. In all my strip club visits over three continents I have seen this attire on exactly one stripper. That dancer could have bankrupted me if I had been able to get her in my bouncing on my lap. Unhappily for me, I was shut out by a regular of hers.

The black dress combined with a strappy pair of heels will have me mewling like a love struck puppy every time.

I like a dancer to be in a fresh brightly colored outfit. Blue would be awesome because that's my favorite color. I want to see skimpy but not too revealing. Lots of cleavage showing and lots of leg and thigh showing but not nude until I get them where I want them. I want to list after them first undressing them with my eyes. Then as we play I do the undressing at my own pace starting in the front room make out session then finishing just before we start the real fun in vip.

Oh BTW Lena thanks for your article. I thoroughly enjoyed it. We need more articles from the dancers perspective.

to lopaw: I would expect you to say that, as per my previous response, as a woman you rely on critical thinking and reasoning more than an average male strip club customer. Especially if a guy is overwhelmed with his life and is a bit more 'in his head', wants things a bit more vibrant, stimulating or soothing on mental level which then affects his tangled hurt emotions (with which most men are not being able to deal with as good as women do), as they either avoid dealing with them or descend into addictive or compensating behavior. You’d think men are in a strip club for naked women, but most of them are there because of their emotional needs.

People who go to strip clubs to merely ogle boobs, asses and pussies, like you say, are oriented less spiritually and more animalistically. Their urge is destructive and insatiable, they understand 'connecting' to other human properly as when a part of their body is rubbing against or being inside of another body. They insist that the whole world is within that wavelength, they demand that spontaneous social interactions or entertainment should slope that way. Sensual stimulation is their alpha and omega. But the world is so much bigger than that, and we, humans are so much more than meets the eye. It's when we are searching and receiving spiritually we truly feel alive. This is not something 'I will only pay if I can touch/lick/finger etc' person is able to understand. But by personifying colors we, entertainers can resonate ours and our customer’s energy chakras to create certain vital ambiences, and in turn evoke healthier and more generous aptitudes. We can heal hearts, not fill them with cynicism.

to farmerart: little black dress you say hehe. Some men are really hypnotised by it.It reinforces persons magnetic field and creates the sense of gravity between them and other people, it absorbs vibrations. Little black outfit or dress is what majority of the strippers wear in Britain.Socially I have more of 'sunny disposition' and prefer to radiate vibrations rather than absorb. I favour strong colours. I like being approached and pursued with gusto, I want heads turn fast, then I know I got it just right and I have the controls. They can never think 'maybe' of me, they know their mind when I'm near :)

Lena is this your book here?

amazon.com

I suggest that people read the excerpted pages before they respond to Lena any further.

Lena, just talking about the colors issue first, does your book offer anything over Carole Jackson? Everyone has read that, and the strippers I have seen are very good at selecting colors. It comes down to the fine subtext colors which underlie their skin. Their natural hair color will follow this. If they dye their hair, they should keep the new color inline with these colors which underlie their skin. So then their clothes, jewelry, and makeup can flow directly from this. If you look at the portraits and the color samples in Jackson's book, then it really does become simple. In these pictures one can immediately see the colorations of the people they know, and see why some things look better on them than others. And of course all of this applies to men just as it does to women.

amazon.com

But what I am reading in the pages of your book, and now here in your posts too, is an extremely moralistic agenda. You are intent on distinguishing what you are talking about from the offering of sexual services, and then of making the later wrong. More than this, you are even trying to make sexual desire wrong, and this is really scary!

You post: " People who go to strip clubs to merely ogle boobs, asses and pussies, like you say, are oriented less spiritually and more animalistically. Their urge is destructive and insatiable, they understand 'connecting' to other human properly as when a part of their body is rubbing against or being inside of another body. They insist that the whole world is within that wavelength, they demand that spontaneous social interactions or entertainment should slope that way. Sensual stimulation is their alpha and omega. "

I love it when a girl knows how to dress and makeup. I love it first of all because she has done it intentionally. And I love it because she is showing a willingness to play a part, and probably to play that part for me. This is not some rivalry between the spiritual and the animalistic. She just turns me on, and so I want to engage with her. In some clubs and with some girls it will just verbal or limited touching. But in other situations it will be sex. I'll want to see her yield to me. If not this, then mostly I want to talk with her. I'll want to flirt with her.

But in the expcerted pages of your book you denounce this sort of thinking as the "objectification of women."

You talk about hostessing or courtiership. Okay, but the basic rule of this is that you listen, and you really try to understand what the guy is saying, and you don't disrespect him. This of course is rule number one for geishas. You said in your opening article that this is about making money as a stripper by getting dances, and preferably getting VIP's instead of Booth Dances.

Okay, well wearing something you look good in, and that is of a color you look good in, is a good start. If a stripper does this, I will take notice and I will find an opportunity to compliment her. But to go further than this, to get me spending some real money, then I want to be able to connect with her in some emotional way. I've talked about the lap sitting and makeout sessions, and that is phenomenal. But even when it cannot be like this, there is still talk, and I think this is actually the most important.

I love to talk with strippers, and I am always flabbergasted as I read that there are people here on TUSCL who really don't.

So if a dancer wears something I like, I will compliment her. I will probably sit and her stage and tip her and speak to her when she comes to round up her tips. But if she offers me a dance I will still deflect, suggesting instead that we talk some. I want to know her. I want to see if she and I can connect. I don't need to have her doing some sort of sexual service for me, or doing some sort of head trip on me, unless we can really connect.

So I challenged you to talk about what you do to get this "emotional and mental connection" you speak of, besides selecting the right color. What I have seen that works is when girls know how to talk to guys. Really it is that they know how to listen and they know how to make the guy feel like a king. They can do this because they respect him.

