How do you reject a dancer without feeling bad/awkward?

Sometimes it's difficult for them to accept rejection if you say no Thank you. It definitely can be awkward.
I have encountered that problem a number of times because I'm not satisfied with just any girl. I usually have a very high standard... I'm looking for dream girl.

@Jascoi I’m happy to know I’m not alone with these experiences. I guess it is what it is I suppose.

Rejecting someone sucks and it never stops being awkward for me but I never go back and forth with a dancer. The club is an entertainment space and I get to spend on who I want. It’s not like the dancer was nagging you because she’s in love. She’s trying to bully you out of your money. I give a polite no thank you and act like she’s not there and that tends to work.

Lmao women reject man every day with no issues..don’t beat your self up about because they sure as hell don’t

Just politely say no thank you, but sometimes you have to repeat it.

Some dancers just push back. They might be having a bad day or that's their style. They also could be drunk or high. It happens. Don't take it personally. Just be polite.

I'll never make the mistake again of saying I was waiting for someone with a bigger ass. That girl got PISSED 😂

My go tos are "I just got here"/"I'm still warming up". Or "I'm good"/"I'm chillin". Doesn't sound like a rejection but she gets the point. Some don't though and you have to directly say no several times.

As a salesperson offering their services, a dancer should push back once to see if there is a specific objection she can overcome. Pushing back too hard or too often is annoying, and can cost her the opportunity for future business.

It's even harder when she is rubbing your cock while talking to you and doesn't appear to speak good English. If "No thank you" doesn't work then you just have to be rude and and repeat "No" in a loud voice.

"No thanks."
She might try to guilt you anyways; just don't fall for it.

===> "Just politely say no thank you, but sometimes you have to repeat it."

This if she asks you if you'd like a dance. Or, if she ask if she can sit with you, just tell her that you aren't looking for company at the moment.

Though it helps if you couldn't care less how she feels about it. I certainly don't. Maybe I'm just desensitized after doing this countless thousands of times over 20+ years, Idk. But if you don't learn to be comfortable in moving undesirable girls along, the more aggressive and desperate dancers will play games.

Sometimes those games will include pity hustles, accusations of racism or some other nonsense. Don't bite. Be firm and if you have to, make it clear that you just don't like her. Maybe once a year I have to tell a girl something like, "Look hon, you're just not my cup of tea, OK?" If she leaves in a huff then so what? She was no use to me anyway.

You'll learn. Some of these girls smell weakness and try to exploit it. Conversely, if they're convinced that they're wasting time drilling a dry hole, they'll move along quicker. So the more you toughen up and don't care about how the rejected girls feel, the less drama you'll have to deal with.

Re: "make anyone feel like shit..."

All good advice here. I will add that you can't make anybody feel a certain way. People have their own frames from which they react. That's on her, and not on you. Your only job is to share clearly and politely.

Also, you do not need a specific reason, even if she has seen you spending time with other dancers beforehand. It's tempting to go with some reason you hope she'll accept, like I just got here, I'm ordering dinner, I'm getting ready to leave, etc. Depending on your circumstances, you might try an excuse like that. But if she doesn't depart, then just default to, "Not right now, Sweetie."

Not now honey usually works well, but regardless I don’t feel bad about rejecting a girl, it’s my choice.

Don’t make up an excuse. Don’t say you’re waiting for someone if you’re not.

Basically, don’t give her any room to argue with you. Just say “no thank you, I’m good.” If you get any pushback, don’t get drawn into a debate. If she says for example, “are you not into black girls?” you can respond “I love black girls.” but you have to resist adding anything to that. If she says “then why aren’t you interested in a dance with me?” just repeat “no thank you, I’m good.” Direct, relatively polite and when she eventually comes to the realization that not only is she not going to get your money AND you’re not going to argue with her, she’ll know it’s a waste of her time and leave. 99% of the time that’s enough. Once you do it enough times you’ll have the confidence and experience that it won’t be an issue, even after you’ve had a few drinks and your discipline wanes a bit.

Don’t feel bad. They would reject you in the real world in a heart beat and not feel an iota of remorse.

Its not a big deal. Just tell her you have your eye on another girl. Or just no thank you. Be polite.

I'm in the just politely say no thank you, repeat as required camp. I'll move on to something like thanks for stopping by or have a good day or similar phrases to more clearly indicate my desire for her to move along. Very few girls keep trying after that point.

