strangest thing seen in clubs?

15 comments

• CarolinaWanderer

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  16 years ago

  In Florida I saw a stripper with one leg 6 inches shorter than the other and a hook for a hand. I don't remember which hand. I passed on lap dances from her.
• casualguy

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  16 years ago

  I'm not sure. The first thing that popped in my hand was the tallest stripper or feature entertainer in the world carrying a long sword down the stage and swinging it around in the air while having fireworks go off at the edge of the stage. The creepiest thing was something I saw just recently. A guy dressed up as a girl. Gross.
• chi_sam

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  16 years ago

  I've seen some freaky things, but one quirky thing comes to mind and makes for a funny story. I was in this lame club in TN. You know the kind of place - 1 brunette slut and 17 blond, college student, virginal, Barbie Doll clones that couldn't readily be discerned one from another, except some had bad boob jobs while others had really bad boob jobs. Well, one of the Barbies was going from table to table, sitting down on her little towel and shaking hands and then immediately cleaning her hands with the little bottle of Purel hand sanitizer that she was carrying around, placing conspicuously on each table. Of course, my turn came soon enough. She asked if she could join me and daintily spread out her towel and plopped the Purel right on the table. I bought her a drink. Fruit punch - figures. Then the handshake / wiping ritual. Noting the bottle of sanitizer, I told her, 'That's something you don't see every day'. Barbie: It's hand sanitizer. Do you have any idea how many germs could be in this place? Sam: Yeah, I don't doubt that. It's just that I've never seen that before. Barbie: All the girls here use it. Sam: Well, I don't see any of them carrying it around. Do you see that on any other tables? Barbie: (missing my point) I've never worked anywhere else. What do they do in other clubs? Sam: Well, the places I typically hang-out, they carry around a bottle of Valtrex, and knock 'em back with a shot of Patron. Barbie: Really??? It was incredible to see the screwed-up look on her face as she tried to absorb it all. That was 2 months ago and I'd bet her eye's are still crossed. I love doin' that to 'em...
• Dudester

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  16 years ago

  In the early 80's, The Showboat was a nude strip joint in downtown San Diego. The gals there were porn actresses between movies. Summer was 19 and extremely cute. I was also 19 and extremely naive. Summer and I had ben flirting all evening. Finally, it ws her turn to be onstage. Unlike regular strippers who start out wearing something, she just walked out from the dressing rooms buck naked. She was carrying a large empty champagne bottle onstage. Once onstage, she started making love to the bottle, rubbing against parts of her face and licking it. Finally, playing with her tiny breasts, then she placed it on the stage and began to lower herself onto it. Just as it entered her, she made eye contact with me and I turned bright red. Everyone laughed at my expense. Later we became close friends.
• Dudester

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  16 years ago

  It was the late 90's, and I was somewhat financially disadvantaged. A big night for me then was going to a club with sixty bucks, which covered the cover charge, drink and tip, and a couple of LD's from a carefully chosen dancer. The club was in a strip shopping center and it was rather small. I went on a Sunday, and odd place, it closed around 5 p.m. on Sundays. I went in around four and found a cute small chested blonde. We went to a chair against the wall. She placed one of boobs in my mouth while she led one of my hands to her crotch. "You can play with it" she said as she pulled the panty aside to give me access. "Oh yeah, fuck me" she hissed as she bounced on my hand. At two songs I had to stop her and tell her it was all I can afford. She looked surprised and said:"Well, we're closing in ten minutes anyway, maybe you'd like to come over to my place to finish what you started." "Come over to your place?" I asked. "Well actually, I'm having some friends over for the same thing." My mind was reeling. I didn't know what to do. I politely declined. I left the club and checked out a shop next door. When I came out, she was getting in a van with six wild looking guys-looked like the kind who would get arrested en masse for something the media would report on. I stopped and gawked for a minute. She rolled the window. "I live on West Mount Road if you change your mind, green house on the left." I smiled, waved, and moved on. Never been to a gangbang, and if I did I'd want to somewhat trust the people there.
• DandyDan

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  16 years ago

  The one grandma dancer at my favorite club may be a category of strangeness unto herself. It's not totally impossible to see two ladies there do a spontaneous lesbian show, but grandma did one once with a lady young enough to be her granddaughter. I'm not sure I really want to see that again. A different dancer there stuck her finger up her ass once, and then in her mouth during a lapdance. I thought that only happened in really disgusting porn. At a different club, and on a different level, I saw a girl try to dance once with a cast on her foot. That was a complete waste of time.
• lotsoffun201

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  16 years ago

  "At a different club, and on a different level, I saw a girl try to dance once with a cast on her foot. That was a complete waste of time." Funny that reminds me of a scene in the movie "Let's Go To Prison" when Lyshitski is in a strip club with one girl in a halo brace and the other is dancing on stage with a cast on her leg. Your experience must have been kind of like that!
• Clubber

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  16 years ago

  I'll set the scene. A new dancer, just turned 18 (or so we were told), on her first day dancing. She is wearing just a plain white bikini, nothing "exotic". The first set (three songs) goes fairly normally other than she danced like a klutz. Second set, she comes out and starts her dances. The first song, all rolls on ok. The second, topless, she happens to start her period. No one says anything until another dancer rushes on the stage. They disappear to the dressing room. I never saw her again. I should ask what happened with her. I wonder if the bartender, still there, will remember that incident.
• shadowcat

