Does anyone else hate talking to dancers?

29 comments

• stainglass

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  2 months ago

  PLEASE get off your high horse and think the world revolves around you... You are one in a sea of millions, and so are strippers - They do what they think suits them... You do what you think suits you... There is no right or wrong. Manuever around what happens in the scene, rather than forcing your opinon on what strippers should or shouldn't do... Also, before you ask these questions, do research and write down atleast 10 different reasonably smart solutions, proving you did research, rather than begging... Be a man
• Jascoi

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  2 months ago

  I like talking with ladies...
• Call.Me.Ishmael

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  2 months ago

  Strip clubs are social places, so you should expect to be social there. If you don't want that then get an escort. Or you could go to an AMP; that's the vending machine of sex work. I'm not saying that you have to have a full Oxford debate with a stripper, but doing some chat is a low price to pay. Also, while a great conversation doesn't guarantee a great dance, there are some bad interactions that have made my Spidey sense tingle and saved me money.
• motorhead

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  2 months ago

  It depends. I would talk with my ATF for hours between dances. But it can be awkward for a new girl to just sit down, uninvited, and expect to make conversation like we are some long lost friends.
• PAWG_Patrol

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  2 months ago

  I enjoy a good conversation with a dancer. Usually about 420 or travel. Light topics that can still be interesting. I honestly hate when a dancer, usually with limited English, simply walks up and says "dance?" Guaranteed way to get the brush off from me.
• 59

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  2 months ago

  I too am not particularly fond of a random girl seeking to start a conversation. I often have set up an "appointment", a girl is expecting me. In most cases I've known them for a long time and we'll have a lengthy conversation before and/or after our fun and games. I will admit that some of my faves made the first move and we clicked. Some I probably wouldn't have pursued on my own. Others who have struck up a conversation soon reinforce "nope, not my cup of tea".
• skibum609

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  2 months ago

  I enjoy small talk. I like meeting new people. I get along very well with strangers. I love chatting with the ladies. My last Desires CR was great because we drank, laughed and chatted for an hour and yet never discussed money or performance. We then did an incredibly sexy and satisfying CR. I paid her. It was apparently satisfactory as I got a big hug and a kiss. She then said do you have to go, or would you like to sit and talk for a while? We chatted for an hour, had a couple of drinks and I went home. That took a 9.5 experience and made it a 10.
• rattdog

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  2 months ago

  sounds like you don't like talking to girls period. blow up dolls have come a long way. look it up. they no longer look like the ones from 30 years ago where they had to be inflated and the mouth becomes in place for a suck. mash potatoes and gravy. with your current view of just pay get off and then leave that would be getting mash from kfc. that's when there's just that thin layer of gravy on top. once you skim that off you had your fill that barely satisfies. now if you start talking with the strippers and vibe real well you'll get more gravy. front room make outs and mild extras is like having that bowl of gravy next to them potatoes. and if she feels that you're her favorite then yeah gravy by the costco load, which is one of the best feelings a monger can expiernece in this thing that we do.
• Mr Monger

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  2 months ago

  Yeah sometimes like ion gaf about you or your personal life I just want one thing and one thing only can’t hustle a hustler
• Studme53

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  2 months ago

  Sometimes it’s fine, especially if you know the dancer. A lot of times it tedious if it’s just part of a marketing effort by the dancer who plops down next to you as a matter of course. Someone (manager? House mom?) probably told them they should talk to customers because it’s good for the club’s and dancer’s business. Plus, I’m usually decades older than the dancer so that tends to limits our area of mutual interests. They don’t want to talk about Ancient Rome or WW2. Also, I’ll note I’ve never had a female bartender post up next to me to chat, because there’s no reason for her to do it.
• gammanu95

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  2 months ago

  I try to be respectful of dancers' time. I recognize that talking and spending time with me is an investment, but I do not tip for time. I pay for dances. If a dancer start chatting me up, but I know that I have zero interest in buying dances from her, I will try to send her on her way as quickly as possible. I try to do so politely, but if I perceive that they will block me from meeting dancers I am interested in, then I will be blunt in my rejection by usually saying that I am just there to hang out. Some dancers will lose their shit by a simple, blunt rejection. Some are respectful of my rejection. Sometimes I start out uninterested, but their convo is actually decent enough to earn my respect and my dance money. Sometimes, they are just so stupid and offensively ignorant that even my little head is turned off despite a banging body. At the end of the day, I think most people go to strip clubs for a combination of conviviality and prurient activities. Anyone who only wants to get laid should stick with streetwalkers.
• drewcareypnw

