discussion comment
17 years ago
I was thinking more about these tricks and how they apply to stripclubs. In a manner of speaking there a con, a fraud, a sucker's swamp, and most importantly FUN as was as being an illusion.
A genuine dancer can be a lot of fun, but the fraudster can definitely be a lot of fun if she is smooth. The dancer with ability to dilate her pupils was an example of a fun fraudster. With her eyes she was able to create the illusion of extreme interest on her part. After I paid my money she revealed her trick to me and she seemed upset that I still didn't get it. I got it, but it was a special trick that I don't think many dancers can do and also it was a trick that for me at least still retained its character even after being revealed. I read prostitutes in Italy used to put Belladonna (translation?: pretty woman) in there eyes to dilate their pupils. The large pupils fooled the customers into thinking the woman liked them.
I'm a huge fan of the con artist type dancer (and other con artists) when it is done with skill. Usually what I see with con artists is a truly stupid scam that should be visible a million miles away and involves the "free" lunch. An excellent example of this that keeps working is the stranger who finds some money and wants to share it with you, but first he has to be sure you're trustworthy. Trust him with a small amount of money and then he will trust you with a large amount of money. Another involves a business deal where one party is supposed to put up all the money while the other persons puts up the labor. At the last moment just to make it "legal" the other party asks for a nominal investment. If you're dumb even to fall for the nominal investment, then the con artist will try and milk you for more money to "save" your original investment.
A bank pulled the "save" your original investment scam on me--Points were supposed to be around 1 or 2 percent. Upfront costs that I paid including appraisal were $300. Remember this is a big bank with federal insurance and all that jazz and I was just a small customer so I was shocked when the fraud was rolled out like a red carpet. The banker says he was excellent news for me, I've been approved for the loan (my credit was excellent) and he just needs me to come down and sign the paper work. Imagine my shock when I see EIGHT POINTS!!! I practically had a heart attack and then thought it was some type of mistake. The banker says well if you don't accept it, then you will lose your $300! He was stunned when I said take the $300 I'm not giving any more money to a crook. Then he starts yapping there is going to a lawsuit against me for calling him a crook. I say look, if I get a jury trial you'll be paying damages you stupid crook! Then he says he is going to call security. I say that is even better CROOK!!! We just stand there at that point and I say what are you waiting for? I thought you wanted to make a big issue out my calling you a crook? Let's make it a big issue already, I'm definitely game there is always the slim chance I'll get a jury trial. With that he says he doesn't want any trouble and would I please leave. I say not a problem at all, good riddance. That was that. :(
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discussion comment
17 years ago
.
Years ago this larger woman was trying to convince me that I didn't need small attractive women. I liked her personality and spent hours talking with when the club was slow. She never asked for dances or money and I didn't feel guilty because she knew exactly what I was looking for---Young, and Small!
She believed that I was brainwashed--by the media, friends, family, etc.--- and that looks weren't that important. She was positive of it because that is how she felt. She was attracted to the character and personality of the person which was the only logical attraction.
A very long period of time passes and I must have spoken with her for 100s of hours. She was a fun intelligent person. I could see her as a buddy, but I sure wouldn't want to get sexual with her. During all this time I don't think I even tipped her $5 total--she wasn't what I needed and I didn't have a lot of money and I was cheap. Finally, one day she says she wants to prove to me that looks are irrelevant. She doesn't want a penny from me (very important at the time), but just wants the opportunity to prove that I don't need a certain look. I'm shaking my head NO, NO, NO, because that is what I feel. She isn't ugly she just isn't what I'm interested in.
I end up caving in and letting her do whatever she wants. :( Most guys I think would have been thrilled. I just wanted it over with because I knew how my body responds. So she is working and working and working and she has good skill and is enthusiastic (sp?) which is nice. It seems like forever (with a pretty girl I get excited immediately) with new songs keep coming and coming and after all this she gets some minor reaction. She is all excited and says SEE SEE!!! I told you I was right. It hurt her feelings big time when I told her that she proved the exact opposite. It took her forever and my response wasn't much at all. It was a negative. :( The right girl and I'd be getting excited like BOOM and stay excited-- even breathless. Even if I don't like the attractive woman, I will get excited.
