Comments by reverendhornibastard

@RonJax2 - I haven’t been to Tijuana since I was 11 years old and, as you can probably guess, my dad failed to introduce me to La Zona Norte on that trip. But from everything I’ve heard about the clubs in La Zona Norte, they are much like the clubs in SE Asia where I lived and mongered for about 14 years. In that respect, SE Asia was a little slice of heaven. I don’t know how it works in La Zona Norte, but in Jakarta’s better clubs you NEVER have to worry about a police raid because the police own & run the most outrageous clubs!

@chiefwiggum, I would LOVE to try some of the clubs in South Florida. I have certainly heard plenty of good things about the clubs down there. Unfortunately, I have no reason to go to South Florida other than to check out the strip clubs, and despite my name, I’m not so desperately horny that I would travel that far just to check out a few dens of depravity. But if I ever get to South Florida without my family in tow, I will definitely wander into some of the more disreputable strip clubs with my trousers bulging with cash and shameful intentions!

@mahatmakanejeeves - enjoy Centerfolds if you go but remember, despite the high mileage, you are definitely going down market. If The Saint James is the Ritz Carlton of Houston strip clubs, then Centerfolds is the Motel 6.

Wasn’t me! Although the Church is one of my favorite clubs, it’s been a while since I’ve been there. Beyond that, I have never rained singles down on anyone. If I am determined to get a dancer’s attention, I will approach her on the stage and ask her if she is available to join me when she gets off the stage. If she says, “yes,” I will give her a $20 or two and tell her it’s a down payment. That works most of the time but I gotten stiffed a couple of times (and not in a positive way).

@CostaTheCrazyGreek - I’m pretty sure AI hasn’t learned the words “desplooginate” or “desploogination.”

While it’s true that beauty is only skin deep, ugly goes clean to the bone. I never settle for ugly in the clubs. If I’m looking for ugly, I just look in the mirror!

Thanks! Chastity is the most perverted of all human sexual deviancies Depravity is definitely where it’s at!

@wld4tatas - I do feel like the money was wasted (but I haven’t stopped l). I covered 6 continents because my career caused me to live in 5 countries on 3 continents and to travel very frequently damn near everywhere else. Since I mostly traveled alone, there were LOTS of opportunities to go out and find trouble. I will admit that I’m slowing down now. Some people say it’s because with age comes wisdom. The truth is so much simpler. I get tired more easily than I used to.

@ancientluker & @londonguy - Admittedly shrouds are not made with pockets, but you CAN take it with you. I’ve got friends who have invested in caskets with luggage racks (made for people who want to take it with them)!

@DeclineToState - I’m partial to Beefeater and to Bombay Sapphire. Hendricks is good too but is usually unavailable in the dives I go to.

@EastCoaster - I didn’t start eating pussy until I was 16 years old and probably would have not started until much later but for the fact that I was “tutored” at age 16 by a 26-year old woman who was afraid of grown men but comfortable playing with the heads of 16-year old boys.

@JAprufrock - I wholeheartedly agree - there are few pleasures more satisfying to a guy’s ego than making a gorgeous young woman writhe in sexual ecstasy while you run your tongue and lips over her most intimate square inches. I once ate a stripper (you’re correct about their attention to hygiene) in the VIP room of a Houston club. She was standing on a bench seat straddling me with her koochie planted on my face. As I began treating her to my Lickety Lube services (“Have Tongue, Will Travel”), she began to moan softly and to jump my face. I’m a born skeptic and was convinced she was just feigning pleasure for my benefit. After all, she’s a stripper, right? But I didn’t care. I was having a great time eating her pussy and that’s all that mattered. She became increasingly excited (or pretended to be increasingly excited) as our session progressed. But I still wasn’t buying it. I was sure she was just putting on a show for my benefit. Then she suddenly made a very unladylike noise, shivered and began to fall backwards off the bench seat. Concerned that she was going to split her head open on the coffee table, I grabbed her ass and pulled her toward me before she fell backwards. She then collapsed onto the bench seat in a pool of giggles. I was finally convinced that she wasn’t faking it. I had actually gotten through to her. She then wanted to fuck but I (almost) never fuck in a strip club. We agreed on plans for some OTC fun on following day (her boyfriend was going to pick her up after she got off work that evening). But it never happened. I had some a better option the next day when a young lady attorney made it abundantly clear to me that she desperately needed some “one-on-one” mentoring from a more senior lawyer.

