What makes some dancers go after certain guys while other guys get ignored?

27 comments

• lopaw

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  15 years ago

  If you're a real masochist you can wander over to SW (pink side) and peek at the threads by dancers offering info on who they approach, who they don't, and why. Usually the threads start off OK, but eventually evolve into name calling between the dancers & PL's, and the threads are then closed. Such is life @ SW.
• mr_33

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  15 years ago

  What is SW (pink side)?
• lopaw

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  15 years ago

  SW = [view link]. It's a large website for strippers to basically yap with each other about how pathetic us customers are. They also compare notes on other stripper-related topics. The website has two areas - the pink side is primarily for dancers, but there are a few spots where us custies can join in the discussion (here is where being a masochist helps). There is also a blue side ([view link]) primarily for customers, altho dancers often post there as well. Enter SW at your own risk. The atmosphere is usually heavily charged with stripper attitude, but if you just read and not post on the pink side, you can pick up alot of info about how the ladies think and why they do the voodoo they do.
• wallanon

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  15 years ago

  A better answer has already been given, but I think a lot of it has to do with the vibe the guy is giving off.
• zippy62

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  15 years ago

  I am just guessing but if it is a rationale decision it is likely based on past experience on what 'look' is likely to provide them the most $ for the least aggravation. I have read reviews that suggest a club's dancers do not approach customers often but I go and am almost always swarmed with dancers. I have never been to a club that I was not approached within 15 minutes or so. No, I am not a Brad Pitt double but when I go I am 1. clean and well groomed, 2. not obviously intoxicated, 3. not loud or aggressive with my interactions with anybody (a good idea anywhere that employs multiple bouncers). Basically, if you appear to be a nice guy who has some money to spend (and is willing to) you will likely see some action. Oh, another tip is to drink mixed drinks or import beers if the budget allows - adds to the impression of $s more than that Bud or High Life does. Seems that dancers are always asking what I am drinking, when I tell them Grey Goose on the rocks their eyes light up a bit. Now I'm off to SW to see if I'm right... Thanks for the link lopaw.
• DickJohnson

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  15 years ago

  Personally, I would welcome it if most of the dancers ignored me. Most of them I just don't care to talk to.
• DandyDan

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  15 years ago

  I've been to many clubs by myself and in the vast majority of them, sitting alone will get you company fairly quickly. Based on my few trips with other people, even if it's only one other person, it's my observation that you have to tip in order to get dancers to come after you. It does help that you look decent. I also second Zippy's notion of drinking import beers, or at least something outside the Bud/Coors/Miller axis. I've gone to BYOB places with Leinie's (which is actually owned by Miller, but its still its own brand) and on more than one occasion, the girl has come up to me and asked for one. On the other hand, I've gone to places where they have come up to me when I was drinking Natural Ice, which probably blows that argument.
• Book Guy

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  15 years ago

  It often surprises me, what it is that typical dancers (or other typical under-educated Americans) think of as "classy." I guess I could get approached more (if I wanted to be) by learning that my ACTUAL high-cost and high-quality preferences, are in fact viewed as low-class and low-cost. Instead, I should start inviting into my life the more "showy" trash-cash things, like Grey Goose. It's a high-priced Vodka that has a low quality level and regularly performs poorly in international taste tests and competitions. I should stop drinking Glenmorangie or Islay, and start taking on Chivas Regal: it's a very poorly created multiple-malt Scotch which elicits derision from Scotch afficionados but which, evidently, makes people who don't know shit about Scotch think that the dude drinking it must know his Scotch. It's all about the purple bag ... Really, I don't mind people drinking Grey Goose or Chivas. I often drink very very cheap and poorly made beer. I'm just surprised at people who fall for the trash-cash advertising ploys. Reflective shiny cell phones that break in a week; shoes with silver-colored straps and blinking-light buckles that neither fit nor last; suits with multiple colors and patterns clashing. True class, and true expense, generally is portrayed in an understated way ... the plain bespoke grey flannel suit from Dunhill, for example, which fits like Cary Grant's in "Mr. Blanding's Castle." G.L.Pease tobacco, which has no sugary Christmas-cake over-topping but tastes better anyway. Some black Italian leather loafers. Shiny stuff impresses dancers. Get the drink that comes from the fanciest bottle. Then hold your nose, try not to make a face, and actually taste it.
• zippy62