So that ended that and she didn't talk with me anymore. I don't think I swayed her even a little bit. I think she is still convinced assuming she is still alive, that attraction is learned (phony) and can be unlearned and that people are naturally attracted by important things like intelligence, personality, character, etc.
discussion comment
17 years ago
Hi lopaw,
I'm from the U.S., but the culture sure wasn't mom and apple pie nor flag waving. I'm too old--mind, body, and soul. :) Live & let live is a nice goal, imo. Don't think in practice it is too popular. I'm pro gay marriage (they should suffer just like heteros ;) ), but I think one thing pro and anti gay marriage folks can pretty much agree upon is NO to legal polygamy. I think that is far the best family structure for heterosexual females and males.
The one thing we agree on is STRIPCLUBS! :) And, we may have similar tastes in women. I think you like small women, as well.
discussion comment
17 years ago
Even cooler:
http://www.dailymotion.com/relevance/search/bar+trick/video/x3adtl_business-card-trick-very-cool_fun
I'm a sucker for these tricks. :)
discussion comment
17 years ago
This one is cool:
http://www.dailymotion.com/relevance/search/bar+trick/video/x3b2xs_bar-bet-for-free-drinks-bar-bet_street
discussion comment
17 years ago
Cute and dumb:
http://www.dailymotion.com/relevance/search/bar+trick/video/x3ay10_pub-trick_parties
discussion comment
17 years ago
I despise DJs also. This is a job better suited for a machine.
discussion comment
17 years ago
This is clever:
http://www.dailymotion.com/country:dk/video/x3ajso_very-cool-bar-trick_parties
discussion comment
17 years ago
Here's a dumb one sometimes those are MUCH better:
http://my.break.com/content/view.aspx?ContentID=382661
discussion comment
17 years ago
Hi DougS,
I agree with you about capitalizing a whole word for emphasis. To me it has nothing to do with "yelling." I just want to make sure the person sees that point especially when I tend to type and type or my point might be a littel to subtle or strange.
I use quotes for different reasons, which may be misunderstood. Sometimes a label is dishonestly applied to an idea or a program. For example, the "Patriot" Act. Or, "affirmative" action. Yes, some people believe the the Patriot Act is patriotic and would believe that about any laws so labelled. Yes, some people believe affirmative action is a affirmative no matter the results. Or "improvements" are improvements even if that isn't the case for most people. The sidewalk in front of my home is supposedly an "improvenment." Well, I'd like to remove the damn thing it isn't an "improvement" in my opinion even though so labelled by the "friendly" government.
discussion comment
17 years ago
Oh one point about the trust issue that women seem to focus on. In my culture it is disrespect to be honest with the woman about wanting to screw everything in site. She should know that anyway! Men are supposed to be dogs. ;)
In my case, I was honest with my woman only because she was brainwashed by the "equality" garbage to the point she felt she could even duke it out with me with proper training and weight lifting. DUMB!!! And, yet she is a super smart lady and she gets sucked into that idiocy. Furthermore, she like many women equates the sex act with LOVE and I do also to a greater extent than most of the males that I know. Still, my interest in fun outside the relationship was driven by the search sexual release only and I didn't want real emotions/intimacy which is why I sought help from pros--strippers or hookers. She couldn't comprehend anyone wanting or needing to pay for it! Many people, male and female, come up with the nonsense about self gratification--she came up with nonsense also. Gee, I could save myself a mint of money if that was real relief like a woman can provide . . . and I love saving money!
discussion comment
17 years ago
That is very interesting. I thought that was just me. But, it has gone in both directions. Yes, income was definitely part of the deal.
With some cash I like to make dancers happy even if I'm not to attracted to them. My cash goes down and I want to find the special one who can send me to heaven.
