am I getting finessed?

tldr cf stopped showing titties and im fed up lol

“Am I getting finessed?” = yes

1. yes, and you look like a debit card that has not reached its limit.

2). Move on, if she wants to work with you again…..she’ll re engage and you can tell her tactfully that you expect tits, and she’ll tell you what she needs for that.

She’s not going to see you otc

ask her to bring her tits out? she either will or she will tell you what it will take.

"part of me thinks she'd be down for OTC. how / when do I ask?" - now and "i'd want to meet up for (a date, BJ, over night, whatever it is you want)" make sure you specify what you want, be prepared with a number you feel comfortable with. Have an actual plan.

just my opinion... but she is going about it all wrong... this is poor "strippercraft"... (if there are no other reasons the dancer is opting out of dancing for you)

TLDR: move on

this girl is crazy if she thinks imma keep dropping $100/week for anything less than medium mileage topless lap dances.

There are plenty of ways to encourage a customer to spend more.... denying the fundamentals of a... strip... club... is not one of them.

not saying you are... but if you have a repeat guy who you know has a good grip on his wallet... a progressive sell works... you tell the customer you will "sell" him your top for $20... then get him into the idea it is an "auction"... $50 for the bottoms... and so on... I've got $100... and you have a good dance...

I mean, there are so many many ways to do this... but it doesn't sound like you are being tight... it is just that she wants something... maybe ask her what that is...

My advice for the future... don't encourage this by doing 15 dances before say or do something... if she didn't get any pushback from you in that many dances... she thinks it is okay...

Personally, I would get so bored doing 15 bikini dances... but we are all different...

It seems like you reduced the price paid and she reduced the service provided. The solution should be obvious. The best way to find out about otc is to ask.

"The best way to find out about otc is to ask."

Yeah. This is the obvious answer and what I was going to type. If you're ready to move on may as well just put that on in the table to see if it changes things.

It's a strip club. If I have to negotiate to get the top off, I am one and done.

I guess by "finesse" you mean, she's making you ask her to take her top off as a negotiating tactic. Rather than simply telling you what she wants from you in order to do it. Probably correct. Unless her boyfriend gave her titty hickeys, and she doesn't want them seen.

Somehow, when women are selling sex, we go all snowflake about it. If a cheeseburger costs more than a plain hamburger, we don't feel the need to call that manipulative. But, I would not bother with a dancer/club just for grinding. As I would not go to McDonald's to just buy a bun. But, if her bun is really that tasty to you, nobody can tell you you're wrong.

With OTC, there was only one case where I had to do the asking, and I wasn't sure she'd say yes (she did). They either did the asking, or dropped some 16 ton hints that they were up for it.

@rightfield is right on though, fuck that if the top isn't even coming off.

No top off . . ? . . ? Does not compute 🤔

For me, if the top stays on, the money stays in my pocket.

How much is “$x” in words?

May have been posted but I have no time today every post/reply

100% agre, Dolphan

$x is somewhere in the ballpark of $1.5k.

Yeah, i agree w/ y’all. Will try to show out with another dancer next time instead of this chick.

Will have to ask about OTC soon if vibe is right or at the very least be direct and tell her I haven’t been “enjoying” the lap dances as much.. feel like she’s holding off.

Idk why strippers complicate this shit smh. You all are right: it’s a club I expect to some yiddies, esp. given we have a cool vibe goin

@drewcareypnw 100% man. "the solution should be obvious" --> spend more $ or get intentionally caught splurging on another dancer?

$1.5k? How. Why so much. For 90 mins in VIP?

I only scanned the thread and other replies but seeing this amount I’m guessing she’s holding out for you to blow that kind of coin again.

Sorry, but $x and $$$ and similar shit is dumb as fuck.

