Can a lesbian dancer go straight again?

avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
Atlanta suburb
I have met a dancer, who is 30 years old, was married once, has no kids, says she has not had sex for 9 months and that it has been 6 years since she had sex with a man. She admits to trying the alternative life style for those six years but now says it was a mistake and now wants dick. I have offered mine and I think that she is getting damn close to accepting it. She has agreed to have dinner with me next month, followed by a "bubble bath", followed by you know what. She said "you really know what women like". She has an all natural body. No tats or piercings. I would rate her an 8 in appearance. A 9 on the couch and a 10+ in personality. Strip Shopper: you have met her. Would you go for it?

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avatar for casualguy
casualguy
17 years ago
Why did she get divorced? Did she marry a jerk and become a lesbian after that?
avatar for DandyDan
DandyDan
17 years ago
Well, I don't see why not. Gender preference for some women isn't as simple as what the lesbian label indicates. For one thing, she could have thought she was a lesbian when she was really bisexual.
avatar for njscfan
njscfan
17 years ago
I know the real point of this post is to talk about Shadowcat's potential sexual opportunities; nonetheless, I will take the headline of the OP seriously.

Women's sexuality is generally much more fluid than male sexuality. Some researchers conducted a study on how men respond to pornographic images (both naked pics and pics and videos of people having sex). They found that straight men are sexually aroused by pictures of naked women, and images of women and men having sex. I know, you're shocked. They also found that gay men were aroused by sexual imagery of gay sex and naked men. Again, no surprise there. The interesting part concerned men who described themselves as bisexual. Turns out they were really no different than the gay men. They were aroused by the gay porn; they were not aroused by the straight porn. The researchers did not say this, but a lot of folks in the field think bisexual men are really just gay. Male sexuality is pretty much one way or the other; you are gay or you are straight.

The same researchers repeated the same study, but with women. They published their results just a few weeks ago. For lesbians, they largely tracked the results for gay and straight men. That is, lesbians were sexually aroused by sexual imagery of women.

The interesting part concerned straight women. Turns out they were just as likely (perhaps even more likely) to be aroused by sexual imagery of women as men. A straight woman would not be aroused by pictures of a sexy naked man, but would be aroused, say, by an erotic dance of a woman. Generally, the study showed that supposedly straight women were aroused by the eroticism of the images, regardless of the gender of the people involved.

When you think about it, evidence for this conclusion is all around us. There is very little porn specifically for straight women. For example, Playgirl magazine is actually primarily consumed by gay men, not straight women. (Lesbians, on the other hand, do have sexual and semi-porn magazines aimed at lesbians.) Go look at a magazine rack of women's magazines, and what do you see on the cover? Pictures of beautiful sexy women. The marketers for these magazines clearly figured out long ago what the researchers confirmed: Women -- straight women -- clearly like looking at pictures of women, including pictures that are sexualized.

While not a scientific study, obviously, my personal experience bears this out. Of the straight women I have known well enough to inquire, a clear majority have admitted to being sexually attracted to other women. And a significant minority have actually had lesbian encounters.

Likewise in reverse, by happenstance I have known well dozens of lesbians in my life. The majority of them have spent some time toiling in the fields of heterosexuality. A typical example: I know a woman who dated only guys throughout high school and college, and then married her college boyfriend. Then she got divorced, and for years was in lesbian relationships. Then she met a guy she totally fell in love with and was with him for a few years. She would have married him, but he dumped her. Then she went back to being a lesbian. Then she met and fell in love with a woman who was becoming a transexual -- hormone therapy, breast removal. This woman had a vagina, but otherwise looked exactly like a guy. If you met him, you would have believed he was male. So what was this woman's sexual orientation? Obviously, "all of the above."

Even with women who are self-described lesbians their whole lives, they usually cross the street once in a while. I had a 3-4 month affair with a lesbian. The whole time, she kept her girlfriend (in fact, she would call her gf on the phone after we had sex and tell her about it; uh, gee thanks). She was very much a lesbian; if you met her, you would immediately spot her as gay. But she loved to be fucked, loved getting fist fucked, and especially loved taking it in the ass. (But she would never ever suck dick. Go figure!) But she was a lesbian.

A lot of the strippers I've met purport to be bisexual or to have had bisexual experiences. Just think of our old friend wondergrl. I don't think strippers are more likely to be bisexual; I just think they are more likely to be open about their sexuality (duh!).

So, the short answer is yes, lesbians can sleep with guys sometimes; straight women sometimes sleep with women; and generally female sexuality is much more fluid than male sexuality.
avatar for Book Guy
Book Guy
17 years ago
People hung up on labels. Can a street legal car get ticketed? Can a diet cola have calories? Can a perfect Sunday have rain?

