tuscl

Stripper funerals

Friday, November 7, 2008 9:45 PM
I happened to recall a stripper funeral I attended many years ago (early 90s). A dancer at Cheetah (in Atlanta) had committed suicide (or had been murdered, perhaps... there was always some question, but finally it was ruled a suicide) by self-inflicted gunshot wound. I can't recall her name, unfortunately (reason forthcoming.) On the evening it happened, I was at the apartment of a couple of the "Cheetah girls" (as they style themselves) and as the evening wound on and the news unfolded, there were about half a dozen girls gathered in this apartment. There was some discussion of who EXACTLY it was who had died, and finally it came down to a description of her pussy which got the "ah... oh my God" reactions of recognition. It was pretty surreal, but I too thought I knew who they were referring to. So it happened that we all drove together - in one bartender's van - down to a Baptist church in Tifton, GA. There were perhaps 6-8 strippers in what can only be described as "stripper funeral outfits". When we arrived, the dead girl's conservative family and the townsfolk were quite mortified. What happened next - (i) I looked in the coffin, and had no idea who the girl was, (ii) the minister lambasted the dead girl for her life of sin and the corruption of her friends, (iii) it rained at the grave site, ruining the copious big hair there and (iv) the other strippers bitterly criticized the dead girl's cosmetic makeover... one d-cupper actually commented "she wouldn't have been caught dead like that if she were alive". A stripper funeral: something to remember... O.

8 comments

  • Book Guy
    •
    16 years ago
    Time to write the screenplay. I see Dennis Hopper as the bartender driving the van, Jack Nicholson as Ozymandias, Will Smith and Ashton Kutcher as young clueless visitors to the funeral, Tommy Lee Jones or Sam Shepard as the preacher, and Alyssa Milano as the "queen bee" bitchy-but-lovable top stripper. Extra strippers played by Halle Berry, Nicole Kidman, Winona Ryder, Ann Hathaway, Julia Roberts, any other recent starlets who want to be thought of as hotties. Wonderful opportunity for a now-beyond-her-prime famous porn actress (Nina Hartley, for example) to play either the corpse or the house mom.
  • Dudester
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    16 years ago
    Book Guy, this is brilliant, however... You got one right-Tommy Lee Jones would be perfect as the judgemental preacher. Vanessa Del Rio is one of the (former) porn stars doing mainstream (the list now grows, almost daily). The strippers though, would have to be present and former Disney Princesses Hillary and Haylie Duff, Brenda Song, Ashley Tisdale, Miley Cyrus and finally-Anna Marie Perez as the actually virginal stripper who has been on the job for days.
  • shadowcat
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    16 years ago
    I enjoyed the story. Thanks for sharing.
  • Dudester
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    16 years ago
    I am remiss in not mentioning this, because I actually knew her. Shannon Kay Wilsey was known as porn goddess Savannah. In the early 90's, she was undoubtedly the it girl in porn. In the beginning of her career in porn, her family was grudgingly supportive, but eventually, her family became less supportive. Her father became an ordained minister in a fundamental church. Her family cut off contact with her and Shannon took it hard. There was a couple of subsequent events, but her family pain ignited an emptiness in her that drove her to suicide. I took her death hard because I knew her before she was famous and I knew the shy vulnerable girl that she was. BTW, her family took custody of her body and the funeral only had six family members to prevent the type of funeral described in the initial post here.
  • MisterGuy
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    16 years ago
    That's that girl that killed herself after she thought her face was messed up from a minor car accident...weird...I used to love her movies...
  • someyoungguysomeyoungguy
    •
    16 years ago
    There was a stripper girl I kind of knew who OD's a year ago. I was torn, but I finally chose not to go because 1) I hadn't seen her in about a year and 2) to this day I don't believe her family would want a custy like me crashing the funeral, especially since I didn't even knew her real name. I think I did the right thing, but I will never be sure.
  • JMelbourne27
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    16 years ago
    I don't think it would be appropriate for a strippers 'clients' to be at her funeral...maybe if they were regulars and she confided in them?
  • DandyDan
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    16 years ago
    I'm having a hard time visualizing what "stripper funeral outfits" are. What the hell is that?
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