Hey guys,
Let's have a laugh at yourselves and others and admit some embarrassing moments. :)
I'll start with something fresh from last night. I was tipping on stage and tried to tuck a few dollars into the girl's G-string, I was very clumsy - dropped them and some of the other bills also felt. She said "don't bother" and continued dancing. I had to walk back to my place... yeah, not a big deal, but I felt pretty uneasy - it was on stage and everyone saw it.
had high friction lap dance with dancer at new club and at end she apologized said it never happened before and pointed to my lap, and my tan slacks were smeared with red, yes blood, I then had to walk out with the stain from the back of the club... needless to say I did not make it a regular stop. I left a trail of laughter as I left!!!!
Old timers here know about this one: At the end of a high contact lap dance, the dancer starting wincing in pain when she got up. Turned out the her navel ring had worked into my belt loop and we were hooked. It was impossible in the dark to see how to move the ring around to the opening and get it unhooked without causing her a lot more pain. The bouncer had to get a knife and cut the belt loop. Never saw her again.
greenarrow - I've run into a case of The Scarlet Lapper myself, though it didn't go down quite the same way. It wasn't too long ago on a swing through LA and I'm still kicking around whether to write a review of the club without factoring it in.
Let's just say I didn't realize something had gone awry until later on (don't ask).
TO minnow: 2) + 3), i.e. I dropped the bills that I intended to give her and the others from her G-string.
Now as I read other stories... this is nothing! Or maybe I just had a bad night, and such little things looked big.
But anyway, it started a good discussion... :)
Hmm...I have never fallen (knock on wood)... Oh!!! Well one time a dancer I didn't know was on stage and...the string to her...torpedo was just there for everyone to see. So I tried to tip her and point it out to her...I think she thought I was trying to...poke fun...and she made a big show of yelling at me that she was not a carpet muncher and blah blah so everyone looked at me like I got shot down that was humiliating. I was like damn...let her stay up there that way with her prude ass.
The most humiliating thing for guys, I would assume, would be your wife/girlfriend/life partner coming in the club and dragging you out. Or your credit card getting declined. LOL um...the first one I would laugh, the second one, not so much.
A few years back I was getting a dance from a VERY drunk dancer (I should have sensed trouble was a-coming). While rubbing her boobies in my face, she attempted to slide down my body, but lost her footing and her chin came crashing down on the bridge of my nose. Since she was drunk I took the force of her full body weight. Well....my nose started bleeding and I thought it might be broken. The dancer, drunkenly oblivious, just kept dancing away. Several dancers took me into the ladies room to try & clean me up. Very embarrassing. My nose wasn't broken, but I did have two black eyes that I had to explain to my SO when I got home. My lame explanation? I accidently hit myself with a barbell at the gym.
Anna,
Now that you mention it... One time I was all set for a VIP visit. I needed a few more dollars, however. I wen to the ATM, with the dancer in tow, and it would not accept my card. No reason, just spit it out. So I tried another, and same thing. I KNEW I had money, but she thought otherwise. I was embarrassed for sure. I didn't leave the club. A bit later, another guy tried the ATM and it rejected THREE of his cards! So it was decided the ATM was broken. I found out, at a later time, that the club had two phone lines. The ATM used the second to dial out. Well, during the time it wasn't working, some dancer was using that line and left her party on hold if she had to dance. I believe she got herself fired!
Drove out of the club in my SUV after too much to drink. Missed the driveway, hit the curb and the street. Wacked the oil pan. Big leak. Big repair. The valet laughed the whole time.
I once had a porn star use me during her stage act. I was wearing white shorts sitting at the stage. I was sitting back in my chair. All the other guys were leaning over the small stage. She got on her knees in front of me and suddenly but carefully bit down on my pants and got me strategically. What I didn't realize during the 2 or 3 minutes she had me, she was getting red lipstick all over the front side of my shorts. The next strip club I went to, I just explained that I met a porn star and that was her lipstick all over my shorts. At least she didn't try to tear my clothes off.
Got covered full service at a club during a late afternoon visit. Didn't think much about the used condom.
On my way home decided to get a bite to eat, carryout. As I was walking through the foyer of the restaurant, to the counter area, I felt the condom work its way out of my pants leg, onto the tile floor of the foyer. As far as I know, no one saw it fall it out. It was getting dark, but there were a lot of people coming and going (no one in the foyer with me at the precise moment that the comdom fell out).
Moral dilemma: what to do? pick it up, and implicitly assume responsibility for it? Or be a douche, and just let it lie there, like pretending that you weren't the one who cut a big fart in a crown.
Of course, I just sailed past the used scumbag, leaving some family with young children to notice it, and some poor minimum wage staff member to attend to it.
Given the girl I had been with at the strip club, I hope they laid down a little bleach after picking up the condom.
"...cut a big fart in a crown."? A new one on me. I can see it now, in bars, "I'd like a Crown with a fart." :)
I've had a couple times where I didn't have enough cash on hand and had to use the club ATM. I'm sure we've all stained our pants as well.
One that comes to mind is somewhat similar to Chitown's. It was early in my lap dancing career and I was experimenting with wearing a condom into the club. In this case Olympic Garden in Vegas. Was wearing shorts and at some point while walking around the empty condom slipped off and fell on the carpeted floor.
No sooner than it did a guy comes by with a broom and dustpan and sweeps it up without batting an eye. Good thing the club was dark, I must have turned several shades of red.
To OP- I don't get what is embarrasing about your situation, or exactly what happened. When you say "dropped them", did you??
Anyway, my "occurence". After customary settle in period, I bought my 1st lapdance. When LD was about to start, dancer got horrified expression on her face, and said "I don't normally do that." When I asked her what she meant, she pointed at my crotch. My fly was open- I said that I would take care of it and be back. In RR, come to find out, the zipper was broken. So I went to doorman, asked him if he knew where nearest 24 hr Walmart was, AND mentioned my predicament, asking if it would be OK to return without paying another cover charge. He said all was cool, but I bet he LHAO when I left. Upon return, never did see original dancer. (Shift change??)