I have a hard time cumming from a blowjob. Meaning that I almost never come from a blowjob. There are the extremely rare Black Swan events where there is some inscrutable combination of circumstances that cause me to gently stroke/tap my honey of the moment on the shoulder in what is apparently the universal signal that “I’m gonna blow, honey” (if no condom is in involved) or “Time to fuck, honey” (if there is). But, usually, if it goes on too long, I just get bored and distracted.
So, why should it go on too long? I was ruminating on this quite recently. I decided to check in on a new acquaintance who, upon our first meeting, made it clear to me that she had a remarkably broad menu. I didn’t/couldn’t partake fully upon our first meeting, because my old ass had sex within a couple hours before that first, “meet cute” encounter.
So for meeting number two, I made sure that everything was shipshape, and I’d had the requisite period of abstinence for reliable performance. I had a narrow time frame in which to make something happen, so I asked the bartender to track her down (and damned if I didn’t forget to tip her for that service—I’ll take care of her next time).
Off to VIP we go, with minimal conversation, but a reasonable amount of groping and making out, and then she says: “I can’ fock you becaw I ha’ no cawndawm” (That’s phonetic, btw). There’s quite a language barrier and I have trouble hearing well in SCs generally but I surmise that her explanation for not having a condom was most likely that she had run out of condoms. She’s a dayshift girl and I showed up in early evening.
So she says she’ll do CIM. How can I say no without seeming rude? After a while, I got bored and distracted and fixated on how I almost never come from a blowjob. Prototypical self-fulfilling prophesy.
We figured it out: I sometimes wonder “Why on earth would I ever want a handjob?”. I have a finite number of orgasms left in my body, and I don’t want to squander them on any that don’t involve ejaculation into a woman’s bodily orifice. Welp, here was that Black Swan event. BTW, a HJ goes down better if you slather on condiments like simultaneous DFK’ing and FIV’ing.
Next time, I’ll come equipped and avoid the issue
This is like the scene in a movie where a dude is already beaten to a pulp but wants to keep fighting and the other guy walks away. Would it even be fun to troll this?
"Next time, I’ll come equipped and avoid the issue"
Maybe it's passé to always carry a rubber, but fuck it I'd rather have a lonely rubber than blue balls (or a miracle handjob). I'll let some hot strippers rub one out just to see if they offer something better for next time...but wouldn't pay for that.