My Dancer Pass Me Over to See her richer Regular

avatar for whghIost
whghIost
Georgia
I have been seeing a dancer for a while. She always spend time with me before we go to the VIP. Recently, she told me that a new regular came in and she need to leave me and go to him. she told me that she can make a grand from him. She said that he just want a few dances and talk. She prefer easy money over real work. For me, she would had to go in the VIP. I kinda understand, but I was there first. Plus, I see her once a week. Plus, it took me 3 hours to get to the club. This other guy is a rich guy. I hate the fact that he would set a bad example. Why anybody would give a dancer 1000 dollars just for a few dances and heavy conversations. You can get a call girl for that and she would spend a few hours with you or even spend the nite. I am upset that she cast me aside. I had to put my foot down, but she did give me 15 minutes in the VIP. She only charged me 100 dollar. I did get what I wanted in the form of a quickie. However, I was not happy. I wanted my usual time with her. It is more than just the physical. I want the conversation and time of fulfillment. She said that she would make it up next time. I would prefer a date. She said that she'll call me, but I don't think she will. She said it before and never called. I did not mean to develop a crush on her, but it just happen. All I wanted was to have fun. HOwever, it grew.

47 comments

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avatar for imnumnutz
imnumnutz
16 years ago
face it dude, you effed up! you thought you had some type of "relationship" with a dancer, and you obviously didn't! Eff her and move on...
avatar for wallanon
wallanon
16 years ago
So did the dancer go, do her thing, and come back? Or did you get the quickie version of your usual before she went? Either way it sounds like you caught a break, and is it really fair to expect a dancer to pass on that kind of coin? That's her job.

It sounds like there are lot of other things in play here than just one bad night with a favorite dancer, though.
avatar for how
how
16 years ago
Cannot be surprised that a dancer is motivated more by money than by affection...
Tough break, dude, but that's the harsh reality.

As for why the rich guy would pay more than necessary: I cannot relate to that, so I could only speculate it gives him some feeling of power.
avatar for jablake
jablake
16 years ago

It may also be more about him seeing himself in a very generous light; I can afford to pay a lot more than the average wage slave so why shouldn't I spread the wealth to those I like or who do a good job?

A friend of mine treats $100s as if they were $1s. He has more money than he can spend unless he wanted stupid stuff like art or 10 homes or diamonds or etc. Thus, if someone is doing right by him, he wants to try and bring a smile to their face. Maybe make the person feel important i.e. your so good that instead of paying X, I'm going to pay 10X.

The local drug dealers that sometimes visit Angels love to spread the wealth (handing out $20s like they're $1s). Their business is high risk so at least enjoy some happiness while they can. I will send dancers to go get that free money if they happen to be spending time with me . . . stop by and smile with the friendly drug dealer and walk away with $100 or $140? Damn girl, drop me and my $5 without delay!
avatar for CarolinaWanderer
CarolinaWanderer
16 years ago
whghIost, face it, she's just not that into you.
avatar for ozymandias
ozymandias
16 years ago
You should use that total 6 hour drive time to figure out how to make more money.

Then you'll be rich too.

O.
avatar for GRENDELZ
GRENDELZ
16 years ago
@WHGLOST next time your in there just ignore her and spend money on another dancer. She will come to appreciate you more if you cut her off for awhile. One more thing I want to say is that don't too get attached to these girls you dont want to be known as an ATM. Just my opinion.
avatar for minnow
minnow
16 years ago
wg- I'm not surprised that this would happen. I do find it odd that dancer would explicitly tell you how much she made off the other guy & how easy it was to make it from them. Most dancers would simply say- "I'm busy with him, sorry." Or, "I already promised some time with him." If a dancer were so gauche as to actually say that, that's a moodkiller for me for future VIP's. Face it, she's there to make money. If you're a car salesman, are you going to go for the customer looking for a Corvette, or a Cobalt? 3 HOURS to get into club!?!?!? (Or was that an available VIP room). WTF, go to another club, or use that time figuring out how to boost your income.
avatar for jablake
jablake
16 years ago
Hi whghlost,

Sad to hear you have to drive so many hours. I don't sweat that at all, but I'm a 10 minute drive from the club; big deal. Also, I appreciate it if the dancer explains that look this sucker is good for a $1,000. If I like the dancer, then I don't want to get in the way of her making real money. OTOH, if the customer is poor like me, then it should be first come first serve.