I don't get drawn into a discussion as to why I'm not interested at all.

I learned early on to avoid temporary excuses, I just got here and want to relax first, I'm waiting for someone else, I just got dances and need a break, etc. At best, those sorts of things encourage her to come back and try again. Which can lead to an endless cycle of bullshit excuses.

I don't give in to requests for rejection tips, pity hustles, or that crap either. If she starts with the racism accusations or why do you come here if you don't want dances I usually involuntarily laugh a bit at the absurdity but then I'll give her one more "no thank you, I'm good, thanks for stopping by, have a nice day" and cease all interaction.

My intent is not to be mean spirited or rude. I don't derive any pleasure from rejecting dancers. I don't revel in the role reversal or any of that shit. But I also don't care too much if they take offense.

It's fake polite to make them think you might be interested later if you know you won't be. Generally, you should give them a big smile, and say something like "no thanks, I'm good". Feels sorry for the ones who are genuinely hurt by a polite rejection. They shouldn't be dancing, somehow they got stuck with doing it. With the ones who try to badger or shame you into getting a dance, they are the ones who should feel bad about doing it. Since I'm there to enjoy myself, my typical lines for the badgerers are "I just came to watch the stage show" or "I came to see Bubbles". If she says shel'll go get Bubbles, say Bubbles already knows you're there. The more that badgerers have free reign in a club, the more likely it is you will have more serious problems in that club.

If all else fails, say that you don’t have any money. Strippers want nothing to to with a guy with no money - and she’ll be the one doing the rejecting.

===> "Since I'm there to enjoy myself, my typical lines for the badgerers are "I just came to watch the stage show" or "I came to see Bubbles". If she says shel'll go get Bubbles, say Bubbles already knows you're there."

Idk, but IME you're setting yourself up for later "badgering" if you don't just shut it down more directly. An hour later, you could be hearing "Why hasn't Bubbles come by yet?" or "Why aren't you tipping the girls on stage - are you just here for a free show?"

Responses I keep in my back pocket for persistent ones, before I drop the "I just don't like you" line, include...

"When I figure it out, I'll let her know myself."
"I'm here for whatever I feel like doing when I feel like doing it."
"I'm not going to be buying anything anytime soon. Just thought you should know."

... and some others I haven't thought of. Usually they get the hint and move their asses to better prospects.

If they push back, they are the ones making it awkward.

My least favorite are black dancers who accuse me of racism when I reject them. Sometimes it's hard not to say "I only like hot black girls, you ain't it".

Anyways, just give a strong "no thanks" to whatever she says if she tries the hard press.

"Be comfortable being uncomfortable". Favorite quote from my days in service that applies to many situations including this one.

If you're just genuinely nice/empathic person, you may never completely numb yourself to rejecting people for any reason. In that case, don't change it. Just accept it as something you have to do even though it makes you feel bad.

In other cases, understand they are a salesman and you, for whatever reason, are not interested in their services. Do you feel bad saying no to the random mall kiosk worker trying to get to buy random things? Do you feel bad walking through town while someone tries to get you to come inside their store?

If you're like most people, then the answer is no. Same thing applies here. They might try a variety of things after an initial rejection to get you to bite, you just have to stick to your guns.

The real question is how you say no to a dancer with whom you have had a number of wonderful experiences, and your only reason is that you want someone new. Add in the caveat of how you say no, without shutting the door forever.

I usually start stuttering and stammering then sprint away. Works every time.

My experience has been you can reject a dancer you've gotten dances from before once and it's no harm no foul. Especially if it's relatively busy and she has other guys to talk to.

Twice in a row and she will assume you're over her and will then need to approach her the next time you want dances. But as always, money talks.

Shift your mindset to business versus personal.

If it's a business transaction, you aren't interested in the product that is being offered.

I'm not suggesting you should be rude or cold, but after politely declining, there's no more feeling involved.....it's just business.

Rejection is unwelcoming and may seem awkward, no one likes it. But, if it’s handled correctly then it may not come up as being harsh or rude. So,I usually prefer keeping it short and sweet by saying, ‘ Tonight I am only chilling, and you’re beautiful but I don’t want to waste your time ‘ . Time is money for these dancers, so majority will simply thank you for being upfront and walk away saying to call them if you change your mind 😁

The really difficult one to handle is a girl that you had before and enjoyed... But but now you don't want to have another dance with her cuz she's gained a lot of weight or some other issue. That can be really awkward...