I understand how you feel and often think the same thing. But I don’t believe it is that cut and dried. No doubt there are some people who simply feel life is easier spent panhandling than working. But I also believe that there are some living on the streets who can’t help themselves. I’m no social worker and don’t pretend to understand why these people can’t get or keep a job but I suspect mental disabilities are at the root of it for many of them. “Take your meds” is easy enough to say but I’m not so sure how effective that advice is when it lands inside the head of a crazy person.

If I had to pick between a tiny G-string that was not stretchy or a less skimpy but stretchy G-string, I would definitely always pick the stretchy G-string. The stretchy ones are so easily pushed aside and rendered irrelevant. Just thinking about them makes my teeth sweat!

Most of my outrageous escapades have been chronicled in posts (mostly in the TUSCL discussions page). Strangely enough, most of these wild escapades did not strike me as particularly wild or extraordinary at the time. But now that I am an old man, I have difficultly believing I ever did those things (or that such things ever happen to me)! These wild memories feel like they must surely have happened to somebody else, but not to me!

@magicrat - You and others offered the opinion that a stripper who wears double G-strings does so to keep wandering fingers out of her pink parts or for other reasons hygienic reasons. That makes perfect sense if she leaves both of those G-strings on. But not if she peels off the outer G-string and the inner one is one of those “barely there” dental floss G-strings that is so thin, loose and stretchy that you can easily to slip a hand or a long muscular tongue into. When she takes off the outer G-string and that’s all she has under it, it’s an open invitation to explore her unprotected wetlands!

I am frequently at the Church and have seen what you are describing. I don’t get it either but I haven’t really given it too much thought. Mostly, I’ve wondered how much cash this idiot is throwing away. One of the dancers who he had showered with cash told me that the banded rolls were only $7 on average. In addition, he sometimes tosses fist-fulls of loose $1 bills down. It’s hard to count them but I estimate it’s between $30 and $50 per toss. I don’t know why he does this. Some dancers he throws money at make a beeline for his table when they get off the stage. You might have thought they would all do that but some don’t. When I am engaging in “natural selection” and identify suitable prey on the main stage, I don’t throw $1 bills at her. I saunter up to the edge of the stage, slip her a $20 or two and engage in some brief, lighthearted banter about how my DNA would LOVE to party with her DNA, then nonchalantly smooth my eyebrows down with my tongue before returning to my table. That usually works.

I am not racist. I will fuck any sexy woman, any time, any place. Hell, as a gentleman I will occasionally even canoodle a moderately unattractive woman just to be polite!

@Gatsbytx - I was hesitant to leave such a scathing review, but decided it would be unfair to pull any punches after having previously left glowing reviews for this place. It is possible it might bounce back, but I am VERY unlikely to drop in on Centerfolds again.

@jusflor - 2 AM is WAY after my bedtime. In fact, 2 AM is not too long before I get up to START my day!

@Call.Me.Ishmael The dancers are fugly, the drinks are overpriced and lousy and the club smells like a New York City subway station but you STILL need more club details? Wow! And here I thought I was desperate!

@Tetradon @deepthinker You guys crack me up. Even though you’ve been told that the club has no girls worth ogling and that you’d be much better off going to the zoo to gawk at the naked animals, you STILL need more club details??? Perhaps the availability of a $2.50 blow job from a 51 year old dancer who bears a striking resemblance to Ted Cruz in pasties … would that be enough to change your mind?

@bfc1978 - an Octoroon is a person whose ancestry is one-eighth black. It’s a term that was used more widely in America’s more flagrantly racist past. I use it humorously to describe anyone who has some, but not much, African ancestry. As for dance prices, I don’t know for sure because I didn’t get any on this visit. But I did have a few dances on my prior visit. I don’t recall anything about the dance prices one way or the other, so they must have been $20 each. I go nuts for women with that cafe au lait skin tone.