No this isn't a post about STD's, lol. I rarely go to the SC's these days, mostly because of a wonderful woman i met, but also economic reasons and i just want to move past it all. But I still find myself gettting the itch to head out to a SC. So what do you guys think? After years of SC's can a guy get rid of the SC itch?
I have tried, but I like them far too much...one of the biggies for me is the variation I get. Stay with one woman and I get bored, but the women in the clubs I can have fun with, and get nude with, is almost endless. Of course, that is just strip clubs. Add Asian Massage Parlors to the mix, and I am hooked!
"After years of SC's can a guy get rid of the SC itch?"
Yea...sure, but (like any other addiction) you have to be serious about kicking the habit. I would humbly suggest that frequenting a website like this that is dedicated to strip clubs & providing info about strip clibs isn't the place for someone that wants "to move past it all" though.
For instance, I doubt that there are many alcoholics that go to coors.com...
I think you can, but the energy to put into going to strip clubs has to be replaced by something else. The one year I mostly avoided strip clubs, I ended up at the local bars a lot. I had a fuck buddy for a time, which was nice, but that didn't last, and a lot of the bars bored me, and I eventually went back. I always say if I met someone special, I wouldn't, but here's two things:
1. what if your someone special is a stripper?
2. what if she likes going to strip clubs herself?
In truth, I have no idea if I could, or if I'd want to get rid of the SC itch.
I could probably cure myself from patronizing the clubs. Getting rid of the itch? I doubt that will ever happen. I live over 180 miles from the nearest SC. So I only get to one maybe 3 or 4 times per year at the most. This website helps to fuel the craving, for sure. There were periods that I tried to put it behind me but everytime I went somewhere I would always keep my eyes open for them as I drove through the streets of new city. I managed to avoid going into the clubs. Now I have got to the point of saying "what the heck, what will be- will be". Does it destroy ones life? I guess that would depend on the individual's circumstance.
I'd go more often if I have time... lack of time is sort of akin to a "cure" in my case.
I'm just really busy (in a good way), and I have so many other hobbies which compete against "mongering". I guess I go to clubs 4-6 times a year now, tops... all I have time for.
whiffenpoof hit it on the head, I believe. One could probably cure themselves from patronizing clubs, But getting rid of rid of the itch? I doubt it as well.
I've started therapy (including drugs) for ADD / depression / other stuff. It made the itch go away in a weird kind of way. Here's how I used to feel -- "Man I gotta get laid! Why don't women like me? Fuck 'em the stupid cunts. I'ma-gonna go fuck me some stripper ho. Maybe flirt with one or two and actually make a friend because NORMAL people wouldn't interact with me. To HELL with normal!"
Now here's how I feel -- "Whack off and back to work."
It is hard. I spend too much and swear I need to stop. Guess I need to find a girl real life to replace my urges. I would also suggest that the guys who have kicked the habit are not using this site.
There have been a couple of references to quitting this site if one is serious about quitting the SC habit. I agree that would seem the most prudent thing to do. Maybe its not my time yet. Thanks for all the great feedback.
For me, the itch is not mutually exclusive with being in love with a woman and having a relationship.
I've been married 15 years, have a great relationship with my wife, we have great sex and a happy marriage.
Yet it doesn't minimize my desire to go to clubs. Part of it must be that I just resumed going after a long unintentional hiatus.
I can afford it now much easier than in the past (I suppose if I was struggling to pay the mortgage, clubs would be last on my mind). A great full two-way contact lap dance feels like a way to experience other women without violating the faith of our union. I don't consider it cheating (if you forgo extras), it is pure titillation.
I have to admit, I love driving home from a strip club and still smelling the dancer on me. Although it's given me a bit of a pause as to whether my wife would smell the perfume as well.
A real affair with another person, with both the emotional and sexual aspects, feels much more damaging to a marriage than getting a lap dance from a girl I only see in the club.
That said, I do feel like I have a bit of an addiction and need to slow down. I'm averaging 2-3 clubs per week and need to slow down in order to reduced the time it's taking up, as well as the cost.
I'd like to scale back to once per month and spend about $200 to $250. I could see myself doing this for a long time, looking forward to my one visit a month with a good amount of dances with the various girls (both ATF and new ones).
I'm currently averaging $120 to $200 per visit and with the last 8+ visits in the last 3 weeks, it's getting too expensive.
Apparently you already did! But if you're looking for an intervention a la AA to keep you from getting off the wagon so-to-speak, better look someplace else. Most of us can't quit!
Seems like mkreef is barking up the right tree. He's well on his way to a balanced appreciation of the finer things in life, if the "itch" doesn't get the better of him.