There was this wealthy old gentleman over at Angels and he was fairly aggressive. I had the hottest dancer and kept buying dances one after the other. He actually comes over----after a waiting a long time----and pulls out a roll of $100s. He apologizes for the interruption. Remember I'm paying for this dance. He says look, I want this dancer and money isn't a problem and pulls out a roll of $100s. That dancer is GONE!!! He says whatever you owed her, I'll take care of it. Would you like me to buy you another dancer? I say that is the hottest dancer in the club. He says I know. He offered a couple $100s and I said not necessary. That dancer was very fast and I don't blame her.

Unfortunately, I never saw her again. For most customers one dancer or another makes no difference. They're pretty happy with whatever. That ain't me. That ain't the man who took my dancer. It grates on the ear when I hear just get another dancer. Damn, I can be in a room filled hot dancers and not find the heartbreaker. She was a heartbreaker. They just ain't easy to find or sometimes rarely they come in pairs or triplets.

If I had the money, then I definitely would have gone bidding war to keep my dancer.
avatar for how
how
16 years ago
Interesting story, jablake. As far as I'm concerned, if it's about the money, then she's not irreplaceable. And if there's a more personal connection, I don't mind that guy giving her the cash; I'll see her later...
avatar for deogol
deogol
16 years ago
Was there a lesson learned about getting personal and believing in a "relationship" in a strip club?
avatar for jablake
jablake
16 years ago
Hi how,

I like the personal, but if it is just a fantasy that she is selling that is fine. The bottom line is a stripper or regular woman could have feelings for me and that is wonderful, if I like her. However, a perfect performance by a working woman is just as good and perhaps more valuable to me. I don't want a real relationship. I want a fantasy that appears to be a real relationship.

A stripper's focus on money means very little to me, if I can afford her time. It is the heartbreaker beauty that is difficult to find for my eyes. Most customers seem like they can swap the dancers like fast food joints; more power to 'em. Unfortunately, the dancers that cause my heart to beat faster than is safe (even when I was young) are fairly rare and normally aren't easy to work with or are extremely expensive.

avatar for jablake
jablake
16 years ago
BTW, your point about if there is a more personal connection you don't mind the guy giving her the cash is excellent. If a person likes a dancer and thinks there is personal connection, then it seems like you would want her to make a lot of money with little work.

I felt bad that some dancers wanted to stay with me when a free spending customer would show. It just doesn't seem right to me that I should prevent her from bringing in the money unless I have the capacity to make it up to her. I mean she is working and she needs to remember that she is there to work. Yes, I was a regular . . . but, a poor regular. Better nab the wealthy customer ASAP!!! And, don't make me feel bad by sticking it out with me and my $5. (Yes, I appreciate the "loyalty" real or fake----Bottom line I want her to go and make the money.)
avatar for ozymandias
ozymandias
16 years ago
This is probably a good time to step back, breathe, regain some perspective, and remember that stripping is a JOB.

I don't know about anyone else, but if client A offers me $100 for the same job client B offers me $1000 for - hello, client B!

Is anyone seriously not capable of understanding this?

O.
avatar for robofan
robofan
16 years ago
Nothing to get upset about. Think of this as a educational experience. Whenever a stripper has multiple regulars the one who is willing to spend more money will always win out over the one who has less money. Nothing personal just the economics of strip clubs.

It works the other way as well. A customer is willing to spend his money on a particular stripper until one he likes more comes along.