Who the fuck cares? Will she fuck YOU?
avatar for zorro
zorro
17 years ago
I'm missing something here. After all that description, you ask "Would you go for it?". Based on your long history of wanting to fuck strippers, my question to you is "Why wouldn't YOU go for it?" She has agreed to go to dinner and take a bath with you (sorry, am now getting creeped out by a visual...*shiver*...ok, I'm back). What are you afraid of? That she will go psycho lesbo on you and cut off your dick?
avatar for njscfan
njscfan
17 years ago
Oh, c'mon you know the point of this post. He's just hoping we'll slap him on back and say, "yeah, Shadowcat, go for it. Fuck her! You lucky old dog!" That's pretty much the point of all of his posts.
avatar for mmdv26
mmdv26
17 years ago
I know a girl (not a dancer)who says she knew when she reached puberty that she was not really that attracted to boys. But tremendously enjoyed seeing girls naked in the locker room during gym class. She got into a heavy petting session with a guy during her senior year in high school in order to see if there was something wrong with her; didn't enjoy the hard salami, and has never had sex with a male. She is late 30's, attractive (I find her very sensual) and in a 10 year relationship with a much more "butch" looking woman. Says as soon as they legalize same gender marriage in this state, they will be there to tie the knot. She is lesbian in the purest sense. I doubt that she will ever fuck me, but I wonder....

SC, get after your bisexual dancer buddy before she changes her mind again! And don't do bubble bath in the Jacuzzi.
avatar for ozymandias
ozymandias
17 years ago
I just have to say that it's pretty clever for a dancer to invent a story that she's a "lesbian", then use that context to set up the comment "I need dick", absolutely assuring that her customer is going to get very interested in the idea of "reforming" her.

$$$

New twist on an old game, though.

O.
avatar for Dudester
Dudester
17 years ago
The pity here is that it's shadowcat who has discovered this lesbian who is straddling the fence. She's probably just considered whether the risk of OTC is worth it.

I have made a lesbian reconsider. Lesbians really like oral sex, and lots of foreplay (actually foreplay begins with hello, not when the clothes come off). The bad part is that lesbians carry a whole trainload of emotional baggage. Making a lesbian reconsider is like old Star Trek when Captain Kirk would out logic a computer and the computer would begin to smoke and repeat the same phrase over and over. Pretty much, the same thing happens.

"Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a drama critic."
avatar for BobbyI
BobbyI
17 years ago
I don't know about this. She has been a lesbian for six years. But now wants men again and is contemplating making a customer her first "coming back". Sounds like some serious BS here. Kinda funny it's so silly, actually.
avatar for parodyman-->
parodyman-->
17 years ago
It is all about seperating an old fool from his money. You can't tell me that a lesbian would decide to go straight and have ShadowOfAMan be the guy she picks. The sad thing is he wants so badly to believe she is attracted to him.
avatar for Shekitout
Shekitout
17 years ago
Hey parodyman: You need to use spell check like Shadowcat does although surprisingly enough no errors in his latest post-maybe he's started using spellcheck. Nobody it seems can tell you shit but I can tell by your postings you are a piece of shit!
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
17 years ago
OK. I expected to get flamed. I post a lot of topics on here just to keep the interest going. If you don't like what I post, you don't have to read it. That is what the ignore button is for. Of course my topics are about me. What else do I know about. Judging from the amount of PM's, emails, and meeting up with other TUSCLers (3 in my last trip)I know that some people like me and believe in me.

CasualGuy, I don't know why she got divorced. She said that he was a sex pervert. I spent 6 hours with her yesterday ITC. This was not our first meeting. I have known her for almost a year. Whenever I have run into her she has captured me for my entire visit. I normally will get dances from all of my favorites that I run into but when I meet up with her, the rest get shut out. StripShopper spent several hours with us. He was asking her very personal questions. "were you abused as a child" etc. She did not hesitate to answere all of his questions. He asked for a lap dance. She said that he had to get my permission first. He didn't ask me. I asked her if there were other customers that she wanted to spend some time with (make money). She said "NO, not as long as you are here."
I spent around $200 on her buying dances and drinks. Not bad for 6 hours. The only thing she asked for was a few cigarettes and she paid the price. A kiss. Will it happen? Who knows but she is at the top of my favorites list.

FLAME ON...
avatar for lopaw
lopaw
17 years ago
I love how you men tout how well you know what lesbians are like. It's quite a hoot to read. Some of you are very accurate (njscfan)- but others -"lesbians carry a whole trainload of emotional baggage" - WTF is THAT????

Here it is from a REAL lesbian, shadowcat - your dancer friend is not a lesbian. Never was. She is bi. Go for it if you want to.
avatar for Dudester
Dudester
17 years ago
lopaw-how is that you ask?

From sharing a house with two lesbians for three months.

