Why are strippers with these guys?

I had a fav, who had a friend I'd also occasionally get dances from. My fav said her friend was waiting for the man she was with to get arrested, so she could break up with him without the risk of being killed. That's one fairly common situation. Sometimes it's just a case where that's what the person's parents were like. One parent a leech, the other enabling. The children of the leech's gender become leeches. The children of the other gender see it as somehow noble to enable a leech.

Thats common for almost any sex worker boyfriend- unless its a pornstar or onlyfans couple whom are both banging people on camera

They are in sex work because they need money, either for luxury spending, kids, sending money back home, or in some cases basic living expenses

The guy is often loyal to them and also babysits the kids

The personal lives of some of these girls leaves a lot to be desired.....

Someone once told me (a woman) that certain women pick men like that because they think they can change them. Like the men are a project.

That’s just a bad philosophy. For me, when I was college I met 3 girls that I could see myself marrying all close to the same time. I dated all 3 and they are were equally attractive. I chose the least crazy of the 3. Today I’m still married, those other two are divorced and have never remarried. Gotta hand it to all 3, they all have aged remarkably well.

Back in the day, I went to a lot of stripper parties with my SO. 75% of them are bum magnets. They sit home all day playing video games and rarely if ever work. Some girls just attract opportunistic bums

Why? It’s just a different world than what I know, so I’ll never try to understand. I just wish the college educated, upper middle class girls from good families in my world looked and fucked like strippers.

@ilbbaicnl - I hear you on not connecting with girls who (often repeatedly) are partnered with bums. There's a new girl in one of my clubs who moved in from LA recently - tall, slender, naturally-breasted, and gorgeous, without overwhelming tats. BUT - she has two kids under 3yrs from two baby daddies, the second of whom still hangs at her apartment, and (I think) is abusive, plus fucks other girls while she's gone. Sometimes out in the hallway when she's there.

Absolutely heart-breaking, and confusing w/regard to her appeal. I'm mean, physically and interpersonally she's a prize. But, she keeps giving it all away to loser bums. Which, to your point, makes me tend to steer clear of any involvement with her beyond the occasional LD.

I think women, especially attractive women, have a steady stream of guys coming on to them. So, they don't think about it too much. They go with whoever makes it easiest. The women don't analyze whether the man is useful, or worthless.

My father called the deadbeat guys "drones" like in a colony of honeybees. All they contribute is the fact they are around and fuck sometimes.

Also, I see in my own family the women tend to resent the fathers that were good providers due to some of their strong personalities. So they pick the guys that don't have those traits, and guess what? Those guys are fucking useless. Sometimes they get pregnant by a one night stand, and can't figure out why the baby daddy won't step up like the men she saw in her own family, and took for granted. So the woman goes on to raise a kid alone, and the guy ends up in prison for other issues. Two of my nieces lived this exact scenario.

1. many strippers have low self-esteem, and they seek partners (bums, rapper wanna-bes, roadies) because it makes them feel superior to them.
2. I was at Goldrush abot 10 years ago and two of the dancers that were there had their boyfriends hanging out. As soon as the girls made money off their customers, they'd bring it to the loser boyfriends to spend on other dancers.

Right now, your SOs may be telling their friends the worst thing is that you think they're too dumb to know what you're up to. And the friend is saying, why are you with that bum, have you got low self-esteem or something?
One of my favs and her (working) BF were buying a house, but they were short on the down payment. So, the BF calls his bud from high school, who's wife is a pharmaceutical sales rep, and the bud gets her to loan them the money. Does that mean the wife had low self-esteem? I think it really means the US has low self-esteem, since it lets pharmaceutical sales reps have enough mad money to loan to their husband's bud from high school, while there are people without health insurance.
People do dumb shit, and strippers are people, so they do dumb shit. It don't think there's good data to be convinced they are particularly likely to be dumb. It hurts our egos that they do for free for other men what they charge us for. So we compensate by convincing ourselves we have reasons to look down on them.

Some young women like to have drama and excitement in their life and the bad boy type provides that. Quite often these girls will change as they get older and will start to show more interest in the steady and dependable nice guy nerd type. I work in accounting and am that type. I got more attention from females when I was forty than when I was twenty. Now I am seventy and an occasional trip to the strip club is enough female company for me.

Extreme case of Nice Guys Don't Get Laid. ( a book i bought 30 years ago) Girls like the bad boy, not the guy in the HS band. He's the worst bad boy she can find. a cat chases a string that moves... not that just stands there.

My current fav's SO works construction and is self-employed. He had a nice house in a good area on a good sized lot, from before she moved in with him. She doesn't always reign in her bratty side that well. I'd guess he's nicer to her than she is to him. He's older, but by less than 10 years. They're both Cuban, so used to doing what you gotta do, without wallowing in self-pity. The guys don't wallow in resentment, that their SO needs to do sex work to support family in the old country.

How do I get a woman like this?

Look at it from our perspective. We work hard, in good jobs, making good money. We spend it on dancers, but most of us know better than to marry a stripper or run around trying to be Captain Savaho. I think most of us are pretty much the opposite of the type who would date a stripper. Strippers have a smaller dating pool of men available to them, and many of those men would be rejected by educated women in other professions.

Obviously, there are exceptions to every generalization. Many strippers are intelligent, well-educated ladies who do not perform anything more intimate than lap dances, and seek intelligent, well-educated men while keeping themselves clean and drug-free. Many educated and successful men actively desire and seek out extended relationships with women that would horrify their family and shock their co-workers. While both would be the minority of their cohort, I also believe that there are far more of the former than the latter.

I disagree with a lot of people who say it's dumb to date a stripper. I think a lot of strippers are dateable and good people even though if you were to date, you have to take the L (or W depending if you're that type of guy) where it's literally written into the relationship that she's talking/dancing on other guys.

I think the main problem is however a stripper's life is usually 100% more different from the regular person who has a good job. There is an above 50% chance that they do drugs, they're in debt or they have a kid already that they do not want to admit. A regular person is not going to vibe with that in the long term but someone who's broke, does drugs and related is going to have a better time relating to a stripper.

My head hurts.