At one time I thought age was making me more demanding as far as looks. It turned out money was a greater influence in my case. I just didn't want to spend on the nice dancer who didn't meet my looks requirement. Now as far as my ability to perform unless the dancer is hot there is just nothing at all. This is age related. When I was younger an ugly woman could get me to respond it just wasn't as enjoyable. Now, the woman has to be hot it isn't a choice it is unfortunately a requirement.
It seems that I'm looking more towards black women as I age. There could be any number of reasons for this.
discussion comment
17 years ago
Hi DougS,
Yeah, that is the way I saw it. Didn't mean I was correct in that view. It is an example of where there is a break down of communication for any possible number of reasons. With me it is sometimes due to my writing style. The person wants to read sound bites and I'm writing mini novels. :)
In other cases it is just value judgments. One person will believe in "equality" and another person will find it offensive. The communication can break down rapidly because of very different belief systems.
discussion comment
17 years ago
I was thinking about a dangerous predator approaching. My job is to protect the female so I immediately place myself in front of her to protect her and prepare for battle. What does she do? She pushes me aside and states that she is aka Ms. Rambo 100% U.S. certified military issue credited with defeating N. Vietnam, Russia, Iraq, Brazil, Cuba, and other assorted enemies to U.S. interests. She even flashes me a tattoo of President Bush on her breast!
Suddenly, my interest in her is about zero if that high and it is not even about jealousy of the President being tattooed on her breast. I guess some people would consider her being a world power as a positive. Leaves me cold just as a large woman leaves me cold. By the same token, if I see a predator approaching and I jump behind the female for protection she may lose all interest in me if she had any to begin with. Look you cowardly weakling get out there and defend me. I'm the woman and your supposed to be the man. Get out there and start defending me and if you get killed or crippled that's not a biggie I'm sure there is another big strong man who can get the jobe done. A real man!
Is it wrong for the woman to desire a "real" man? Is it wrong for the man to desire a "real" woman? Some people would say yes, of course it is wrong just as it is wrong for a man to only be attracted to small shapely women. That's primitive and barbaric!
So the upwardly mobile dancer was throwing me some serious negatives with what should be positives. I could see her telling me what you pay for dinner? Don't be silly I'll buy the whole restaurant chain! Gee, it is impressive she can buy the whole restaurant chain, however, I really did want to buy her dinner. So, yes, in my book a wealthier woman would be less attractive to me generally because I feel I have less to offer her. Much nicer to be with a woman who when I pull up to McDonald's says isn't this a little extravagent and means it! :) And, I can say YES, but nothing is too good for you and in 6 months we might even be able to do it again with some financial cost cutting here and there.
discussion comment
17 years ago
Hi lopaw,
I never "cheated" under that definition. I was right out in the open because I don't consider it wrong in the least for a man to get as much as he can especially when his woman is saying NO!
Yes, I see the male role as being a provider with any luck at all. Of course, there are exceptions.
Well, the differences like my getting rejected while she is receiving the red carpet treatment and rejecting it no less!? are extremely relevant to me. If women were pursuing me left and right while she was being kicked to curb repeatedly, then I'd have a very different view of her "cheating." But, we aren't even talking about the same thing in my case at least because I spoke right from the beginning she was free to reject me and I was free to find my fun elsewhere. Also, she was very aware that I viewed women as being very different than men.
Now, with my buddy that cheats and makes his poor wife all hurt it is more complicated. He isn't honest with her, but at the same time she knows that is part of their culture. For him to be honest in that respect would be to disrespect her. She knows that, but doesn't like that part of their culture. Her interest in sex compared to him? I asked her and the answer was that it didn't mean that much to her. She liked it, but it was very low priority. She mainly didn't want him having sex with anyone else because she views the act as an act of LOVE. That is the furthest thing from his mind and she can't comprehend that. And, for him sex was a top priority and she knew that from when they first started dating. So you think I should consider their "cheating" assuming both to have "cheated" to be equal? Not even slightly in my book. She needs close emotional ties and attaches feelings of love to the sex act. He will screw a coke bottle or perhaps even the family dog if she's in heat. Like I said before it is apples and oranges and not even that close. They are NOT EQUAL. He might be better or she might be better that's a whole different set of issues depending on what you value.
