am I getting finessed?

avatar for ring
ring
hit it off with this one dancer and dropped $x on her (VIP 1hr30min) about 2-3 weeks ago. I remember that night... lap dances were high mileage and topless w/ some stick-shifting and a bunch of dirty talk

have been frequenting the club (3-4x more) and basically only seeing her but also only doing dances, for a total of, let's say, 1/10th of $x. we have flirty texts and have gotten to know each other better (she's super chill), too. but, the last ~15 lap dances have been literally top on. good grind, but that's it. this girl is crazy if she thinks imma keep dropping $100/week for anything less than medium mileage topless lap dances.

two questions here:

(1) is she purposely holding off on showing tits to try to entice me to do another VIP splurge with her? What do I look like, in her eyes, coming in and whaling by dropping $x but then doing $x/10 the next 5 visits?

(2) if she is being manipulative (or just good at her job?), then, what do I do? next time I go on, just run off with another dancer? ignore her a bit? what are thoughts about being sort of glued to one dancer at your home club???

(2) part of me thinks she'd be down for OTC. how / when do I ask?

cheers,
ring

36 comments

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avatar for ring
ring
a month ago
tldr cf stopped showing titties and im fed up lol
avatar for jaybud999
jaybud999
a month ago
“Am I getting finessed?” = yes

1) yes, and you look like a debit card that has not reached its limit.

2). Move on, if she wants to work with you again…..she’ll re engage and you can tell her tactfully that you expect tits, and she’ll tell you what she needs for that.


avatar for shailynn
shailynn
a month ago
She’s not going to see you otc
avatar for K
K
a month ago
ask her to bring her tits out? she either will or she will tell you what it will take.

"part of me thinks she'd be down for OTC. how / when do I ask?" - now and "i'd want to meet up for (a date, BJ, over night, whatever it is you want)" make sure you specify what you want, be prepared with a number you feel comfortable with. Have an actual plan.
avatar for grrlgonebad
grrlgonebad
a month ago
just my opinion... but she is going about it all wrong... this is poor "strippercraft"... (if there are no other reasons the dancer is opting out of dancing for you)

TLDR: move on

>this girl is crazy if she thinks imma keep dropping $100/week for anything less than medium mileage topless lap dances.

There are plenty of ways to encourage a customer to spend more.... denying the fundamentals of a... strip... club... is not one of them.

not saying you are... but if you have a repeat guy who you know has a good grip on his wallet... a progressive sell works... you tell the customer you will "sell" him your top for $20... then get him into the idea it is an "auction"... $50 for the bottoms... and so on... I've got $100... and you have a good dance...

I mean, there are so many many ways to do this... but it doesn't sound like you are being tight... it is just that she wants something... maybe ask her what that is...

My advice for the future... don't encourage this by doing 15 dances before say or do something... if she didn't get any pushback from you in that many dances... she thinks it is okay...

Personally, I would get so bored doing 15 bikini dances... but we are all different...
avatar for drewcareypnw
drewcareypnw
a month ago
It seems like you reduced the price paid and she reduced the service provided. The solution should be obvious. The best way to find out about otc is to ask.
avatar for wallanon
wallanon
a month ago
"The best way to find out about otc is to ask."

Yeah. This is the obvious answer and what I was going to type. If you're ready to move on may as well just put that on in the table to see if it changes things.
avatar for TCabot
TCabot
a month ago
Plenty of other dancers in the club….pick a new one.
avatar for Rightfield
Rightfield
a month ago
It's a strip club. If I have to negotiate to get the top off, I am one and done.
avatar for Icey
Icey
a month ago
Shes doing what she needs to. To get your money. Theres no vested interest for her to do more when she doesnt have to.

Whatever you want from her. Just be direct and ask if shes open to the financial interaction. Whether she says yes or no. Theyre used to hearing it.
avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
a month ago
I guess by "finesse" you mean, she's making you ask her to take her top off as a negotiating tactic. Rather than simply telling you what she wants from you in order to do it. Probably correct. Unless her boyfriend gave her titty hickeys, and she doesn't want them seen.

Somehow, when women are selling sex, we go all snowflake about it. If a cheeseburger costs more than a plain hamburger, we don't feel the need to call that manipulative. But, I would not bother with a dancer/club just for grinding. As I would not go to McDonald's to just buy a bun. But, if her bun is really that tasty to you, nobody can tell you you're wrong.

With OTC, there was only one case where I had to do the asking, and I wasn't sure she'd say yes (she did). They either did the asking, or dropped some 16 ton hints that they were up for it.
avatar for drewcareypnw
drewcareypnw
a month ago
@rightfield is right on though, fuck that if the top isn't even coming off.
avatar for gSteph
gSteph
a month ago
No top off . . ? . . ?
Does not compute 🤔
avatar for Dolfan
Dolfan
a month ago
For me, if the top stays on, the money stays in my pocket.
avatar for sfrsox
sfrsox
a month ago
How much is “$x” in words?

May have been posted but I have no time today every post/reply
avatar for sfrsox
sfrsox
a month ago
100% agre, Dolphan
avatar for ring
ring
a month ago
$x is somewhere in the ballpark of $1.5k.

Yeah, i agree w/ y’all. Will try to show out with another dancer next time instead of this chick.

Will have to ask about OTC soon if vibe is right or at the very least be direct and tell her I haven’t been “enjoying” the lap dances as much.. feel like she’s holding off.