Say “Go back to your stable whore!”

I thank all of you for your responses! Definitely helpful on how to navigate this next time

Lmao Hungryhunnypot

Any dancer that pushes back after being rejected is simply manipulating you, hoping to guilt you into spending money on her that you were hoping to spend on someone else. She’s also manipulating your time, even though dancers usually accuse us PLs of doing this. A strip club is a buffet, and you get to choose what you want. Period.

Launching into a musical number always works for me. Even when belting out bad news, it's hard for anyone to be mad at a crooner...

In all seriousness, though, I usually just politely say "no thank you", or "I'm good for now", or something along those lines, while at the same time giving her a simple, genuine smile that lets her know that I appreciated her asking. Since some dancers are terrible at approaching customers, I don't want to discourage the ones who ARE willing to approach from continuing to do so! But sometimes the best you can do is kindly decline her offer, add in a sprinkle of firmness if necessary, and understand that it's okay for you to be selective about who you spend YOUR money on! Having said that, there are certainly differing philosophies out there on things like tipping, buying drinks, etc...

Random story time. I once had a dancer offer me a free dance. She had watched me spend enough at her club that it was her attempt at a hail mary to turn me into a regular. I kindly told her that I greatly appreciated the offer, but that I would not expect such a beautiful lady to give me a free dance, and that if we did dances in the future, she would not have to make such a donation! Unless I'm forgetting some other interaction that happened over the years, I think that's the only time I've ever been offered a free dance in a club...lol

@jamesSD, I've had a similar experience with a black dancer. The conversation was like:

• Hey, want some company?
  -- No, thanks, I'm good.
• Why not?
  Stumbling to answer this brash question, I responded, --Uh... you're just not my type.

She left in a huff, before I could offer that I do like black women and my favorite local club is all AA, but as a man of limited stature, I really like petite women, and definitely disdain women who could potentially outlift me. This particular dancer was built like an M1 Abrams tank.

Anyway, OP hopefully what you're getting from this thread is to be direct, honest, and brief. I like something like @PAFBABS answer best... "No thanks, you're beautiful but I don't want to waste your time."

^ I’m of the opinion that offering a reason is what gets you guys in trouble in the first place. I am always polite and pleasant, but there is nothing wrong with just saying no, it is perfectly acceptable, if she doesn’t accept it then she’s the one being unreasonable.

@Ron

-- No, thanks, I'm good.

• Why not?
• I'm waiting for somebody.
• Who? I'll get her.
• I can't remember her name, I'll know her when I see her.
• What does she look like?
• << generally describe someone who'd be your type >>
• Nobody who looks like that works here.
• I met here at the bar at Olive Garden, she said she would be working here.
• I've never seen anyone here who looks like that.
• Maybe it's her first night. I'll wait a while before I give up and leave.

Once you get a dance, any huffing is less likely, as it would be hopefully stripper-on-stripper, with you just watching and eating popcorn.

"No" is a complete and final sentence.
If she's a hustler, you'll get the hard sell anyways.
Who cares, what's she going to do? Storm away? That's what you wanted.
Is she going to call security because you didn't get a dance with her?
Fuck bitches like that.

Girls make bank from guys who are made to feel bad about rejecting them. Clubs are designed for variety and ability to choose.

Don't feel bad for a moment about rejecting a girl, or ending a dance session after you are satisfied/bored. You owe her nothing except the agreed-upon money for time spent.

If you are at the club looking for a new dancer and are approached by a favorite, rejecting her is dicey. She could get offended and never speak to you again.

I think the best approach is to let her down softly. You could offer to buy her a drink and say something like I can get a dance with you next time. That way you have shown continued interest and she shouldn't feel outright rejected.

@wisetoo. Agreed. This is why I keep fake excuses to a minimum and try not to lie at all. I don’t want the drama or reputation of being called out on a lie. This past week I was in the club to see a girl I just started with about a month ago. Before I see her, a girl I’d done stuff with came over after she’d been traveling for 9 months. We caught up for a bit and she asked, so I told her I had plans already. She moved on without issue. I later found out the two girls weren’t close friends, but they did have mutual respect for each other and talked in the locker room generally. You never know the dynamic outside of your sight in the main room, so don’t create situations if you can help it.