The trick is not to get emotionally involved and think that there is more to your relationship than there really is.
avatar for jablake
jablake
16 years ago
"The trick is not to get emotionally involved and think that there is more to your relationship than there really is."

Going for the wealthier client doesn't prove much, imo. Especially when she takes the time to explain how much wealthier. My guess is she assumes that "her friend" (or even ordinary client) would understand that, that is too much money to pass and that if he had the same opportunity in his line of work he'd jump on it. The dancer may even expect that a client that truly likes her would be even more sensitive toward her feelings on this issue and want her to be financially successful. Instead she is more like to get a pouty pest in lieu of a "friend" or customer.

Apologize to her and buy a few more dances. OK, that is being a little insensitive on my part. You know, I know ordinary woman who'd be dropping their real lover (for an hour or a day) if a wealthy man is going to be throwing money at them. It would be honey I love you, but you ain't keeping me from getting that new washer/dryer or new sports car or new diamond ring. This pussy needs to grind out some CASH. Does that mean she doesn't love or care about her real lover? Remember her real lover being a "true man" probably fucks as many hoes as are available and is prouder the more pussy he pounds.
avatar for 3LeggedMan
3LeggedMan
16 years ago
Well, I've sure been there. The plain truth is that all the dancers dream about is a regular customer that will drop a thousand per visit. Now THAT pays the rent. And the car payment, etc. What can YOU do? Pouting and acting hurt accomplishes nothing. You are in a strip club with lots of money left and surrounded with beautiful women. This is the time to go for a test drive with that other lovely that you never approached because it might offend "your" regular dancer. All bets are off now, man. Test the waters! Find Plan B!
avatar for deogol
deogol
16 years ago
Accept that like in real life, in the strip club you have to compete with other men too.
avatar for Clubber
Clubber
16 years ago
ozymandias,

You stated and asked, "I don't know about anyone else, but if client A offers me $100 for the same job client B offers me $1000 for - hello, client B!

Is anyone seriously not capable of understanding this?"

Yes, many are! Economics is very poorly taught, if at all, in this country.
avatar for Anna
Anna
16 years ago
Maybe if you looked at it from her perspective...she is at work. I mean, you like to get paid when you go to work right? Business is business.
avatar for jablake
jablake
16 years ago
"Yes, many are! Economics is very poorly taught, if at all, in this country."

More interesting is how the media keeps repeating that the U.S. government has to borrow its own money (remember it's a fiat currency) from foreign countries or others. HELLO!!! Is anyone awake? LOL

Even if the U.S. government actually needed to go and borrow its own money from foreigners and little old ladies and whomever, that money most likely (unless created) has to come from depriving other needy borrowers of funds needed to keep business humming along. IOWs, major credit crunch. Don't worry . . . the U.S. government is actually doing the right thing by basically creating dollars out of thin air----and NO!!!!! that doesn't necessarily equal inflation (yes, normally there is some inflation---that inflation might actually be more to do with all types of mandates and laws).



avatar for lopaw
lopaw
16 years ago
The minute you walk into a SC and forget that it is a SC, you're gonna get screwed both emotionally & financially.
Hopefully the OP will realize this now before it is too late.
avatar for arbeeguy
arbeeguy
16 years ago
Seems we really touched a nerve here. The emotional side of stripclubbing. In a test between emotional drive and logical drive, the emotion usually wins. Case in point: Chris Brown beating up Rihanna. From a logical or economic viewpoint it makes no sense at all. Emotions Rule (usually.)

As for economics not being taught in this country - well that must have been said as a non sequitor since you don't need to learn any economics to prefer $1000 to $100. I think I six year old has enough education to figure that one out.
avatar for jablake
jablake
16 years ago
Actually arbeeguy . . . not everyone prefers the extra money. Yes, I realize that seems odd.
avatar for jablake
jablake
16 years ago
Hi Clubber,

It is seductive to think that if people just knew economics they would agree with the obvious. I was watching a teacher work very hard to teach introductory economics and he did a very good job, imo. However, when all was said and done some students who finally were able to grasp what he was saying still disagreed! Can you imagine that? At first, I thought these dumb dumbs merely needed more lessons until they truly understood. Understanding wasn't the problem however. Morality was!!! YIKES, that evil word.