I have posted in many places about this underground table dancing circuit which has ran in San Jose's Mexican Bars. At its core was this group of 6 sisters and cousins. They are the regions most beloved Latina Escorts. If local people read this they should know of these girls. They are from the Mexican State of Durango. Guys like to be with them because of how they make you feel. There is no opposition between the spiritual and the animalistic. There is no denunciation of sexual desire. Rather these girls are just wired up for close face to face intimacy. It is fun to do dances with one them because you will always be up close nuzzling and talking into her ear, and just making close eye contact with one of them is a real trip. They are like this because they respect people. Their culture is working class, and so they respect working class people.

You can't be around them without feeling good. And then of course since with them, they will always want to be kissing and having sex, guys just go for them. They were even bringing their own mini-van to the back parking lot of one of the bars, and doing guys one right after another. For local people, this bar was owned by a man named Jose and his wife D.. For a while they had been doing FS in the main room with the lights down low. But in any situation, these girls are incredible to be with. Just being face to face with one of them does something to you.

The white and black dancers are incredibly jealous of them. They get mad if you even mention one of their names. It is not that the whites and black are not doing the same things. Rather, they get jealous because they know that this group of 6 Latinas are just so much better at it. They are better at it because they respect people and they don't have this moralistic and dissociational approach to dealing with sexuality.

Latina escorts and the Mexican Bar circuit: tuscl.net

Pictures borrowed from the TJ Hong Kong Bar i466.photobucket.com/albums/rr23/archie69photo/hongkong-tijuana-strip-club-6_zpsf2a88c98.jpg

i466.photobucket.com/albums/rr23/archie69photo/hongkong-tijuana-strip-club-1_zps2cde4157.jpg

i466.photobucket.com/albums/rr23/archie69photo/hongkong-tijuana-strip-club-4_zpsf3ef4dc0.jpg

I just borrowed these pictures of this girl from Tijuana's Hong Kong Bar and Cascades Hotel. The pictures themselves are not that good. But the girl herself is just delectable. I love the way she does her eyes. That just turns me on in everyway. I know it is just painted on. But to me it speaks of the passions which wait below the surface. To me it is like she is telling me that she wants me to fuck her all night long. She alone would make a trip to TJ worthwhile.

But if I met her at a local club, where there is no touching, I would be happy to talk with her and to flirt with her. Though I would use subtle language, I would still let her know how I like the way she does her eyes and how that makes me feel.

But if on the other hand a dancer is trying to advance some moralistic agenda of the supposed spiritual versus the supposed animal and trying to say that my desires amount to objectification of women, that is not going to get us very far. The reason I don't accept verbal offers of dances is because I want to know the dancer first. I want to know that we are going to be able to engage. This applies whether it is going to be mostly verbal or if it is going to be sex acts.

So I again ask you Lena if you would tell us how you are able to make this emotional and mental connection with customers in order to get dances, besides just wearing the right outfit. Recognizing that there need to be this connection is right. But just wearing the right color is not going to do it, and a moralistic agenda which denounces animalistic desires is not going to do it either.

sites.google.com SJG

DP, Woman from Tokyo youtube.com

Lena, wow, your reply to Lopaw sounds really condescending toward men. Do you really believe that we don't exercise a discerning eye in strips clubs, that we go there largely to sooth our emotional woes? Because, personally, the vast majority of women I've met have far more baggage than men. The difference is that men tend to compartmentalize things, whereas too many of the women I've met (and these are largely strippers) tend to haphazardly spill their baggage over everything and everyone.

@Smirnova,,, Have you ever dance at a strip club.. was it all nude ?? .. just topless ? Are, was it at a private party... I'm getting conflicting vibes from you

to PhantomGeek: I can see you didn't 'click' with my reply to lopaw. I didn't mean to say that male strip club customers are emotionally needy and wasn't trying to be condescending towards men. Quite the opposite. I was just generally drawing how men are wired differently to women thats all. In case you were offended by how I've described the highly 'sensual' type of customers, I was even being subtle, those typically tend to push beyond what a dancer is comfortable with. Now do you think maybe its not a coincidence so many strippers are hot mess around you? Why do I feel I'm normally being surrounded by witty and assertive ladies at work? The crazy ones always get sacked right away, the rest of us try to stay sharp as much as we can. Perhaps some girls giving you some drama so that you spend money.When it comes to real life though, I agree women can have emotions spilled all over the place if they are immature, they can be like a child who wants to get things by throwing tantrums. Oops, now I can be accused of being condescending to women! I'm not making any hard claims,only sketching you know…

Lena, sorry, but this reply doesn't really "click" a whole lot with me either. And I didn't really see your reply to Lopaw as being so much subtle as obtuse.

@LenaSmirnova. For me your presentation is a little bit too new age-like and comes across as a bit formulamatic but your basic premise is based on sound well established scientific studies.

What is important for strippers to keep in mind is that men are visual. Their target customer is a MALE not their sorority sisters or a fashion magazine. If they ignore that they are sabotaging their potential sales.

^ well said

“… What is important for strippers to keep in mind is that men are visual. Their target customer is a MALE not their sorority sisters or a fashion magazine …”

So many times a dancer has told me “don’t you think my outfit is cute” – and I just want to roll my eyes. Many seem to dress for them and what they think is cute where for me it does nothing. I don’t go to the SC to see “cute outfits” – personally I like outfits to be as provocative as possible; not “cute” – if I want to see girls in “cute outfits” I’ll hang out at the mall and save my $$$.

What Papi said. I also don't care about outfits and found your condescending attitude towards guys insulting.

. Every once in a while the combination of Outfit color/style, Club lighting and music gets me to empty my wallet. Don't know what clicks on which chick. But it's happened to me - in various shades and I cherish fond memories. ... or it could be just alcohol

I'll check your book out. If the first page grabs my attention I'll buy it.