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  16 years ago

  I have told this story before. I guess one more time will not hurt. In my favorite club and with Trogangreg as a witness. I was tipping a dancer on stage. She was rolling around on her back. She went to get up and grabbed my short pants for help. next thing I know my pants are at my ankles and she is screaming. I was commando and her screams got every bodies attention. She was more embarrassed than I. I saw her a few minutes later talking to the manager and 2 bouncers. They just had big smiles on their faces. She never came around to ask for a dance.
• blockbird

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  16 years ago

  A semi-sleazy club near the L.A. airport (you know the one if you've driven to the terminal). As the big sign indicates, yes, they are nude on stage. In the middle of a stage dance, a dancer's period starts...profusely. Like... we're talking hemorrhage. She calmly finishes her set as if nothing is unusual.
• Shekitout

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  16 years ago

  I've posted this one before: At a club in FL a new mommy dancer squirted a stream of milk from her breasts into the crowd. In the same city but a different club, a good-looking dancer came out on stage buck naked as they say & her pussy was dripping wet. Another dancer came out with a towel and led her off stage. Don't know how many are familiar with 'hoochie koochie shows' but in my younger days, small town carnivals would have them. Not to be confused with burlesque shows of the larger carnivals which usually had classier dancers & women were allowed in the audience. Hoochie koochie shows were for men only. They would be held in a tent & you would stand behind a rope. The dancers/performers would come right up to the rope & allow fingering of their pussy & feeling of their boobs. Sometimes there would be a stage. Sometimes you would see pregnant dancers who looked as if they were going to give birth at any moment. The dancers would love to grab a guy's glasses & rub it all over their pussy. Some would have a powder puff on a stick & would invite someone to powder their pussy & then when they were finished, shove the puff in their face. I've seen dancers smoke cigarettes or cigars in their pussy, stick eggs or ping pong balls in their pussy & pop them out one at a time & one time I saw a dancer insert a neon or fluorescent tube in her pussy & you could see the glow in her lower belly!
• shadowcat

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  16 years ago

  Shekitout jogged my memory. I wasn't a strip club but close enough. Back in 1964 when I was stationed in Japan. The USAF hosted a party for all of the guys in my duty section. The AF put up a chunk of change and the rest of us kicked in $5.00. 30 or 40 of us were driven by AF bus to a remote site. The party was held inside the enlisted men's club there. We were each given a string of tickets to pay for our drinks. The tables were arranged in a large square with the stage in the middle. Next was a top quality steak dinner. Then came dessert. The organizer for the party had hired two strippers. The first stripper got one of us to join her on stage and said that she would strip as far as he would. They got down to panties and skivvies. He wouldn't go any further. 3 guys jumped up on stage and ripped his shorts off. There was no sucky fucky going on but the two strippers gave us I good show of what can be shoved into a pussy. One stuck a hard boiled egg up there, cracked the shell with her mussels, peeled it and then offered it to any one to eat. No takers. One peeled a banana and shoved it up there. Again. no takers. The show lasted an hour with similar stuff and lots of girl on girl action. We boarded the bus for the trip back. The bought back any remaining tickets that we had. One fight broke out on the bus. I got off the bus and hit the local bars in search of a hooker. Found one. Your U.S. tax dollars at their best. Supporting the troops.
• FONDL

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  16 years ago

  I've told this story here before but there are probably some new guys who haven't heard it. I once went into a tiny club in rural upstate NY and was the only customer in the place. Nothing was going on, just a bartender and a young average-looking dancer sitting at the bar. So I sat with them, ordered a beer, and started talking to the girl. Eventually I asked if there were any private dances. She said yes but she didn't do them, I had to talk to the other girl, who had just come out onstage. So I went over to see her and she turned out to be about 50, huge fake boobs, and few teeth. And she immediately quoted me her price list for everything you can think of. I left. In and out in about 15 minutes, probably my shortest strip club visit ever. I still laugh when I think about it. What a dump.
• ShotDisc

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  16 years ago

  long ago at a dive club called the Lamplighter outside NYC, I saw a short, dumpy brunette dancer take some guys full ring of keys off his table and hide them in her pussy. she finished her set with them inside her, then handed them back to him as she left the stage.
• shadowcat

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  16 years ago

  In my late teens, early twenties. We would sometimes drive the 4 hours from LA to TJ. We went to clubs like the Green Door and the Blue Fox. All whore houses of course. Some of us went to get laid and some of us just to drink and watch the shows. Total nudity with live music. One club had a low rail around it. Probably 6 inches high. I saw one dancer laying on the rail. She had 3 guys on top of her. One on each tit and one DATYing. One of them was my best friend. On one trip a buddy gave me his money to hold while he went to one of the back room with a hooker. He came out awhile later needing another $20. She had slipped his watch off and demanded more money for its return. Another times we had to pay off a cop. A buddy was takening a piss in an Alley. A whistle blew and the cop was on the scene. We had to pay $10 to keep him out of jail. I am sure that they split the money. As for the famous DONKEY show. An urban legend.