See some people may believe that first come first serve should be the rule regardless of relative profits or losses and they may even believe that that should be the law!

avatar for whghIost
whghIost
16 years ago
I don't mind that she went with the bigger offer. What upset me was that I am a loyal regular who have a long relations with her. Plus, it was my 3rd attempt to see her that week. The first two she was not there due to her illness. Plus, I live a long distance to the club. Also, she was not thoughtful in calling me to inform me that she is serious ill and wont be in the club till the following Monday. Plus, I was already sitting with her for an hour before the wealthier came in unexpectedly. I usually see her for an hour, but this time I got 15 minutes of the 30 minutes I bargained. It was a rushed session and she only charged 1 bill. I usually paid her 2.5 bill for an hour. Plus, I had to go to work the next night and work 7 straight nights. So, If I had not done a VIP with her, it would be another week on top of 2 weeks I have seen her last. What I did not kinda understand was that she could have done an hour VIP and let the wealthier guy wait. He just got there. She could have made more from me and still make her money from him. She was concern that he may move on with another girl, but if he is a regular, why would he do that. Anyways, she was 30 minutes away from him and he was talking with another dancer. She joined them. The other girl left after 30 to 45 minutes later. I left after an hour watching them. I don't mind her making more money, but she could have treated me better. She could have treat me worse, which I am glad that she did not do. This wealthier guy was supposed to come the next night, but he showed up early. HOwever, I am the one who is punished. Not fair.
avatar for JC2003
JC2003
16 years ago
The more you put up with her shit, the more shit you'll have to put up with. Move on.
avatar for jablake
jablake
16 years ago
"What I did not kinda understand was that she could have done an hour VIP and let the wealthier guy wait."

Doesn't seem reasonable at all if money is her main goal. The wealthier client often doesn't have to wait. $1,000 for less work sounds better than $250 for more work, imo.

Sorry to hear about all the trouble you're having lately seeing this dancer on positive terms. Best strategy is probably just to stay away from the club for awhile. Then when you come back be nice to her assuming you still want to get dances from her or be on an upbeat.
avatar for whghIost
whghIost
16 years ago
I guess the richer guy spends more for less because he can. It is a power thing. What I don't understand, why did he not go to a better club. The club I went has very few hot girls. If I was that wealthy I would have gone to a club that is classier and better looking girls. The club I went to has a reputation for extras. However, this guy only wanted company and few dances. He could have score better looking girls elsewhere.
avatar for jablake
jablake
16 years ago

If I was a richer guy, then I'd probably be at Angels or some cheap redneck stripclub in the rural South. Who knows perhaps my taste would become refined and suddenly gentlemen's clubs would appeal to me.

Could be as simple as the rich guy wants to be the big fish in small pond. He wants to be special. Anyway, spending $250 per hour you seem like a rich guy to me. :)

avatar for rockie
rockie
16 years ago
I've been bumped by a better regular to one of my favs before. Big deal, next time I visit I don't have to hear how long it's been since my last visit. If I do I'll play up my being bumped to the curb in the prior and probably get better attention in our next set of dances. There are 7 clubs within an hours drive and at least 14 dancers who can suitably entertain me.
avatar for atlforlife
atlforlife
16 years ago
whghlost: I doubt the guy is spending $1K just to have some dancers. My gut feeling is that your friend is not telling you the whole truth about the extras she's providing for that guy. In my experience, most strippers lie about what they do with their customers.

Like other people have said, I think your best bet is to find you a new favorite and let your old favorite compete for your attention and your dollars. Don't limit yourself to one girl at the club. She's a stripper, not a wife.