And here's a joke ( n hint for a book that'll sell)

A guy goes to a copyrights lawyer. Guy: "I've got this invention. Rub it lightly on pussy and it gets orange flavor. I need your help in marketing this cream." Lawyer looks at the product. Thinks for a while. Looks at it some more. Then returns it to the guy. Lawyer: "I'm sorry I can't do anything with it" Lawyer: ".... but if you come up with a cream that can be rubbed on orange and it tastes like pussy. Come back and we'll both be millionaires"

Solid colors, black, white or red generally. Green or yellow work on some girls. Pink is kinda sickening. Blue can work, and can fail. Plaid skirts can really work, but that's about the only pattern. Shiny things are good, kinda like fishing lures, it draws attention from far away. I'm a bit too found of touching the girl. Anywhere and everywhere she'll let me. At most of the clubs in my area this is allowed to a point by most girls, and encouraged by many. And, it's really kinda a bit more exciting when she's wearing something to reach under, skirts, loose tops, etc. Nothing too long or too tight that hands get stuck in. And no padding on the tops!!! If you don't want my hands on your breasts, tell me no, move away, etc. don't try and wear 1/2 inch of padding thinking it's going to keep my grubby paws away. I have yet to see a girl wearing one, but one of them loose fitting backless club shirts would really get me going, fantasize about slipping my hands around under one of those with a girl grinding on my lap. And they make them shiny!!! Cause I'm a simple man who's attention is easily attracted to something shiny. What I really wonder about is why they think any customers care about their shoes. I've heard all kinda stories on this, clubs require them, make their calves look better, they have customers that like them (or are just complementing them on whatever and they soak it up). On the other hand, those huge heals they all wear seem to universally hurt their feet, any time they've left them on during a lap dance I've usually been almost injured by them, and the new girls not used to walking in them, or the drunk girls staggering just look absolutely ridiculous trying to walk with them.

Lena, I think you are bringing a most unsuitable moralistic and anti-sex approach to this. I see you as an anti-sex stripper. You stigmatize sexual desire, especially male sexual desire.

We can talk more about courtesans and the importance of talk. I have been posting continually about the importance of developing rapport with strippers, mostly by talk, before letting them get money out of you.

And I have already posted material about my own experiences with a retired Hong Kong courtesan. She would accompany business executives in their travels. Just being around her was a most interesting experience, because of the way she talked. But these guys were still banging her every night in their hotel room. The reason she was here was to get a few more working years by doing escort sessions in an SF-RedBook AAMP. RB-GFE = DFK + DATY + BBBJ + MSOG. I loved to talk to her, but what her boss took immediate notice of was that she was giving guys extra time to make that 2nd pop.

And I have written about some most beloved Latina escorts. Just being around them and making facial contact with them was enchanting. But these girls were doing as many as 30 guys per night each on the floor of the mini-van they would bring into the back parking lot.

I have written about the virtues of Santa Clara County's no touching strip clubs. They are economical and they have been a place for a nerd like me to learn how to flirt with women. These women are open and available, not people with their heads full of some kind of false dualities. It is not that hard to get them eating out my hand. If I had not already been married, I probably would have ended up married to one of them.

And I have also been writing about what a mind blowing experience it was to be doing the women one after another, once I learned that that was on the menu and could be so easily had, at a local Sunnyvale AMP. They would dress for me and compete for my affections, auditioning to become my escort, girl friend, or wife. They were really good.

But first I think we should look some at your book so we can understand where you are coming from:

amazon.com

Lena, from the excerpted pages of your book:

So lap-dancing doesn't have to involve sexual services, or extras, as they are sometimes. But why does a man need something like that anyway? Well, it's called adult entertainment" a man needs to be entertained - by why like that? Surely there are so many ways to be entertained? Isn't it enough to just hang out with attractive friendly women, who mostly try to impress you and make you have a good time? In fact, for a lot of men, hanging out at the bar with a bunch of sexy women still does more than having actual sex with one or all of them. So we have hostessing, or courtiership, a profession that is nothing like new: it goes back hundreds and even thousands of years. . . . What set a courtesan apart from a prostitute, even if she decided to provide some sort of a sexual favor, was that a courtesan was a cultured and experienced performer or 'artisan'. . . . A typical courtesan was in a position to claim her fees because she was more educated, well-presented, engaging and progressive than an average woman of her time. The more talented were emotionally strong, financially secure, had powerful social networks, were treated as equal or equivalent to a society's elite, and even influence the country's politics. Doesn't it remind you of the exotic dancing industry today? . . . You can't expect to have chemistry with a guy if you're not feeling like it. It's lilke being an artist - you need to want to do it, or you won't do a good job. This is where some girls lose their way trying to make it work. When things don't click for them they get drunk or high to loosen up. Or they put almost no clothes on when walking around at work, leaving next to nothing to the customer's imagination. Or they overdo the make-up, bleach their hair, slap on tons of fake tan or grill themselves on a sunbed till they look 20 years older, or have too much cosmetic surgery, but still never feel happy about their looks. Everyone has to deal with rejection sometimes, but strippers have to deal with it every time they go to work, often many times during their shift - when there's nothing wrong with the way they look. How do you stay at peace with yourself under such pressure? Of course sooner or later you start having body image issues and motivation problems. On the other hand, we can also understand the position of the customers here: when they visit a strip club, they can't just give money to every dancer who asks. They have to be selective, which means they will have to eject some women they find attractive or stimulating. If uninspired, girls try to do more in a dance than other girls to tease money out of a guy and this is how 'beaten' strippers are created. They lose their sense of originality or integrity, they become messed up, dysfunctional, vulnerable, tired, aggressive and always a bit of desperate and jealous. . . . A guy visits an exotic dance venue because he wants something interesting to happen, not just some intoxicated, greedy, pathetic, average woman to pester him for money, and offer 'more' or a 'good deal', or 'some crazy dance'; or to meet some unappealing woman who pressures him with accommodating conversation; and nobody wants to run into an intimidating hardcore she-wolf who won't take no for an answer. . . . "

Den of the She-Wolves was a name often used in Ancient Rome for a brothel. As I know, most of the strippers that people here on TUSCL have written about could be well characterized as she-wolves. Many, but not all, of the AMP girls I have had sex with could be characterized as she-wolves. But this does not mean that we do not enjoy them. It just means that we have to understand and acknowledge them for being how they are, and recognize also that it is people like us who have made them that way. Maybe someone should open an SC or an AMP called, "Den of the She-Wolves". None of us would be patronizing such venues if we did not enjoy the company of such women, and often this company is completely sexual.