Seeing the male as a provider in my opinion, again, in no way makes women "lesser." Just as a male being a protector against a predator doesn't make a women "lesser." You value "equality" and I see it as revolting for the most part. People are different. Yes, some women can be warriors or whatever. That is an exception and if it works then fine. To say that I'm equal with my woman is depressing if not revolting. To say that I'm superior to my woman is depressing if not revolting. Hopefully, she is a soft traditional female because that is what I'm attracted to. Has nothing at all to do with "lesser" or any feminist nonsense like that. Furthermore, my woman may very well expect or demand that I act like a hard traditional male. Unfortunately, I'm not as much of a dominate male as many soft women would prefer. Some women, otoh, consider me to be extremely dominate. One reason I don't consider myself to be a real dominate male is because I develop feelings of intimacy merely from having sexual intercourse and normally that is what females experience or at least that is what I've read and heard. Something to do with the different brain chemicals secreted by the genders during intercourse. So on the extremely rare occasion that I get offered sex on a first meeting without cash being part of the deal, I feel very depressed about needing to say NO. That really isn't normal, imo, for a guy. It is totally deflating and depressing and some women will shove it in your face real fast. At least I don't get those offers too often. Even thinking about saying NO to an attractive women is depressing. It isn't manly. Men and women are NOT EQUAL imo! :)
discussion comment
17 years ago
Sucker punched by a feminist. I was making fun of a female friend who claimed the ability to be able to beat up her boyfriend routinely. Her boyfriend was small. Very small. And frail looking. The whole notion of her beating him up was a complete joke to me. Even if she could why in the world would she? It seemed dumb and highly unlikely and she was just a poor brainwashed feminist. I was laughing telling her that her boyfriend must be the weakest man in the world. She was getting angrier and angrier. She was a little larger than me, but it is just no contest. She didn't understand that at all. She was on some stupid equality kick. Oh, she later became a stripper so maybe she kicked some customer ass later on down the road. :)
So I just took her as joke and she was more than a little nutty anyway, but fun even without getting in her pants, btw. By complete surprise she hit me in the jaw full force. She accomplished getting a very hurt hand. Very hurt. It was so stupid. And, she was stunned. She couldn't believe her surpise punch delivered to my jaw did nothing. I had to point out to her that she was a girl and only slightly larger than me. And, strength wise I think I could have easily killed her with a single blow to her jaw. It was never a contest. Later, I learned her thinking wasn't as completely nutty as I thought because somehow she did in fact beat up her little boyfriend. It just amazes me that he was that weak. He was getting in her pants routinely so he was definitely better than me in that department and she was good looking. :)
discussion comment
17 years ago
Hi lopaw,
I don't think "lesser" than men is the issue, although you may see it like that.
I'm not a big guy at all. There are precious few women that can stand up to me unless they have a weapon such as a gun in hand and are willing to use it. Does that make them "lesser?" Not in my book. Am I "lesser" because some large brute can take me apart with fairly little effort? Again, not in my book.
I see a huge difference between men and women. That doesn't mean there aren't exceptions. Heck, you've got men that love large women or men that prefer the women not look attractive or whatever. It seems like most women prefer tall men and yet some women think I'm hot--it is a minority view definitely, but its true for them. So different doesn't equal "lesser."
When my girlfriend brought up the "cheating" issue, I told her, for example, when she is willing to pay male prostitutes money for sexual favors, then I would consider us to be in the same boat. As it stood she viewed sex very differently than me. Her experience of being wanted in the extreme was very different than my experience of being rejected again and again and again. So to compare her "cheating" with my "cheating" is completely insane. It isn't a question of "lesser" it is a difference of social as well as genetic roles. Not only that in the relationship itself she had all the power as far as sex because sex was whenever she wanted it---very normal among my relatives and hers. Again different roles. So, I say to her when I start rejecting you then go ahead and start claiming the "equality" to "cheat." It is really like mixing apples and oranges because her needs were so much different--like long drawn out sex performed not very often. Where I would prefer shorter sessions and many more.