^ lol tell us how you really feel Dolfan

That’s stupid money

chill dolfan not tryna dump every detail online lol. yea @captinfun idk its a non-extras club (I think?) so, while I had fun, I think I could've used that in a smarter way

Did I miss something? Did the OP even ask why the top is staying on? Maybe she had some weird-ass rosacea or acne breakout. Maybe she had surgery - a lift, nipple cosmetics, something related to a medical condition, etc. You are asking a bunch of guys who know less about the situation than you do to just spitball shit in the dark while blindfolded. I will say this, if the top stays on during any dance - table, lap, etc.- I don't buy another. I usually won't even buy a dance if the top stays on when I tip at the stage.

nah I haven’t asked. yea, smh

Oh I see the club now. Been there several times. I like that club and have had fun but have never tried the VIP rooms and likely never would at those prices. Not sure what one could do in VIP. It’s not known for extras but I would think it’s highly variable depending on the girl

"Idk why strippers complicate this shit smh." You're the one complicating it IMO. Be upfront about what you want and what you're willing to pay for it. If she isn't willing to meet that then move on to the next. Same advice if we're talking lap dances, ITC or OTC.

fair enough

"chill dolfan not tryna dump every detail online lol."

When new people (or new accounts) arrive at TUSCL asking questions, clear details help. You dropped a lot of coin to not get that much in return, but Chicago clubs don't have a great reputation for mileage overall. That doesn't mean you can't find it, because I usually club in a town people say isn't great for mileage and can tell you they're wrong lol.

But anyhow, if you dropped over a grand on a dancer the first time she saw you then she's wondering when you're doing that again or maybe downgrading you because you can't bring that every time. If you're still getting responses to your texts and time with her ITC you're doing ok. Just clear up the whole topless situation if it's bothering you.

And...again ask about OTC if it's something you want.

San Antonio has a low mile rep?

There's a "ratchet" issue here. If you have paid a dancer $1.5K for no action, then that dancer is going to expect > $1.5K for a FS OTC meetup. You priced yourself out of the market with this one. Start fresh with some new prospects. If you've been spending $150/throw with this one for 15 bikini dance sessions, you can gather a lot of intel with a variety of women with that kind of money, and hopefully set the stage for an OTC encounter at a more reasonable rate. Deal with the situation in a businesslike fashion. That's what she did.

He might be able to talk her down. But he didn't set himself up for success, that's for sure.

Dang, I feel for you on this one but it’s your own fault for not making it clear what you wanted right away. If you don’t say anything and she thinks you’re cool with the current setup, why would she do any different? OTC is not impossible here but I think it’s a drastic leap from where you are now considering you’re not even getting a topless dance. It doesn’t hurt to try though.. the worst that happens is you stop getting LDs from a chick that’s taking you to the cleaners.

ye I think I just want to like frequent every 2 weeks to come in, relax, unwind, and get 3-4 decent lap dances, maybe from a few diff dancers. somewhere between $4-500 / month on clubbing. idk. OTC would be a dream and I'd shell out 1k for it but wouldn't really have an interest, nor bankroll, to regularly pay for fake intimacy. not going in for a while but yeah when I do again, def gonna check out some other dancers & bring up the topless part if nothing changes. thanks @wallanon for the sage advice and others. I don't mind getting hustled and I know, with 98% probability, its all a fantasy / transactional, but yeah I do mind not getting fair value or being outwitted

Something similar happened to me with this one girl. She was amazing then started giving lame dances and expecting me to get one every. What I did that worked well is next time she came up and asked to dance I said no and waited for her to ask why. When she did I let her know up front that I thought she was sandbagging the dances. She apologized and the dances went to as good as they ever were if not better.

As far as OTC is concerned just ask. If you get a no or a wishy washy answer it is no. If she says yes it still might be no lol

Here's what I'm currently learning after years of dealing with different strippers. If she already has either said and/or implied that she will not do more (or do it for an exorbitant price) then move on. If she implies that I will only do X activity (X being things that strippers are supposed to do anyway for their client) if you tip Y amount of money, then move on.

And if you have to explicitly say you her in your lap, and she says she doesn't do it or that it cost Y more. Then enjoy the time you paid for, and definitely move on.

We need to stop giving these dancers easy money for doing the bare minimum. Most of the time this happened to me it was because I was new to the club. Now I know going in to ask for what I want upfront. The others are encouraging you to do the same thing.