I think you are trying to sell books on a mass market, consisting largely of non-stripper non-sex worker women like housewives and corporate yuppies, and so they will go along with the major dualism you are promoting, and with the associated moralistic view.

Gawker is right when he says best color choices depend on the woman's complexion. This is the whole point of Carole Jackson's books. Her books are expensively printed so that you can see the underlying colors in her subjects faces, and so that her color samples can be fully appreciated. If you just look at the portraits she provided, you can learn to recognize the color types in the people you know and meet.

Yes, and I for one have posted about this much here, strippers face incredible emotional challenges each day at work. They face rejection, in that guys want to ignore them and try to avoid giving them money. It is one of the rationalizations as to why they should be charging so much in the first place. Trixxi has posted two article now about how competitive it is and how nasty it can sometimes get. She is being honest. But also, she is not claiming to have some special recipe. She is not marketing any particular agenda. She just does her job the best she can.

We all know that strippers are susceptible to substance additions. They go this way to try and cope. I have had them show me the mood altering and illegal chemicals which they use. So I ask them, "Why?" I am told, "I can't do this job without having a buzz."

Okay, but I don't think your book is actually offering any remedy for this. Rather, it is just offering an ideology, a set of moralisms, a kind of a tune out like what some get from the chemicals.

TO BE CONTINUED

Thank you for joining TUSCL, and even though I don't agree with what you are putting out, I am very grateful for your posting your article and letting us know about your book. I hope you will continue posting and contribute to our many on going discussion threads. We need more women's voices here and they add so much to the quality of the discussions.

sites.google.com/site/sjgportal/ SJG

Iron Butterfly youtube.com

to PhantomGeek and sclvr5005: I am sorry to hear you thought I was deliberately being condescending,what I tried to do is outline two polar extremes of strip club customers who are either mentalistic or overly sensual/animalistic,but of course really most guys are a combination of both.And I so appreciate some further comments from people saying that they love colors but also like touching their dancers.It just reminded me how I started out,how things were before I practiced feng shui,when I knew the skimpier outfit I had the more attention I would get and a bit of grinding was a norm.But my vision developed and I've learned how to sell a mere idea of me and encourage trust.So the last few years I ended up in the cleanest club of all,where guys sit on their hands and it's completely contactless dances and girls get VIPs because guys fixate on them.Whoever tries to touch anyone gets warned,then escorted out.I got so used to sex or even explicit nudity not going into equation that I became a bit too new age I agree with slaux_pas here.And I am more content,emotionally and financially secure than I've ever been in this in 7 years,I can do what I like,write books,travel etc. So I'm sorry again if I came across obtuse for some people here.X

to bkkruined: thanks for your input! Generally guys seem not to care for stripper shoes,with a few complaining that they look ridiculous...But I've met one guy who got a ladies shoe fetish and likes most stripper shoe styles.He would bring at least few new pairs every time he visited me at work and make me wear them and sit,walk and go on stage. After 2 years I got a collection of stripper shoes I need a walk-in wardrobe for but I normally choose just one or two pairs I'm crazy about,partly because they are comfy,and just stick with them till they are ruined. In feng shui shoes represent moral support zone so that's why women can be so into having many of them or obsessing about their favourite pair.

One of the most memorable trips to a club was to the Mens Club in Reno. The steak house in the front of the club has great food. I was chowing down my a steak and a lady asked to join me. She was wearing a full on women's business suit, make up conservative, hair done lide a young lawyer. She looked like she just came fromthe court house representing a corporation. AS we talked, things got more friendly and by dessert, she was down to g string. I was so freaking turned on. She made a ton of money that night!

Well, Lena....I guess we will have to agree to disagree. But thanks for the write up. It was entertaining at least.

to mtnboy49: wow this is something I'd love to do-dress like a prude then act the other way round! :)) Unfortunately most clubs I worked at wouldn't allow a dancer to wear anything like that.As I'm the dressiest stripper around I attract guys who want me to wear something specific for them.One customer brought me a full on 50s style swing dress navy with large white polka dot complete with a white belt and massive tulle tulle underskirt! We went straight to VIP when I changed but soon the manager intervened and asked me to go and change as she felt it was too freaky to watch on camera haha.Next time he brought me the iconic Marilyn Monroe white standing over the fan dress and paid for the whole night to hang out and dances many times over a year.Though I'm not blonde he thought I was so classy I easily pull off the look.I loved those nights,kept flashing the big white panties all over the floor and stage and giggle silly! Most of other nights though he'd bring me a few skimpy clubwear dresses to try on and pretend as if we were on a string of dates,a different look per every hour of VIP- the whole night :)

Lopaw, you wrote, "I don't give a damn what color she's wearing or even WHAT she's wearing to be honest. I want her naked and it's her inherent natural physical beauty - independent of clothing - that first catches my eye. It's her personality that keeps her there."

Lopaw, remember when I first joined TUSCL and there was a thread about lesbian customers and lesbian dancers in SC's. I said that what the lesbian customers want from the dancers is completely different from what most men wanted. Men see women as "other", and we are drawn to that about which them which is "other", like their anatomy's and their voices, and their personalities, and also the sorts of social roles they serve. And we like to see these things exaggerated. So along with the social roles that they serve in comes the getting dolled up. We like to see them in flattering outfits and especially in high heels and makeup. We fetishize women, and we fetishize particular things about them.

For the lesbian customers this kind of stuff is not important. So when women dance for women, they will usually forgo the high heels and makeup and everything else.

