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Avatar for zelixir
zelixir

What defines a great review? Would you guys mind providing a checklist for us noobs, please?

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Avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat

Read the review guidelines.

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Avatar for RonJax2
RonJax2

The problem with the review guidelines is that they're hidden on the submit page, so it seems like people miss them frequently. I wish there was a page like tuscl.com/guidelines one could link people to.

Anyway, here's the guidelines in full:

Your review should be at least 4 solid paragraphs, with 4-7 sentences each.  
    PLACE: One paragraph should describe the PLACE. Mention cleanliness, thug factor, music level, dj annoyance factor, lighting, etc.  
    PEOPLE: Another paragraph should describe the PEOPLE. How were the dancers. How many were there? What ethnicities did you see? Did they seem happy to see you?  
    PRICE: A third paragraph should be about PRICE.Don't say drinks, dances, cover charge, etc. were cheap or expensive. Tell us the actual costs!  
    At least one paragraph should summarize with three or four sentences describing why you would or would not return to the club.  
Content and length are the two most important factors to consider.  
    Be wordy. Fill the review box. One or two sentence reviews aren't helpful to anyone.  
    Give a LOT of details in your review (club layout, atmosphere, dance quality, etc.).  
    Spelling, grammar, and punctuation count. Do not use ALL CAPITAL LETTERS! When composing a review, spell check it.  
Be honest. You can go into explicit detail of the private dances. Just be careful with names if you think it may get someone in trouble.  
Pro Tip 1: Think about what you would like to tell your good buddy about a place he's never been to.  
Pro Tip 2: Think about the business traveler that is sitting in his hotel room with only time enough to hit one club in this new town. Let him know why he should or should not visit.  

We have a zero tolerance policy for plagiarism. If we find out you submit a review as your own from another site, your account will be deleted.

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Avatar for zelixir
zelixir

RonJax2!!! Thank you! Exactly what I was looking for - couldn't find it when I was searching around and I didn't want to keep writing rejected reviews trying to circumnavigate what everyone's preferences are.
Appreciate you tenfold.
Cheers!

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Avatar for RonJax2
RonJax2

No problem mate. Like I said it's kind of buried. To find that text you have to go to submit at new review, then there's a link that says "READ REVIEW GUIDELINES" that can be unfurled. You're not the first new TUSCLer to completely miss that text!

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Avatar for Techman
Techman

Minimum for a review: Bikini, pastie, topless or nude on stage, LD's and VIP? Cost of entry, drinks, food, LD's and VIP? Mileage? Description of dancers and dancing?

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Avatar for shailynn
shailynn

Subraman needs to know if there’s a bathroom troll so he’ll have someone to talk to.

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Avatar for blahblahblahs
blahblahblahs

From my perspective the two most important items are lap dance cost and a general description of the dancers. Some PLs really like a list of dancer names, but I personally don't find that especially useful. Instead, what I want to know are "does this place tend to employ dancers that are to my tastes?" This is where descriptions of age, hair styles, natural or fake boobs? Do the girls all sport BBLs and fake lips? Body type: spinners, soft, HWP or heavy Excessive tats, etc?

Additional data points of value: primary language spoken by the dancers?
Do they scan IDs?
How safe did it feel? (e.g. roided bouncers looking for an excuse, ghetto powderkeg, tweaking rednecks, heavy cop presence)?

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Avatar for PAWG_Patrol
PAWG_Patrol
  1. Prices
  2. Dancer description
  3. Dance quality

There's other useful info or course but if a review doesn't contain all 3 of those it's pointless.

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Avatar for RockAllNight
RockAllNight

/article/602
This goes back 18 years or so but still valid.

MOST IMPORTANT
Dancer types and quality
Dance descriptions
Prices

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Avatar for Muddy
Muddy

Too many people don't describe the lineup

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Avatar for 59
59

Agree that a frequent issue is the reviewer provides no description of the lineup. How does a potential visitor decide whether to stop in or take a pass?

I have no qualms rejecting reviews like this, including some that have been very detailed in other aspects. Unfortunately I seem to be in the minority, they get approved.

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Avatar for Dolfan
Dolfan

Ask 10 people, you'll get 6 different answers on what the top 3 most important things in a review are. And then there's the topic of being too explicit, which also generates lots of discussion.

My two cents:

The dancers. I'd like some generalities about them, not just your opinion on them being hot or not and how many. Give us some details. What are the age ranges, body types, race/nationality, language spoken, are they covered in tattoo's, does it look like they've got a plastic surgeon who barter, anything you think is noteworthy.

The prices. How much was everything. Parking, Cover, drinks, various types of dances offered, rooms, etc. If you know about any specials, throw it in there for good measure. For example, some clubs have discounted dances on some days or offer free lunch or late night breakfast buffets.

After that, it's all gravy. I like some idea of what kind of contact/intimacy is available. But I'm not interested in a blow by blow account of the encounter. A comment like "the dance included mutual touching, but no more" or "she enthusiastically delivered everything she promised" is sufficient.

I don't want to see extras tied to a specific dancer, either explicitly named or described in detail. If a girl was particularly bad, attempted to rob/steal, etc. I'm fine with naming her.

I really don't like things like valet parking or ID scanning. So I always like to see when a review confirms if those things are required. This is clearly something specific to me, but if there's some other little details you find important, then include it.

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Avatar for zelixir
zelixir

Thanks everyone for putting in their two cents. This is very helpful. Got my review published. Much appreciated guys.

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Avatar for Jascoi
Jascoi

I definitely have a lot of room for improvement.

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Avatar for Icey
Icey

Dont be redundant. Dont describe what tye clib looks pike. Just post details of your experience there

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