And please understand that her priority is to make ends meet. Contrary to popular beliefs, girls don't strip because they like to dance; the strip because they like quick money. And she's no exception to the rule, no matter how different you may think she is.
avatar for robofan
robofan
16 years ago
Whghlost. Don't be so naive. You have no idea what is really going on between this guy and the stripper. You only know what she told you which is probably a lie or only a small piece of the actual truth. Based on the way she treated you she obviously values her relationship with him more than the one with you.

Either look for a new favorite or accept the fact that you are going to be a 2nd, 3rd ... whatever alternative to her.
avatar for whghIost
whghIost
16 years ago
I don't have enough clues to know if she is not telling the full story. However, it is odd. The richer guy is older like in his fifties. Plus, I am getting extras from her. I got the extra for 1 bill. It was a great price, but the VIP was only 15 min. I was upset with her shortening our visit rather sharply. You may judge her sharply without the entire facts, if you like. For me, she should have seen both of us. She should have done the 1 hour VIP with me and then go to the richer guy. Who knows, the richer guy may not pay her as much as she thought. Maybe, he'll not come as often as I do or as often she said he would. I'll know more later.
avatar for jablake
jablake
16 years ago
The problem with letting the wealthy wait is that he may take his $1,000 and leave and she may lose him as a potential regular. You are right about the richer guy not being as wonderful as she thought.

If you could be just as happy with another dancer, then that is excellent advice. I'm old and it never worked for me. Most of my buddies, however, are pretty much happy with anything. I don't even think they need for the dancer to be female; the old a hole is a hole mantra or the looks are irrelevant belief system.

avatar for MisterGuy
MisterGuy
16 years ago
I'm sorry to have to say this, but this entire thread is why the phrase PL was invented in the first place...ugh...
avatar for whiffenpoof
whiffenpoof
16 years ago
PL so what! We are all PLs. Otherwise we wouldn't go to a SC in the first place. The bigger the bank role the bigger the loser. If I were you I would have hooked up with the girl that just got jilted when your ATF left you and weasled in on the customer she was probably trying to land.
I have seen many cases where the dancers get more possesive of a customer than customers do of the dancers.
Once had an ATF, spent half the night sitting with her BF for $0. When another dancer came by and sat with me, she (ATF)got so ticked that she left my $10 tip sitting on the rail.
The dancer who sat with me wasn't as pretty or as well proportioned, however, I'm glad she ended up with my tips+. I learned that pretty doesn't always show up on the exterior. By the time the night ended the new girl was much, much prettier.
avatar for rockie
rockie
16 years ago
WGBH: She may provide your extras when she's in need of cash, but not like it. Her need to provide extras ends when the rich guy comes a calling, or she prefer his price point for the same service.
avatar for jablake
jablake
16 years ago
What I've learned about dancer is that although they're individuals, I see certain traits. Loser boyfriend is one stereotype. Another stereotype is low self-esteem.

Rich customer may be poorer than you, but perhaps she wants to play a game to get you thinking what a fantastic deal you're getting. Customers do get bored with dancers and she might be trying to add a little spice. Get your juices flowing.

Sorry to be a little disrespectful, but you smell fairly desperate. Dancers are using fairly adept at reading customers and playing games. Could be she was hoping you'd break and be "a man." Any scenario is possible.
avatar for desotophil
desotophil
16 years ago
Getting emotionally attached to a dancer isn't unusual. Sometimes tho, you just gotta keep a clear head and remember she doesn't come to the club to find love, or even friends. She's payin the bills. Love happens, even in a strip club, but the value system is mostly dollars and good sense. Bein exclusive boosts your ego, but mostly leads to drama.

I've had girls want to leave me and go pick up some supposedly easy cash cause they think I'll be there later. I ALWAYS say cool, go make your money darlin, it's a job. Then I'll find someone who wants to play with me. It's amazing how often the dancer will change her mind if she thinks she's gonna lose a sure thing. But if she doesn't, it really IS cool. It's all for fun for me anyway, right?
avatar for jac10781
jac10781
16 years ago
whghIost from a moral stand point that dancer did a terrible thing to you. That really sucks. However it was good business and the right choice. She went with the money which is why she is there. It's her job. She is making a $1000 which would equal 3 visits from you by working less hours for it.