Lena you wrote to Lopaw, "Especially if a guy is overwhelmed with his life and is a bit more 'in his head', wants things a bit more vibrant, stimulating or soothing on mental level which then affects his tangled hurt emotions (with which most men are not being able to deal with as good as women do), as they either avoid dealing with them or descend into addictive or compensating behavior. You’d think men are in a strip club for naked women, but most of them are there because of their emotional needs.

People who go to strip clubs to merely ogle boobs, asses and pussies, like you say, are oriented less spiritually and more animalistically. Their urge is destructive and insatiable, they understand 'connecting' to other human properly as when a part of their body is rubbing against or being inside of another body. They insist that the whole world is within that wavelength, they demand that spontaneous social interactions or entertainment should slope that way. Sensual stimulation is their alpha and omega."

Lena, your stuff is just wrong. It is moralistic, anti-sex, and anti-men. It goes along with your new age orientation, and that is just another kind of an emotional wall you put around yourself. The strippers who are able to connect with me, and get me to pay for dances, do so because we actually are able to make this "mental and emotional connection" which you speak of, and not because they gain some power over me. Your use of Feng Shui amounts to superstition and belief in something akin to voodoo. Feng Shui, at its best, is nothing like this.

And Lena you have written in your book, " In fact, for a lot of men, hanging out at the bar with a bunch of sexy women still does more than having actual sex with one or all of them. " Hanging out with beautiful women, but without sex, can be fine. But it is fine because they are still potentially able to consent to sex. It would just have to be at some other time and place and in some other situation, and it may never happen. I have posted extensively about the virtues of our own local no touching strip clubs. I enjoy them very much. But I enjoy the women because they do eventually submit to me, though what happens in the club is only going to be "mental and emotional". And most of the time it is never any more than this. But with one who is putting out some sort of an ideology, then no, they would not be fun to talk with at all, and I would certainly be smart enough not be handing her any money.

Most of the things dealt with in the excerpts from your book and in your article are already the subject of active and contentious threads on TUSCL. I really encourage you to jump in.

Here, the PlayPen in Los Angeles. I love their front page girl and the outfit she is wearing: playclubs.net

I would love to have her in an open crotch version of that, and I have already thought of a number of stippers and other girls I have known face to face who would look great in that. It works on her because of her coloration, and because of her proportions. Having her wearing something is more kinky than having her completely naked. It goes along with what I was saying, that us guys fetishize aspects of women, the ways they are different from us, and the roles they can serve in for us.

And then of course the outfit is just right for what this club owner is trying to convey on his web site: "Imagine sinking into one of plush VIP couches, with one of our hottest dancers giving you a full nude lap dance right on top of you. Come get a piece of the action now! " playclubs.net

Here, someone just posted this review of Follies in Atlanta: " October 16, 2014 • ....This is the major league of strip clubs.. To all rookies have a seat,, And learn what it take to be a strip club patron,,, For starters I was allowed to verbally penetrate and masturbate the mind of several entertainers... However, I settle on a.. "

What you are saying about women being conversational partners and how important this is, is true. We all know this. But this reviewer has got it right and you have got it wrong. We want the woman to submit, to open herself, and not to be putting out some non-sense ideology which she uses to judge people and to insulate herself.

Lena, we have lots of ongoing and interesting threads. Please don't feel yourself confined to this one.

Do guys actually like the women they are handing money to for sex? tuscl.net

About legal restrictions, about kissing strippers, and about getting from where we are to escort grade GFE. tuscl.net

sites.google.com SJG

Pompeii, Lupanar, Den of the She-Wolves youtube.com en.wikipedia.org

One of the things I appreciate about my dancer friends is I can talk with them about anything and they will not judge me but will sincerely listen and advise. These girls have brought me through some rough times emotionally and been there for me to love me and caress me and make me " feel like a real man ". I cant do this without their support and I'm there for them because they are there for me. I show them my appreciation and in turn they show me how much they appreciate me. Lena are you there for your clients too ? It will make dancing more profitable if you are. There are guys out there like me that need your companionship and are willing to make it worth your time.

to jestrite50: yes hun that's exactly what I am-a nurturer in nature and at heart,a natural healer.Its fair to say that in general stripping is sales and varying degree of sex work,but it's not what I do.I attract a lot of people with all sorts of difficulty,I look for them too,I want to be needed and soothe someone,I can sense it from a guy when he might need me when I'm a few feet away.My judgement is switched off and I give him this big encouraging smile then just 'go in'.Some times I'm a fairy,other times I'm a mother for them.They don't talk to me much though they just chill in my company.We have another girl in the club,Ruby who specialises in listening to guys in VIP.She makes great money,but can't cope at times,complains they bring too much negativity to her life,their problems are absolute horror and almost unbelievable.She then has to go to regular sessions with a proper energy healer to help her not to get too low emotionally.Another girl I met at a different club is a mix of me and Ruby,she also works as a qualified social worker,she evokes both emotional warmth and deep conversations,causes the guy to completely express himself but doesn't let it affect her,makes fortunes in dead nights! So curious there's no person on Earth she is not interested about,got hypnotic gaze:)

Those are the girls i seek out. Beautiful girls that will spend time just being with me. Just listening to what I have to say. I'm not negative like the guy you mentioned though. After about a 15 minute conversation with me you will find me encouraging you, complimenting you, caressing you, loving you, kissing you. I have a lot to give. More than enough for several women at one time. I love to give I love to please. If I can make you happy I have accomplished what I've set out to do. In sex I'm not a "slam bam thank you mam" kind of guy. I find it more important for you to be satisfied sexually than me. Making you happy makes me happy. I find that girls like to be spoiled and dancers are girls and they like being spoiled too. I take every opportunity to spoil them! And they make me happy by allowing me to take them shopping. Taking them to get their hair done. Taking them for manicures and pedicures. I've done all of that and what makes me happiest is when they are done I get to pay the bill for them. I open car doors for them when we go out I pull out their chair for them in the restaurants. The girls love it because they are not used to being spoiled like that and I love having a beautiful 20 something girl on my arm to show off when we go out and in my bed that night so I can show her how a woman can be spoiled in bed with sex like she's never experienced before. So Lena that's me and I love helping Dancers / entertainers (Not strippers) make more money.