Seems, to the contrary, like me and flguytampa21 have more "issues." (Sorry to put thoughts in your head, flguytampa21. Maybe I've mis-read your situation or attitude.) I would LIKE to have a wonderful relationship with a hot woman outside of strip-clubbing -- and I've actually met some decent, good-catch women lately, who have less of the girly-girl bullshit that has annoyed me so much in the past. Maybe I've been "eliciting" the bullshit and my new outlook allows me to bring out better behavior among the people I meet; or maybe I'm in a better geographic and logistical space in my life, spending time with a set of people who are a better match for me and my needs. Either way, I'm much happier about the "battle between the sexes" than I used to be and I don't really mind what the cause is (except that I'd like to continue to replicate it). I'd suggest to flguytampa21, that he's itching because he's irritated, and the short-term solution is indeed to scratch; but the longer-term solution (if you can make it work!) is to alleviate the irritation at its source.
I've ALWAYS felt that I'm "forced" to go to a strip club because I "can't" get what I want / need in the regular world. Where else can I have access to conversations with pleasant, hot women? Where else can I see a hot woman naked? Where else can I maybe get sexual gratification with a hot woman? Really ... those questions have an obvious answer: IN A REAL RELATIONSHIP. If the relationship is good. Some day I'm going to learn to actually make that sort of thing happen for me.
Guys are lucky. We can be troll-like, fat, hairy, un-fit, even angry and aggressive, and yet we can still be desirable to certain women, even hot women. It just takes the right attitude, skills, outfit, clothing, lifestyle. We have more choice than women. I would hate to be a fat ugly woman trying to make the dating game work for me. There's just no solution, other than going to the gym for years, and then the plastic surgeon for facial reconstruction.
I dunno. I feel pretty good about getting "rid of the SC itch" lately. Can't explain why. I have hope that real relationships might some day become fulfilling for me, again.
Then again, I've just taken my pill. The positive attitude might fade by noon ...
Anything's possible. Alternatives would help. But if there's no harm being done with it, why not? The real question comes down to the tradeoffs. There are costs to everything, with this scene in particular, and dollars are only one aspect of what they truly are.
SuperDude is probably right about cold turkey. 12 step programs have a saying about changing playgrounds and playmates. So those who suggest not visiting this site are probably right about that. Obviously, staying out of the clubs would be an important part of quitting, LOL. I went cold turkey for 6 months about 7 or 8 years ago primarily for financial reasons. So, I am pretty sure I could do it again if I needed to.
Apparently, for me, I don't feel that I need to quit entirely at this time. I do feel that I need to cut down on spending, and I have reduced my outlay by around 50% during the past couple of years. I need to be careful about wasting money on bad dances/dancers. Can't be perfect there, but I do have a couple of fav's and tend to stick with them. Reducing the "chase" part of it seems to help in controlling the cash burn rate. But I've always got an eye on the other side of the fence.
I try not to give much thought to the ultra high mileage newby that caught my attention back in December; I binged, and dropped a grand on her in two weeks (it was worth every penny of it, btw. No regrets). Not a very good way to reduce spending. I intentionally avoided OTC with her for cash reasons - and I am avoiding her at the club these days as well. But, one of these days...
If I was forced to stop completely, I would have to get very honest with myself about my motivation for going to clubs. God, I hope that doesn't happen anytime soon. I got into a lot of CC debt 10 years ago largely as a result of clubbing, and I refuse to do that again. That made those dances cost $100 each by the time I got it all paid off.
If you are successful, try not to replace that behavior with something that is even more expensive, or more dangerous.
No. She did know I went many years ago when I lived in NYC with a friend that also shared my appreciation of clubs (I was with my wife at the time then too). But she doesn't know that I have started going again.
If you find something to do that you enjoy more, it would be easy to stop going. The last time I went, I had fun at all the clubs I visited. In the last one I noticed two of the waitresses were looking nicer and sexier than a number of the dancers. They were wearing very short skirts and looking pretty good especially when they bent over at nearby tables showing off their umm assets. Then at another time I saw three pretty female customers on the other side of the stage that was near me. They were all smiling happily looking up at the pretty topless dancer up on stage. Before they left I was watching them as they all squeezed in between my chair and another nearby. I was watching the blonde and I noticed she was watching me the whole time. I never really thought too long about trying to go out with any of the female customers in a strip club before. However most of my favorites were not their that night and I had time to just sit in the club watching everyone. It was different not having dancers interrupting me or sitting on my lap or at my table every few minutes. I enjoyed that. However I enjoy pretty dancers sitting on my lap too.
I'm afraid what I might enjoy more would have to be addictive.
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So I enjoy the huge numbers of women.
Yea...sure, but (like any other addiction) you have to be serious about kicking the habit. I would humbly suggest that frequenting a website like this that is dedicated to strip clubs & providing info about strip clibs isn't the place for someone that wants "to move past it all" though.
For instance, I doubt that there are many alcoholics that go to coors.com...
1. what if your someone special is a stripper?
2. what if she likes going to strip clubs herself?
In truth, I have no idea if I could, or if I'd want to get rid of the SC itch.