From what I can tell she made a good choice to leave you because she already made money from you, she doesn't want to lose the bigger wallet in her other customer, and most importantly your going to come back anyway so she isn't losing any business.

If you were putting so much effort into seeing her and getting no love then you should be on other dancer's PL. It's your money. Make her work for the money. You said she doesn't call you and that you guys haven't gone out. Just take it for what it is. If it was real, you wouldn't pay for her time. But you are paying for her time. Let her make her money. She gave you a quickie and a discount on service. Be happy.

No offense intended, but why would she tell you that she was sucking his dick or screwing him for the money? That is bad business and none of yours. Besides it doesn't matter anyway. It isn't going to hurt you unless he has a STD, but she can get that from the other men she is screwing in or out the club.

What we men fail to really see is that we should have the power because we are the customers. The customer always has control of the market. We set the prices and the services provided. When you pay for something or accept a level of service, then you have agreed to it.

When you give up your right to power by being at the whim of the "business", "provider", or "product" then you get what you get and that's the end of it. If don't like it, spend your time and money on a acceptable product or service.
avatar for Tucker40
Tucker40
16 years ago
Buy a rock, propose to her. Otherwise just live with it. I can't think of an ATF I've ever dealt with who I haven't made it clear up front that I won't be hurt or offended if they cut our non-productive time short and went to grab a few (hundred) bucks elsewhere. I've even pointed out when I've seen a guy clearly into her/them. Two things happen then. The down time I spend with my ATFs is guilt free (she's not anxious because she wants to find a way to cut me free and check out a bigger whale and I'm not beholding to dance with her because she's got a car/house/baby payment) and the dance time is more productive because I have her/their undivided attention.
avatar for MisterGuy
MisterGuy
16 years ago
"We are all PLs."

Speak for yourself.
avatar for whghIost
whghIost
16 years ago
Well, all of you make some good points. It was just bad timing for me. However, saga continues. I am not sure what's wrong with her. She has lately been calling out a lot. She drinks a lot of beer, 30 bottles a week. I saw her this past weekend and she left early because her stomach was hurting. The richer dude is having an effect on my fun. She does not want to do any extras. But I was okay with that. I think he is setting her up. I think he wants her to do extra with him outside the club. He did take her out and on a date to the club she works at. I ran into them there. She brought in a third person in the date. She later told me that she is using him and that he is upset that she brought a friend with them. I am not sure how long this rich guy is going to last. I may just leave and come back in a couple month. I hope he gets bored. He supposedly had so much sex in his youth that he is looking for a more meaningful fun. I suppose he want it in a future. It turned out that she is not making a grand, but several hundreds. Anyways, her calling out from work is getting me upset. Her loser boyfriend finally got a job and it is messing her schedule up. Plus, she has 2 kids and finding baby sister is awful. I did sent her flowers because she was sick. I thought it was a nice gesture. I assume she is working today, but I have not heard from her. Maybe she called out the entire week. Not sure how sick she is. I hope her boyfriend did not hurt her. He has threatened her, if she was being unfaithful.
avatar for MisterGuy
MisterGuy
16 years ago
Ugh...
avatar for whghIost
whghIost
16 years ago
You could say that again,"Ugh"!! I think this guy is moving in slowly to persuade her to stay overnight at his place. I think he wants her to sleep with at his place, not at the club. I hope this guy gets bored with her. I did, until she upgraded her service. Now she has downgraded her service because she is making plenty from this guy. However, she got me addicted to her. She got me upset with her, because now she is playing hard to get. I hope this rich guy leave and go to another club. He should vacation and go to palm beach, fl.
avatar for MisterGuy
MisterGuy
16 years ago
You miss my point my friend...I meant "ugh" as in "let it go man...stop being a PL...and let it go already!"
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