Thanks Lena for writing this article. I would enjoy hearing more of what your thoughts are concerning this industry. Can't wait for your next article.

@jestrite50: I'm grateful for your input too,thanks,I am thinking of the notions I'd like to research through posting on this website.If you are interested in more of my writing for strippers you can check out my blog lenasmirnova2013.blogspot.co.uk. Right now I'm busy studying Halloween colors and Paganism to see if there's connections with feng shui,so I could write new stuff for my blogs:) Have a happy Halloween! X

It might depend on a dancers body but I have noticed I tend to be more attracted to blondes rather than brunette. I didn't think it made such a dramatic effect on me until I've seen girls who dyed their hair and they looked a whole lot different.

I haven't paid a lot of attention to outfits enough to go into detail. I do notice them but care more about what's underneath. I do remember one dancer who used to drink with me. She offered to change outfits and in her case, I thought she looked hot in a red bikini and red thong outfit she had. As far as wearing a whole lot more, I prefer to see less clothes on.

Script for the 1958 film Gigi. askville.amazon.com

Maurice Chevalier starts out making this speech in the park, just before he starts singing "Thank Heaven for Little Girls".

His main premise is that there are two kinds of women, the married kind and these courtesans. Gigi is being trained to become a courtesan in some kind of a school.

Of course the main drama of the film is that Gigi rejects this role and this idea that there are two kinds of women.

Bonjour, monsieur. "Bonjour, madame"... and company. Good afternoon. As you see, this lovely city all around us is Paris. And this lovely park is, of course, the Bois de Boulogne. Pardon me. Who am I? Well, allow me to introduce myself. I am Honoré Lachaille. Born: Paris. Date: Not lately. This is 1900. So let’s just say... ...not in this century. Circumstances: Comfortable. Profession: Lover and collector of beautiful things. Not antiques, mind you. Younger things. Yes, definitely younger. Married? What for? Now, please don’t misunderstand. Like everywhere else, most people in Paris get married. But not all. There are some who will not marry and some who do not marry. But here in Paris, those who will not are usually men... ...and those who do not are usually women. Now, for example, here we find exhibit A: The married kind. These ladies stood their ground And won And I salute them, every one Here are some others to behold For whom the bells have never tolled Oh, what a poor, defenseless pair In those pathetic rags they wear And there is the future. Someday, each and every one of them... ...will either be married... ...or unmarried. How adorable they are!

I don't go along with this idea that there are two kinds of women.

But I also don't go along with the idea that there are courtesans and then there are prostitutes.

SJG

I agree with you about the emotional connection. The way I do that is through eye contact and smiling.

@Corvus sorry you couldn't find my blog,not sure why that is but anyways here is a link to it:lenasmirnova2013.blogspot.co.uk

@sharkhunter: i have to add that typically a strip club's good earners fall into two categories: babes and divas. Babes are more athletic, do more on a pole, hence got better bodies and wear as little as possible.Divas dress up and try to look almost too good for the club.Good spenders can be attracted by both types, but divas look for and tend to catch more big fish while babes always surrounded by a swarm of small fish get distracted,though still earning good money but less than divas.Just my observation.

@justifer i agree that eye contact and smiling is a must but the 'bulk' of my emotional connection with a customer comes from warm hugs and delicately holding their hand to lead them where i want them-to the till or to the cubicle:)

Lena, this gets back to what I was asking you to clarify before, about making that 'mental and emotional connection', besides just by selecting good colors.

I am not sure who @Justifier is. Seems like a new registration. Not sure if they could be female and a dancer. Usually if a woman has an open body posture, makes eye contact, and is smiling, then she is trying to make that connection.

This sort of thing, how to get that connection with a dancer, before agreeing to go into any 'cubicle', has been a subject of frequent discussion and it is a personal issue of my own.

tuscl.net

tuscl.net

the master himself, Jestrite50. In my opinion this guy says it all right here: tuscl.net

If warm hugs and hand holding works for you, okay. I'm not going to try and tell you how to do your job.

SJG

Why do I feel like I just read through War and Peace Vol. 1 and 2?

Geez... This thread is a freakin' novel!

Warhawk, yeah, you can pretty much thank San Jose Guy for that. I don't think he even noticed the Lena hit the Ignore button on him back on October 13.

Thanks for the entertainment, Lena, even though I think its a bunch of fluff. First, consider that the vast majority of Tusclers are USA, where clubs/customs are much different than those in UK.

I'm in 100% agreement with lopaw and shadowcat in that colors aren't nearly as important as a dancers naked attractiveness, personality, sexuality, etc. I'm guessing in your UK environment, getting "called over" first by customer is an important factor in competing with other dancers. But while outfits may attract initial attention, the other factors are required to keep my attention. Good performance in meeting customer expectations will keep one coming back for you on subsequent visits, not the color of the outfit. I can recall what color outfit one fave of mine wore over 20 years ago. She wore a dark blue large dress shirt. What attracted me more than that was she confidently sat on the table just in front of me in full view, introduced herself, and started chatting. (Not wearing any panties, and having shirt open to expose her large natural breasts didn't hurt either. Truth be told, I remember those more vividly than her outfit color.) Most importantly, she didn't hit me up for dances, or VIP. Needless to say she got some business from me that night, and on many repeat visits .

@warhawks haha I guess thanks to SJG I have a published novel on tuscl now that I can't edit,yes War and Peace indeed! unfortunately ignore button works only for my account..

@Lena,

Most of the people on this forum are used to harder core strip clubs then the ones you seem to be accustomed to. But this is not so for me. Where I live, Santa Clara County, CA, the SC's are strictly no touching. So it is just looking, talking, and flirting.