I guess I could go on and on about my perception of normal gender differences, but I just disagree with almost any notions of "equality." I find it revolting for the most part. It is like a person telling me because he can eat peanuts without ill effect that therefore I can eat peanuts safely also. I don't know if you understand my point. Essentially, when my girlfriend claimed she would be able to duke it out with me, I thought she was the victim of "equality" insanity. She never stood even the remotest chance against me despite training and weight lifting and other silliness. She didn't stand the remotest chance against any half way healthy male. It was sheer lunacy. And, even worse lunacy to suggest she is somehow "lesser" because she isn't designed for hand to hand combat. If anything I put the soldier boys in the "lesser" category and even that ain't fair or right.
discussion comment
17 years ago
"The second would be closer to the type you seem to admire, thanks for the compliment! LOL"
That is almost true, btw. :) And, that imo is another example of being out of the mainstream. The upwardly mobile is extremely bright and wishes to become better educated. I see positives and negatives being dealt therein.
The other dancer doesn't care about education. As far as intelligence, I'm not sure where exactly she falls except that it doesn't seem like she's in the same ball park with the upwardly mobile dancer. She is into pleasure and rebellion. Her chance of financial wealth seems dismal. Her drive to accomplish seems low.
So I don't know if it is admiration or desire. But, yes I like the "loser" type female so in that regard I'm like dancers who like "loser" boyfriends. I admired the upwardly mobile dancers mental sharpness---now being attracted to it is a different matter--I don't know. I disliked the fact that I believe she would sell out her beliefs to be part of the mainstream or to succeed, but that can be viewed in many different ways. She likes the white picket fence and I would prefer less structure like the grove before it became a place for the wealthy.
I hope my writing is not to messed up!!! I can get carried away or just not be thinking clearly. Especially, when I'm thinking about emotional issues and going back and forth, pro and con.
discussion comment
17 years ago
I didn't mean any negative toward you, but I did notice your post to zuluZ and then also I had the negative exchange with Bones. Bones was yapping about hypotheticals and I'm thinking where the hell did he get that? I probably also misread people's posts.
I apologize to you if it came out wrong. I was just wonder if my writing is that far off or it is more a case my message is unusual.
There was another instance where you responded to me and I didn't really see where you were coming from. It was about the dancer who recently decided to back away from doing business with me. So, I was left wondering is my writing off? Perhaps there is a typo here or there that confuses things? Perhaps his reading skills need a little work or he is reading too haphazzardly?
More likely, I thought you were making an assumption that I would be interested in more than pay for play because I care for the dancer. Doesn't matter how much I care for her the ideal for me is pay for play.
discussion comment
17 years ago
It seems like there is open hostility whether here or elsewhere when I speak of caring for dancers---that I'm way out of the mainstream. Or, I'm just too sensitive. :)
I hear dancers just want your money and I think even if that is true why would that stop me from caring about them? I'm getting conned? That is always possible.
So a dancer hates my guts. Gives me fantastic dances and otherwise meets my needs. I care about her because she has shown or given me traits that I like. Later, I learn the truth and she is a complete fake. My feelings at that point are that I'm very impressed with her acting ability and is she willing to continue being an excellent dancer for me. Conned or not it seems like a very good deal for me.
More upsetting than that example is where a dancer isn't acting in her best interest because she actually does like you, but you're unaware she is losing money being with you. You thought both parties were benefiting.
Then you have the idiots (close friends of mine included) who claim dancers only care about money. When asked to explain why a money grubbing dancer is supporting a good for nothing deadbeat boyfriend if money is her god, there is silence or they'll say she's just stupid. It never occurs to them money may not be her primary focus as if it would even be wrong for her to focus on making money.