Idk why strippers complicate this shit smh. You all are right: it’s a club I expect to some yiddies, esp. given we have a cool vibe goin
avatar for ring
ring
a month ago
@drewcareypnw 100% man. "the solution should be obvious" --> spend more $ or get intentionally caught splurging on another dancer?
avatar for captainfun
captainfun
a month ago
$1.5k? How. Why so much. For 90 mins in VIP?

I only scanned the thread and other replies but seeing this amount I’m guessing she’s holding out for you to blow that kind of coin again.
avatar for Dolfan
Dolfan
a month ago
Sorry, but $x and $$$ and similar shit is dumb as fuck.
avatar for GoVikings
GoVikings
a month ago
^ lol tell us how you really feel Dolfan
avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive
a month ago
That’s stupid money
avatar for ring
ring
a month ago
chill dolfan not tryna dump every detail online lol. yea @captinfun idk its a non-extras club (I think?) so, while I had fun, I think I could've used that in a smarter way
avatar for gammanu95
gammanu95
a month ago
Did I miss something? Did the OP even ask why the top is staying on? Maybe she had some weird-ass rosacea or acne breakout. Maybe she had surgery - a lift, nipple cosmetics, something related to a medical condition, etc. You are asking a bunch of guys who know less about the situation than you do to just spitball shit in the dark while blindfolded. I will say this, if the top stays on during any dance - table, lap, etc.- I don't buy another. I usually won't even buy a dance if the top stays on when I tip at the stage.
avatar for ring
ring
a month ago
nah I haven’t asked. yea, smh
avatar for captainfun
captainfun
a month ago
Oh I see the club now. Been there several times. I like that club and have had fun but have never tried the VIP rooms and likely never would at those prices. Not sure what one could do in VIP. It’s not known for extras but I would think it’s highly variable depending on the girl
avatar for caseyx
caseyx
a month ago
"Idk why strippers complicate this shit smh." You're the one complicating it IMO. Be upfront about what you want and what you're willing to pay for it. If she isn't willing to meet that then move on to the next. Same advice if we're talking lap dances, ITC or OTC.
avatar for ring
ring
a month ago
fair enough
avatar for wallanon
wallanon
a month ago
"chill dolfan not tryna dump every detail online lol."

When new people (or new accounts) arrive at TUSCL asking questions, clear details help. You dropped a lot of coin to not get that much in return, but Chicago clubs don't have a great reputation for mileage overall. That doesn't mean you can't find it, because I usually club in a town people say isn't great for mileage and can tell you they're wrong lol.

But anyhow, if you dropped over a grand on a dancer the first time she saw you then she's wondering when you're doing that again or maybe downgrading you because you can't bring that every time. If you're still getting responses to your texts and time with her ITC you're doing ok. Just clear up the whole topless situation if it's bothering you.

And...again ask about OTC if it's something you want.
avatar for sfrsox
sfrsox
a month ago
San Antonio has a low mile rep?
avatar for Manuellabore
Manuellabore
a month ago
There's a "ratchet" issue here. If you have paid a dancer $1.5K for no action, then that dancer is going to expect > $1.5K for a FS OTC meetup. You priced yourself out of the market with this one. Start fresh with some new prospects. If you've been spending $150/throw with this one for 15 bikini dance sessions, you can gather a lot of intel with a variety of women with that kind of money, and hopefully set the stage for an OTC encounter at a more reasonable rate. Deal with the situation in a businesslike fashion. That's what she did.
avatar for wallanon
wallanon
a month ago
He might be able to talk her down. But he didn't set himself up for success, that's for sure.
avatar for Beantowner
Beantowner
a month ago
Dang, I feel for you on this one but it’s your own fault for not making it clear what you wanted right away. If you don’t say anything and she thinks you’re cool with the current setup, why would she do any different? OTC is not impossible here but I think it’s a drastic leap from where you are now considering you’re not even getting a topless dance. It doesn’t hurt to try though.. the worst that happens is you stop getting LDs from a chick that’s taking you to the cleaners.
avatar for ring
ring
a month ago
ye I think I just want to like frequent every 2 weeks to come in, relax, unwind, and get 3-4 decent lap dances, maybe from a few diff dancers. somewhere between $4-500 / month on clubbing. idk. OTC would be a dream and I'd shell out 1k for it but wouldn't really have an interest, nor bankroll, to regularly pay for fake intimacy. not going in for a while but yeah when I do again, def gonna check out some other dancers & bring up the topless part if nothing changes. thanks @wallanon for the sage advice and others. I don't mind getting hustled and I know, with 98% probability, its all a fantasy / transactional, but yeah I do mind not getting fair value or being outwitted
avatar for dogchain
dogchain
a month ago
Something similar happened to me with this one girl. She was amazing then started giving lame dances and expecting me to get one every. What I did that worked well is next time she came up and asked to dance I said no and waited for her to ask why. When she did I let her know up front that I thought she was sandbagging the dances. She apologized and the dances went to as good as they ever were if not better.

As far as OTC is concerned just ask. If you get a no or a wishy washy answer it is no. If she says yes it still might be no lol
avatar for Owlyoung_ggofv
Owlyoung_ggofv
a month ago
Here's what I'm currently learning after years of dealing with different strippers. If she already has either said and/or implied that she will not do more (or do it for an exorbitant price) then move on. If she implies that I will only do X activity (X being things that strippers are supposed to do anyway for their client) if you tip Y amount of money, then move on.

And if you have to explicitly say you her in your lap, and she says she doesn't do it or that it cost Y more. Then enjoy the time you paid for, and definitely move on.

We need to stop giving these dancers easy money for doing the bare minimum. Most of the time this happened to me it was because I was new to the club. Now I know going in to ask for what I want upfront. The others are encouraging you to do the same thing.
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