I challenged you many times to describe how it is you establish this "mental and emotional contact" of which you speak, besides just by selecting the right color. You declined to respond and acted like there was something wrong in my asking that.

Now you say that it is by warm hugs and holding hands.

In the strip clubs which I am most familiar with, connection is established just by talking. If you are getting along with someone and if they like you and you like them it is obvious. So while physicality can help, it is not an absolute necessity.

Likewise I and others have posted information about choice of colors.

Are you now willing to admit that your invocation of Feng Shui is just a rationalization for maintaining emotional distance and a condescending attitude, not that much different from what you have consistently displayed on this thread, regarding your customers. You have somehow made it your objective to take money off of people whom you hold in contempt.

SJG

@minnow I've met a lot of Americans through work and had very mixed experience.Some of them were rather wild and always moan right away that it's a one way dance,others noted that I was dancing too close comparing to how it's in US..and nipple accidentally brushing through the face is a bit over the top lol.I know both are right,there so many states in US and they all dictate different types of limits plus a lot depends on the club management as well.I also met US dancers working here so I'm well informed...I have to say I was left a bit stunned when I read lopaw's first comment,it was very hard to accept how gritty the industry can be...but I know different too,I had a US regular who is responsible for my massive outfits and shoes wardrobe and he never tried to touch me in VIPs. As for unimportance of stripper image I disagree,on a good Saturday night I know girls can make a hundred dances with random guys if they look 'just right' and keep at it.Not gorgeous and plain dance,occasional VIPs just because the guys money burning his pocket.Being called over happens a lot when it's busy and the girl is extra visible but other nights it's a hassle and battle of wits:)

Hi Lena I read your blog and enjoyed reading it. I made a comment on the one section but you must not have read my comment to approve it. I found it an interesting read though and it helped me to get into your head a little.

@jestrite50 glad you found it interesting,i approved the comment,thanks.Sometimes i wonder if my ideas are accessible enough for broader spectrum of readers, as when i speak to my colleagues i always have to use different way of conceptualising (typically general psychology) than the one i use for myself (esoteric concepts) so that they understand what i talk about in a few words sentence and we have a productive exchange. But in my blogs i really talk how i think in my head while unfolding some esoteric notions along the way, but trying to keep it subtle so it won't become overwhelming on unprepared reader…i am impatiently waiting for some 'deep' people to come forward and give me interesting comments or insights, i know it will ignite me like a torch and i will explode with new material! :)

To san_jose_guy: came here without signing in and omg what have you done to my thread,its a monstrosity! i've answered your question about connection and you keep asking over and over again! For the last time: a connection between two people is rather a spiritual happening, its either there or its not,what a dancer can do though is actively look out for people she can connect with and colours help her to be more apparent to men who subconsciously seek an emotional connection.But as concluded by previous comments it will not work on a man or woman who is seeking sexual gratification.

Also if i advocate a non extras approach to stripping doesn't make me arrogant or whatever it is you thinking of me.Arrogant strippers evidently don't give warm hugs so stop accusing me of being a manifestation of your painful insecurities,thank you.I worked very hard long shifts in tons of clubs for many of my best years,always looking great,very supportive,sweet and playful,making my guy feel good on the inside.If it makes me a fraud not to serve it with a bj every time then i apologise to whoever need that apology lol. Now SJG bugger off!

@LenaSmirnova “Now SJG bugger off!”

There’s a saucy lass. I haven’t heard “bugger off” for some time now. I’m getting all misty eyed.

As for SJG just remember that you can’t expect too much. The dross always end up in the colonies.

LOL! I like a woman with sound ! Now that is SEXY !

@ Lena I give and receive lots of warm hugs ! I love them and so does Olaf ! (Disney "Frozen" LOL !) I appreciate what you say about colors. I have been in clubs where almost all the girls are blonde and they are almost all wearing white. It confuses me after 10 or 15 sets and I forget who was who. I like color and I think color needs to be co-ordinated with their routine. I had a dancer friend that danced under the name Scarlett. I begged her to wear a red outfit every time she went on stage. My dick would get hard every time I would even think about her in that red outfit. I couldn't convince her to do it though. Most of the time she wore white or black. Blah! Not my choice. Girls need to separate themselves from the rest of the crowd in my opinion and do something that makes them stand out and be noticed.

I wrote "I like a woman with "spunk" Damn spell check changed it and I didn't catch it ! LOL !

I wrote "I like a woman with "spunk" Damn spell check changed it and I didn't catch it ! LOL !

Stupid auto-correct anyway But considering she's British, there would be the sound of her accent, too, so you really can't go wrong with "sound" in this context.

@Lena, I've never criticized you for going for a non-extras approach. Not in the least. If you actually read the things I've posted, you would see that I don't go along with the "extras" approach. As I've replied so many times to @LDK, I don't go along with things intended solely to produce male ejaculation. He and many others on TUSCL live for that because they are addicted the endorphin rush and because they don't want to emotionally engage with the women. I don't do it that way and I don't encourage it for anyone else.

I also don't like the "extras" approach to FS. I see it as just a gimmick. I don't encourage it.

I like GFE-FS. But I fully respect the fact that many dancers won't want to do this and that in many places it would be legally unwise.

I am always quoting a dancer who told me, "Don't use strip clubs for sexual gratification, that is perverted."

You're speaking at me, but you still aren't hearing what I am saying. I asked you to explain how you achieve this 'mental and emotional connection' which you speak of, besides just by selecting a good color to wear. You refused repeatedly to answer me and you displayed contempt for me in your responses.

Now, much further along, you have spoken of 'warm hugs and holding hands'.

Most of the TUSCL members are used to much more than that. But not all. I for one have always been quite comfortable with our own none touching clubs. 'mental and emotional connection' is often obtained simply by talking, and I have always enjoyed this. It is easy to tell if someone likes you and if you are getting along with them.