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  15 years ago

  I can't believe you don't like Grey Goose! Just kidding. I'm not really a vodka man actually, I drink Grey Goose at one particular club because they have no decent scotch and it goes down relatively painlessly without mixing it with a lot of sugar (one vice at a time please). I do recall it being at least rated highly but I don't recall for sure and don't care enough to look it up. The point is to emanate an aura that says to a dancer, "I'm not wasting your time." I don't get the grey goose for that reason as the dancer has to ask before she would ever know what it was but it is surprising the reactions I have gotten when I tell them - you would think they believe only Trump drinks the stuff. I generally have more interest in deflecting the dancers rather than attracting them (don't get me wrong - I'm there for the dancers not the ambiance but sometimes the hustle gets a little overwhelming). I do agree with your take on Scotch though I don't think I've ever had one at a SC. Mostly because I'd rather drink bad vodka than bad scotch. Also, since many people think they water down the booze I don't trust them to not switch the booze either (pour a little J&B into the Glenfiddich bottle). BTW, I think its Crown that comes in the purple bag - not Chivas :-). So, basically, I agree with you but the question was related to why dancers approach some and not others. If I were asked how to impress the snobbish at the CC my answer would be different than when asked how to impress the dancer at the SC.
• bumrubber

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  15 years ago

  Some women say they can tell everything about a man by his shoes!
• Book Guy

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  15 years ago

  Oh crap, Crown, Chivas ... I got my shit-scotch names wrong again. :P Well, you get my point. I'll buy you a Grey Goose any time, Zippy. :)
• icedawg

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  15 years ago

  depends on how busy it is. if a club is slow, a dancer may come over just to sit. or talk. or have you buy her a drink. but if its busy, and you are there by yourself (i usually am), esepcially on a nite when most people might be out with a SO, they think" this guy might be here to see girls! I am a girl!" math is simple at that point. but if you look creepy, unhygienic, or very very thug. you might get avoided
• casualguy

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  15 years ago

  I haven't noticed any difference with the beer I drink. There have been a few times when I wanted less attention in a strip club. It is times like that when I've noticed some guys sitting in a group of two or more and no dancers seem to come over to them and wondered what they are doing that I'm not. I have noticed when dancers sit in my lap, I don't seem to mind a lot of dancers stopping by. I may check out stripperweb again when I get time. From what I remember, it's like reading all the stripper attitudes about the way strip clubs are supposed to be in the perfect stripper world or stories given that are biased completely on the way some strippers believe things should be instead of reality. That is a site where the customer doesn't know jack and strippers rule their own little world and customers are only allowed to speak due to some stripper generosity. Just my opinion of the site even though I only visited once or twice when this site was down years ago. Doesn't sound any different from what I read above.
• Book Guy

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  15 years ago

  Possibly looking too good, or looking like someone who might actually want a "real" friend, as well. Men who are so unfamiliar with their own emotions, that they can end coming into strip-club world from "normal" life (office job, house in suburbs, wife?, kids?, car, medical insurance) and making the mistake of thinking that "real friendship" and "dating" are possibilities with the younger hotties. (BTW, other men can enter the strip-club world and actually have real friendship and dating possibilities, certainly! But usually they're not suburban typical-Joes, they're "natural" toughs and non-conformists in the first place.) Dancers who are any good at their jobs, can smell out men who want to "talk" and have a "meaningful connection" and who therefore are likely to (a) have unreasonable expectations about blurring the line between fantasy and reality, and are also likely to (b) be unwilling to pay strictly for fantasy, because they'll want the "real" friendship to mean they don't have to pay money any more. Good dancers know how to avoid men who will blur the line between fantasy and reality, and they seek out those men who will be willing to stay within the fantasy (and be able to continue to pay for it). It's a tough trick for the dancers to pull off. The best of them can keep regulars happy and coming back for years, and spending, without actually ruining the regular's happiness by dashing his expectations. For some men, the dancer has to keep lying (through words or actions or implication) and telling him that he really does have a chance with her to be her "real" lover. For other men, the dancer has to just admit with him that they'll only see one another in the strip club and enjoy their time there. And for other men, this question is new, and the dancers have to help them navigate it. And for many new dancers, the question is complicated further by their need to believe, that the men "respect" them and desire them "for themselves" rather than as merely well-put-together body parts that perform necessary physical services. Which some men do think; and other men don't. This diatribe brought to you by Ritalin 101 ... Too many pills! Aaaaaa ...
• Clubber