So, I feel I'm out of the mainstream: 1. Thinking dancers focus isn't solely on money. 2. Caring about dancers even if it is a one way street.
discussion comment
17 years ago
I don't know, because either my writing is off or some people have a severe limitation when it comes to reading skills.
discussion comment
17 years ago
I don't value upward mobility much, except that I like to see people reach their goals. It is fantastic to share another person's sense of victory after suffering thru a tough battle or working hard.
I'm pretty much out of the mainstream. I did believe strongly in limited government and low taxes and sound money. In personal honor and hard honest work and the right to self-defense. I even identified with Christian beliefs, but it turned out that those beliefs also were very much outside the mainstream Christian religions at least here in the U.S. So as things turned out I ended up liking and respecting the black gangster culture even though I'm an outsider there as well. White criminals would have been acceptable for the most part also, but the hardcore white culture for the most part left my area. Those people remaining who most closely fit my ideals happened to be the black ghetto or gangster cultures.
Because of my family's (one side only) severe problems with alcoholism, my views toward the drug war was also outside of the mainstream.
discussion comment
17 years ago
Hi zuluZ,
My 2 cents is you're probably making a mountain out of a mole hill. A buddy of mine hired hookers and looked for other sexual relief outside of marriage continually. (Married for over 20 years, btw.) The wife was madder than a little red hen whenever she find out and extremely hurt to the point of non-stop crying.
The thing is she is totally in the dark about how much he values her. The other women are for sex--He thinks his wife is hot and sweet (definitely correct on both counts), but he feels a strong need to be on the prowl for women who are available whether for a price or for some other reason. Does he lie about it to his wife? Absolutely, because he considers her a good woman and she is above that kind of thing and besides she just wouldn't understand his need to hunt and have sex with almost everything in site. It works great until she figures something out and then she goes from wonderful person to complete nut case.
Is there a double standard? You betcha! He considers her too fine and of excellent character to even consider sleeping with other men because she is just too damn good in every possible way for that. He as a man is supposed to be a beast!!! :)
Your situation could be completely different. But, I see it so often where the man is just a dog or wants to be a dog for his self-esteen (too much man for the old wife) and yet he is still in love with his wife and thinks the world of her. If I was a woman, then I think my main concern would be STDs. No small matter, imo.
discussion comment
17 years ago
A lady friend of mine commented that she was very impressed that I didn't care about her wealth even a little bit. That struck me. I said you're just a friend. She says I know that. I said also you're a woman, which means you're wealth has no value to me. She says yes that is very odd that you think like that. It seemed odd to me that she would think my thinking on the subject was odd. She isn't a women libber and thus, I thought my view would be her view as well i.e. the man is provider.
She isn't young and she understands traditional roles and yet she thinks my view is odd. I guess even a traditional woman or man as far as gender can have a few non-traditional views. I told her a cheating man isn't a big deal, but a cheating woman is a huge deal---she understood that at least. :)
discussion comment
17 years ago
Some or a lot? of women seem attracted by height, but I don't think generally that they consider that to be looks. It may be a question of security. My ex-girlfried preferred small guys; she was tiny.
Usually, the dancers I don't care for are easier to find either due to looks or personality.
Perhaps with all the rain she said to hell with Florida and went off to star in some million dollar rap videos. :) I read the condensed, condensed version of "The Secret." I detested it! Not saying it doesn't work, but so many times I see people denying reality because the reality sucks. This one positive thinking person with perpetual smile told me and surprised me by telling me they did see what I was talking about but it didn't do any good to acknowledge it and it was much better to think happy thoughts. I thought well at least you're saving money on drugs and lowering your risks of arrest.
Also, I shouldn't be so anti-spirituality in that I have first hand experiences. But, I am. Normally it is putting on rose colored glasses as well as being a fraudulent and stupid, imo.
If I see her in a year or so, then I can tell her she's old now too. :) She was going to show me some of her rap moves and I said NO PLEASE NO RAP MOVES TODAY, I'm old and need to take these things a little slower. I definitely want to see all your rap moves, but it is too much too soon! And, yes I actually was looking forward to seeing her rap moves, but I prefer baby steps to WHAM BAM THANK YOU MAM in most areas of life.