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  2 months ago

  My experience is that dancers try to get a sense of the PL by chatting with them, and If they feel comfortable with the PL they are more likely to feel comfortable lowering the guards and doing more in lda/vip. So it’s worth it to chat with her for a few minutes and convey that you are pleasant, respectful, and reasonably well mannered.
• RonJax2

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  2 months ago

  I enjoy talking to strippers. Not all of them, some are pretty vapid. But I've also met architects, artists, musicians, fashion students, entrepreneurs, and budding real estate moguls. I think there are some pretty interesting ladies that get into this line of work, and if they're good at stripping in general, they're good at the conversation aspect of the game. And for me, a fun and flirty conversation is essential to putting me in the mood for a dance. I will say this to the OP - if you do not enjoy conversation and want to get right down to business with dances, I think most strippers will say you're an ideal customer!
• Hank Moody

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  2 months ago

  The OP admits he’s a shitty communicator. Exhibit number 1 is this post. It’s titled wrong and everything he wrote is irrelevant until the last line “What's a good way to tell a dancer to bug off without being a total dick?” Answer that question, which has been done many times on this board and problem is solved. Really, if you can’t send a dancer on her way efficiently and politely, you’re not a monger. You’re a n00b. I say that after having a girl react badly when I declined her dance offer just two nights ago. Sometimes it does happen, but it shouldn’t be a regular thing if you’re experienced. One other point. If you don’t like to talk to dancers, don’t go during day shift. Go at night when most clubs are more about the quick hustle.
• Evergreen98

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  2 months ago

  Whenever I talk to an attractive dancer, I always ask them how do they select the guys that they approach. You can actually learn a lot from the replies that you get. Also, whenever I buy the dancer a drink, I normally get good VIP dances. I also tell the dancer that there is a high probability that I will be returning to get dances from them soon. Dancers like repeat customers.
• DandyDan

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  2 months ago

  Broadly speaking, no, but certain dancers have been known to test my patience and sense of well being over time. There's also been a fair number who were better at the social aspect of their job than the physical aspect.
• ilbbaicnl

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  2 months ago

  Most clubs have places where you can stand without being in the way, or chairs that are not next to a table. Dancers generally don't approach PLs that are not at a table (unless they know them). Then, you wait for a dancer who looks attractive to you to be unoccupied. You approach her, smile, say hello, and get directly to any questions you need answered in order to decide if you want a dance. I generally do this, and it tends to make me a stripper fav, because of a higher ratio of money made to her time spent. Most dancers don't care if you are not very talkative during a dance. General their main goal with convo is to get the you-to-them cash flow going. From time to time, a dancer and I click convo-wise while doing dances. In those cases, they may ask me for a drink on a slow shift, and we'll sit and blab a bit.
• ilbbaicnl

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  2 months ago

  @Dan it's very common for strippers to have at least some customers who pay them for sitting with them as well as dances (if any) that they get. Also very common for customers to expect a ratio of free, reasonably engaging conversation to dance time bought. The result is that a tamer dancer, who can sense what sort of conversation a PL wants, and provide it, can often make more money than a wilder dancer. One of my fav's had the classic Playboy body, busty but not stocky, toned and healthy looking. But many PLs took a pass on her, because she had high-functioning autism. She couldn't even pretend to be interested to be interested in typical conversation. When you talk about your experiences to someone, you pick the ones that are surprising, funny, scary, etc. But autistic people find it harder to imagine how it would feel emotionally to be in a hypothetical situation. So, bored. I would ask her questions to prompt her to talk about herself, and I found her answers interesting.
• azdd

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  2 months ago

  Interesting discussion. Like others, I like a brief conversation with a dancer but don't want to waste their time or mine. I usually know almost immediately when approached if I have no interest in dances, but have changed my mind on occasion after a nice conversation, so I guess from her perspective it's mission accomplished. I try not to let conversation go longer than one song, then if I'm interested I suggest we move to a better seat in VIP. If not, I thank her for stopping to talk to me but let her know I'm not interested. I know they always hear "I'm waiting for someone", so I don't say that unless it's really true, and I specifically tell them who I'm waiting for so they get a sense of my type. Almost all are gracious about being turned down, and I think all are appreciative of me not burning time with them that isn't gonna end with dances.
• georgmicrodong