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  15 years ago

  I can state that before I retired and our "group" went to clubs, all of us were beer drinkers except for one. He seemed to always get the most attention from dancers. However, to me, that is NOT a plus!
• shadowcat

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  15 years ago

  I asked my former ATF about this 8 years ago. She was the most popular dancer in the club. She said that it was hit or miss. I used to think that being by myself was the way to go. Lonely guy looking for attention. I now think that groups are better. PARTY TIME. It works for me.
• samsung1

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  15 years ago

  I like the idea of using SW to get inside of a dancer's head, but the reviews of the clubs from the dancers and the customers are very old and outdated for the clubs I frequent here in Columbus, OH. Also keep in mind that the strippers using SW are "above average" in the sense that some other strippers are poor without computers or internet. One stripper I met last week probably had about 10 dances in the hour I was there with several guys. She was a solid 8, so I was surprised to hear her tell me that she does not use the internet often because she is still on dial-up.
• jester214

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  15 years ago

  Eye contact. I don't care what anyone says eye contact, or a lack there of, will bring/keep away a lot of dancers.
• now_starring

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  15 years ago

  I have been told that if a guy walks in wearing a business suit, or at least some what dressy they will assume he has money. It also helps to sit in a highly visible area of the club. I have 2 uncles that make a lot of money and they are always dressed for business, so there might be some truth to it.
• gk

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  15 years ago

  The basics, from conversations with dancer friends--- 1. You look or don't look like you want to spend money. 2. You are or aren't next in terms of who she has already hit on. 3. Re groups: some dancers like to work groups of guys at tables, thinking they can "run the table" and make a lot of money without moving around a lot. Some don't because they are more introverted. 4. If it's a "locals/regulars" type of club, the dancer simply might not know you and prefer to wait for someone she does know. 5. And some dancers simply dont't make an effort unless you make it first. 6. Customer fails the 'Dress for success test' for a particular clubv environment. To repeat again, no personal opinion--all above from dancer conversations.
• DandyDan

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  15 years ago

  gk- I've never really thought about it, but what you say about groups has to be right. One of my favorites often seems happiest when she got a whole group of guys to buy a dance off of her. However, I disagree about how some don't because they are introverted. I've known some who only go after the guys who are by themselves and it has nothing to do with introversion/extroversion. I think they assume that if a guy is by himself, he (a) wants to spend money, or (b) wants company, both of which are good for the dancer. That's why I've never understood why I can go to some clubs and get ignored completely, because it would seem like someone should try to make money from the guy by himself.
• steve229

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  15 years ago

  In better times, sitting alone was an invitation to have a dancer join you. In many clubs now guys are just not buying dances or even tipping, and girls get discouraged about approaching customers. So you may have to be more proactive, but it can also work in your favor if you have the cash. Last club I was in had a moderate sized crowd, but I didn't see anyone getting dances or tipping much. Girls were kinda listless, just hanging around the bar. I tipped the dancer on stage $2 and five seconds after her set was over she was in the chair next to me chatting me up. Once I got a couple table dances from her some of the other dancers drifted over to hang out with us. Bought a round of shots and got a little party going at my table with 3-4 hot dancers. I was just killing time before catching a flight, so had to leave after an hour or so. On my way out a couple more dancers stopped me to introduce themselves, get my name and ask when I would be back.
• Clubber

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  15 years ago

  I've found that if I wear my biker garb, that I often get more attention then regular street clothes. Sort of the anti-suit customer, I guess.
• how

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  15 years ago

  What makes some dancers go after certain guys...? Primarily, their perception that the guy will likely give them money... But good hygiene is a must.
• shadowcat

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  15 years ago

  Its all about favorite customers. Many dancers will just sit and wait for them to come in. The new guy gets ignored. I have been on both sides of this. This is where being a regular, well known, pays off. I have had as many as 6 dancers gathered around me. They talked girl shit and treated me like one of them. I have been to the 2 highest rated Atlanta clubs and never got the time of day. Find a club that you like. Keep coming back. It pays off.
• Book Guy

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  15 years ago

  It still surprises me, that a girl can (A) not pro-actively seek to sell dances, while (B) pro-actively complaining that not enough guys are buying dances.
• how

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  15 years ago

  BookGuy, that particular paradox is simply the product of a spirit of discontent. You could not make such a woman happy, no matter what you did for her...