From managing a workplace with a clique of lesbians. It's actually amusing to see the emotional warfare that goes on.
avatar for minnow
minnow
17 years ago
Somehow, I sense another "Erotic Adventures of Shadowcat" thread coming soon to Tuscl neighborhood.
avatar for njscfan
njscfan
17 years ago
Dudester's comments about his evidence that lesbians carry a trainload of emotional baggage is amusing. I guess lopaw could say all straight men carry trainloads of emotional baggage. How does she know this? Because she's on this site called tuscl where the posters are almost all straight men, and they are all fucked up in 50 different ways.
avatar for lopaw
lopaw
17 years ago
Dudester - while I'm sure that you were probably subjected to an interesting display of lesbian behavior, it is a rather small sample base to draw such a blanket conclusion about the entire lesbian population. While we certainly do have our share of nut jobs & drama queens, I believe it is no more or less than the general populace.

njscfan - I couldn't have said it better myself. From reading some of the posts here on TUSCL, some of you guys need a skycap for all of the baggage you're carrying around. And in spite of that (or is it because of it?) this site is usually amusing as hell.
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
17 years ago
lowpaw: A while back you made mention that it had been a long time since you had "jumped the fence" But since you did it, does that also make you BI and not lesbian?
avatar for lopaw
lopaw
17 years ago
SC- While I hate to admit it, you have a good point. I identify as lesbian since 99% of my sexual feelings are for women. But there are a very small number of men that I might consider fuck-worthy, under the right circumstances. I suppose that technically makes me bi, but I choose to identify as lesbian. Only a woman who either has never had dick or tried it once, hated it, and never had it again can be called a true lesbian.

It sounds like your dancer friend has jumped back & forth for large pockets of time with both sexes, so that makes her seem much more bi than gay. And the fact that she calls her lesbian relationship a "mistake" further indicates that she's not a lesbian.
avatar for njscfan
njscfan
17 years ago
I have known women who, just like lopaw, identify themselves as lesbians, but nonetheless occasionally have sex with men. In my view, this is no different than the women I know who identify themselves as straight, but sometimes have sex with women. Personally, I do not have a problem letting women (or men) identify themselves as they wish. So if a woman wants to say she's a lesbian, even though once in while she has sex with men, that's fine with me. But I think both examples show women's sexuality is much more fluid than men's. I think you would find very few men who call themselves straight who once and a while have sex with guys.
avatar for StripShopper
StripShopper
17 years ago
Sorry, I'm late to the thread.... But I will say Shadowcat did find a really nice local girl to the club! Not only that but when I tried to move in on her when he went to the car...She rejected my advances and stated her loyalty to Shadowcat. Not bad Old Man!!!

Would I do her...without a doubt...she was very open sexually about her life experiences. I'd consider her out of the norm in personality,...she actually had one...she definitely falls in the 1 percent club.

Her looks were real...no boob job...just real and big tits. Red head with the traditional pale white skin. Tall, with just a little baby fat.

When I asked her what her dances were like, she replied with Pride: "Just to the point of being illegal!" And attention getting enough that the other dancers have threatened to kick her Ass...

I can vouch for Shadowcat...he's paid his dues at this club enough that every recommendation that I get from him...has paid off. And he's the only guy I see consistently surrounded by strippers...6 during this visit.

I actually didn't know she was Bi - Now I wish I would have stayed a little longer to keep talking to her. I like diving into the personal lives of strippers...its a great way to determine if they're a scammer or not...and she seemed quite genuine.

I've only had the opportunity of pulling 3 strippers out of a club during my entire life time....so I know it's possible and I didn't see Shadowcat tossing money about like a high roller either. Maybe, he's due...Good Luck! And next time give her permission...Dammit, I want an almost illegal dance!!!




avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
17 years ago
StripShopper: You didn't ask me. I always share with my buddies. No room for jealousy in a strip club. I would have said that it is up to her. My guess is that she would have told you the same thing that she did when you hit on her while I was in the parking lot. Now when I am not in the club, you have a better shot. You know that I know a lot of dancers there. She knows that I am not looking for an SO or to get TOO personally involved in her private life. I love FUCK BUDDIES and I think that in her awaking to the normal life style, I got a shot at it. At least until she finds some young dude. Hopefully one of the good guys because I think that she deserves it. There will always be another stripper for me. Just do me one favor, buddy. Keep her name under your hat. I consider her to be my private stock.
avatar for StripShopper
StripShopper
16 years ago
Shadowcat... Don't worry about the name dropping. PM me with your results... Good luck.

avatar for gk
gk
16 years ago
Most (no all) of the "lesbian" dancers I've met are really bi and don't qualify for the other label. Therefore they shift gears rather easily. Don't take too much credit for the inevitable, Shadowcat!
avatar for FONDL
FONDL
16 years ago
I'm sure I'm in the minority here (no pun intended) but I think all people - men and women - are born bisexual. We're taught to have preferences. And our chemistry (eg. testosterone) usually also pushes us in one direction or the other as well, more so for some of us than for others. It's simply more socially acceptable in our society for women to experiment with their own sex than it is for men, so they are much more likely to do so. That's especially true of strippers, especially when there are drugs around. My ATF today is what we would all consider very straight, but when she was a stripper she had lived with a girlfriend for awhile and admits to having sex. Whenever the subject comes up she blames it on drugs, but I doubt if that's the whole story.
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