I'm just really busy (in a good way), and I have so many other hobbies which compete against "mongering". I guess I go to clubs 4-6 times a year now, tops... all I have time for.
O.
Now here's how I feel -- "Whack off and back to work."
There are
There are advantages and disadvantages to each.
I've been married 15 years, have a great relationship with my wife, we have great sex and a happy marriage.
Yet it doesn't minimize my desire to go to clubs. Part of it must be that I just resumed going after a long unintentional hiatus.
I can afford it now much easier than in the past (I suppose if I was struggling to pay the mortgage, clubs would be last on my mind). A great full two-way contact lap dance feels like a way to experience other women without violating the faith of our union. I don't consider it cheating (if you forgo extras), it is pure titillation.
I have to admit, I love driving home from a strip club and still smelling the dancer on me. Although it's given me a bit of a pause as to whether my wife would smell the perfume as well.
A real affair with another person, with both the emotional and sexual aspects, feels much more damaging to a marriage than getting a lap dance from a girl I only see in the club.
That said, I do feel like I have a bit of an addiction and need to slow down. I'm averaging 2-3 clubs per week and need to slow down in order to reduced the time it's taking up, as well as the cost.
I'd like to scale back to once per month and spend about $200 to $250. I could see myself doing this for a long time, looking forward to my one visit a month with a good amount of dances with the various girls (both ATF and new ones).
I'm currently averaging $120 to $200 per visit and with the last 8+ visits in the last 3 weeks, it's getting too expensive.
Seems like mkreef is barking up the right tree. He's well on his way to a balanced appreciation of the finer things in life, if the "itch" doesn't get the better of him.
Seems, to the contrary, like me and flguytampa21 have more "issues." (Sorry to put thoughts in your head, flguytampa21. Maybe I've mis-read your situation or attitude.) I would LIKE to have a wonderful relationship with a hot woman outside of strip-clubbing -- and I've actually met some decent, good-catch women lately, who have less of the girly-girl bullshit that has annoyed me so much in the past. Maybe I've been "eliciting" the bullshit and my new outlook allows me to bring out better behavior among the people I meet; or maybe I'm in a better geographic and logistical space in my life, spending time with a set of people who are a better match for me and my needs. Either way, I'm much happier about the "battle between the sexes" than I used to be and I don't really mind what the cause is (except that I'd like to continue to replicate it). I'd suggest to flguytampa21, that he's itching because he's irritated, and the short-term solution is indeed to scratch; but the longer-term solution (if you can make it work!) is to alleviate the irritation at its source.
I've ALWAYS felt that I'm "forced" to go to a strip club because I "can't" get what I want / need in the regular world. Where else can I have access to conversations with pleasant, hot women? Where else can I see a hot woman naked? Where else can I maybe get sexual gratification with a hot woman? Really ... those questions have an obvious answer: IN A REAL RELATIONSHIP. If the relationship is good. Some day I'm going to learn to actually make that sort of thing happen for me.
Guys are lucky. We can be troll-like, fat, hairy, un-fit, even angry and aggressive, and yet we can still be desirable to certain women, even hot women. It just takes the right attitude, skills, outfit, clothing, lifestyle. We have more choice than women. I would hate to be a fat ugly woman trying to make the dating game work for me. There's just no solution, other than going to the gym for years, and then the plastic surgeon for facial reconstruction.
I dunno. I feel pretty good about getting "rid of the SC itch" lately. Can't explain why. I have hope that real relationships might some day become fulfilling for me, again.
Then again, I've just taken my pill. The positive attitude might fade by noon ...
Apparently, for me, I don't feel that I need to quit entirely at this time. I do feel that I need to cut down on spending, and I have reduced my outlay by around 50% during the past couple of years. I need to be careful about wasting money on bad dances/dancers. Can't be perfect there, but I do have a couple of fav's and tend to stick with them. Reducing the "chase" part of it seems to help in controlling the cash burn rate. But I've always got an eye on the other side of the fence.
I try not to give much thought to the ultra high mileage newby that caught my attention back in December; I binged, and dropped a grand on her in two weeks (it was worth every penny of it, btw. No regrets). Not a very good way to reduce spending. I intentionally avoided OTC with her for cash reasons - and I am avoiding her at the club these days as well. But, one of these days...
If I was forced to stop completely, I would have to get very honest with myself about my motivation for going to clubs. God, I hope that doesn't happen anytime soon. I got into a lot of CC debt 10 years ago largely as a result of clubbing, and I refuse to do that again. That made those dances cost $100 each by the time I got it all paid off.
If you are successful, try not to replace that behavior with something that is even more expensive, or more dangerous.
It sounds like you are well-medicated BG...congrats on that...
No. She did know I went many years ago when I lived in NYC with a friend that also shared my appreciation of clubs (I was with my wife at the time then too). But she doesn't know that I have started going again.
I'm afraid what I might enjoy more would have to be addictive.
DEATH!