But my concern about your book has always been that your use of Feng Shui concepts is actually a way of declining 'mental and emotional connection'. You seem to be using it to insulate yourself, so that you don't have to engage with people, and so that you can treat them with contempt. On this thread you have started you have displayed contempt for me, and without even attempting to understand what my views are. You have also displayed an open ended contempt for male sexual desire and for those drawn to strip clubs because of it.

Will you admit now that your use of Feng Shui is simply a gimmick to make it easier for you to take money off of people you disrespect? And will you admit that writing a book which is seemingly about stripping is just for the titillation value, and that actually your book is pitched to housewives, corporate strivers, and to other non-sex workers?

SJG

@jestrite50: I hear what u saying,but in my case it was the other way round,I had a regular who's favourite colour was black and he was vey excited on different levels at the thought of me wearing all black with black shoes but perhaps completely bare back down to the butt or one bare leg...though I felt that look was depressing and not what the mainstream guy wants.So as soon as my regular was out of the door I would change into my money making bright coloured mini dresses and put big flower in my hair like its a carnival! :)

^^^I am liking this girl more each and every time she writes

Yes ! She is a fabulous writer and gets me excited just reading her writing. @ Lena Thanks for your thoughts. I can do black and black is sexy but it seems it gets overdone. I like to change it up now and then an do someone different ! ; )

I've realized I'm very picky. The mental connection is huge for me. I've realized that without that, I really only want true knock-outs, women with both bodies and faces that would rate at least 8/10 and typically are 25 or under, ideally with natural breasts. Since understandably very few girls fit all these criteria, a woman has to bring something else to the table.

At this point in my "career" I still thrive on perceived mutual sexual attraction. I know what my strong traits are, and I know and appreciate a genuine compliment. The best dancers know how to make a customer feel like if we met at an airport bar somewhere, we'd end up spending the night together.

Barring that, I want a good story. Too many dancers are lazy and ask closed ended, sometimes overly personal questions about me. The story doesn't have to be true, but it should be plausible. Perhaps she's a surfer, a country girl who loves horses, maybe she's studying to be a nurse. If we met in a bar and she was fully dressed, would I still be interested in what she has to say? Even if it's just sharing a collection of her preferences, that can still flesh out the picture and make her more of a real person.

I have nothing to say about the color thing, other than from a competition standpoint it's better to zig where others zag.

@JamesSD I agree with some of your points here. I am in sales and I need to differentiate myself in a positive way from my competitors. Dancers are also in sales and service. They need to make themselves stand out from the crowd in what they are selling. They need to be beautiful, clean, and professional in what they offer. Their services need to be better and more desired than the other ladies they are competing with. I'm not sure I've used all the right words here but hopefully everyone understands what I mean. If the price is fixed as it is in many clubs why not get the best for your money.

@jestrite50 well i've heard red ties kick ass in sales jobs but yellows make the guy look like he shouldn't be taken seriously,so now that we are friends i'm looking out for you and hope you got the right feng shui:) years ago as a very visual person i used to go to professional image advice websites to dress myself right for job interviews and important functions.i used to work in accounts so typically wore a solid navy blue power suit with a pencil skirt and crisp white shirt to interviews (the industry's recommended look),to show how neat and intelligent i am,and got a job every time,once out of an over a hundred candidates.but in day to day work style i was going for greys to communicate synchronicity and blend into a wall so people get off my case and just leave me to get on with my job lol. now,how times have changed! :)

Yes how times have changed ! We have drifted into a business casual decade and my boss told me to never wear a tie when I started there 11 years ago. Most of my customers are women business owners and I do well in sales because I treat them all like queens/princesses. Some are very hott AND I LOVE wineing and dining them on the bosses money. Some have become close friends but I draw the line there. It would be very unprofessional to enter into a sexual relationship with a customer no matter how hott they are and how bad they want it at the time. I do not mix business with sexual pleasure. I leave that one to people who are in the sex industry. LOL! But back to the point Dress is Important. If you don't know 2 girls and they are both hott I will pick the one with the brightly colored sexy costume every time. Now black is sexy but it can also be boring if everyone is doing it. I just see too much black and white in clubs now. Give me the "Lady with the Red Dress on

@jestrite50 It's about colours but also about 'colourful'.I used to wear either black or red when I started stripping as they are the obvious two choices and alternatives for a vamp girl which I am.But then on my travels I've met one girl who done so good dressed as a bellydancer while all the girls hated her for looking like a weirdo.It got me thinking,that style wasn't suitable for my type so I started playing with bright colors and hair flowers.I annoyed a lot of colleagues looking like its a carnival but all I had to do is stand near the bar and I attract drunk guys like butterflies,they wouldn't even scrutinise my figure just look at my big smile and massive yellow flower in hair and go 'Go on then!' Sooner or later some girls would give up and try to copycat me but these things go with personality and attitude too so it didn't shine on them as much as me:)

I remember how this belly dancer looking girl murmured to me: I know them all girls think I'm a weirdo because nobody looks like me,but what they are in denial about is that it's exactly how I'm doing so well in my job.I tried everything,I worked in all kinds of clubs,now I'm a professional and know exactly how to market my product.When the guy lines the strippers up something different about her should make him think 'this one'! Well that was my major eureka moment on the path to learning what true success in stripping is all about.With time I not only tweaked my own stripper image to magnify my presence at work but any image advice I gave to other girls in the last few years really did produce surprisingly positive results.Its not all about brightness and colours,some girls are more subtle and their look flourish in pastels or even black or white or metallics.

@Lena, I guess to each his own but for me being different is hott. I can remember a girl at Deja Vu in Toledo that didn't dance to anything but Classic Rock and she used Rock n Roll dance moves as she stripped and not your standard routines. I thought she was hott and she got my attention real quick. I had to have her and she could have named her price. Very sexy next door type girl with sexy sensuous Rock n Roll moves. She rocked my world !!!