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  2 months ago

  I really don't like talking to _anyone_, but most dancers get upset when you just grab 'em by the hair and drag them to a room and fuck them. Weird, I know, but it means that I've had to put up with nonsense mouth noises in order to get what I want. /s I'm not sure how one could expect to go to something like a strip club and have fun without exchanging some pleasantries. Obviously such people exist, but I for one simply cannot imagine the experience without conversation. That part is fun for me too.
• Evergreen98

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  2 months ago

  Whenever I visit a club for the first time, I read enough TUSCL reviews to get the name of a dancer that appears to be wild in the VIP. When dancers stop by to talk to me, I will ask them if their VIP dances are as good as XXXX's dances are. I can normally tell what their VIP dances will be like by the response that I get.
• ilbbaicnl

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  2 months ago

  Few if any strippers want to be grabbed by the hair, at least not a work. (You'd probably end up holding an extension.) But, if you have about as much polite, to-the-point conversation with them as you do with a server in a restaurant, I don't think many would be bothered by that. More important to listen than to talk, especially when they use the word "no".
• nicespice

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  2 months ago

  Maybe one day some strip clubs can take from the Brazilian steakhouse playbook. Get a card and when flipped to the res side, that means don’t approach. Green side means it’s absolutely good to do so. I feel like a lot of customers below a certain age hate socializing unless they have gotten to know a dancer, and the old customers are the opposite.
• PoundKing

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  2 months ago

  The problem is mostly that the PLs are wimps. You are the paying customers, so know what you want and communicate it and get it. It’s no different from getting any other service
• RonJax2

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  2 months ago

  @nicespice > I feel like a lot of customers below a certain age hate socializing This is an interesting observation. Recalling my time as a younger man in strip clubs there was definitely a lot more nervousness involved. Part of that for sure, was money. I had much less of it when I was younger and I was more preoccupied about spending it. Being inexperienced was also a factor. Talking to a beautiful stranger dressed only in her lingerie is something that takes practice.
• rattdog

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  2 months ago

  "When dancers stop by to talk to me, I will ask them if their VIP dances are as good as XXXX's dances are. " this is one of the most stupidest comments i have ever read on this site. why the fuck would you ever utter that reply?
• Evergreen98

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  2 months ago

  rattdog, you have not written a review on this site in 5 years. When the dancer replies that she always brings napkins or lotion to the VIP, and then opens her purse to show me, I know that she is fun.
• rattdog

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  2 months ago

  ^first off my not writing a review for that length of time is irrelevant as to what you posted. but if you and others want to know why i haven't left a review well it's quite simple: the clubs in within my range have shut down permanently and whatever clubs that remained are shit and not worth visiting and reviewing. does anybody here want to help this fella here and advise as to why if asking a girl if her vip's are good as as XXXX, whom i am assuming is a fave or a reliable one in his rotation?
• Dolfan

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  2 months ago

  For me, yes and no. I'm not exactly a social butterfly in general, but hanging out, having a few drinks, and chewing the fat with a stripper is something I find enjoyable. But, I can't deny that some attempts at conversation with strippers are quite painful. There's probably plenty of blame to go around if we go digging into why that is. I patronize strippers I enjoy talking to significantly more than those I do not. OP's comment clearly indicate that other customers don't behave the same. So, it's natural that there will be differing approaches from strippers. I do kinda like nicespice's suggestion of a two sided card of some sort, but I also kinda fell like most decent strippers can gauge interest pretty well. The ones that come over with the hard sell aren't doing so because they thought I was interested. I'm thinking they'd see the red card and come over anyway. To answer the how to tell her to bug off, any number of things work. Some examples include: "It was nice meeting you. Have a nice evening" or "Thanks for stopping by, I'm not interested in any dances. Have a good one." Sometimes I put in less effort and it's just a simple no thank you, I'm good, or both, shortly after introductions are made. My techniques aren't fool proof, some strippers insist on lingering or do dumb shit like ask for rejection tips. Others seem to take offense or take it hard from an ego perspective. I don't do rejection tips, and while I make an effort not to hurt anyone's feelings I don't loose a wink of sleep about it in this situation. It's part of the job.