The Secret Revealed: Why some board posters haven't reviewed any clubs...

I like it... Funny!

very funny however the 6-3 200 lbs part has made my day, because I having some problems today with this, otherwise fun, particular dancer who I long have believed has some kind of narcissistic sociopathic personality disorder which now and then surfaces - and its a bit hard to deal with.

Some of us really are 6-3 and in shape and 200 lbs and have lots of money and happen (among other things)to be lawyers, I mean its not really that big a deal, and by the way no one is claiming to look like a younger version of Sean Connery or any other Bond actor.

You would be very suprised how much of a true gentlemen I am in a club setting, with this "horndog vibe" being very very low key - which is actually much more effective when it operates in that fashion

Well chandler, at least Davyboy & BobbyI are finally trying to submit some reviews...LOL!

I'm totally PISSED!!! These reviews are gold and founder just arbitrarily rejects them because this is his site??? Who does he think he is?

Excellent post, chandler. :) LOL!

ROTFLMAO -- this is very possibly the funniest post so far in 2008. A classic. And that's saying something, because there are a number of posts on this site that are extremely funny, albeit in an unintentional, somewhat mortifying fashion.

Notice that Bobby has no trouble taking a joke at his expense. As much as I disagree with Bobby on more than one topic, this is an example of why I think he is not a jerk.

On the other hand, David has to rush to his own defense, to assure everyone that he really is a hot stud. In case no one has noticed, David has spent the last 36 hours on a media blitz to convince everyone on the board that he is what he claims to be. Sadly for him, he's doing this by posting ever more absurd claims:

spending $60K a year at the clubs (for you tax wizards, that would be over $100K in pretax income, so he is claiming to spend over 20% of his annual gross income -- which is ludicrously claimed to be $500k -- on strippers!)

handing $1000 to a stripper, in front of everyone while she's on stage, to prepay her for a session in the VIP (that's not for the club but for the girl; great way to attract LE, and to get the club to toss you out for exposing them to vice charges)

spending 240 hours per year in the clubs (the equivalent of six work weeks, yet he still maintains a $500k per year job, wife, family, and various other responsibilities)

YET he still refuses to post reviews because he supposedly needs to maintain his confidentiality and privacy. That's a great way to maintain your privacy. Post incessantly on public boards available to anyone, but don't post private reviews that only members can read. And the person claiming to jealously guard his privacy nonetheless spends thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours engaged in the very public soliciation of prostitution. This has to be one of the most transparently ridiculous claims anyone has ever made on this site.

By the way, I had no clue David claimed to be a lawyer. Of all of the whoppers he's told on this board, that has to be the biggest. One thing I can promise you is that David has never been a member of the bar.

Now I am sure jablake will post one of his surreal, stream of conscious defenses of David, that lead off into a completely different subject. The funny part is that jablake always rises to David's defense, but David keeps calling him "jarblake."

Actually I do look like Sean Connery, not the younger version, but the current version, but I am only 5'12" and 187.235 lbs.

"Now I am sure jablake will post one of his surreal, stream of conscious defenses of David, that lead off into a completely different subject. The funny part is that jablake always rises to David's defense, but David keeps calling him 'jarblake.'"

It is just a term of endearment. :) Oops, there I go again rising to David's defense. LOL! The reality of course is that sometimes to accurately understand the message one must overlook logical or factual inconsistency and further consider the context, probable motives, diversionary tactics, etc. etc. etc. When considering the Apache culture as a whole as it existed some 300 years ago, it must be obvious that their social mores were shaped by their primitive technology as well as competing tribes to name but two major influences. How does this apply to David, one might ask? Simple look at the "advanced" technology that David employs. Letters on a screen with countless possible meanings; pitiful just pitiful. Competing tribes? Think, DEA, FBI, LEO, CIA, etc. and even TUSCL. Even an extreme Alpha man might feel a tinge of fear surrounded by such tribes; especially an Alpha man with a lot to lose such a license to practice law or access to the hottest most fertile women money can rent. :)

Fuckin' Funny!

That was entertaining to read.

What is sad though are that some guys who haven't been to hardly any strip clubs think they can bring a bunch of money to strip clubs and just pick up a girl and go have sex with her. I even heard a story about some guy offering over 1 thousand to just skip the lap dance and go off to a hotel. Obviously he was misinformed about what typically goes in strip clubs. Now if he offered a million dollars to the girl and she accepted, he could claim that everyone has their price.

Funny review even though it is sad that some people really believe strippers are really prostitutes if you just offer them enough cash.

Chandler's post was perhaps the funniest thing ever on TUSCL

and from casualguy,

"Funny review even though it is sad that some people really believe strippers are really prostitutes if you just offer them enough cash"

perhaps the most TRUE statement ever posted on TUSCL

And all on the same thread....good job guys

Well, some strippers are prostitutes, and in some clubs you can just walk in and have sex with a girl, that's reality. But I agree that anyone who offers any woman $1000 for sex is a fool -- there's no reason to spend that much money.

"Funny review even though it is sad that some people really believe strippers are really prostitutes if you just offer them enough cash"

Say what? Hate to tell you this, but I can guarantee you that the majority of girls will have have sex for money at some point with at least some of their customers. And although offering $1k right off the bat is not the way to play it, does anyone really doubt if they were seriously putting that kind of money on the table they couldn't get at least half the girls to take them up on it? Heck these days it's probably more like 80%.

As un-PC as it to say, and as much as some would like to believe that strippers are really different (perhaps to make themselves feel better and what they do and how they feel about strippers), the fact that so many REALLY WILL have sex for money mean that they are, indeed, prostitutes.

I think we've hit on a potential new feature for TUSCL: "Worst of the Week!" Each week, Founder could post the 3-5 worst reviews received during the previous week. If they're anywhere near as entertaining as these gems were, I think it would be a big hit!

I don't think the failure to write a review means anything except maybe that they guy isn't interested in a free membership. I can think of a lot of reasons why a person wouldn't want to write any reviews. For one thing, I think a lot of them, including Chandler's examples, are phony so why bother? And if someone spends most of his time in one or two local clubs, he may not want to mention it because it would reveal where he's from.

JerseyJack

Um, you do realize Chandler's entire post is a satire, and the "reviews" are both fake reviews Chandler himself wrote for the sake of making a joke, right? Please say "yes."

And there is no Easter Bunny, either!

True that. I do sometimes worry about limited capacity of some folks on this board to recognize satire when it is slapping them in the face. On the other hand, perhaps they are merely pretending not to recognize it, in what is itself a clever bid for satire. Hmmm.

I personally met chandler at my favorite club about 3 months ago. I can say that his post is total satire. He freaked out when a dancer using the stage name chandler went on stage.

"I personally met chandler at my favorite club about 3 months ago. I can say that his post is total satire. He freaked out when a dancer using the stage name chandler went on stage."

That and $5 will buy me a dance at Angels. :)

Now if chandler could find a way to download cartoon version on "Bob & Dave" stripclub sortie on to Tuscl, ala Alfred E. Neumann, or Gary Larson, board humor will be raised to a new level.

Sorry guys, my bad .... didn't catch the whole satire aspect of the original post. Haven't been a regular reader of these discussion boards until recently. Going back and re-reading the follow-ups, it should have been obvious.

"For one thing, I think a lot of them, including Chandler's examples, are phony so why bother?"

Man, some of the old people here need some help when it comes to satire I guess...sheesh...